OtakuNXS Presents... The Uses of a Knife Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs first and foremost to it's original creator, Rumiko Takahashi, for writing it; secondly to Shogakukan, for putting it out there; Thirdly to Viz for bringing it here, and most importantly to it's fans... your love makes it grow. o-(---- Ukyo woke up to dull pain. She had fallen asleep in the back room, a small pile of shrimp and vegetables in front of her and apparently with something sticking into her ribs. She pulled the thin, cylindrical object out of her sash and yawned sleepily. Blinking rapidly, she tried to get some strength back into her eyes. Had she fallen asleep crying? It must have been the onions. Ukyo wiped the weariness from her eyes and studied the light from her window. It was morning... again. Letting practiced reflexes take over, she began slicing up some shrimp with the nearest thing handy, her stomach in desperate need of food. The steady rhythm slowly drummed life back into her. Her thoughts began to turn to the previous night. o-(---- "Ukyo?" Akane had stuck her head into Ucchan's around seven that night. The place had been bustling for the past few hours. Her main competition had lost one of its major selling points and Ukyo was doing a brisk business. Of course, Shampoo's disappearance had also worried her a little. What could that purple-hared hussy be doing? With a smile she nodded to an empty chair in front of the grill. If Akane was here, Ran-chan was almost sure to follow and that meant more opportunities to stuff his face with real food. Cooked straight from the heart for the man she loved. How could he not notice? Even if he didn't show up, Akane was nice company. Most of her current customers were male refugees from the Neko-Hanten and they weren't in a talkative mood. They had spent the evening mourning their loss, not to mention trying to conjure up mental images of Ukyo in seductive attire. It wasn't working out well. The youthfull cook was very cute but she just didn't bounce the way the Amazon did. Still, their abortive leers were nothing compared to the dark mood of the remaining patrons. While the young men had lost a Goddess, their girlfriends had found a God. Mousse had always been attractive, but lately he seemed to have a whole new confident way about him. His eyes seemed to smolder behind his thick glasses and when he smiled, he smiled without any trace of the old malice. Just a quiet, contented grin that made your heart melt. Ukyo wasn't quite sure what was going on, but if Shampoo didn't forget about Ranma and stake her claim on him soon, he was as good as gone. She looked over at Akane who seemed to be fidgeting over something. What was with that weird look in her eyes? Was she sick? Not sure what to say, but glad to have someone to talk to she began innocently. "So, how's Ran-chan? I haven't seen him around much lately." She smiled as she prepared an okonomiyaki for a female patron. Ukyo concentrated on watching Akane's face, her reflexes concentrated on the task at hand. It was always fun to start Akane off on one of her little "Ranma no baka!" tirades. With a little more prodding she might even be able to set her up with some other guy. This would leave Ran-chan for herself and of course would probably be the best for all concerned. Even more fun, if she could subtly remind her of the momentous difference in their cooking skills, the enraged girl might even try and force-feed him. She could just see his hungry expression as he begged Ukyo to hide him from danger, not to mention giving him some real food. The fantasy came to a premature death as she saw Akane's face transform. Her hardened features melted and, was that a... blush? She was smiling, and all from one name, Ran-chan. Ukyo barely noticed as her spatulas tore through the Japanese delicacy. "Oh Ukyo, h-he proposed to me!" Akane had reached over the counter and was fiercely hugging the okonomiyaki chef, crying and laughing at the same time. Ukyo just stood there, her hands not moving and her face etched in stone. He had proposed. The young men who had been trying to conjure up ecchi images of her took one look in her eyes and saw the pits of hell. Those men who had come in, betrayed by their loves began to fidget under her burning glare and began remembering their own infidelities. The restaurant emptied in record time. No one even thought of skipping out on their tab. Piles of money with healthy tips adorned every table. "I-I'm very happy for you." was all she could stutter out. He had proposed. "Thank you, you'll come won't you? Ranma and I just couldn't have the wedding without you." Akane smiled, her eyes still moist with tears. "Wouldn't miss it." Ukyo choked out. He had proposed. "I-I got some things to do Akane, could you come back later?" "Oh, sure thing. We'll be sending out invitations in a few days, let me know if you don't get