With A Little Help...

by the diggler

Warnings: This fic is a YAOI lemon [has explicit boyxboy homosexual content, FOR ADULTS ONLY]

A/N: This is one of those fics where homosexuality is an issue, in fact it's kinda the whole point of this fic. And Rukawa may seem a little OOC also, but he's older, it's explained. Anyway, this was actually the first MitRu fic I ever started writing, but it became so long and involved that I ended up finishing a bunch of other MitRu fics first ^^;

Disclaimer: Slam Dunk and related characters are the property of Inoue Takehiko et al. Title inspired by rock classic "With A Little Help From My Friends."

~

Eight ball in the pocket.

Damn.

Oh well.

Mitsui sighed. Turning down the offer for another game he returned to his seat next to his companion. In truth he didn't really mind losing tonight, he had only played for lack of something better to do anyway.

Mitsui sighed again as he looked around the bar. Nothing much was going on. It was one of those really slow nights when the pool was average and the soundless images playing on the TV were more interesting than what was happening around you. He should probably head home soon. He had class tomorrow anyway. Well, not like that ever stopped him from staying out late before, but he was already in his last year of University, and he liked to think that he'd developed some sense of responsibility.

Feh. Truth was, he just wasn't in the mood. He hadn't been for a long time. Not since he broke up with his last boyfriend-- but he was through dwelling on that already. Fact was, he just didn't feel like being in the scene anymore.

Speaking of the scene, Mitsui's eyes landed on a table full of girls sneaking glances and giggling in his direction. Well... more in his companion's direction, but as usual the raven-haired boy was oblivious. Actually, if it was possible, he seemed even more oblivious than usual.

"Oi Rukawa, you've got another fan club going over there."

The younger boy glanced over in the direction Mitsui was indicating, but less than a second later returned his eyes to the beer bottle he was so intently peeling the label off of. Mitsui raised an eyebrow at the reaction, or rather, lack of reaction. It was only from knowing the other boy so well that he was able to see the frown on his lips.

"Not interested?" Mitsui prodded.

Rukawa didn't reply, his frown turning a fraction deeper.

Mitsui's brows furrowed in concern. The girls seemed attractive enough... and since high school, Rukawa had learned some social skills, even managing to make decent small-talk, so he had never been short of dates or girlfriends... But now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Rukawa with a girl in a while. In fact, the raven-haired boy hadn't even bothered to give a girl a chance since his last breakup. He also hadn't been going out much either, preferring to hang out at home and watch TV... Could it be that the other boy's last breakup was more difficult than he let on?

Maybe he should talk to Rukawa. He'd been through a painful breakup in the past too, so maybe he could help somehow. After all, whenever he felt like ranting or whining, Rukawa always had a ready ear... mostly because he didn't talk much. But when he did, the few words he said counted. He cut right through the bullshit and usually managed to make everything more clear.

Heh. Sometimes it made him feel like Rukawa was the older of the two, but he would never stop thinking of Rukawa as 'the younger boy'... the boy he had befriended and helped come out of his shell... the boy who looked up to him and he respected in return... the boy he had grown close to over the years and now considered to be one of his best friends...

Well... he wasn't going to force Rukawa to talk, especially not here. He knew Rukawa would talk when he was ready, and he would be there to help him any way he could.

"Hey Rukawa, I'm gonna head home after this drink. You ready to go?"

The younger boy nodded.

**

Mitsui looked up at their apartment building as Rukawa got out of the cab. The building was close to campus, and rent was pretty cheap, so a lot of students lived there. It made sharing the cab fare after nights out a lot easier, and it also meant there was usually a party going on somewhere at any given time. Right now there was one going on right above their heads, the sounds of loud music and chatter filtering down from the third floor balcony.

Uninterested, Mitsui headed towards the building entrance. Maybe some other time he would've gone to check it out, but not tonight. And one glance at Rukawa was enough to tell him the other boy wasn't interested either.

"Hey Rukawa, I'm not tired yet, wanna hang out at my place for a while?" he asked the raven-haired boy. Rukawa nodded.

They climbed the steps in silence, the sounds of the party echoing through the stairwell. The noise grated at Mitsui, and although he didn't want to go to check it out, he was suddenly glad he wasn't going home to an empty apartment either.

When they got to his flat Rukawa headed for his usual position on the couch while Mitsui went to grab some beers out of the fridge. Rukawa nodded his thanks as Mitsui handed him his drink, took a swig, then resumed his label-peeling mission.

Instead of turning on the TV like he usually did, Mitsui left it off, sensing that now would be a good opportunity to let Rukawa talk if he wanted to. Sure enough, after a few minutes of drinking in comfortable silence, Rukawa sighed, and finally spoke.

"Mitsui, I have a problem."

"Yeah I could tell something was bothering you."

The younger boy turned to look at him, his expression both surprised and miffed that he'd been so obvious to the other boy. Mitsui laughed and shook his head in amusment.

"Okay, tell me about it..." he encouraged.

