“Alright, kiddo, you have a good time this weekend,” Nurse MacDonough smiled as Kat pulled her jacket over her head. “Thanks for helping out this morning, too. You didn’t have to come in this early, really.”

“Thanks Mac,” Kat winked. “Its no problem really. I just wanted see my babies before I head off for the weekend.” She smiled to herself at the thought of the newborn premies she’d been helping with. “And with Renee wanting us up there before 3, the only way I’d get a chance to see them was to come this early. Well, I’m off. Wish me a cramp-free five-hour drive!”

“Ok, Kat. And don’t let those boys up there get fresh with you, either, darlin’,” Mac called as Kat got on the elevator.

“Bye Mac,” Kat grinned as the doors closed.

Kat took a deep breath as the elevator transported her the four floors to the main lobby. She’d been looking forward to the weekend since the week started but now it seemed like so much had happened in those few days that spending the next few days curled in the fetal position under her covers seemed more fun than anything Renee and Sylvia could throw at her.

Renee and Sylvia. The two people closest to her but and the same time, the two people furthest away. The three had gone all through school together. They fought like cats and dogs most of the time but managed to never held a grudge. They were there when Kat needed a place to stay when her mother would go no one of her binges. They were they when Kat was trying to return to a normal life after her suicide attempt. They were there when Kat moved in with her father and when was she trying to cope with her stepmother's icy attitude. They never treated her different or like the freak she always felt she was.

At the same time they had no conception of what it was like to be inside her head. Sometimes she couldn’t tell if they treated her illness with indifference out of respect for her feelings or because they really didn’t care. When they went off to college, it was like something was missing. She got the feeling that they took it as a relief. They would no longer have to deal with the drama that was Kathryn McBride, much like her mother years before. When the year came to an end and summer came, they were together again but it was somehow different. They didn’t particularly want to pick up the job of being Kat’s crutch again, especially with Kat still reeling from Gabriel’s death; just another chapter in Kat’s miserable life.

Kat tried to brush off the introspection that had taken her through the bus ride home as she descended the steps of the number 10. You’re just nervous to see them again. They haven’t changed all that much. Your still three little girls from SoHo, rolling your uniform skirts and getting detention for untucked shirts. Relax and have a good time. She smiled as she walked up the block to see Sylvia sitting on the front steps of her dorm.

“What took ya so long, bitch?” Sylvia called as she saw Kat approaching.

“Me?? You are early, biznatch!” Kat smiled back. Just get me through this weekend, God, with no episodes, bitch-fests, Matt Vargen-sightings, or thoughts of dreamy Pop Icons and I just might go to mass on Sunday.

“Buongiorno, Katerina! Come stai?” Renee “Rey” Flemming called from her dorm room window as she watched Kat and Sylvia grab their bags from the trunk of Sylvia’s car.

“Sta non c’e male! E tu?” Kat called up to her friend, squinting in the afternoon sun.

“Sorry, I don’t know any more,” Renee giggled as she watched the two make their way towards the main entrance. “I’ll come down and let you in!”

“Good idea!” Sylvia smirked. “That, Rey: always thinkin’.”

Kat chuckled at the comment. “Rey may not be the sharpest pencil in the box but she is certainly the best dressed.”

“That made no sense.”

“I know.”

Suddenly the door flew open to reveal Renee, dressed to kill, and flashing her trademark smile that seemed to make the boys turn into little bowls of jello. “Hey, party people!” she exclaimed hugging Kat and Sylvia and giving them each a quick kiss.

“Happy, Happy, Birthday Baby!” Kat sang with a huge grin on her face as she pulled Renee into another hug. “The big 1-9! You are so old, my friend.”

“Oh, well thank you,” Rey sighed dramatically. “Here’s the deal, guys. We are going to hit Leo’s, the bar down the road ‘cus they’ll serve us as long as we get there before 3. When the older crowd starts to come in, they start carding. And then we’ll have a whole night of house parties ahead of us! Sound good?”

“I feel drunk already,” Sylvia kidded.

“My friends are here!” Rey called out, excitedly as the three reached her floor.