one." Akane squeezed her hand one last time and walked out the door. She seemed to be floating about an inch off the ground. He had proposed, finally, he had proposed. How long had she been waiting for that? But why had he proposed to the wrong girl? Ukyo didn't how she had ended upstairs but there she was, kneeling in front of her family shrine. She lit a candle and just stared at the pictures of her ancestors, her grandmother, her mother, a great aunt, all strong, powerful women with calm, compassionate eyes and hearts that burned with fire. Only one woman didn't seem to fit, she was more then beautiful, almost unworldly, but it was a fragile sort of beauty, like a china doll. Something that had to be held gently and never meant to withstand all that the world had in store. Katsumi Kounji, welcomed her with quiet willowy eyes. Practiced hands slowly lit the incense and tapped the small metal bowl, commencing a prayer. All she wanted was an answer, not some miracle that would make everything all right. She was done with waiting for miracles, now she just needed answers. Why had she wasted her life on a dream? Silence fell over her, a warm blanket offered to someone dying of heat stroke. Her eyes opened and fell back down to the darkly beautiful woman. She looked so feminine, so unreal, there was no hardness to be found, nothing but grace and tears, a weeping willow in a family of oaks. Men would have died for that smile, torn out there own hearts just for a glimpse of hers. She was every bit the princess, what happy story tale ending had destiny written for her? It was never to be known. Her family was a bit reluctant to talk about it, the whole affair had nearly torn them to pieces. Still, with persistence, Ukyo had been able to get the whole story. She had fallen in love with a married man. He had promised to leave his wife if only she would consent to be his lover. Had her heart been stronger, she might have said no. It had taken years for Katsumi to come to grips with the truth. Why should he give up the woman he loved for the woman he slept with? However, she had no place left to go. She had disobeyed her family to live within reach of the man and could not return. A year later, a family heirloom turned up missing. It had been a gift from an ancient household that had fallen on bad times. Ukyo's family had fed and nurtured the old clan back to health. The gift had been a beautiful ceremonial tanto, and it had become a symbol of pride for her family. Its disappearance was looked on as a bad omen, its reappearance was confirmation. When it was finally rediscovered, it was alongside a forever silent, fragile creature, with too soft a heart. The young woman had used the blade to end her life and had laid herself to rest in her lover's bed. The man was disgraced before his wife and his family. His uncle had taken possession of the man's belongings and had made sure the story, as well as the dagger, was returned to the Kounji family. The family received the tanto and kept it to remind them of their failure. Blood had washed away the blade's original meaning. Now, after so many years, no one in the family would speak openly of it, nor would any dare remove it from its sheath. Four years ago, the dagger had gone missing again. Another girl, swept up in the path of honor and half understood stories, had taken it. Ukyo had taken it. Her mind had been a flood of romantic ideals and samurai tradition. She had thought she would seal her fate after confronting the family who had wronged her. She chuckled softly to herself. It had all seemed so perfect when she was a child. She, a woman forced to be a man by a would be lover, would go the same as a woman forced to be a lover by a would be man. With a quivering hand, she removed the intricately carved, red and gold weapon from its secret place in the shrine. Her oath had been so serious at the time, filled with the strength of belief only a child could muster. She looked at the ornate dagger. Its goldlen tassel and Phoenix relief's shining just a bit in the light of the reflected candles. Nervously, she resisted the urge to look at the naked blade. Even now, it retained its fatal stigma. To open it was to make a covenant with death. Suddenly, a nervous pit seemed to open in her stomach. Could she really do this? The silent question played itself in her mind, over and over. Yes, she thought, forcing calmness over her whole body... she could. Ukyo blinked in surprise, was that the answer she seeked? She was amazed at how good she felt. Well, not exactly good, but at peace. She was, after all, a woman of honor. By making one final decision, she could leave the world as one. But was a man's heart worth her own? Before she could finish her thoughts, Ukyo's stomach growled. Humph, no point in that, she would have no need for food on this particular journey. Her stomach made a counter argument. Look, she thought, if