Rukawa's brows came down just slightly as he looked down at his bottle.

"I don't understand women."

"Who does?" Mitsui snorted.

The raven-haired boy glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it." Mitsui grinned. "Go on, what is it you don't understand?"

Rukawa sighed again.

"I don't know... everything."

"You gotta start somewhere man."

Rukawa paused.

"I can't get close to them." he said.

"But... you've had girlfriends before..."

"It's never lasted." Rukawa replied.

"Well, yeah... I noticed that. I thought it was because you got bored easily or something."

"Yeah, sort of."

"Well maybe you haven't found the right girl yet." Mitsui offered.

"I think it might be more than that."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't know how I got into those relationships in the first place. I think it was mostly physical... but even then... that wasn't so great either."

Mitsui was slightly taken aback, but remained silent as the other boy continued to explian.

"It didn't feel right, it was like it should have been better somehow. And after, I started to feel..." Rukawa struggled.

"Empty?" Mitsui supplied.

"Yeah." Rukawa frowned. "And I think because of that I started to close off... So I couldn't get close, not the way people should be close. And I'm starting to think that... I'm not supposed to."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I'm starting to think… that maybe… I'm not supposed to be with women."

Mitsui nearly choked on his beer.

"Rukawa..." he said almost chidingly, "Really, maybe all you need is a girl that you really care about. Maybe then you won't feel closed off, and then everything else will be better. Not the other way around."

"But... what if I do find someone I care about, and it still ends up the same?" Rukawa said.

"That could happen, yes." Mitsui replied honestly.

"I don't want it to. I'm tired of feeling this way. I need to do something about it. I need to know... if it's a physical problem, or if it's just me, if it's just that I can't let myself be close to anyone." At that point Rukawa looked back down at the floor, his brows more knotted than Mitsui had ever seen.

"Geez Rukawa... that's really a tough dilemma, I don't know what to say..." Mitsui said, at a loss.

Several minutes passed before Rukawa spoke again.

"Can you... help me?"

"You know I'll do whatever I can Rukawa-kun. I'm here for you, just tell me what you need."

"No, Mitsui..." Rukawa said turning to look at him. "I mean, can you... ‘help’ me."

For a second Mitsui was still confused, then it finally dawned on him what Rukawa was asking.

"You mean, you want ME to sleep with you?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes... No.... I don't know." the raven-haired boy stammered, "I mean, I may not be able to go that far... I don't know how I'd react if you just kissed me."

"I don't know how I'd react if I kissed you! I mean this is... pretty fucking out there!" Mitsui exclaimed.

"I know." Rukawa said quietly.

"Look, I understand what you're trying to do… I mean, I get that this is the only way for you to know… but why me? I could fix you up with one of my friends--" Mitsui trailed off as Rukawa threw him a look which said that was out of the question.

It suddenly occurred to Mitsui that Rukawa probably couldn’t do something like this with a complete stranger. He needed someone he knew and trusted and was comfortable with. Someone who really understood what this was about. And as soon as he realized this, he also realized that he really was the only one that could do this for the other boy.

Mitsui's brows furrowed as he finally understood what Rukawa needed from him, but he was still slightly shell-shocked at what the raven-haired boy was asking.

"Also... I thought that... maybe we could help each other out. I mean, I know you haven't been with anyone in a while either..." Rukawa said.

This was true. After his last boyfriend had broken up with him he'd had a few one night stands... but he'd lost interest in that real fast.

"Unless... you don't think you can bring yourself to be with me..." the other boy said softly.

"No no Rukawa, that's not it. I mean, to tell you the truth, I've thoughts about it before..." he confessed.

Rukawa smirked slightly.

"I know."

"What? How?!" Mitsui exclaimed.

"You get flirty sometimes when you're drunk." Rukawa replied.

"A-hahaha! Gomen!" Mitsui replied sheepishly.

"It's ok... you haven't been that way lately. Not since-- well, you were happier then."

Mitsui was quiet again. Those were happier times. He hadn't had that much fun in a while. Hadn't even thought of anyone in a sexual manner, for merely flirting or more. Maybe Rukawa was right. Maybe this might be something he needed too. But the consequences…

Mitsui sighed.

"I want to help you Rukawa-kun, but are you sure this is the way? I mean, things could get wierd between us..."

"I know. But I'm sure we would eventually be okay again." Rukawa replied assuredly.

Mitsui paused, flattered by Rukawa's confidence in the strength of their friendship, but he still felt grim about the situation. This was all happening so fast, and it was such a huge responsibility... If he was going to do this, he was going to have to do it properly... He was going to have to go slow, be careful, absolutely selfless, and give it his all, no holding back. It was a lot to ask of him, especially since he hadn't been in a sexual mindset for such a long time, but he also knew that he really was the only one who could help. And the fact that Rukawa trusted him enough to do this, only made him want to help even more.

Mitsui glanced over at the younger boy. Rukawa was chewing on his lip as he awaited a response, and Mitsui saw a deeper desperation behind the uncertainty in the younger boy’s eyes. He got the feeling this was something that had been plaguing Rukawa for a while now. Mitsui's gaze softened, his heart going out to the boy.