“Hey guys!” Renee’s roommate, Julia, called from the doorway of their room.

“Hey Jules,” Kat and Sylvia both smiled.

“Hurry up and get changed, Kat, we’re leaving in like 2 minutes,” Renee stated as she walked into her room and headed straight to the mirror for some last minute primping.

“Change?” Kat asked, looking down at the jeans and black, bra-strap tank she wore.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Renee questioned, her disbelief dripping from her facial expression.

“Listen, we don’t all have to dress like Jennifer Lopez, Rey,” she stated regarding Renee’s tight, hip-hugging vinyl pants and chest-bearing halter top. “Besides, I’m afraid if I get all hoochied-out I might steal all the boys’ attention from you. And it is your birthday, after all.”

“Thanks a lot,” Rey sarcastically remarked, returning to her reflection in the mirror. “But I really don’t think it’d be a problem.”

“Whatever you say, Puff Mommy,” Kat chuckled.

“Are we ready?” Julia asked as she stuck her cigarette in her bag.

“I am,” Kat said, her eyes boring into Renee’s reflection in the mirror.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Sylvia chimed in quickly before the bitch-match she felt coming on actually erupted.

“Let’s do it,” Renee smiled, devilishly.

“I cannot believe you did that to me!” Kat cried, glaring at her so-called best friends in disbelief as she paced the length of Renee’s dorm room.

“I really don’t see what the big deal is Kat!” Sylvia yelled right back.

“The big deal? You two spread around my business like its your own and you really don’t see why I’m upset?!” Kat spat back, stopping dead in her tracks.

“Jesus Christ, Kat! You did try to kill yourself! You are manic-depressive! You are also recovered so why is it that you’re so ashamed?” Renee said, her reasoning as shaky as her motives. Rey had been trying to snare Matt Vargen since the year before and his attraction to Kat wasn’t something she welcomed. So she’d “let it slip” to him that Kat was bi-polar and proceeded to tell him everything from her suicide attempt to her alcoholic mother to which anti-psychotic she took.

“You,” Kat began, pointing at Renee,” have changed so much I don’t even recognize you. I can’t believe you did what you did just to get a random piece of ass from a guy you’d forget as soon as you won him over. I’ve trusted you completely since we were in diapers and within the span of a year you have managed to destroy everything our friendship once was. I can’t even stand to look at you.” Her voice, though soft, sent chills through the two girls’ spines.

“And you,” Kat continued turning her attention to Sylvia, “have no mind of your own. And you know what? You never did. It just never hurt anyone until now. Christ, when did you two turn in to such manipulative bitches?” She refused to let them see the tears she knew were coming. She grabbed her bags and, without another word, bolted through the door, leaving the other two speechless.

As she flew down the stairs, she almost smacked right into a clearly inebriated Julia. “Hey Kat! Why’d you guys leave so early?” Julia exclaimed. “Where’s Rey-Rey, I got a present for her,” she continued wiggling her eyebrows. “You coming?!” she called back down the stairs.

Kat’s eyes widened as Matt Vargen came around the bend of the stairwell. “Enjoy,” was all she said before pushing past the two.

All she felt as she strode out of the dorm was anger. Not hurt. Not even jealousy. Matt was merely the catalyst that released a storm that was brewing for over a year. She’d decided on the car ride up that she wouldn’t let anything happen with Matt. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything, knowing that she’d be seeing JC on Sunday. As much as she tried to keep him from entering her thoughts, her mind kept replaying the feel of his lips on her hand the day before. She couldn’t shake the look in his eyes as they spoke at lunch. There was something there.

No, Matt wasn’t the problem. It was the breech of trust that the old Renee would have never made and the old Sylvia would have never condoned. It was the fact that she had to accept what she had never wanted to accept: that over the past year the two people she trusted the most had become people she barely knew anymore. Her childhood best friends were gone. She also had to now accept that she, herself, had changed. She now confided in Jordan and Erin more than she had in Sylvia and Rey and had been going on for a while. It had become clear as day over the summer when they all tried to pretend that the inevitable hadn’t happened. They were different. They’d had different experiences and influences shaping them over the past year and the difference was unmistakable as well as irreversible.

