Many people who self-harm have been abused, although not all people who have been abused will self-harm. For many the abuse happened in childhood and if adequate counselling is given self-harm can avoided, but few even tell anyone about the abuse and lock it up inside themselves till it becomes a result of self-harming. There are physical and emotional connections between self-harm and abuse, there is often absence of pain during the act of self-harm, rather like the absence of sensation which often occurs during abuse. A lost childhood needs to be grieved for, fear and confusion needs to be worked through, the pain, anger and rage have to be supported and when a child is betrayed by a trusted adult, the child feels it is to blame and feelings are directed inwards. As an adult self-injury can be a way of repressing memories of abuse at the same time it can mirror the original abuse.