Slowly Mitsui slid across the couch, seating himself closer to the raven-haired boy. He raised his hand, tentatively cupping Rukawa's cheek, and the other boy's eyes widened.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" he asked.

Rukawa nodded. Mitsui took a deep breath.

"Okay then. If you want to stop, at any time, just tell me ok?" he said.

Rukawa nodded again, eyes still wide.

"Close your eyes, and just try to relax." Mitsui whispered soothingly, leaning closer.

Rukawa nodded again, then did what he was told, closing his eyes and leaning back stiffly on the couch. Mitsui slid his hand down to the boy's neck and felt the pulse there racing, echoing his own. Taking a deep breath, he slowly leaned forward, until finally his lips met Rukawa's.

He pulled back quickly, almost expecting the younger boy to deck him… but Rukawa was still frozen, his eyes closed and lips parted invitingly. Then the younger boy’s eyes popped open.

“That’s it? That was nothing.” he said, his brows furrowing.

Cautiously Mitsui leaned forward again, this time giving the younger boy a more solid kiss, his lips pressed against Rukawa's for much longer. The raven-haired boy did not protest, so he deepened the kiss, moving his lips a little and crossing the line from chaste to intimate. Rukawa neither punched him nor matched his explorations, but his lips remained pliant and soft against his, allowing him to continue.

Becoming breathless Mitsui finally had to pull away.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Rukawa nodded stiffly, his eyes still closed and his hands clenching tightly at Mitsui’s shirt. Mitsui started in surprise… when had that happened? He hadn't even felt Rukawa's hands moving. He frowned, slightly disturbed by this, when suddenly Rukawa drew in a deep breath, drawing his attention. Slowly the raven-haired boy opened his eyes.

"So… that didn't feel weird or anything? Didn't gross you out?" Mitsui asked.

Rukawa's brows furrowed in thought as he slowly shook his head.

"Do you want to continue?"

Rukawa looked up at him, his expression determined as he nodded slightly.

"Okay." Mitsui said, nodding as well. He took in another deep breath and leaned forward again.

Rukawa automatically leaned back and closed his eyes, lips parting slightly to accept him again. As before, Mitsui began soft, slowly massaging Rukawa's lips, until finally Rukawa responded, pressing back and molding against Mitsui. Their kisses became more wet, more open, until Mitsui finally slipped his tongue into Rukawa's mouth, softly touching the other boy’s. He felt the younger boy draw in a sharp breath of surprise, but Rukawa did not pull away. Instead the younger boy began to respond, their tongues slowly massaging each other and exploring the feel of each other.

Mitsui nearly sighed in content. It felt so nice to be kissing someone like this again, softly and slowly. He felt Rukawa's arms wrapping around his back, clutching at the back of his shirt, and Mitsui's lips responded almost automatically to the encouragement, his kisses becoming more sensual, sucking and biting softly at the younger boy's lips. Rukawa moaned low in his throat, matching Mitsui's intensity and responding with lips just as demanding.

When Mitsui finally pulled away he felt more than a little dizzy, and not just from lack of air.

"Wow…" Mitsui breathed, "You're… a really good kisser."

"So are you." Rukawa replied softly. Mitsui opened his eyes fully, watching as Rukawa panted, catching his breath, his eyes still half-lidded... and before he knew it he was kissing Rukawa again.

This time his lips trailed to the raven-haired boy's ear, sucking and tasting the skin along his neck and jaw. He felt Rukawa's fists clench tighter at his shirt, breathing heavy in his ear, and his body began to react, playing out patterns that had been locked up for too long. Reaching down, he pushed his hand up under Rukawa's shirt and touched the other boy’s skin with the tips of his fingers. Rukawa’s breath hitched again, but there was still no protest as he continued to feel, his fingers splayed and exploring the skin of the younger boy's stomach and waist.

"Mitsui!" Rukawa gasped, squirming as Mitsui's fingers discovered a ticklish spot. Mitsui pulled back a bit, biting his lip as he took in the sight of the younger boy. Rukawa had sunk halfway down the couch already, as if instinctively wanting to lie down, his lids were still half-hooded, lips full and flushed, and a dark spot was already forming on his neck.

Mitsui was suddenly struck by the strangeness of his situation. This was one of his best friends! It seemed so wrong that they should be doing this, that Rukawa should be sporting a hickey that he had made… looking flushed and breathless because of him.

Or did it?

He couldn't deny that he had always thought Rukawa was attractive, he would have to be blind not to appreciate the other boy's beauty… And so he flirted a little when he'd had too much too drink. That was just because Rukawa had been such a looker, and it was just his nature to flirt when he was feeling giddy... but it had never been serious. Well, if he was completely honest with himself, maybe a small part of him had hoped there would be a chance, but he knew the other boy was straight, and he was taken at the time as well anyway. But now… now… Now he could openly appreciate Rukawa's beauty, and let himself feel all the things that came with that attraction… now Rukawa was offering himself… and it was all so strange and surreal… He'd never seriously dared to imagine this would ever be possible. It was just too far removed from his reality. And he could be sure that it was probably even more strange for the other boy.