This is a disturbing revelation to make when your stranded in the Big Tree.

Kat dug her cell phone out of her bag and dialed impatiently, silently becoming more and more miffed as she realized that no one was coming to see if she was ok. “Yeah, can you connect me to a cab company, any cab company.”

It was 20 minutes before the cab pulled up.

“The Bus Terminal, please.”

Kat paid the Manhattan cabby she’d hailed at Penn Station and dug out her keys. She glanced down at her watch and groaned. It was only 11pm and people would still be up. She prayed that Jordan, Erin, and Lisa had gone out for the night so she wouldn’t have to get into the mess she’d left behind in Pennsylvania. She did feel an itch to talk to someone, though. Her friends were just to close to the situation.

When she reached her door she noticed a note on the dry erase board.

K,

Went home w/ Greg. Took Tweedle Dee and Tweendle Dum with me. Be back Sunday night. Hope you had fun!

-J

Thank God, she thought as she let herself into the pitch-dark room. She flipped on the fluorescent overhead light that they never used and dropped her bags on her still unmade bed. She walked across the room to check the machine for messages as she stripped off her team windbreaker. The counter read zero but there was a yellow post-it stuck to the back of the phone, itself.

K,

JC called. Said to give him a call when you get home. No number but said to look in you jacket pocket (?) Who the hell is JC, hoochie!

-J

What the hell? Kat thought as she strode over to her closet and dug her hands into both pockets of the leather jacket she’d worn the day before. The fingers of her right hand latched onto something and she immediately yanked it out. It was a napkin floded into what looked like an origami-style star. One of the points bore a small handwritten message:

Open Me.

Kat took a deep breath and slowly undid all the intricate tucks and folds.

Kat,

Just wanted to say that I had a great time and I can’t wait to see you again. Call me anytime.

Josh

Kat’s lips uncontrollable stretched into a bigger smile with every word she read. Beneath his signature were the digits of what appeared to be a cell phone number. When did he ever get close enough to me to get this into my pocket? To Kat’s surprise, she didn’t mind the thought of him being that near.

She had a urge to pick up the phone and dial like there was no tomorrow but she hesitated. It is kinda late… If he’s not out he’s probably sleeping… But then again he did underline anytime… I do need someone to vent to and he was easy to talk to yesterday… Maybe too easy… I might end up spilling my guts and then I’ll blow the whole thing… He wouldn’t want to see me or slip little notes into my pocket if he knew I was a nut case… STOP IT KATHRYN ROSE MCBRIDE! Stop thinking so damn much!

Kat grabbed the cordless phone and curled up on her bed. She took a deep breath and dialed.

“Yo, C., I think your ass I ringing,” Justin smirked, slapping his dozing friend upside the head. “You better wake up cus we’re gonna party up tonight, buddy!”

JC chuckled at his young friend, who stood before him doing the cabbage-patch to no music. He dug his phone out of his back pocket and moved into the next room for some privacy, leaving Justin still dancing like a demented monkey. “Hello?”

“Um, hi, JC?”

“Kat?” She doesn’t sound right. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until Sunday. Is something wrong?”

“Uh, it’s a long story,” she sighed. How could he know something’s wrong? “I just got back and when I got your messages I just had to call and see how you managed that little trick.”

“A true magician never reveals his secrets,” JC chuckled as he settled back comfortably into one of the room’s armchairs.

“It a good thing you’re a pop star and not magician, then, huh?”

“I can’t be both?”

“No, now spill.”

“No way. Then all the mystery will be gone from the trick and that can only lead to me losing my mystery. I can’t have either. Not yet, at least,” he teased, a slow smile forming on his lips.

“Well fine, then, Houdini,” Kat admonished, “But no one can keep a secret forever.” Certainly not me. “So what are you up to?”

“Well, the guys are dragging me out to the clubs, again, but if you give me n excuse to bail, I’ll be your best friend.”

“Well I certainly need one of those right now,” Kat sighed. “So if you’d rather be listening to a girl you barely know bitch about her problems than going out and getting jiggy with all the juggies, then I’m your girl.”

