Chapter Sixteen
Saturday, 9pm, New York City
Chapter Sixteen
Saturday, 9pm, New York City
A half hour later, the party was back in full swing and Jack was long forgotten by just about everyone. Everyone but the people who were unsure where to go from there.
Regan absently gazed down at the crook of her arm. She couldn’t shake the feeling of Jack’s hand gripping her. It lingered much like the subtle marks left on her arm. No one, no man, had ever handled her so roughly. Her brother and father were the two most gentle, caring men she’d ever known. They protected her from things like that. Now, she had someone new protecting her.
She knew Jack was not a violent man. He’d never given her a moment’s pause about that, even though his integrity had been brought into question many times. He was just upset and jealous and he wasn’t thinking. As much as she rationalized his behavior, she didn’t condone it. It was more for herself, to assure herself that her radar hadn’t been that off when it came to Jack.
“Are you okay?”
She looked up and smiled warmly at Justin. “Yeah. Why?”
“You were kinda inspected your arm, there. Does it hurt?”
The concern in his voice made her shiver. She wished things with him could be easier. That they lived closer to one another, that he wasn’t always going to be so busy, that the circumstances would allow them to have a real shot at having something. His lifestyle could easily kill something that could have worked perfectly otherwise. She tried to shake the thought. She wanted to believe in fairy tales and happily ever after but real life was never that kind.
“I’m okay, I ‘m just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that it happened. He’s really not like that.”
“Apparently he is,” Justin replied softly, hoping she wouldn’t be offended.
“I guess,” she sighed. “Thank you for what you did. It’s good to know you care.”
More than care. “Yeah, well, what can I say?” he grinned. “You got under my skin, babe.”
“I’d like to say I have that effect on most people but that sad truth is that I don’t,” Regan laughed. “That makes me wonder about you.”
Justin’s smile faded, his soft gaze, once again, becoming intense. He had to do this before he lost his nerve again. “We need to talk,” he said firmly, holding out his hand to her.
The look that covered his face worried her. If he told her what her heart wanted him to tell her, she didn’t know if she could respond the way her heart wanted her to respond. Nonetheless, she needed to take this chance and slipped her delicate hand into his.
She knew immediately where he was leading her. The scene of the crime, as she’d begun to think of it. The ally where they danced for the first time. The ally where the confusion had started.
They weaved through the tables, unaware of the high-five Bridget and JC handed each other across the room. Through the kitchen door, past the trays of yet-to-be-served food, and through the side door, Regan and Justin found the all to familiar ally.
Justin held the door open and Regan passed the threshold as gracefully as if she were dancing. Justin wondered if it was just him or could everyone see that beauty? She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep warm in the chilly night air. Without a second thought, Justin shrugged off his leather jacket and slipped it over her shoulders. It hung loosely on her slight frame but with a soft-spoken “thank you,” her fingers curled around the edge of the soft leather and pulled it tighter around her body.
She didn’t want to speak, unsure of how her voice would come out— if it would at all. But she knew he needed her to say something- anything. Things had to be said and it was clear he was ready to say them. He just needed some kind of prompt that she was unsure of how to give. While she was sure she wanted to hear the words he was about to say, she’s wasn’t sure if she was ready.
“So, what’s up?” she asked, the lightness of the phrase eclipsed by the intensity of the situation.
She looked up at him, stunned by the look in his eyes. He took a deep breath but before he could force the words out, he broke their stare and turned away, scratching the back of his head and cursing his cowardice.
“Justin you know you can tell me anything,” she said softly, surprising herself by just how much she wanted to hear him say it, but cringing when she realized it could never be as easy as saying words— a task that seemed to be pretty difficult.
“This is harder,” he whispered, the fact that she’d called him “Justin” for the first time since the night in the hospital not going unnoticed.
“Why?” She moved closer, still clutching his jacket and cocked her head in an effort to get him to look at her.
He ran a hand over his face in frustration before complying to her unspoken request. What he saw in her face screamed at him to just come out and say it. He reached out both hands, capturing hers. And then he spoke.
“Regan, the day I met you, I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach all day long. From the time I woke up that morning to the plane ride here, to the cab… I didn’t know what it was. I thought I was just anxious to get back out on the road, ya know? To perform. When I saw you get off the bus, the feeling doubled. I had no idea what was going on and when I saw you crossing the street it wasn’t that I didn’t have time to think when I saw that car coming, I wasn’t thinking already. I could barely see your face and already, I… Regan, what I’m trying to say is, I care about you in a way I’ve never cared about any other girl before. I know we live so far apart and my life is crazy in a way that makes relationships really difficult but… if I don’t try with you, with someone who has become one of the most important people in my life, I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
He took a deep breath and squeezed her hands gently, unable to read her eyes like he’d been so good at since the day they met.