"Rukawa…" he started. The raven-haired boy opened his eyes, looking up at him. "Are you really really sure about this?"

Rukawa frowned.

"I have to know…" the younger boy replied softly. "This is the only way."

Mitsui nodded.

"Then maybe we should move… to the bedroom." he suggested.

Slowly, Rukawa nodded.

Awkwardly they pulled away from each other, standing up off the couch and making their way to Mitsui's bedroom.

It was darker inside, but once their eyes adjusted, they could still see fairly well from the streetlight coming through the window, casting the room in a sort of blue glow. Mitsui felt something shift in the atmosphere as they entered the room, the dim lighting making the room seem dreamlike… not real… which suddenly made a lot more things possible.

It seemed Rukawa realized this too, standing stiff by the door, staring at the bed.

"Hey…" Mitsui said softly. Rukawa's head snapped up, something like panic flashing in his eyes.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do ok?" Mitsui said, "Just tell me what you want, or what you don't want. You're in control here."

Rukawa didn't say anything, his eyes drawn back to the bed.

"I'm going to do everything I can to help you, but for this to really work you have to be completely honest with what you want, honest with me, and more importantly, with yourself. So if you don't want to do this, just say the word." Mitsui said softly. Rukawa looked back at him, slowly beginning to relax. Mitsui smiled softly.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Can you… Can you just kiss me again?" Rukawa asked. Mitsui grinned. Slowly he stepped forward, carefully wrapping one arm around Rukawa's waist, his other hand cupping the boy's cheek. Leaning forward he kissed the other boy gently, and it wasn’t too long before Rukawa began to respond again, deepening the kiss.

"You alright?" Mitsui checked, pulling back for air.

Rukawa nodded, eyes closed.

"Do you want to move to the bed?" Mitsui asked.

Rukawa was still for a moment, and then he nodded his head almost imperceptibly.

"Ok Rukawa." Mitsui said as he turned to lead the other boy to the bed, but suddenly he felt awkward again, and he had an inkling why now.

"Wait." Mitsui stopped.

"What is it?"

"Um… Listen, can I call you Kaede?"

Rukawa threw him a puzzled look.

"It's just, it seems strange to be this formal with you now… now that I'm taking you to bed. You're not some stranger or something, I know you better than that."

Rukawa nodded, understanding.

"And maybe, maybe it'll be easier this way… to put aside what we were and become something else for the night... Kaede... and Hisashi…"

"I understand… Hisashi."

A tingle ran down his spine as the other boy said his name, and something clicked into place, banishing the feeling of awkwardness that had been plaguing him. Mitsui smiled. Now this could work.

Taking Rukawa’s hand, he led the other boy to the bed and sat down. Almost gingerly the raven-haired boy sat down next to him, avoiding his gaze and looking at the floor. Reaching up, he took Rukawa's chin, slowly turning and raising the other boy's face towards his again to lean close for another kiss. He started slow again, unsure if Rukawa was still uncomfortable now that they were on the bed, but his worries were completely banished as they easily molded to each other again, as they had on the couch, and it was only natural when they moved to lie down. Yet still Mitsui kept things slow, enjoying the soft connection of their lips and tongues, taking his time to explore the skin of Rukawa's oh-so-long neck. And as his mouth moved lower and lower, his hand made its way up to the buttons of Rukawa's shirt, undoing them one by one so his lips could continue their exploration downwards.

The other boy gasped as Mitsui's lips gently covered the small rosebud nipple there, kissing wetly and sucking softly until it was hard. He felt Rukawa's hand wind into the back of his hair, the younger boy’s back arching up as he began to roll the nub with his tongue, his fingers caressing the other uncovered bud. Then slowly he kissed his way to the other side of Rukawa's chest, parting the folds of his shirt wide to tease the bud that had been his fingers, adding teeth into his deadly combination. Rukawa yelped out loud, squirming beneath him, and Mitsui felt a brush of hardness against his hip.

Mitsui pulled back, looking down at the younger boy’s flushed face and darkened eyes. Rukawa was turned on. There was no denying that reaction.

Keeping his eyes on the younger boy’s face, Mitsui trailed his hand downwards, undoing the top button of Rukawa's jeans and slowly sliding the zipper down. Rukawa's eyes flew open in surprise, or panic, maybe both, but when his eyes connected with Mitsui's the momentary fear went away. His gaze remained transfixed as Mitsui continued, his hand making its way into Rukawa's boxers.

The other boy hissed as Mitsui's fingers brushed against his semi-hardness, and as Mitsui gripped him loosely Rukawa's eyes clenched shut at the touch. Mitsui tightened his grip a little, beginning to pump the other boy, and a low moan escaped Rukawa's lips. He continued stroking, coaxing precum out of the tip of Rukawa’s arousal, and the other boy’s hips squirmed as he held back the gasps trying to fight their way out of his throat.