My girl, huh? “Well how could I refuse such an offer?”

“I thought I made it pretty easy,” Kat smirked.

JC could almost see her face, the expressiveness of it, just from her voice. There was something behind it though; something he couldn’t quite place. He had sensed a kind of sadness behind the glib remarks and upbeat sarcasm but now it was as if something were missing. It almost reminded him of… him. He could tell, now. She was hurting from something; a loss. He knew the feeling. With her it seemed even more so, but it was definitely a loss of some sort.

“JC, you there?” Kat questioned nervously.

“Yeah, sorry," JC said quickly, not realizing how far away his thought had taken him. “My mind has a tendency to wander,” he stated apologetically, raking his left hand through his hair.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m the same way,” Kat admitted. “Completely scatterbrained; pulled in a thousand different directions at once. I can only imagine that it must be a million time worse for you, superstar.”

He could feel her smiling on the other end of the line. It was as if her soul could travel electrically over the phone lines. What the hell is happening to me?? I met her two days ago. TWO DAYS, for Christ’s sake! Why does it feel like I’ve know her forever? “Yeah well, it’s the life I chose. I wouldn’t change it for anything right now. Music is like breathing to me. Being on stage is like being home.”

“It must be incredible having something you love like that; that kind of passion. I don’t have anything like that.”

“There must be something. Even if you haven’t found it yet.”

“You sound very sure of that.”

“From what I’ve seen of you? It’s a no-brainer.”

“You think you know me pretty well, huh, Mr. Chasez?”

Yes. “Nah, not really. Just a feeling.”

Bull. “Oh I see.”

“So you wanna meet somewhere?”

“Huh?”

“To talk. I though you said-”

“Oh right, I’m sorry. I completely forgot. Yeah, if you want.”

“Try and keep me away.”

“Whoa, there, cowboy. How about some coffee? There’s a place I usually go to and its walking distance from my dorm if you want to just meet me here and we can walk over together.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m on my way.”

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

JC tucked his phone back into his jeans and walked back into the room where Justin was waiting on him, not even bothering to hide how pleased with himself he was.

“OK. Out with it. That was Hard Rock Lady, wasn’t it?” Justin needled his friend.

“Indeed, it was,” JC sighed. “Sorry to say you guys are going to have to ‘party up’ without me tonight.”

“Oh, c’mon, JC!” Justin pouted. “Why can’t you just bring her along?”

“Because something is wrong and she needs to talk.”

“No, no, no,” Justin shook his head emphatically. “If something is bothering her then she needs to get out and have some fun. Please, JC, Lance isn’t going either. Don’t make me go out alone with Chris and Joey. You know they are more than a single human being can handle.”

“Sorry, Curly, I don’t think so. The last thing she needs is to deal with all of us in force when she’d stressing about something. Maybe I can get her to hang out with all of us tomorrow night so she can get used to you freaks.”

“First of all, Hey! Second of all, is it that serious that you think she’s gonna be around enough to have to get used to us?”

“Well, um… I didn’t really mean that um… I mean…” JC hadn’t even realized the implications of what he’d just said. Were things that serious?

“Not a trick question, C.”

“It can be though,” JC replied softly, looking his friend in the eye, a definite melancholy having fallen over his disposition.

“Yeah, well just make sure you know what your doing. I don’t think we can survive another of your downward love-lorn spirals.”

JC’s only answer was a fiery glare before he grabbed the keys and left to meet Kat.

“Have you talked to Jaclyn, yet?” Justin asked, eyeing his friend warily.

“What’s there to talk about? She screwing Matty, the Boy Wonder,” JC spouted, bitterly as he tossed his cloths haphazardly into his suitcase. “What do you care, anyway? I thought you’d be striking up the band right now. ‘Ding Dong, the bitch is dead,’ right, Justin?”

“Listen, Chasez, I’m not happy here. Yeah, so I never trusted her. I was worried about you because I thought she’d hurt you and oh, lookie here! I’ll tell ya, its hard bring right all the time.”

“You can stop right there, Justin. I don’t want to hear ‘I told you so’ so you can save it!”

