Dan Stewart
Tradition and Identity
Thought Project 1
Describing myself as a house, I am in the back of a typical suburban neighborhood where I have an average size yard. From the outside I appear just like all of the houses around me, one story tall with beige siding and a brown roof. In my yard, my grass is trimmed neatly, and I have trees and flowers like most of my neighbors. I also have a swing on my front porch, to try to make people feel comfortable approaching me.
I would blend in very well with the neighboring houses because I am a pretty normal looking and acting person, who blends into a crowd very easily because I am usually most comfortable just being a face in the crowd. I follow some trends, and therefore I don’t look outdated, and I’m proud that I don’t dress poorly, but I am also proud that I don’t go overboard trying to impress people by buying and wearing designer clothes that are expensive and/or aren’t comfortable. Being comfortable is of higher priority to me than impressing other people, which is why I wear sweatpants and sandals most days. Because I am not trying to impress people too much, I would not be a huge mansion with a Ferrari parked out front.
Although I fit in with the neighbors most of the time, I have open houses periodically. During these open houses, I have signs all over the neighborhood directing, almost forcing people to see the inside of me. Strangers, and people that I have only been around in large groups are surprised at how different my inside is from what they imagined would be just like all the other houses. As these people approach, they find a warm, welcoming entrance. There are porch lights on either side of a door that is large enough for all types of people to fit in comfortably, but not so large that it is intimidating. Once the people walk into the house, they see many doors to rooms that are all connected by a hallway that runs parallel to the front of the house. Each room would a theme of one particular hobby. Rooms would include a foosball room, hockey rink, and a music room with band equipment and piano. This hallway full of rooms would only extend a small fraction into the depth of the house. In order to get to the rest of the house, a guest can either walk through one of these rooms that interests them, or they can follow a long, confusing maze of hallways. If someone chooses this route, they may either get lost and end up back outside or just give up and go back outside.
The reason that I would almost force people to come to open houses is because periodically, I pour myself out to people I meet even if they don’t want to know about me. I usually only do this when I am in a rare mood and I meet someone that I want to think I am interesting so I start throwing out topics that I have interest in, hoping that they share the same interest. I tend to think of myself as someone who has a broad range of interests, so it usually isn’t hard for someone to get past this first level of security in my personality. If someone does not appear to share an interest with me such as hockey, table games, or music, I certainly will not reject them, but it just makes it harder for me to get to know them so I will be less likely to let them know who I really am. On the “tours” for people that I want to think I am interesting, it is usually much easier for them to make it through this first level of security because I will guide them by asking questions to find what their interests are so I can lead them through the proper room. Once I know that I share a hobby with someone, we have an easy conversation starter and we can participate in the hobby together so it is easier to get to know them and I feel more comfortable letting them know more about me.
Once you pass through the front rooms of the house, you enter a new structure, although you can’t tell because the walls don’t change from their smooth, white paint, and the carpet is consistently beige over the seam. While the front structure is framed with cinder-blocks and supported with steel columns that go fifty feet into bedrock below, the structure behind it is only framed with 2X4’s, which are sturdy enough most of the time, but do collapse much more often than the front structure. When any of the structures of the house collapse it is rarely due to an outside storm. Most collapses are caused by a piece of the structure being removed. The worst collapses are caused by the unexpected removal of a piece of structure, because I have no time to prepare for the damage. During almost all collapses, the front structure is usually still standing strong, though and no one from the outside can tell that anything is wrong unless they so some probing and climb a wooden privacy fence before guessing the two-number code to a lock that allows you around to the side of the house. If the front structure does fall down, I try to hide myself from others by building a temporary plywood wall to hide myself until my structure is sturdy enough to be shown in public again.
The purpose for this new structure is because once I know someone a little better, I am a little more likely to break down around them in times of trouble. The outside structure which is the only thing seen by strangers is almost always standing strong. I don’t want everyone to know that I have emotions, so usually I try to hide them from most people. There have been a few disasters that have broken down the front structure, though. This usually happens when I am at funerals, when pieces of structure that I depend on start to break down, like when I see my dad crying. I handle some deaths by keeping my front standing strong for people to see, but not when I see my dad, or another vital piece of structure in pain or I am in danger of losing them. At times like this, my strong front breaks down, and I feel alone, and I cry out loud for everyone to see, but I usually try to cover it up as quickly as possible by hiding in my room or the bathroom until I regain my composure. When only the second structure breaks down, most people can’t tell unless they try, by asking certain questions. It is not very hard to ask the right questions, though, which is why it is only a two-number code on the lock.
This second structure is where my friends spend their time inside the house. It is where the kitchen and the living room are. In the living room there are servants attending to everyone and plenty of big, soft couches. There is also almost always a stand-up comic making a fool of himself to try to entertain everyone so that they won’t leave the house. Sometimes people don’t want to hear comedy, but the comic doesn’t take hints very well, so he doesn’t stop trying to entertain unless people blatantly tell him to shut up.
The second structure is the place where most of my friends spend their time because I trust my friends more than strangers, but there are still embarrassing things that I try to hide from them. The kitchen and the couches are in this level because I want my friends to be comfortable around me, and I may have even gone overboard with the servants because I often feel insecure about losing friends. The comic represents me trying too hard to make people think that I am funny, and often trying to find humor in situations where no one wants any, like during arguments that I am trying to stop.
On the top of the back wall of the house there is a small window. About once a month, when the weather is clear you can look through this window and see massive mountains that will take your breath away. There is a prism in this window that spins and catches the attention of all the people in the room. When someone is in the room, it is almost impossible for the light of the prism not to catch your eye and make you look up at the view through the window. Sometimes people are upset and try to ignore the light, but it keeps spinning and pestering them, so eventually they look up at the window, unless they have a short temper, in which case they usually go over to the window and tear the prism down because it is bothering them.
The reason for the view of the mountains is because every once in a while I am extremely filled with awe by the beauty of nature and I try to share it with people around me. There are some things, such as mountains that are so beautiful and amazing to me that I forget about my problems when I look at them. When I am around other people and I see these beautiful things I try to point them out so that people around me can share in the awe and forget their problems. Especially when someone is sad, I will try to cheer them up by continuing to point out things that I think will make them happy. Sometimes this works, but other times, it makes people angry and they explode, yelling at me to stop trying to cheer them up.
On the side of the living room is my room. On the door, there is an extremely powerful peep hole, and a surveillance camera. When someone wants to come inside for the first time, they answer a series of very personal questions that can take several years to answer before the door opens for them. Most people aren’t patient enough to complete the entire process, though. Inside the room there is a comfortable couch, but it is only big enough for my parents, brother, and girlfriend. Off to the side of the room is my closet, where I have a secret concrete tunnel that is strong and has never shown signs of collapsing. This tunnel leads to my mom’s house.
The reason that my room has such an extreme security system is because I have to know everything about someone before I allow them to know everything about myself. I feel very threatened letting people know personal information about myself that they could use against me when I don’t have anything to use against them. I feel like I know almost everything about my girlfriend and my brother, so they are allowed in, and my parents are allowed in because I completely trust them and I know that I can tell them anything and all they will do is try to help me. This is particularly true for my mom, which is why I have a very stable tunnel to my mom’s house. When I need help I turn to my mom and there has never been a problem in my life yet that I have not felt comfortable talking to my mom about, which is why the tunnel is nearly indestructible.