Her mind was screaming to stop him. If she let him go on, she wouldn’t have the strength to tell him no and that was what she had to do. This was completely impractical. There was a reason why her boyfriends had always been handed their hat so early on. No feelings, no distractions. Her life had one purpose and that was to dance. She just got a second chance at her dream and now she was living it. If she cared about a person more than she cared about her dream, where would that leave her?
Her heart screamed to let him go on until he ran out of words and then not to hesitate to tell him yes. Ballet was a hole to stick her head in. It wasn’t what it once was to her so how could she sacrifice something so real staring her in the face for it? The moment she felt that pain shooting through her limbs and she ignored it, was the moment ballet became a nightmare. The constant fear of it being taken away wasn’t out of love of dance, it was because ballet was the only thing she allowed her self to have and without it she’d have nothing. Her heart continued to reason with her head… telling it that maybe if she had something else in her life to care about, the fear wouldn’t no longer be there and she could find that love she once had for it.
“Regan, I want to be with you. I want it to be you and me, Regan and Justin. When I introduce you to people I want to say, “This is my girlfriend,” and when you introduce me to people I want you to say “This is my boy—”
“Justin,” she cut him off. She let go of his hands and backed away, the tears in her eyes dangling precariously and about to fall. She turned her back to him and wiped her eyes dry.
His heart was sinking and his mind searched wildly for something to say to make her say yes.
The battle raged on inside her until one side finally won out. She looked up and saw an old man walking past the ally. “Excuse me, Sir!” she called out to him, her voice still shaky. The man stopped in his tracks. “Wait there a sec!” She turned and grabbed Justin’s hand. Completely and utterly confused, he allowed her to pull him with her as she ran towards the old man.
“Sir,” she breathed as they made it to the end of the ally. “I want you to meet someone.” She looked up at Justin who was still completely lost. “This is my boyfriend, Justin.”
Justin’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped as he looked at her tear-stained but smiling face. The old man’s eyes passed between the pair, wondering what the hell was going on. Justin got over his shock, and his face spread into a smile he hadn’t used in the longest time. His fingers tangled with Regan’s and he turned back to the old man. “And this is my girlfriend, Regan.”
The old man mumbled something about “kids” and shuffled off. Regan and Justin watched him walk away for a moment before breaking into a fit of laughter. Justin pulled her a few feet back into the ally and enveloped her in his arms, bowing his head down to nestle in the crook of her neck. His warm breath on her neck in the cool night air was enough to send chills up her spine. She’d never had any guy affect her like that with such a simple action.
“You remember that last night here?” he mumbled into her hair.
“Mmmhmm…”
“I really wanted to kiss you.”
She pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. She was silent a moment before she finally spoke. “I really wanted you to,” she breathed.
“What about now?” he asked their faces inching closer.
“Now is right.” With that she tilted her head up, closing the remaining space between them and claiming his lips before he could claim hers.
The kiss was knee-weakening and head-spinning and everything a first kiss should be. Her hands fisted in the royal blue fabric of his untucked dress shirt and his hands gently held her face, his long fingers tangling in the loose strands of hair that had escaped the braided bun at the nape of her neck. He guided the kiss, learning her, reveling in the feeling he’d denied himself for so long. To think, he could have had this weeks and weeks ago.
When they finally parted, both were breathless and helplessly leaning back in for the soft, quick butterfly kisses each offered the other— anything to have the feeling again and again.
“Why do I feel like we’ve wasted a lot of time?” Regan said, finding her voice.
“Probably because we have,” Justin laughed lightly. “You know they all knew before us,” he continued, nodding toward the restaurant.
“Doesn’t surprise me. It occurs to me that Bridget’s been working me ever since she came to see the show in LA,” Regan laughed. “Besides it’s a lot easier to see when you’re on the outside.”
“JC told me the same thing,” he told her, running a finger down her cheek. “Something tells me they tag-teamed us.”
“I don’t know whether to thank them or get them back.”
“Let’s decide later,” Justin replied, pulling her back towards the door. “We have a dance to finish.”
“What do you think’s going on back there?” JC asked Bridget, his knee impatiently bobbing up and down.
“I dunno, wanna go look?”
“You will do no such thing,” a voice came from behind them.
“How does he do that?” JC mumbled.
“C’mon Papa Costelloe, if it weren’t for us, they wouldn’t even be out there to begin with,” Bridget whined.
“I dunno,” Sean smirked. “Looks to me like they would have worked it out eventually.” He pointed toward the kitchen door.
JC and Bridget followed his point to where Justin was leading Regan to the dance floor, just as the up-tempo sounds of Frank Sinatra’s “At Long Last Love” uncoincidently started to come over the speakers.
