"Guys we need to make a decision, the media in Georgia want you guys to hold a press conference there, but if you do it we will need to cut out the meet and greet and with the fans." Molly laid out the options to the boys as they all congregated on her bus as they drove to the next venue. Howie stared at her as she spoke. Her pale complexion was slowly getting back its colour and she had managed to keep some breakfast down.
Molly listened to Nick as he spoke, stealing glances at Howie from the corner of her eye. When she had gone down to breakfast that morning, they had all been concerned when they saw the huge bump on head and they were intrigued and very curious about how she and Howie had come to spend the evening together. She had let them tease for a while and then she set them straight. Their disappointed faces had made her laugh and made her curious at the same time. "Why are they all so intent on Howie and I getting together?"
~~**~~
"The look of pure concern on his face when I woke him up was something I never saw during high school. Instead I saw the vile and mean looks that came over his face whenever he saw me. I still to this day cannot figure out why people thought that being overweight was an invitation to make my life hell and feel like the scum of the earth. Why couldn't they see that beneath the extra flesh was a heart that beat like theirs, were lungs that needed to be with filled with the same air that they breathed, but most of all was a soul that craved for them to smile at me, to acknowledge that I was a human being and an equal instead of a freak or a joke. All I ever wanted was for Howie to say good morning to me without having an ulterior motive, to smile at me without having an insult ready to hurl my way. He can never understand how much he hurt me, how many times I hid in the washroom stall and ate my lunch so that i did not have to face his insults. He could never understand why, on the night of junior prom, I took a paring knife and contemplated cutting away the rolls of flesh that hung off of me, how I thought that if I cut away the one thing that made me different from the rest of them, that maybe I would finally fit in, that maybe I could walk the halls with my head held up instead of counting the tiles on the floor as I walked, afraid that if I made eye contact with someone that they would make fun of me. Growing up was never fun for me, Howie and his friends took away my childhood memories, they took away my ability to grow up like a normal child, they made me hate school and hate myself for the longest time. I know that he has changed and that he is now a mature and caring man but how do you forgive a man who stole your innocence and made you look at life with contempt. How do I forgive the man who haunts my memories." Molly laid down her pen and closed her journal as she heard AJ's voice coming towards her bunk. She hid her journal under her pillow and wiped away the tears as her curtain swung open.
"Hi Good Lookin’," AJ smiled at her as he opened the curtain and flopped down onto the bunk. "So how are you feeling?" AJ reached up and softly touched her bump. "That's a bad one, D told me that you really hit your head hard."
"I am very lucky that Howie was at the gym, otherwise God knows how long I would have laid there."
"Spud can we talk?" AJ asked seriously, using the nickname that the guys had given to her, referring to her obsession with baked potatoes.
"Sure, what's up?" Molly asked, knowing that he was going to ask about her and Howie.
"Why do you get so upset whenever one of us teases Nick about his weight?"
"I see how upset it makes Nick and it bothers me. Why do you have to pick on him about that, cant you find something else to tease him about?"
"Well we used to tease him about popping chubbies but we are afraid that he will sit on us if we do." AJ laughed and then stopped "Sorry, honestly I think we tease him because we were so used to seeing him so lanky and now he is built like a MAN."
"I just do not understand why people are so obsessed with skinny vs fat...I guess it is something that will never change"
"Spud is there anything you want to talk about?" AJ asked, his voice laced with concern for his tour manager.
"I am fine....come on, I think it is about time to avenge our loss in
the
food fight" Molly said laughing.
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