Reasons why I don't like (Sir) Cliff Richard:

1) He is incredibly old.
2) He has far too many Christmas songs.
3) He is not even properly British (silly colonials)
4) He has completely ruined Auld Lang Syne and the Lords Prayer AT THE SAME TIME!
5) He wanted to be Elvis.
6) He is a born again Christian.
7) He hangs around with lesbian tennis players.
8) He hangs (used to) around with Jill Dando.
9) Darren Day
10) He gave himself a stupid name instead of having Webb as a surname.

Reasons why Jo Brand irritates me:

1) She is a fat bitch.
2) She is not funny
3) She is a feminist
4) She is alive
5) She is a miserable fat cow
6) She thinks she is funny
7) 'Through the cakehole'. Why?
8) She is a stupid hypocritical menk.
9) She looks like a lesbian
10) She is Jo Brand

Reasons why I dislike Bridlington

1) It is considered to be more important than Filey.
2) It has a public building called The Bad Salzuflen Rooms.
3) Lindsay Clempson lives there (during non-term time).
4) Adrian Streather lives there.
5) It is full of old people.
6) All the shops are full of dire rubbish.
7) Quay Street signalbox has been demolished.
8) There are too many tourists.
9) The entire concept of Gypsy Road.
10) It exists.

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