Skylar took a deep breath and dialed the number in front of her. She nervously chewed on the cap of her pen and waited for the dial tone. She was startled when a deep voice answered.
"Hello, is anyone there?” The man asked
"Ummm, hello may I speak to Kevin please?" Skylar's voice was tight and raspy.
"This is he..who is speaking please?"
"Skylar, Skylar Lawson."
"Skylar, hi how are you?" Kevin asked a little too quickly.
"I am fine, I just wanted to call and thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful."
"I am glad you liked them. So how was your holiday?"
"Typical, sat around the table and watched all my cousins and their partners try to out do one another, listened to my parents whine about how they would like to be grandparents before they are too old to hold them. You know typical family stuff. And yours?"
"It was great, all the family came to Kentucky and I got to spend time with my new nephew. I am looking forward to getting back on tour but I am also cherishing the time with my family, for it is not often that I get to spend quality time with them. How is Mikey?"
"Sweet as always. Kevin, he mentioned something to me the other day and I want to ask you about it, did you buy him and his mother and sister a bunch of things?"
"Why would you think it was me?" Kevin asked quietly.
"Because he saw the picture of you from the benefit program and told me it was you," Skylar laughed.
"Guess I am busted huh? I was walking by and saw them shivering in the car and I just couldn't bear the thought of them cold and hungry at Christmas. Call me a sentimental softie but Christmas is the most magical time of the year and I want everyone to be happy."
"Kevin you so caring, I mean how many people walk by each day past the car and look at the family who is cold and hungry and turn up their noses at them and make comments about them. You stopped and helped them, that is something incredible."
Kevin blushed, "That's the was I was raised, honestly I didn't do anything that I wouldn't normally do"
"Well then, God has planted in you a marvelous gift, the gift of kindness. It is rare to see that these days," Skylar realised that she was heaping compliments on the man and stopped. She looked at her watch, "Kevin I have a meeting in 5 minutes, I really have to run."
"You have a meeting at 8 at night?"
"Yes, it is a dinner meeting," Skylar said rushed. She was getting flustered and she had to get off the phone.
"Well have a good New Year's Skylar."
"You too Kevin," and she hung up the phone. "Dammit what the hell is wrong with me?"
~~**~~
"His strong voice carried over the phone and made sweet music in my head. His words sounded like poetry and it took me a few minutes to catch my composure. He sounded so sincere and happy to hear from me, that he put me at ease right away.
Have you ever sat and watched people go about their lives. I sat in my office and watched some of the children build a snowman. I haven't made a snowman in years and watching them jump around and roll the snow, hearing their childish laughter, and seeing their red cheeks made me think back to my childhood. Spending time with my cousins sledding and skating, where the only worry we had was whether or not we'd be able to skate another length before dinner. How I long to be back in those days. Instead I sit here and debate whether or not to do some work or to go to bed. I cut him off again tonight and I am mad at myself for doing it. I think sometimes that his strong personality scares me. I am amazed at how put together he is, how he can make the most out of any situation and how he does things that change people's lives and acts like he does things like that every day. How hard it must be to be that perfect. I on the other hand struggle every day to half as good as what parents and friends think I am. I wake up every morning and wonder if this is the day that I am finally going to get my big break. In the lines at the cafeteria I search the crowds for the person who I have prayed for every night. I think sometimes that he does not exist and that I have made him up to have something to strive for.
I have almost completely stopped going to bars as I have learned that to take someone home just to have a warm body in my bed is worse than having no one in my bed. The feeling when they leave completes the vicious circle that I live and I hate doing that to myself. Maybe it is god's plan for me to walk the earth alone. Who knows, but if Mr. Wonderful does not show up soon then I must just give up on the idea of love completely, I am getting tired of the hide and seek with love.
Yours till the moon and the stars dim out
~~**~~
"The man you describe would probably deny that he is as special as you make him out to be. He would probably argue that he does those things to make himself feel good, that by seeing people smile raises his mood and makes him forget, if only for a second that he is alone. Do you know that every time I see a couple with their child that I ask God to grant me that happiness. I would give up everything for one moment of being with a family of my own. I saw a falling star last night and I made a wish, I wished not for God to deliver me my soul mate but for god to deliver me a woman who could be my soul mate. I think that I am striving for too much, maybe I have to grow along with my soul mate, after all things are not built in a day and neither is love. What does your heart tell you to do? Is it telling you to call him? If it does call him back. If the man has any feelings for you, even feelings in the beginning stages then he will understand and right now he will be praying for you to call.
My sweet friend always remember something that my mother told me, remember that when you are wishing on a star, that someone else is wishing the same thing on the same star, that the person who shares your dreams and the star is your destiny. I pray every night on my star and pray that one day my destiny will also hear my prayer and realise that she has been been wishing on my star also.
Yours till my star falls from heaven
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