“So,” Bridget started, looking to JC, “ya think?”
“Oh definitely,” JC nodded, regarding the dancing couple with a knowing grin. “Look at that body language.”
Almost as if on cue, Justin twirled Regan around and planted a playful but unmistakably boyfriendly kiss on her lips.
“Oh yeah, they’re together,” JC and Bridget declared at the same time.
“So Sean, gonna go give Justin the ole’ Costelloe ‘Welcome to the Family’?” Bridget winked.
“What have I told you about counting your chickens, lass,” Sean threw back.
“Oh, you never have because every time you start to say that, I say ‘Papa Costelloe, I don’t live on a farm,’ and you say ‘It’s a metaphor, Bridie,’ and I say ‘A what-a-phor?’ and you say ‘Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, girl, you’re an English teacher,’ and I say ‘Yes, but I’m a New York City Public School teacher,’ and then you usually just give up.”
“Now I remember why,” Sean groaned. “Behave, kids.” With that he walked off to find Mike to tell him for the thousandth time that he’s married a lunatic, leaving the smug best friends to bask in the glow of their victory.
Across the room, Frank’s voice dissolved into Stevie Nicks as the DJ busted out with “Edge of Seventeen”.
“You planned that,” Regan accused as they left the dance floor.
“Yeah, so?”
“So what were they going to play if I ran from you screaming?”
“Well, that wasn’t a possibility,” Justin shrugged.
“Is this the cocky pop star rearing its ugly head?"
“Well, I figured I’d let you see the dark side while you stll had time to run away screaming,” he chuckled.
“Good thing,” she poked his ribs.
“Nah, but there really was no song contingency plan,” he said as they sat down at an empty table. “Except maybe me singing the blues,” he added with a grin.
“Oh my God,” she mumbled.
“What? It wasn’t that cheesy,” he laughed before realizing she was looking over his shoulder.
“Oh my God,” she said louder, a confused smile spreading over her face.
“What?” he asked, turning in his seat. He still couldn’t tell what she was ”oh my god”-ing about.
She leapt up from her seat and took off across the room, leaving Justin completely bewildered at the table.
“What’s going on?” JC asked, approaching his friend.
Justin stood from the table, his eyes following Regan. “I don’t know, she just…” His voice trailed off as he saw her leap into the arms of a girl who was standing in the doorway.
“Who’s that?” he asked JC.
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen her.”
“It’s not her mother is it?” Justin asked, remembering the stories Regan had told him about her mom popping in and out of her and Mike’s lives.
“Nah, I’ve met Mia,” JC shook his head. “Plus that girl doesn’t look much older than Regan.”
“Oh,” Justin shrugged.
“So,” JC started, a wicked smile forming on his face. “What’s the story?”
Justin didn’t answer nor did he take his eyes off Regan, but the wide grin plastered on his face said it all.
“Congratulations, man,” JC laughed, slapping him on the back.
“Thanks,” Justin nodded. “We still haven’t talked about any of the tough stuff yet but we’re gonna give it a try.”
“Give what a try?” Bridget smirked, approaching the two, knowing full well what they were talking about.
“Me and Regan,” Justin beamed.
“You and Regan, what?” Mike demanded, joining the group as well.
“Um, I…” Justin didn’t know quite what to say. Mike didn’t seem too pleased.
“Relax, young squire,” Mike laughed, breaking his stern exterior. “After what you did for her tonight, even I can’t be pissed about this.” He extended his hand to Justin who took it, very relieved not to be on Mike’s shit list.
“Hey Mike,” JC spoke up. “Do you know who that is?” He pointed to the blonde young woman, Regan was leading their way.
“Holy shit,” Mike laughed.
“It must be a family thing,” Justin quipped after Mike failed to elaborate after a long pause.
It didn’t matter. Regan and her companion finally made their way to the newly gathered group.
“Michael!” the blonde called, bounding into Mike’s arms. Mike picked her up and spun her in small circle.
“Hey kiddo! Long time no see!”
“Okay, will someone please clue the rest of us in,” Justin spoke up.
“Oh, sorry guys,” Regan laughed as Mike set the blonde on her feet. The girl smiled warmly as Regan introduced her. “This is our cousin, Finn. Finn, this is JC, Justin, my boyfriend," she blushed, "and this is Bridget, Mike’s wife.”
Finn greeted and shook both Justin and JC’s hands before pulling Bridget into a hug. “It’s so awesome to finally meet you!”
“You too,” Bridget said, looking to Mike, having no idea who this girl was.
“Bridg, remember I told you about my cousin who got kicked out of boarding school for protesting the lack of funding for girl’s sports by freezing the varsity football equipment with liquid nitrogen?”