The hurt and anger JC was carrying permeated from every pore of his body. He looked just about ready to snap. Justin could tell that if ever there was a time to back off, it was at that moment. But he didn’t care.

“You may not want to hear this but you have to. I know you are hurting. I know you are angry. I’ve been there, too. You are not the first guy to find out that the girl you love is not who you thought she was. You have got to snap out of this, man. It’s been over a month and as much as it sucks and as much as I hate to say it, you can’t keep being so selfish. There are four other lives depending on you keeping it together, not to mention all the other lives that are dedicated to getting us where we want to be. We make sacrifices for each other. That’s how we get by. But you are falling apart here, my friend, and it shows.

“You look like shit everyday, you’re getting sloppy on stage and its like there is nothing there when you sing. The JC I know would never let his dream fall apart like you are. There are so many acts out there lined up for our job. Do you understand what its like right now? We could be so easily replaced right now, its scary. We haven’t pulled away from the flock yet. We can’t afford to make mistakes right now. We are counting on you, C. Jaclyn proved that she’s not worth all this trouble. She’s proved that she’s not the one. How long are you going to hold onto the hurt?” Justin paused, staring at JC, intently for what seemed like forever.

JC couldn’t bring himself to look his friend in the eye. He gave no reply. He didn’t snap back like he’d done everyday for more than a month whenever anyone had something to say to him. He was silent, not wanting to acknowledge the truth of his eighteen-year-old friend’s words.

Sensing that he wasn’t about to get an answer Justin continued. “I’m going to give you one piece of advice, Big Daddy. Get over it.” He picked up his own bag and made his way to the door. “Get over it before you can’t reverse the damage.”

With that the door slammed leaving JC sitting on his bed, holding his head in his hands. Justin was right. All of it. It had been a month of gut-wrenching misery for everyone and none of it was necessary. He’d been selfish, thinking only that he was hurting. He hadn’t even noticed what he was doing to his friends and if he had, he hadn’t cared. JC stood and made his way to the bathroom. He splashed the water on his face until he heard Lance calling from the other room.

“JC, the bus is leaving in ten minutes. Hurry up!”

“Ok!” he called back staring at his dripping reflection in the mirror. “Get over it.”

As he drove to Kat’s dorm, JC kept thinking about that morning in Las Vegas when Justin had snapped him back into reality. Get over it. He’d been trying ever since to throw himself into the music and the performing and the fans. He’d told himself he was over it but was it only because he’d never tried to get close to anyone again? Every time he’d seen Kat it was like all the air was sucked out of him and he couldn’t think of anything but the expressions on her face and the tone of her voice; trying to read them to get some insight into what it was about her that tied him up in knots. He didn’t think of anything but her. But as soon as she was out of his sight the doubts came. Was he just setting himself up again to be let down? Did she feel even half of what he was feeling? If she ever confided in him about what Ethan had told him, would he be able to handle it? If she did feel the same way, would she ever be able to handle living within his insane world? Could she deal with photographers and the fans? She could deal with having to be kept secret; with being in the same room and not being able to even acknowledge each other? Could she deal with the miniscule amount of time he’d be able to give her? Could he deal with any of that? Could he be able to be without that smile and laugh and the smell of her hair and her voice and… Get control, Chasez. Stop thinking so God damned much!

His internal commentary had taken him all the way to Kat’s dorm. She sat out on the front steps looking beautiful, but troubled. Please let her open up to me.

JC’s eyes widened as Kat led him into Beth’s Café. The place was amazing. It looked amazing, it smelled amazing, and the way Kat looked as if she’d come home was amazing.

“Kit-Kat!” one of the waitresses smiled as Kat and JC made their way deeper into the coffee house.

“Hey Caroline,” Kat smiled softly as the waitress made her way over to the two.

“Wow, buddy, you’ve made it into the inner sanctum I think,” Caroline winked at JC. “Kit-Kat’s never brought anyone here with her.”

“Thanks, Car,” Kat blushed.

JC smiled at the waitress as she pointed to a couple of chairs in the back but more so, he was smiling at her comment.

“You come here, a lot, I take it?” JC asked as they settled into Kat’s usual spot.