Mitsui was inflamed. He was holding Rukawa in his hands and the other boy was responding like he'd never been touched before in his life. It was turning him on immensely.

He pulled his hand out of Rukawa's shorts and in one motion he pulled them down Rukawa's legs along with his pants, kneeling on the floor in between the other boy's legs hanging halfway off the bed. Leaning forward again he wasted no time, taking the boy's length fully into his mouth.

Rukawa cried out again, squirming and whimpering as Mitsui tasted his length, cupping his balls and massaging them. God Mitsui wanted to do more. He started to get hot, so turned on that he had pull back and unbutton his own shirt.

“Why are you stopping?” Rukawa gasped.

“I’m just holding myself in check.” Mitsui rasped throatily as he threw the shirt onto the floor. Rukawa collapsed back onto the bed with his head in his hand.

“You’re clearly not wierded out by this.” Mitsui commented. Rukawa opened his eyes again.

“Yeah, but, I’ve had women do that to me too…” he replied.

“That’s a good point.” Mitsui replied. “Maybe we should try something different.”

Getting up Mitsui reached for his bedside drawer, rummaging around for a long-lost tube in its depths. Finally finding it, he held it up for the younger boy to see.

“I’m just going to do put some on my fingers ok?”

Rukawa’s throat moved as he gulped, then he nodded assent.

Mitsui unscrewed the cab off the tube, lubing his fingers as he returned to his position in between the other boy’s legs. He could practically see the muscles in Rukawa’s body tense in anticipation of what was coming.

“Just relax.” Mitsui cooed, massaging the inside of Rukawa’s thigh with his hand as he pushed the boy’s legs apart. Taking the other boy’s length into his mouth again, it wasn’t long before he felt Rukawa’s legs turn back into jelly. Then reaching up, Mitsui brushed his wet fingers lightly between Rukawa's legs, making his intentions clear. And when he stroked Rukawa’s hole the first time the other boy’s hips jumped in shock, but there was no protest. Then Mitsui stroked him again, and Rukawa gasped.

Mitsui continued stroking and teasing, showing Rukawa a whole new area of nerves that had never enjoyed pleasure before. And it seemed he was doing a good job, as Rukawa's legs reactively parted wider, his hips squirming endlessly as his moans became louder and more frequent. Mitsui could tell the boy was close. He pushed, his lubed finger sliding in with almost no resistance, and Rukawa cried out in pleasure. Mitsui put in another finger, slower this time as Rukawa had to relax even further to let him in, which he did. And then he began to thrust his fingers slowly in and out of the boy as he sucked, Rukawa's cock twitching against his lips as the other boy began moaning with abandon. Soon enough Mitsui felt the spurt come through Rukawa's length, and he swallowed him through the climax, his fingers thrusting deep inside.

Mitsui pulled back, gazing down at the younger boy. Rukawa had his arms flung over his face, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. Slowly Mitsui pulled out his fingers and Rukawa’s body shuddered in response to the movement. He stroked Rukawa's thighs lightly, soothing him as the younger boy regained his breath… and perhaps his sanity.

"Are you alright?" Mitsui asked softly.

He saw the other boy nod his head under his arms. Climbing up onto the bed Mitsui lay down alongside him, waiting. Finally Rukawa pulled his arms away and looked up at him. His brows furrowed and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t, instead looking down at Mitsui's chest. Mitsui frowned.

"Did you like that?" he asked. And he wondered that he suddenly desperately wanted the other boy to say yes.

But Rukawa didn't respond for a few moments, leaving Mitsui’s stomach in a knot of anticipation.

Finally the other boy nodded.

"Does… does that mean I'm gay?" Rukawa asked quietly.

Mitsui was taken aback by the question, suddenly remembering how they'd gotten into this situation in the first place, and the gravity of the issues involved.

"Well, honestly, I don’t know. I mean, apparently there are a lot of straight guys who like that…" Mitsui answered.

Rukawa frowned in thought.

"But I think the fact that you don't feel wierd about it says something." Mitsui continued.

Rukawa nodded again, taking in Mitsui’s words, but the boy still looked confused.

Then Rukawa looked up again, locking his gaze onto Mitsui’s, and Mitsui felt the other boy’s hands begin to roam across his body, exploring. The younger boy’s fingers lingered for a while over Mitsui’s chest, as if taking in the differences between him and the women he’d been with... Seemingly undeterred, Rukawa’s hands roamed lower, unbuttoning Mitui’s pants and reaching inside.

Mitsui shuddered, yelping as Rukawa’s fingers made contact with his length.

“What is it? Am I doing something wrong?” the younger boy asked worriedly.

“No, it's not that, it's just… no one's touched me like that in a long time.” Mitsui explained.

“Do you want me to stop?” Rukawa asked. Mitsui shook his head.

