Song: "Do what you have to do" by Sarah McLachlan
"I have the sense, to recognise, that I don't know how to let you go"
I watched them as they loaded the stretcher into the ambulance, the white sheet covering the figure from toe to head. The neck snapped like a twig, no sign of a struggle. She didn't see it coming, why would she, she loved Him, like I did.
Her eyes were closed as she lay on the bed, she'd been sleeping when the action which ended her life occurred. Thanks to my heightened sense of smell I knew what had transpired before He killed her, the air was thick with the scent of sex. She'd given herself willingly, hoping that He'd fall for her and forget all about me. I'm not angry at her though, wouldn't help much if I were right? We both fell in love with the man, both needing comfort and affection from Him, but it was her who had to pay the ultimate price. Or is it me. She wasn't significant enough to Him to torture her emotionally and mentally. She was just the message, from Him to me.
I'll never figure out exactly what happened to Him in the time we were apart, what mind control techniques that bastard White used on him - before his creation turned on him too - how he is as strong and almost invincible as he is.
Why he's trying to hurt me. It's obvious that White's plan was for Him to kill me but to still retain a personality - sadistic as it is - doesn't seem practical. He's just enjoying the power, the hunter/prey roles that we've taken on.
It's been a month since I sat atop that building, watching them wheel Asha into the ambulance and a month since I last saw Him. But He's not gone completely. I'm not that fortunate. Something is coming, something bad and I have to be prepared to fight Him. Sometimes I reach out at night, to the pillow beside me, praying that it's all just a nightmare, hoping to feel warm skin, perfect lips and a scruffy beard.
But It'll never happen. The man I loved is dead and nothing will bring him back. In the words of Alec:
"Max, your ex is a psycho, like it or not. I'm gonna do my best to protect you but I can't do that until you realize that he isn't the same Logan that he was before White got to him. He'll kill you without a thought, that's when he gets bored torturing you."
But Alec doesn't get it. I know that he's not the same Logan I fell in love with. He's an evil, powerful, man-made monster.
He's also as much of an obsession for me as I am for him. This is what's leading me towards the Penthouse of Foggle Towers, past the police tape, into the crime scene.
The apartment feels cold, empty and inhospitable. Not at all like I remember it. The memories of stolen kisses, whispered words of love and physical proof of that love no longer hang around in the air. I walk towards the large, golden mirror. The reel of his seduction, our third meeting and he had me yearning for him in a way I'd never felt outside my heat period. I hear the faintest of footfall on the hardwood floor behind me and look up to see him emerging from the shadows. He doesn't speak and I seem to have lost the ability to.
I force myself to stare back at him and hold back a shiver at the coldness in the usually deep blue eyes. The look on his still handsome, now intimidating face is that of a predator who has not yet finished toying with his prey. He's not moving, yet completely at ease. I'm rooted to the spot, staring back at him defiantly.
Then he makes his move...