“You might say that,” Kat chuckled. Only if you’d call every night ‘a lot’, yeah sure.

“So what’s this ‘Kit-Kat’ stuff?” JC smiled nodding at the cursive writing on the left breast of Kat’s windbreaker.

“It’s just a nickname the student body likes to torture me with. It was started be one of my coaches about a year ago.” Kat explained.

“I see,” JC laughed lightly as Caroline came over with a mug in her hand.

“Here you go, Kat,” she smiled, setting the steaming cup of tea on the table. “And what can I get you, babes?”

“Uh, coffee, black and sweet,” JC said eyeing Kat at she sipped from the mug.

“You got it.”

“Service here is pretty incredible, I’d say,” JC laughed.

“Ok, ok, so I come here more than a lot,” Kat admitted, her cheeks starting to turn a familiar shade of pink. “I don’t really sleep that well so I come here almost every night.”

“I thought so,” JC said softly. “You looked very at home as soon as we walked in.”

“Yeah, well, its as close to home as I can get these days.”

“What’s bothering you, Kit-Kat,” JC asked softly as he reached across the table to take her hand in his. Before he could take hold of her trembling fingers, she pulled them back, using them to tuck loose stands of hair behind her ears. “Kat I don’t know what is going on with you or what’s going on with us, but if you could trust me I think we’d both be better off for it.”

Kat kept her eyes down, refusing to meet his. She knew the look in them would be completely sincere and she knew as soon as she saw them, she break down and tell him everything. She couldn’t allow that to happen.

“Kat?” JC questioned, looking for some kind of response.

Slowly her eyes came up and met his, almost as if they were magnetic. She inhaled sharply as she saw the truth of his words in the endless gray depth of his eyes. She felt compelled to trust him with everything; her secrets to her very life. She opened her mouth to speak.

“Here ya go, babes,” Caroline said plopping JC’s coffee on the table in front of him. JC suppressed a groan as he looked up and smiled at the eager waitress.

The momentary interruption gave Kat the window of opportunity she needed to turn the tables. “So Mr. Chasez, we didn’t really get a chance to talk about you yesterday.”

JC looked back from Caroline, a little shocked. He smiled and decided to let her steer the conversation. It was possible he could use this to get something out of her as well. “Well let’s make this interesting,” JC smirked, leaning back against the back of his chair.

“What do you mean, interesting.”

“Well for every question I answer, you have to answer one of mine, no exceptions.”

“I don’t know about this,” Kat smiled, looking very flustered.

“Yes you do,” JC stated flatly.

He was right too. Deep down she wanted to tell him anything he waned to know. What kind of sick compulsion is this?? I knew this was a bad idea. There is no way I’m getting out of here with my secrets intact. she thought, eyeing JC as he waited patiently for an answer.

“Ok. I’m in.”

“Alright, then,” JC smirked, rubbing his hands together, as she directed her first question.

“Tell me about your family.”

“Uh, well, my parents are great, still together. I’m the oldest of three. I have a brother and a sister- Tyler and Heather. They still live in Maryland. Uh, I dunno, what else?”

“Do you all get along?”

“Oh, yeah. I mean there was always the normal stuff, fights that parents and siblings have, but never anything serious. I guess there is a real strain since I’m not around a lot but I talk to them all the time and get home whenever I can. I guess I just know that whatever my family and I go through from now on will be a piece of cake compared to this. All I know is that I couldn’t do what I do without their support and they give it so freely that I always find myself in awe of them. I guess I was really lucky.” They looked at each other intently as JC spoke so passionately about his family. Kat could almost imagine what it would be like to be part of a family like that. A family that loved and supported unconditionally. Almost but not quite.

“What about you?” JC asked, eyebrow cocked.

“What about me? I told you about my dysfunctional escapades yesterday.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Kat sighed heavily at the thought of her four half-sisters: the icy spawn of the Nordic Ice Princess. “Well, my father had a quadruplet of little blond icicles with my step-mother. The oldest is 16 and the youngest is 5. I think there still maybe be hope for the little one but the other three are doomed to lead their mother’s tragic life of bitchdom.”

