without. Her vision invaded his mind every second of the day. He couldn't help think of how beautiful she was, how strong she was. Everything about her was special. That's why he loved her. But she didn't love him, not anymore.
He fucked up.
He knew it, but he didn't want to admit it. He hated being wrong and if he were he wouldn't admit it. He was a stubborn bastard who always had his say. He wanted to change. He really did, but he didn't know how. He was like a lost child. He didn't know what to do. He would lay in his bed, thinking of what he could do to make her things better.
'Maybe if I change she'll take me back…Maybe…Maybe she's better without me…' Maybe this. Maybe that. Nothing was going to work. Nothing. He felt lost with nobody to help him.
The first day he saw her in over two years, he immediately fell in love with her again. Her caramel brown hair, her hazel eyes, her tiny figure made him weak. No other woman had ever done that to him. He knew she was special. But something that special, he couldn't have.
He saw her in San Francisco on Pier 39. She was with a couple of her friends, walking in and out of stores. He was with Josh, just passing time until they had to leave for the next city tomorrow morning. He followed her into a store unnoticed. He stood no more than four feet away from her, listening to her voice, watching her body move, listening to her breathe. Unexpectedly, she turned around to walk out of the store and bumped into him. Her hazel eyes went blank and his body went frozen.
"Justin…" her voice trailed off.
"Hey…Jor…" his trailing off too.
"Jordan come on," one of her friends called. Jordan looked towards her and then back at Justin.
"I…I have to go," she quickly said and turned around.
"Wait," Justin called, taking her hand. She looked at his hand that was holding hers and then up to his face. "Can we talk?"
There was silence.
"Please?" he pleaded.
"I don't think so," she whispered. He took her other hand.
"Please?" he asked again. Jordan sighed and shook her head. Justin smiled.
"Not now though," she said.
"Meet me in front of the seals at…" he started. Jordan thought for a moment.
"10:30," she finished. He shook his head and smiled. She let go of his grip and walked away.
10:46 PM…
Justin sat on a bench, listening to the seals make their annoying noise. He had been sitting on that bench for the last hour, waiting. He knew she wouldn't arrive on time. It was like her to be late. He then heard the sound of shoes walking along the pier towards him. He looked up and saw her standing next to the bench.
"Sorry," she said, sitting down next to him.M
"It's ok," he replied. There was a long silence, well with the exception of the seals.
"You wanted to talk, so talk," Jordan stated. Justin sighed.
"I miss you," he said, looking over at Jordan. She was looking straight ahead with a blank face.
"Is that all?" she asked, still not looking at him.
"Jesus will you look at me?" Justin commanded. He touched her cheek and she quickly jerked away. He noticed the glazed covering in her eyes. She was crying. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. Jordan shook her head.
"After two fucking years, you finally decide to say sorry," she said. "Fuck, Justin, are you that clueless?" He didn't say anything. "I don't want your fucking apology. I don't want anything from you!" She got up from the bench and started to walk away. Justin quickly got up and went after her.
"Jordan wait!" he called. She started to run. He ran as he could and caught up with her, grabbing his arms. Once he touched her, her body went limp and she fell to the ground. Justin fell with her, holding onto her.
"I hate you," she whispered, lightly hitting his chest.
"I love you," he replied, holding onto her tighter. She stopped hitting his chest.
"I miss you too."
***** |