Reassured, Rukawa continued his exploration, but this time with his lips as well, trailing kisses from Mitsui’s neck down to his stomach, and further.

“Kaede…” Mitsui said throatily, “you don’t have to do this for me you know.” Rukawa stopped, looking up at him.

“I know.” he replied, “But I want to.”

“Ok.” Mitsui nodded, assenting. The next moment he felt Rukawa’s lips on his long-ignored hardness, wet tongue massaging his heated skin. Mitsui gasped in pleasure, his hands running through Rukawa’s hair encouragingly. The other boy continued to explore with his lips, moving across Mitsui’s length and eventually downwards, mouthing his testicles in exploration as well. Mitsui threw his head back, clutching at the sheets in agony.

“Kaede…” he moaned, fighting not to beg. Luckily he didn’t have to, as the next moment the raven-haired boy engulfed Mitsui’s length deep into his mouth.

“Ah!” Mitsui shouted as wet warmth closed around him. And then Rukawa began to suck him, starting a steady rhythm up and down his cock.

Mitsui writhed on his bed, overwhelmed by sensations he had almost forgotten and amazed at how well Rukawa was bringing them all back to him.

That on top of the time he had spent ignoring his own needs for Rukawa’s, and it didn’t take long before he felt his climax spurting into Rukawa’s mouth.

He collapsed back onto his bed, gasping as he tried to regain his breath. When he finally recovered himself he looked over at the other boy, who was now lying alongside him, looking thoughtful.

“Hey” Mitsui crooned, stroking the other boy’s cheek in concern. “Did that feel weird for you?” Mitsui asked.

“It was a little bit weird, but not in a grossed out way.”

Mitsui nodded, understaning.

“Did... Did you like that?” Rukawa asked uncertainly. Mitsui grinned.

“Hell yeah!” Mitsui chuckled. “That was amazing. You're a super rookie all over again!” he teased.

A small, but pleased smile registered on Rukawa’s face.

Mitsui stopped grinning, becoming serious again.

“Thank you Kaede.” he said, leaning forward to kiss the other boy. Rukawa responded, deepening the kiss and pressing himself closer against Mitsui’s body.

And then Mitsui felt Rukawa’s length hardening again against his thigh.

Mitsui moaned, almost instantly feeling himself harden again in response.

He supposed his quick recovery was natural after being pent up for so long, but for whatever reasons he was grateful for it.

Before too long he and Rukawa were completely entertwined, rubbing slowly against each other and gasping for air in between kisses.

“Hisashi…” Rukawa breathed, “I want to do it with you.” the younger boy whispered hoarsely.

“What?” Mitsui stopped, pulling back so he could see Rukawa’s face clearly. “Are you sure?”

The other boy bit his lip and nodded, determination and need in his eyes.

“Do you... want to?” Rukawa asked.

“Yes.” Mitsui breathed, already closing the distance between their lips again. He began fishing around the bed sheets until he made contact with the discarded tube of lubrication. Not parting from Rukawa’s lips he deflty untwisted the tube and covered his fingers, and reaching down behind Rukawa’s legs he caressed the other boy gently.

Rukawa gasped, pressing himself closer against Mitsui as he lifted his leg higher and wrapped it around Mitsui’s waist, giving him better access.

As the younger boy relaxed against his touch Mitsui pushed his fingers inside once again, scissoring them as he rubbed inside the boy, preparing him. Rukawa groaned, his hips thrusting slightly in time with Mitsui’s rhythm. When Mitsui felt he could wait no more he picked up the lube again and reached down in between their bodies, covering himself until he was dripping wet and groaning at the stimulation.

“Hisashi…” Rukawa whispered hoarsely, bringing Mitsui's attention back to his lips. Gently Mitsui pushed the younger boy onto his back, settling himself on his knees as he parted Rukawa’s legs. Stroking the inside of Rukawa’s thighs he nudged himself against the other boy.

“Are you ready?” he asked, although he probably couldn’t have stopped himself at that point if he tried.

“Yes.” Rukawa hissed. “Hisashi!” he begged.

Mitsui needed to hear no more, slowly pushing himself into the other boy’s body.

“Ah!” Rukawa gasped as he was filled with Mitsui’s length, clenching and squirming around him.

Mitsui waited until he felt Rukawa grow accustomed to the sensation, and then very slowly he pulled out to thrust in again, setting a slow rhythm. He watched Rukawa’s face change from discomfort to pleasure as he moved, and soon the younger boy was pulling him down to mesh their lips together again, urging Mitsui to give him more.

And so Mitsui gave him more, taking in return the sight of Rukawa’s flushed cheeks, the feel of his soft lips, and the warmth of his body as he abandoned himself to pleasure.

Then suddenly the younger boy threw his head back, moaning even more loudly.

“Hisashi! I'm—-“ he gasped.

And with a strangled cry Mitsui felt the other boy coming in between their bodies.

Mitsui remained still, holding the younger boy until the shudders running through his body ceased.

“I’m sorry.” Rukawa gasped. “I didn’t know what to expect.” he apologized, embarrassed at the suddenness of his climax.

