Release Me ~ Part 2
by the diggler
Warnings: This chapter contains YAOI lemon [explicit boyxboy homosexual content, FOR ADULTS ONLY]
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk and related characters are the property of Inoue Takehiko et al.
~
Monday night, Rukawa entered the locker room completely exhausted. He had put in a good, hard practice that day, remaining to train long after his teammates had gone home. But it still wasn't enough to get his mind off the events of last Saturday.
He had spent the whole weekend agonizing about what had happened with Mitsui, furious with himself for his utter wantonness and recklessness... and feeling immensely guilty towards the scar-faced boy's soft-spoken boyfriend…
Rukawa dreaded the thought of what would happen when he saw either of his sempai's again.
To his relief, Mitsui did not show up to practice. Of course Rukawa was troubled by this, but he knew it would have been harder had the scar-faced boy showed up and acted like nothing had happened at all…
Physically and mentally drained, Rukawa walked through the darkened room towards his locker in a daze, pulling off his sweat-drenched shirt and tossing it aside. He was just about to pull off his shorts when he heard a small sniffle nearby, and realized he wasn't alone. He turned in the direction of the sound, and saw a familiar back trembling with quiet sobs.
Rukawa's stomach dropped, wholly unprepared for this confrontation to be happening right now. But Kogure didn't even seem to know he was there, continuing to cry softly to himself while gripping the bench he was sitting on so tightly his knuckles were turning white.
Rukawa hesitated. He could've have walked away... should have… but his chest constricted in a familiar feeling of protectiveness for the bespectacled boy, making him want to reach out and hold the soft-spoken senior until his tears subsided. But then he remembered why his sempai was probably crying and angrily realized he had no right.
Well, he was going to have to face up to it sooner or later. Maybe he could still give some sort of comfort by offering himself up for any abuse he knew he deserved.
"Sempai?" he asked tentatively.
Kogure quickly wiped his face and turned.
"Rukawa-kun!" the older boy exclaimed in flustered surprise.
The two boys eyed each other nervously in the awkward silence that followed.
"Um... What are you doing here sempai?" Rukawa asked, holding his breath.
"Ah... I guess I just missed the place... wanted to remember... better times." the older boy replied, forcing a weak smile.
Rukawa was confused. Kogure didn't seem to be angry at him at all. So maybe Mitsui hadn't said anything about their encounter yet... But then why was his sempai so miserable? Suddenly his protective urges for the bespectacled boy returned and he ached to take Kogure in his arms.
But again he stopped himself, remembering that he had no right. Yet he couldn't just stand there and do nothing either.
"Daijoubu sempai?" he asked.
"Eh? Ie, it's nothing... gomen Rukawa-kun I didn't mean to bother you." the older boy said.
"It's okay. I don't mind." he replied. He walked over and sat down next to the soft-spoken senior, using every inch of his self-control to not reach out to the forlorn boy.
And then he wondered... If Mitsui hadn't said anything yet, why was Kogure here, crying alone in the dark, if he could do that in the arms of his boyfriend?
"Um... is everything okay with you and Mitsui-sempai?" he asked cautiously. Surprise momentarily flashed across the other boy's features again.
"So you know about us." the bespectacled boy said, almost resignedly.
"It was kind of hard not to notice the way you two used to look at each other." Rukawa said quietly.
"Yeah... used to look at each other." Kogure replied bitterly. "Lately... I don't know... since I left the team to focus on my final studies, we barely see each other anymore." The boy sighed, "We've been drifting apart for a while now... and..." Suddenly his sempai broke into tears again.
This time Rukawa could no longer resist, his arm creeping around his sempai's shoulder in an attempt to console him.
"Oh god... I think he's cheating on me..."
Rukawa tensed, but the older boy did not notice, continuing to tell his story in between sobs.
"Last Saturday we were supposed to go out to dinner for our anniversary, but he never showed up... He wouldn't answer his phone so I went to his house to check on him, and no one was home... so I waited for him... and he didn't come back until early in the morning... I asked him where he'd been and he said he was walking around all night... wouldn't say anything else... Then he asked me to leave so he could sleep... oh god... he couldn't even look me in the eye..."
Rukawa's chest constricted painfully. He desperately wished he could take Kogure's pain away, but how could he when he was the one that caused it in the first place?
"What happened? What if he doesn't want me anymore? What will I do then?"
Rukawa didn't know what to say. He didn't know if he was even capable of speaking if he did have something to say… He was too consumed with the feel of the older boy against his body… the trembling back under his arm… the sweet smell of shampoo… soft sobbing noises…
"Am I... so undesirable?"
