Debbie: Yeah, two nights a week I cook, two nights a week he cooks, two nights a week we go out, and then there's sandwich night.
Joan: You know, your sex life must be a real thrill. Two nights a week you're on top, two nights a week he's on top. What is it that you do on 'sandwich night'?
Danny: Carmen?
Bernie: Carmen, yeah.
Danny: Yeah, what'd she say?
Bernie: I can't tell you. You're practically a married man.
Danny: Come on. What'd she say?
Bernie: Basically, she just has this desire to grab your joint! (Danny jumps on him and tries to cover his mouth; muffled) Grab his joint!
Danny: Shut up!
Kid: What's a virgin?
Joan: A virgin is someone who has never had sex.
Kid: What's sex?
Joan: Uh, sex, uh sex is how men and women make babies.
Kid: Are you a virgin?
Joan: No.
Kid: So you have a baby?
Joan: Uhm, no, men and women who don't want babies also have sex.
Kid: What for?
Joan: For about ten or fifteen minutes.
Debbie: Steve, don't. Just turn on the light.
Steve: I couldn't keep you from laughing.
Debbie: Goddammit, Steve!
Steve: What?
Debbie: Look, there's somebody else, now.
Steve: You're not married. I don't see a ring.
Debbie: I don't need a ring. I don't need a ring, you asshole! Look at me. Don't I look different? I mean, I'm in love. Can't you tell? I mean this has never happened to me before. I want to have ten kids with this guy. I mean, Jesus, doesn't it show?
Steve: Does he love you?
Debbie: I don't know.