“Holy shit! This is the cousin who wrote her senior thesis in Philosophy and whether or not the thesis actually existed and still graduated? Oh my God, I’ve wanted to meet you for so long!” Bridget laughed, pulling Finn in for another hug.
“I had no idea I was so legendary,” Finn chuckled.
“Bull,” Mike blurted out. “You don’t do anything if it doesn’t further the legend, girl.”
“Fine, but let no one say I didn’t at least attempt to be modest,” Finn shrugged.
“Hey, what is this? The VIP section?” Grace cracked as she approached the group.
“Hey Grace, I want you to meet my cousin, Finn,” Regan said.
“Finn? Like a fish?”
“Finn as in Finnley,” the blond corrected.
“So what’s you’re first name?” Grace continued as JC wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
“You’ll have to excuse her, Finn,” JC started. “She’s in PR… she’s terminally nosey.”
“That’s okay,” Finn shrugged. “Unfortunately the more people I tell the more I have to kill, so your outta luck, Grace.”
“I know,” Regan taunted as Justin came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
“Me too,” Mike jumped in.
“Okay, so I can’t kill family, but you both know how imaginative I can get with paybacks,” Finn grinned evilly.
“Yeah, yeah,” Mike coughed. “So what are you doing here, anyway?”
“Wait! Don’t’ change the subject,” Grace protested. “Now I have to know!”
“Gracie, I think it’s time we took a stroll around the dance floor,” JC laughed, pulling a slightly inebriated, protesting Grace away from the group.
“Yeah, they’re not dating,” Bridget said with a sarcastic laugh.
“But we are,” Regan grinned, resting her head back on Justin’s chest.
“Yeah, like I didn’t know that either,” Bridget scoffed.
“Hey!” Regan protested.
“Whatever, like you could ever keep anything from me, anyway,” Bridget laughed, before she noticed the little bundle of curls running their way. “Uh oh, here comes trouble.”
“Mommy!” Maeve giggled, jumping into her mother’s arms.
“Hey piglet, you having fun?” Bridget asked, pecking her daughter’s forehead.
“Uh huh!”
“Oh my God, is this your little girl?” Finn grinned.
“Well, we’re not exactly sure she’s not the spawn of Satan, yet, but yeah, we’re raising her,” Mike laughed, tugging on a red curl and making his daughter giggle. “Mae, this is your cousin, Finn.”
“Hi,” she smiled shyly, burying her head in her mother’s shoulder.
“It’s nice to meet you Maeve,” Finn said shaking the little girl’s tiny hand.
“Okay, so back to my question,” Mike said. “What are you doing here? Last I heard you were in Seattle.”
“Yeah, I was working at a radio station there but I found it intellectually unsatisfying,” Finn said as they all took a seat at a nearby table. “So know I’m just rambling around. New York was just the next stop so I figured I’d look ya’ll up. The restaurant was my only point of departure so… Here I am.”
“You’re rambling around? What does that mean?” Regan laughed.
“I’m just figuring out where I want to settle down. Oh my God! Regan, Regan, Regan!!”
“What, what, what!”
“We should totally room together! I could stand settling here for a while. What do you say?? You could finally move out of Mike’s!”
“Finn, catch up, babe. I’ve been living on my own for over a year, now,” Regan laughed. “But I’m glad to see that impulsive streak hasn’t deteriorated with age.”
“Scuse me, my little Irish lassy, I’m only 22. I realize that may be ancient to those who haven’t cleared their teens yet but, I’m NOT old,” Finn laughed.
“Oh, pardon me,” Regan smirked. “Anyway, why would I want to live with you? You were always getting me into trouble.”
“Hey, just cause you have an overactive conscious, don’t blame me that you’d always confess to our misadventures.”
“Whatever, Finn. I never did get a thank you for keeping your name out of those confessions,” Regan accused playfully.
“Oh well, I’m sorry,” Finn chuckled. “But I will right now,” she continued rising from her seat. She flashed the table a wicked grin before turning and making her way to the DJ’s setup. She climbed up on the platform, whispered something to the DJ and then took the mic off his hands.
“Oh my God, what is she doing?” Regan cringed.
“Okay, boys and girls,” Finn announced. “This one goes out to my very favorite cousin and brandy new roommate, Miss Regan Costelloe.”
“Did you hear me agree to let her move in?” Regan asked Justin.
“I have a feeling that girl hears things this rest of us don’t,” he said planting a kiss on her cheek.
The song that began blaring out of the sound system elicited a loud groan from his new girlfriend.
“Oh no she didn’t go there,” Regan buried her head in Justin’s as Debbie Gibson’s voice continued to belt out the old 80’s hit with Finn singing along into the mic.
“I don’t get it,” Justin laughed.
“And you never will,” Regan asserted as she watched her cousin bounce up and down on the DJ platform. As if she didn’t have enough to worry about.