Prejudice, ignorance, and unjustness. They still exist, and it is surprising how often they rear their ugly heads in our world today. They may be fading away (at least one would hope so), but they are no where near extinction.
Things happen in life, or rather - life hits you in such ways - that often slipping into oblivion would be the easiest thing to do. Apathy and ignorance are the poor layman's euthanasia. Try not to take those pills - the one perfect moment is worth all those spent wading through the murky waters.
Say you gave everything you thought you could, and still it wasn't enough. Say even now, as you lie in bed, you are haunted by regret - regret that you didn't do this, or didn't do that. I should have, I could have--- I could have done... more.
If you could do everything, believe in the highest ideals, hold the purest dove as your idol in life and always strive to fly with her - and if everything still fell apart - then what? What is the point, what is the point in anything, you ask.
Some things, one mortal being cannot change in a day, in a year, even in a lifetime. Some regrets, some sorrows, one just has to live with. Along with memories, they all have to be placed in a little box and put away to get lost in cobwebs and dust. And only after a long time, can that box of memories ever be opened again.
Nightmares. They teach us a lot, about life, about people, about the foundations you build your palace upon. You can never expect anyone, no one - to act the way you wish they would, or the way you think you would if you were in the same situation. You cannot expect a lot, from a lot of people.
But that doesn't mean that you can have no faith in people.
True pearls shine even in the darkness.
Thank you Shahzad, Nirosh, Hoon... You are the best friends a guy could ever have. I will never, ever, doubt your integrities, and I would have broken many bones, lost many years even - if you guys weren't there to catch me when I was falling. Thank you Colleen, Ilia, Pavanie, Ritam, Dushan, Sudheera, Simon, Hemal, Jillian, Rayji, Bradley, Matthew, Dina, and especially you, Tracy, my favourite apple - I am glad we are walking this road together.
Ammi, Thathi. I love you, with all my heart. When I come home - when we chat about stuff, and laugh at Bear, and eat dinner together, and laze on the couches as we watch Seinfeld, or even argue about what life should be all about - I am safe, and darkness must wait outside. You two are the pillars of my life, you have made me what I am, and I am so, so proud to be a part of our long line of greatness. You taught me, and constantly show me how to live a virtuous life, and how to always be true to myself. Those kinds of things I will always carry with me - for any old parent, any old culture can just buy your ignorance.
I was an angry person for a while. A very angry person. But not any more. Anger - it does nothing except fuel more anger. Those who let me down, who weren't there, or chose not to be there, for whatever reason - they are only human, as am I - and are entitled to live a life free of my hatred. Whatever that last sentence meant. Only those worth your emotions and time and thoughts, deserve them.
Looking back on these ramblings - they would seem cluttered with clich?after clich?after clich? But I have come to see what we so often regard as clich differently - those who call certain emotions, or certain ideas clich - probably never found themselves hurtling towards a barrier, and finding themselves with absolutely no control whatsoever over their next second, their next smile, their next kiss, their next laugh, their next tear.
Perfection is still always worth striving for.
I'll see you on the other side,
-dha-
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