“It’s ok.” Mitsui replied. “I was caught by surprise my first time too.”

The younger boy nodded in response as he caught his breath, and Mitsui waited, giving him time to recover himself. Then slowly he pulled himself out of the other boy.

Rukawa’s eyes flew open.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m... Well... You’re finished.” Mitsui stammered, sitting back on his heels.

“But you’re not.” Rukawa replied, his eyebrows furrowing as he propped himself up on his elbows to look at him.

“Yeah well, tonight is about you, remember?” he explained.

“No.” Rukawa replied, getting up onto his knees in front of Mitsui. Wrapping an arm around Mitsui’s neck he pulled him close, kissing him as his other hand went down to finger Mitsui’s still hard cock. Mitsui hissed at the touch.

“Hey now…” warned Mitsui through clenched teeth.

“Tonight is supposed to be about you too, remember?” the younger boy said, firming his grip and slowly pumping him. “And if we keep going, I might come again. With you this time.” Rukawa whispered into his ear.

Mitsui groaned, and as Rukawa’s lips moved from his ear down his neck he stared to lose himself again.

“Turn around.” Mitsui hissed into the younger boy’s ear. Rukawa looked up at him again, kissing him one last time before letting go of his cock and turning around. Mitsui wrapped his arms around the other boy’s chest, pressing himself against Rukawa’s back and mouthing the younger boy’s neck.

“Hisashi…” Rukawa gasped as he felt Mitsui’s length rubbing against him. The younger boy reached behind him, guiding Mitsui forward. Mitsui needed no further urging, pushing himself back inside the younger boy with more ease than the first time.

Rukawa gasped as he was filled again, falling forward to the bed, and Mitsui leaned over him, reaching down to finger the boy’s length. The younger boy recovered quickly, hardening again in almost no time as Mitsui teased him and pulled at him with his fingers. And then Mitsui gripped him tight, pumping his fist in rhythm with his thrusts as Rukawa hooked an arm around the back of Mitsui’s neck and held on.

“Kaede…” Mitsui groaned, feeling his climax building as he thrust in earnest.

“Don’t stop Hisashi…” Rukawa gasped, urging him on.

And then Mitsui exploded, coming deep inside the other boy, and Rukawa responded, muscles clenching around him as he felt the younger boy spill over his hand.

Gasping, they fell forward onto the bed, Mitsui eventually pulling himself out of the other boy and collapsing onto his back as he tried to regain his breathing.

When Mitsui finally regained his senses and leaned over to check on Rukawa, the other boy was already asleep.

Of course. Mitsui laughed to himself quietly, shaking his head.

He settled himself more comfortably on his side so he could observe the sleeping boy better. Eventually that giddy post sex glow began to fade, and the silence began to press in.

Raising his hand, Mitsui ran his fingers lightly down the length of Rukawa’s spine. The other boy didn’t budge, sound asleep.

Mitsui sighed. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight at all, his mind awhirl with thought and emotion. Rukawa had given him a huge responsibility tonight, but also a great gift. And Mitsui hoped that Rukawa felt he had treated that gift with enough respect and appreciation to at least preserve their friendship.

Friends.

That concept just didn’t sit right with him anymore.

Mitsui sighed again as he continued observing the sleeping boy. Even though he didn’t think Rukawa would ever hate him, he didn’t know if he could handle the rejection if he asked for more from the other boy and he wasn’t willing.

But with a shock he realized another possibility to dread as well. What if he asked for more, and Rukawa gave it to him, not really knowing what he was doing? After all, the younger boy was really confused about things at the moment, and he might just go along with Mitsui’s wishes because he trusted Mitsui so much.

This was bad. After the night they had just spent together Mitsui wasn’t sure if he could trust himself to do the right thing, his newfound desires for the younger boy growing steadily with each minute. But Rukawa had trusted him. Trusted him as a friend to help him sort out his problems.

Mitsui cursed silently. Exercising an impressive amount of self-control he pulled himself away from the sleeping boy, getting out of bed. It was probably better if he wasn’t around at all when Rukawa woke up. But he couldn’t just leave things this way either.

After pacing around his room for a few minutes, his eyes landed on a notebook on his desk, and he was struck with an idea. Sitting down he began to write Rukawa a note.

Rukawa,

I'm sorry I had to leave. I would much rather be able to talk things through with you and help you sort the rest of this out, but at this point I think it's better if you sort the rest out on your own, because any advice I would give you from now on would probably be biased.

You see, you were right. I did need this, but not in the way you think. Last night I felt something that I hadn't felt for a long time. I felt that maybe I could start to care for someone again. You did that for me. And I don't want that to stop.

But I don't want to pressure you into anything, I know you have a lot of things you need to think about and you'll need some time. But I'll wait for you, and hope that maybe you might decide that we could have something together.

If not, I understand. If anything, I'm glad that I could help you last night, and I will always remember it as something special. And Thank You, for helping me too.

