"Watch out!
You nearly broadsided that car!" my father
yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the
elderly man in the seat beside me, daring to challenge him. A lump rose in
my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.
"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm
driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than
I really felt. Dad glared at me then turned away and settled back.
At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to
collect my thoughts. Dark heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of
rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What
could I do about him?
Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed
being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces
of nature. He had entered rueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed
often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to
his prowess.
The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a
heavy log, he joked about it, but later that same day I saw him outside
alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased
him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done
as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack.
An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR
to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an
operating room. He was lucky, he survived.
But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He
obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of
help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors
thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small
farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.
Within a week after he moved in I regretted the invitation. It seemed
nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became
frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We
began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and
explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly couseling
appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to
soothe Dad's troubled mind, but the months wore on and God was silent.
A raindrop struck my cheek. I looked up into the gray sky. Somewhere
up there was "God". Although I believed a Supreme Being had
created the universe, I had difficulty believing that God cared about the
tiny human beings on this earth. I was tired of waiting for a God who
didn't answer. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.
The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called
each of the mental health clinics listed in the yellow pages. I explained
my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just
when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I
just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article!"
I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a
nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic
depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were
given responsibility for a dog.
I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a
questionaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of
disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each
contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly hared dogs, spotted
dogs, all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected
one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much
hair.
As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner
struggled to his feet, alked to the front of the run and sat down. It was
a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature
of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray.
His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that
caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.
I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?".
The officer then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny
one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him
in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks
ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.". He gestured
helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You
mean you're going to kill him?"
"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't
have room for every unclaimed dog." I looked at the pointer again.
The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him, " I
said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I
reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of
the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
"Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I exclaimed
excitedly. Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had
wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better
specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it!" Dad waved
his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.
Anger rose inside me. It spueezed together my throat muscles and
pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad, he's
staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I
screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his
sides. his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.
We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the
pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down
in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw. Dad's lower
jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the
anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees
hugging the animal.
It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named
the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community.
They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective
moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. The even started
to attend Sunday servies together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying
quietly at his feet.
Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years.
Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late
one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through
our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke
Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed,
his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the
night.
Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered
Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag
rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing
hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given to me in
restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. "This day
looks like the way I feel", I thought as I walked down the aisle to
the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad
and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It
was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life.
And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2
"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for by so doing, some
have unwittingly entertained angels."
For me, the past dropped into place completing a puzzle that I had not
seen before; the sympathetic voice that had just read the right
article...Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter...his
calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father...and the proximity of
their deaths. Suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my
prayers after all.