It was just too much.
Trembling, he slowly turned to face his sempai. There was a desperate look in the boy's eyes, his lips quivering as tears streamed down his face...
Before he knew it he had reached up and taken off Kogure's glasses, tenderly wiping those tears away... and found himself drowning in the warm cinnamon depths of the older boy's eyes...
"You are very desirable." Rukawa whispered softly.
Kogure's breath hitched at the unfamiliar tone in Rukawa's voice, and his expression slowly changed, as if the older boy was seeing him for the first time.
Hesitantly he brought his hand up to caress his sempai's cheek... and found it to be smoother than he had ever imagined...
"I've wanted you for so long..." Rukawa admitted before he could stop himself.
The older boy gasped slightly, but didn't pull away.
Taking a deep breath, Rukawa slowly inched closer… His lips brushed against Kogure's... and found them to be infinitely softer than he had ever imagined...
Unable to help himself any longer he pressed his mouth to the other boy's again, firmly this time, and Kogure eyes fluttered closed, surrendering to his touch.
Moving his hand to the back of his sempai's neck, he wrapped his other arm around the older boy's back and gently pulled him closer. Kogure's cheeks were wet with tears, so Rukawa kissed them away, as if washing away his wrongdoing with each feather-light touch. The older boy sighed, wearily letting his head fall back, exposing more of his soft skin for Rukawa to worship.
Tenderly he trailed light kisses down the older boy's neck, and Kogure mewled softly in response, enticing him further. He began sucking gently at the juncture between neck and shoulder, massaging the soft flesh there with his tongue… and found a taste much sweeter than he had ever imagined...
The older boy's arms encircled him, wrapping around the heated flesh of his bare back, and Rukawa moaned against Kogure's neck at the touch. Pushing his hand under the older boy's shirt, he marveled at the soft velvet of the skin hidden underneath.
Kogure whimpered suddenly and Rukawa pulled back, watching the older boy's face contort as he caressed the sensitive spot he had found. And then he noticed the growing bulge in his sempai's pants… Quickly he reached down to undo the zipper, and slid his hand inside.
Kogure's initial yelp of surprise quickly turned to moans of pleasure as Rukawa expertly handled the older boy's hardening arousal. Then Rukawa tightened his grip, and watched his sempai with awe as the boy gasped and whimpered and thrust himself into his willing palm... with a responsiveness that he had never imagined.
He bent to plant reverent kisses on Kogure's eyelids, cheeks, lips, neck... reveling in the softness he found at every turn. But he pulled back quickly after each kiss, as the desire to see and remember every tiny movement, every expression that crossed his sempai's beautiful face, was too strong.
Then suddenly the older boy began to gasp louder, and Rukawa quickened his pace, bringing his sempai closer and closer until with one final agonized whimper the boy came into Rukawa's hand.
Slowly he withdrew his hand from Kogure's pants, tasted the precious fluid on his fingers.
The older boy was trembling, eyes closed and breath ragged as he came down from his climax.
And Rukawa knew that soon those eyes would open and the spell would be broken.
Taking a deep breath, he bent down to take one last taste of his sempai's lips.
The object of his obsessions opened his eyes, dazedly looking up at him. And then the older boy's focus sharpened abruptly, realizing what had just happened. Quickly pushing him away the older boy stood up, shakily zipping up his pants and putting his glasses back on. Rukawa watched him, resigned. He had expected this reaction, but that didn't make it any less painful.
"Gomen Rukawa-kun." Kogure said, unable to look him in the eye. And then the older boy left.
Rukawa looked down at his pants, in the crushing silence suddenly aware that he needed some attention himself. He slid his hand down his shorts, wrapping his fingers around his long-waiting hardness with a tired sigh. And as his hand instantly found its familiar rhythm, a familiar moan escaped his lips in the form of his sweet sempai's name.
But this time something changed. This time, instead of drawing on the images and sensations fresh in his mind, he began to envision an entirely new scene... Now he saw his sweet sempai running home to his boyfriend, begging the scar-faced boy to make love to him with desperation in his big brown eyes... And no one could resist those beautiful tears for long, no matter how guilty or undeserving they may be feeling... So the scar-faced boy would make love to Kogure all night long, over and over again... eradicating all traces of him from memory.
And with every thrust of passion that Rukawa wouldn't be making, a sharp stab knifed through his chest, until it was too painful to even breathe.
He withdrew his hand from his shorts, his heart not in it anymore. He let out one last deep sigh, and went to take a cold, cold shower.
completed Nov 17 '02 ~ revised July 9 '03