I'm going to spill my guts, they are damn well going to be empty! Giving her point due consideration, her stomach rethought its strategy and decided to hell with it. It continued using the persuasion techniques it knew best. Fine, thought Ukyo, I'm an honorable Japanese woman with the munchies. Besides, she had all the time in the world to make her decision after all. She would have all of eternity once it had been made. With as much dignity as she could summon, she stuck the unopened blade in her sash and walked downstairs. The young woman took a sturdy kitchen knife from the chopping board, and attacked the various ingredients with hungry ferocity. She hummed a little tune to herself, perfectly in beat with the rhythm her cooking utensil set. All of her answers were right there in her sash. Besides, she was always a little bit more at peace when cooking for a purpose and her purpose tonight was clear. An okonomiyaki made just for her, not for any customer, not for some fickle fiancé, but for Ukyo Kounji, honorable samurai and one hell of a cook. Her mistake came with the onions. An experienced chef knows how to cut them just right so that juices secretions were kept to a minimum and therefore, so were tears. Ukyo had always ignored this little trick. If you were silly enough to cry over the massacre of a vegetable, you really had no business in the kitchen. Besides, at the speed and skill she wielded her tool, rarely did she feel so much as a sting. The small drop of onion mist landed on her face, like a newborn, unknowing of just why it was there, just sure that it was going to be paid attention too. She felt the slight itching sensation, but was too smart to just rub it right in with her hands. She would grab a towel in just a moment, after she was done chopping. Trickling down the curve of her lower lid, the invading liquid seemed balanced on her eyelashes. Don't blink, she thought, whatever you do, don't blink. Her eyes began to dry from the strain. She could almost feel her iris getting dryer and dryer and... aw the hell with it. She blinked. Rubbing her dampened eyes she thought, well, that wasn't so bad was it? Her continued chopping slowed as her tight smile began to falter, her eyes slowly beginning to moisten. Rubbing again fiercely, she looked accusingly at the offending vegetable. What had been simply moisture became a single tear. Just one trickle that made a long languorous trip down her check. She felt it hanging on her bottom lip, which started to quiver. o-(---- She didn't remember much after that. She had fallen asleep with tears in her eyes, and with a dagger poking her in the ribcage. Wait a second... she looked down as her hands skillfully sliced a shrimp in half. Skillfully and with a cursed ceremonial tanto! Her face paled and her bottom lip began to tremble uncontrollably again. There was only one thing to do, and she needed no ancestral sob story to tell her what. She laughed. She laughed at onions, she laughed at daggers, and she laughed at martial artists who turned into women or animals when splashed with cold water. Most of all she laughed because she was still alive. The knife had kept her company through one of the hardest nights of her life, but now it was just another tool for making the best tasting okonomiyaki in the world. The blood that had washed away the blade's original meaning, had been washed away itself... by shrimp juices. o-(---- Still giggling, Ukyo locked the door of her restaurant, her plans no more defined then that she would have a nice time and maybe get a new dress. She decided to pick up something nice for the upcoming wedding. Inside her shirt, a finely crafted tanto, useful for committing seppuku or slicing shrimp, nestled against her skin. She still had some dark days ahead of her, and she still had no focus or a clear path to travel. But she was alive! Maybe the darkness would try to drown her again. Maybe she would really succumb to its promises of eternal peace. She just wasn't sure. Today, however, was not the time to worry about such matters, the whole day spread out before her and there were still so many other possibilities! Sighing a bit to herself, she wondered if Katsumi-sama would ever have found that happy ending if she had discovered the other uses of the knife. o-(---- Somewhere, a phone rang... "Hello?" "Yo Ryouga, I got something incredible to tell you man!" o-(---- The End "The Uses of a Knife!" Ending Theme..."Suicide is Painless" If you don't know the tune, it's the M.A.S.H. Theme Song The Game of Life is Hard to Play... I'm Going to Lose it Anyway... My Final Card I'll One Day Lay... And That is All That I, Have to SaaaaaAAAAYYYY... Suicide is Painless... It Brings So Many Changes... And I Can Take or Leave It If I Pleasssseee... Paraphrased Neitzche (I think) The thought of suicide is a great comfort, it has gotten many a man through many a dark forgotten night...