The Moment My World Crashed
By Debbie

Saturday March 4 2000
Mama has come for a visit. We are talking about Johnny and his problems and I told her " I hate to say this, but something horrible is going to happen to Johnny.

Thursday March 9, 2000
I talked to Johnny today. He sounded so good. Happy and upbeat. I tried to talk to him about going into a rehab but he insisted he didnt need to. "I'm alright" he said. "I am going to beat it this time. I dont want you down there worrying about me, I promise I am going to be alright. I love you baby."

Saturday March 11, 2000
Mama has brought Mema down for a visit today. I told her"Mama I know you dont like me to say this but something terrible is going to happen to Johnny. It's not a matter of if, its a matter of when, and I am afraid it's coming really soon.

Monday March 13, 2000
Today at work I was so nervous and agitated. I had a strong sense of foreboding. I felt as though I would scream if I couldnt get out of there!
I finally just walked out!

Tuesday March 14, 2000
I had an overwhelming urge to go home to Albany. I began making plans to go the coming Friday. The closer Friday got the stronger the urge became. The weather predicted severe thunderstorms so I decided to wait until the next morning to leave.

Saturday March 18, 2000...2:39 A.M.
The telephone rang. This was not unusual as my husband is a police officer and our phone often rings at night. I had become so accustomed to it that I could answer it in my sleep. But this was different. I dont know why. But for some reason I turned on the light and looked at the clock before answering it. A lady asked to speak to my husband. I knew it was not the police department because they always identify themselves but I did not ask who it was. I think I knew. His words were vague and I sat watching, desperately trying to read his face. Fearing the worst possible scenerio, that my premonitions had indeed came true. I asked him repeatedly if someone was hurt. He nodded yes. I said "It's Johnny." He again nodded yes. I knew the answer but I asked anyway. "He is dead isnt he?" After what seemed like a life time...he slowely nodded....yes.

My 34 year old baby brother Johnny was killed Friday March 17, 2000 at 10:56 P.M.

He was struck by a car while he was crossing a highway. It was ruled accidental but left many unanswered questions. I have been able to trace his footsteps up til 10:00 P.M. when he left two friends home with a third "friend." Apparently there was a disagreement between Johnny and this "friend" and for whatever reason Johnny got out of the vehicle and began walking back to his car.
He did not make it.

According to the "friend" that Johnny had once been roommates with, he had not seen Johnny in over a week and denies picking Johnny up at the first friends house. He does however admit to seeing Johnny lying in the road and not stopping. He has given three different versions of his story.

1) He went BACK to tell the first friends about Johnny but no one was home.

2) He went BACK and only one of them was there so he told him

3) He went Back and told both of them.

My question is HOW do you go BACK to somewhere you have NOT been?
Johnny was twenty miles from home. and his car was approximately 2two miles away. It was a dark area and he was on the opposite side of a five lane highway yet the "friend" admits he saw Johnny's face and KNEW he had been hit by a car and KNEW he was dead. He also admitted no emergency vehicles were there at the time he saw Johnny lying in the road.
This "friend" did not attend visitaion or the funeral. He offered to take a polygrapgh but never showed up. The investigating police officer said he is only guilty of being 'morally wrong" not criminally. He moved to another state and we have not heard from him since. I believe with all my heart this "friend actually saw the accident happen and just drove away leaving my brother in the road. The driver of the accident vehicle and strangers that stopped were more concerned about my brother than a "friend" of twenty five or more years!
Since Johnny was high on alcohol and crack at the time of the accident it was ruled his fault and no charges were filed against the driver.

Johnny and "Friend"	Accident Vehicle
Johnny's Boot	Funeral

UPDATE
June 25, 2001
Fifteen months and 9 days after the accident I finally spoke with the driver of the vehicle personally. He requested that I not use his name and I respect that. He was not charged with any wrong-doing and is as much of a victim of Substance Abuse as Johnny.
He is another innocent person who's life and the lives of his family have been forever changed.

Full of remorse he stated over and over "I am so sorry, I never saw him, I never saw him. He came out of no where" "My God I would have wrecked myself, I would have ran my car off the road before I hit him if I had only seen him, I was just going to work, thats all I was doing, I was just trying to go to work."
A very soft spoken man, he said he still has trouble driving on "that road" and in fact had been taking a longer route to work in order to avoid it.
He went on to say that although he no longer has nightmares about it that not a day goes by he doesnt think about it over and over. He went on to tell me how many times when he is sitting at his desk at work, or trying to watch TV with his family "I still hear it, I hear that sound, My God that sound."

So it's your body, you are not hurting anyone?

Thanks Karen!

The Music Playing is the Sound of Silence