| What To Expect When You're Expecting I thought it was a joke, really. I thought it was this cruel joke and that someone pulled a switch on me when I went to get a drink. I mean, who'd have fucking thought it? I've never been so stunned to see two simple little lines. Ever. But there they were, bright and violet and staring right at me. I even think they may have been laughing at me. I just can't fucking believe it. Pregnant! I know that it's not all that out of the ordinary for guys to become pregnant. You have to posess this certain gene that allows you to conceive and you fucking grow a uterus like it's supposed to be there. I've worked hard on this body! I've been perfecting these ab muscles since I was 13! Now I'm gonna look like I fucking swallowed a watermelon and then I'll be all flabby after. And don't even get me started on the set of tits I'm bound to grow! Mom's got a rack and a half all thanks to me, so I'm just bound to get over a handful! And don't even talk to me about breastfeeding, this is weird enough as it is. I'm the one that's supposed to latch on to boobs and suck like it's my only nourishment! I just wish I knew when. How. Who would be nice to know, too. I mean, it's narrowed down to 5, that much I can say. How is kinda obvious, but shit, we used condoms for the most part. Yes, I know it only takes one time--I took sex ed in sixth grade. I mean, there are good parts about it. This kid will be talented as shit, not to mention absolutely fucking gorgeous. It's a good thing we announced that little break we plan on taking, and that this tour doesn't have that much in the way of big stunts and shit. Imagine explaining that me being knocked up is the reason behind it! We can't talk about the baby openly until we've determined who the other father is. Thankfully I write down who I fuck and when, so when the doctor gives me a date, I can figure it out from there. I kinda want it to be Lance. I'll admit it. Maybe even JC. I don't think I'd want it to be Joey's. I think that would be a little too weird, what with Brianna and all. Chris needs a kid soon, with his old ass, so that would be kinda nice. And then there's Wade, who's all but shit on me since the 'big break' between the group and his little company. I dunno, I shouldn't stress until I go to see a doctor I guess. How am I gonna tell my Dad about this? He had a hard enough time dealing with the fact that I was one of the rare candidates. I can't even imagine how Jon and Stevie will react either. "My brother's pregnant with twins!" Oh my God, Justin, don't do that. I should end this journal entry right now, though. I want some green olives and Chee-tos. Holy fuck, it's starting already. Till next time, where hopefully I'm a little more clear-minded and less hungry. And shit do I have to pee! Justin Next Back To Main Menu |