JC chuckled at Kat’s brash style of speaking. If she was going to bother to tell anyone anything, it was going to be laid out and clear as possible. “What are their names?”

“Ah, my favorite part. In both chronological and alphabetical order: Abigail, Bethany, Cecilia, and Daphne. Daphne is really a sweet little thing but unless I kidnap her and send her to live with some nuns or something, I’m afraid she’ll fall to the same fate as the others. The only thing that could save them at this point is like cult-level deprogramming or an old priest and a young one.”

“You are crazy, you know that?” JC laughed.

“Yeah, I know,” Kat smiled quietly, knowing he didn't intetend the double meaning his remark held. “My turn. What are you afraid of?”

“Needles. My turn.”

“No, no, no! You know what I mean,” Kat said throwing her hands up in the air.

“Ok, ok. Um, I guess I’m scared of being alone for the rest of my life… of not finding the one, you know? Uh, I’m scared that someday all this will come crashing down around me and the guys and it’ll be my fault. I’m scared that I may have let some opportunities slide that I shouldn't have. I’m scared to make the one wrong decision that could destroy everything I’ve worked for. I’m scared to let the fans down because I know we owe them everything and to lose their confidence would be almost as hurtful as losing the confidence of the guys or my family.” JC paused studying Kat’s face. It was as if she brought all of this out of him. He’d never even let his fears come to the surface of his consciousness. He felt like if he acknowledged his fears, he’d be afraid of everything. But there was something in the way she looked at him that told him it was ok to be scared as long as you can share it with someone who genuinely cares. “Now you’re the one making me talk about things I never talk about,” JC said in a low, almost inaudible voice.

“We seem to have that effect on each other. Wonder why that is?” Kat countered just as softly.

“My turn.” JC smiled, shaking off the last exchange. “Describe your last major relationship.”

There it was. The question that she could either answer truthfully and scare him away or fudge around the details and have a lie eating at her forever. She opened her mouth to speak when,

“Kat!”

Kat leaned to the side to see around JC’s shoulder. Caroline stood at the front counter with a phone in her left hand. “Phone call, Kit-Kat!”

“You planned that,” JC smirked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“No, but I wish I had. Chances are this can only be bad news or lead to bad news,” Kat shrugged as she slipped out of the chair. She took a calming breath as she strode toward the front of the café. She had thought her heart would explode when JC’s last question passed through his lips. Please let him forget what we were talking about, Kat thought, raising her eyes heavenward. Yeah, right! Who am I kidding?

“Thanks,” she smiled at Caroline as she grabbed the phone. “Hello?”

“Kat?”

“Sylvia? What the hell are you calling me here for?”

“Well, I figured if you were back in the city, that’s where you’d go so I just called information when I couldn’t get you at your room.”

“Why didn’t you just leave a message?”

“Because, we feel really bad about what happened and we want to make it up to you. Me and Rey are on our way back we’re gonna take you out.”

“Sorry, you might as well turn around and go to a kegger or something because I’m busy.”

“What do you mean you’re busy?”

“I’m busy. And I plan on being busy for a long damn while. Listen, I’m pretty sure I made it clear to you that I didn’t want to speak to either of you. There is no excuse for what you did and no amount of club hopping is going to make up for it. You two humiliated me and broke a lifelong trust for absolutely no good reason and there is nothing you can say to change that.” With that she hung up the phone and tried to compose herself.

“What was that about?”

Kat flew around to see JC standing behind, looking concerned… and nosey.

“How much of that did you hear?” Kat questioned, a bit annoyed that he’d been listening.

“Just the last part. I wanted to see if you were ok. You looked kind of agitated.”

“Well, its really none of your business.” Kat spat out, not really angry at him. She was angry at the situation she found herself in: a home life that could upstage the more the vicious episodes of the “Crocodile Hunter”, mental health that could only barely be described as such, a love life that was more complicated than the storyline of an Indian soap opera and a couple of best friends who’d sold her out for a piece of ass.

“I’m sorry, JC. I can’t do this right now.” With that she bolted out of the café leaving JC wondering what the hell had just happened.

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