Yours,
Mitsui

or Hisashi. That's up to you.

Mitsui scribbled the last line as an afterthought. Finally looking up from his notebook he noticed the sun starting to rise through his window. He supposed he could start getting ready for class already.

He threw one last lingering glance at Rukawa’s sleeping form on his bed. He knew if he went anywhere near the boy now he would never be able to tear himself away, so with a resigned sigh he forced himself to go take a shower instead.

* * *

Was that the doorbell?

Mitsui scrambled out of the shower, hastily wrapping a towel around himself and running for the door as fast as he could without slipping and killing himself.

“Yo!”

“Oh. Kenji. It’s just you.”

“Don’t sound so excited to see me.” Fujima snarked sarcastically. Mitsui stepped back to let the other boy into the apartment.

“Jesus Hisashi what have you been doing these past couple of weeks, this place is a mess!” Fujima said, taking in the piled up décor of pizza boxes and empty beer bottles.

“Is there something you want Kenji?” Mitsui sighed.

“I’m on my way out for the night, want to come? Get out of here for a while?”

“Um...” Mitsui bit his lip, his eyes glancing over at the phone. “Thanks but I’m not really in the mood for it.”

“Come on ‘Sashi you haven’t been out in ages!”

“Look, why don’t you help yourself to a beer while I finish my shower and we can talk about it after?”

“Fine.” Fujima pouted, heading to the fridge. Mitsui headed back to his bathroom. “Listen for the phone ok?” he called over his shoulder.

“Hai!” Fujima replied, rummaging amongst the empty pizza boxes for the bottle opener. He had just found it when the doorbell rang again.

“Rukawa-kun!” Fujima exclaimed as he opened the door.

“Where’s Mitsui?” Rukawa asked.

“Hello to you too! He’s in the shower.” Fujima replied, holding the door open to let Rukawa in. Rukawa frowned, entering the apartment hesitantly. At that moment Mitsui exited the bathroom in his boxers, toweling off his hair.

“Hey Kenji did someone call? I thought I heard—“ the rest of Mitsui’s sentence trailed off as he finally looked up and saw Rukawa standing there.

“Did I... come at a bad time?” Rukawa asked, glancing from Mitsui to Fujima. Fujuma laughed.

“No no! I was just about to leave, ne ‘Sashi?” he said. Mitsui didn’t say anything, still standing shock still and staring at the raven-haired boy. Fujima grinned at Rukawa as he walked past him towards the door.

“Now I get why he’s practically been sleeping next to his phone!” he snarked.

“O-Oi Fujima!” Mitsui exclaimed in embarrassment, finally snapping out of it.

“Ja ne!” Fujima called over his shoulder as he closed the apartment door behind him, leaving the two that remained in a very awkward silence. Finally Mitsui found his voice again.

“Hi.” he said.

“...Hi.” the younger boy replied.

“Um... Do you want a drink or something?”

Rukawa nodded. Mitsui headed towards the fridge.

“I’ve got beers, soda, 2 day old pizza—"

Abruptly his nervous rambling was cut off as the other boy pushed him up against the kitchen counter and kissed him. Taken completely off guard Mitsui barely had time to respond before Rukawa pulled away.

“I missed you, Hisashi.” Rukawa whispered. It took a second for Mitsui to register what the younger boy had just called him, and then he groaned, grabbing the younger boy and flipping him around against the counter as he kissed him like a starving man.

“Wait!” Rukawa gasped, pushing Mitsui away. Confused, Mitsui searched the younger boy’s face.

“I need your help with something.” Rukawa said.

“What’s that?” Mitsui replied, trying to catch his breath.

“As you know, I spent the night with a friend. Who is also a guy.”

“...And?”

“And I had a really good time.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Well for one thing, I can’t work out if it’s because I like guys in general, or if I just like this guy.”

“That’s a problem.” Mitsui said, his heart sinking as he thought ahead to where this train of thought was going.

“That’s not the problem.” Rukawa said. Confused, Mitsui searched the younger boy’s face.

“Then what is?” he asked. Rukawa looked down into Mitsui’s chest.

“The problem is I don’t wanna sleep with another guy to work it out. I just want this guy. He’s all I can think about since that night.” Rukawa paused, chewing at his lip as Mitsui stood breathless in anticipation.

“So I figure the only solution is to spend more time with this guy and see what happens.” the younger boy finished.

Rukawa looked up into Mitsui’s eyes again.

“I need to know what this is Hisashi.” he said softly.

Mitsui smiled.

“Ok, Kaede.” he replied, cupping the younger boys cheek in his hand. Rukawa gave him a small smile in return, assured.

Slowly this time, Mitsui leaned forward to kiss the younger boy again. He already had an idea what it was that made that night so special, but if Rukawa needed more time to explore what it was all about... well, that was just fine with him.

~ owari

I made a MitRu fanart ages ago which helped to inspire this fic, click here for it. It's probably my favorite one of my lame attempts at drawing :)

started '03 ~ completed Jan 7 '09

diggler's delirium