Time After Time ~ Act 4 & Epilogue
by the diggler
Warnings: This fic is a YAOI lemon [has explicit boyxboy homosexual content, FOR ADULTS ONLY]
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk and related characters are the property of Inoue Takehiko et al.
~
Scene 11
It had been a few months now that Rukawa had been staying with
him, and they had fallen into a sort of comfortable routine.
Every night he made up the couch for Rukawa to sleep on, but
every night the raven-haired man would slip into his bed with
him. He didn’t complain. Tortuous as it was to only be able
to hold the other man in his arms, it was winter, and he hated
the cold, and Rukawa was a welcome warmth. So every night he
would hold Rukawa close, hoping that the other man welcomed his
warmth just as much as he did.
But he never pushed it any further than that, and the next night he would make up the couch again, allowing Rukawa the option of having his own space, if he needed it.
But tonight Rukawa was quick to come to his bed, and when he took Rukawa in his arms the raven-haired man clung to him, gripping him tightly. Hanagata forced the other man to loosen his hold so he could examine his face, and found distress in the younger man's eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I saw Akira today.” Rukawa said quietly. “...With Koshino" he murmured, unable to look him in the eye.
"Oh Kaede…" he replied, his heart going out to the younger man as he brought his hand up to caress Rukawa's cheek in comfort. The raven-haired man looked up at him, his eyes welling with tears. Then suddenly Rukawa leaned forward, kissing him.
"Wait Kaede!" Hanagata gasped, pulling away.
"What? What's wrong? Don't you want this?" the other man replied frustratedly.
"Don't get me wrong Kaede, I want you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night we spent together... But I don't want this to be about revenge or forgetting, or anything like that. It's not like that anymore. I want to be with you because I want you. And I want you to be with me for me."
Rukawa frowned, biting his lip as his brows furrowed in confusion. Slowly the younger man pulled away, got out of the bed, and left the room.
Scene 5 ~ flashback
‘Hello?’
"..."
‘Hello?’
"..."
‘...Kaede?’
"...No."
‘…Oh. It’s you Hanagata. What is it?’
"…We're even"
‘...’
Hanagata enjoyed Sendoh’s stunned silence for a moment, then hung up the phone. He rubbed his face as he stood, leaving the crumpled yellow post-it with Sendoh’s number next to his half-empty bottle of vodka on the bedside table.
He knew he should have felt better... he knew he should have felt some sort of satisfaction after what he'd just done... After all, he had just conquered Sendoh’s ice prince. He had made Sendoh's little statue scream... and shake and tremble... and beg and curse and whimper.
Rukawa had resisted, he had bit his lip so hard trying not to moan that he’d drawn blood. And Hanagata had brought his own mouth down to force those bleeding lips open.
Yes, he’d had his revenge.
But he felt anything but pleased with himself as he stared at the younger man lying on the bed. Although Rukawa was sleeping soundly at the moment, Hanagata noticed the younger man was paler than usual, and guessed that Rukawa probably hadn’t slept properly for a long time. At least he had given Rukawa the comfort of sleep, if anything. But the thought hardly helped him feel any kind of resolution over the matter. In fact, as he sat there caressing Rukawa's smooth cheek, he found that his chest still ached with pain.
"Rukawa..." he whispered. But it felt strange calling the other man that now that they had shared such an unusual experience. He had been vulnerable with Rukawa in a way that he'd never been with anyone, and he'd seen a side of the younger man that he never guessed exsisted. The raven-haired man sleeping before him now seemed like a completely different person to the one he knew.
"Kaede..." he whispered. And although it felt right, it also brought back that ache of pain in his chest.
For some reason he wanted to wake the sleeping man up, just to see those eyes again... Eyes that had glared at him, defiantly daring him to take him harder, to push him to his limits and then break through them, disregarding all the boundaries he’d discovered in such a short space of time.
He could still hear Rukawa's moans in his ears…
He pulled his hand back, hissing as pain lanced through his shoulder with the motion. Looking down at the trail of dried blood on his chest, his fingers probed the teeth marks on his shoulder. Rukawa had bitten him, hard, right before he had thrown his head back and screamed, muscles clenching around him and bringing him to climax as well. Hanagata’s fingers followed the trail of blood down his chest, stopping at where it suddenly swiped sideways, where Rukawa had licked at him, tasting the blood he had drawn before he fell into a deep sleep.
Blood for blood. They had tasted each other, shared the essence of each other’s pain and wallowed in it. And now it was over. It should be over.
He should probably go, before the harsh light of day made everything he’d done even more real, before Rukawa woke up and started hating him...
He reached for the bottle of vodka by the bed, taking a swig. It no longer offered him comfort, too bitter to take, so he left it on the bedside table.
When he looked up again, Sendoh was standing in the bedroom doorway, taking in the scene presented to him in horror.
Hanagata left without a word.
Scene 12
Rukawa was gone. Really gone. Suitcase and all. In a daze
Hanagata went to the pile of neatly folded sheets lying on his
couch, and found a piece of paper sitting on top with
Rukawa’s messy handwriting on it
“Toru,
I need time.
Kaede.”
Was all it said.
Hanagata sat down on the couch, staring blankly at the short note.
It was for the best, he supposed. Rukawa needed to move on, really move on… And he couldn’t help Rukawa do that anymore, couldn’t be a crutch for him, not when his feelings for the younger man were getting in the way.
But what if Rukawa moved on, and decided he didn’t have the same feelings Hanagata did?
Hanagata hugged himself, suddenly feeling the cold more sharply now... Now that Rukawa was really gone.
~
"Hi! "
‘...Hello.’
"How are you?"
‘...Good.’
"...How are things with you and Sendoh?"
‘Good.’
"...That’s good."
‘...You?’
"I’m okay. Got a new place. It’s small but cozy. You should visit me sometime."
‘...’
"We were friends once Kaede, we still can be."
‘...’
"... So... How's the old flat?"
‘...Emptier.’
"No new flatmates?"
‘No.’
"Oh. Ok."
‘... Fujima seems happy with Hasegawa.’
"Oh... That's good to hear."
‘And you?’
"Uh, no I’m not seeing anyone. Not since... then."
‘...Hanagata...’
"I think you can call me Toru now."
‘...Toru.’
"... Kaede--"
‘I've got to go, sorry.’
"Oh. Ok then. Give me a ring sometime alright?"
‘Yeah. Seeya.’
~
EPILOGUE
He hated winter. It was cold, lonely, and it brought back
memories of a time when he had someone's warmth to share,
someone's warmth to stave away the chill. It made being alone
even harder, colder than it should be. And this winter looked
like it was going to be real cold.
Hanagata rubbed his hands together as he stood up off the park bench to head home. But he was halted in mid-step, seeing a familiar face heading in his direction.
“Hi.”
‘Sorry I was late.’
“It’s alright.” Hanagata replied.
‘I'm glad... that you waited.’ the raven haired man said as he moved closer, his gaze clear and strong and carrying deeper promises to his words.
Hanagata smiled. It looked like this winter wasn't going to be so bad after all.
~ owari
started '03 ~ completed Jan 7 '09