When you get what you want
In your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day
Go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that girl has to say
For it isn't your father
Or mother or man
Whose judgement on you must pass
The person whose verdict counts most in life
Is the girl staring back from the glass
She's the one to please
Never mind all the rest
For she's with you clear to the end
And you've passed your most difficult and dangerous test if that
girl in the glass is your friend
You can fool all the world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward
Will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated that girl in the glass
~~**~~
"Miss Foster this is incredible, better than we ever could have imagined. We are running it unedited and it will be on the front page on Sunday. You have a brilliant career ahead of you" Abbie hung up the phone. "If it was incredible how come I feel so damn low about myself?"
~~**~~
Howie smiled when he saw the familiar bubbly writing on the envelope. He climbed into his bunk and ripped hungrily at the letter. He had not spoken to Abbie on over a week and he had been worried that he had done something wrong. This letter lifted his spirits because he thought that it meant that she had just needed time to sort things through.
"My precious Howie,
How do I tell you that I am evil and that I am about to betray the only man who treated me with unconditional love and respect. You took me out of the darkness and showed me the lighter side of life. How do I tell you that I am about to cause you and the rest of the guys a lifetime of agony?
Howie, remember the night on the bus when you climbed into my bunk and I asked you if you would do anything to get something you wanted? I remember your answer. You said that if it meant hurting someone you loved that you would give it up. That shows how incredibly kind and special you are. I am evil, I once was as caring as you but I have been warped and filled with hatred. My professor took away every ounce of caring I had in my body. I am jaded now. I want sucess and fame.
I pray that one day you will understand and forgive me for what I have done.
All my love,
Abbie
"What has she done?" Howie was suddenly filled with fear. He picked up his phone and tried to reach Abbie. "We're sorry but the number you have reached is out of service, please check the number or try your call again" "SHIT..." Howie threw his phone against the wall of his bunk.
~~**~~
"Abigial Foster, this is Trent Givens, the attorney representing the Backstreet Boys and The Firm Management Group. This is to inform you that your contract has been terminated with my clients."
"YOU BITCH...HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO US...WE LOVED YOU!!"
"I used to think you were an incredible and sweet woman but now I know that you were a money hungry bitch who used us to make a name for yourself"
Abbie listened to the messages that filled her voice mail and cried. Although every media outlet in the world wanted an exclusive interview with her she had lost the one thing that she had craved the most. She had thought it was sucess but last night as she cried and felt frightned she figured out what she had wanted all along. She needed Howie to hold her, she needed to feel his lips on hers and she needed to know he loved her. She had wanted love all along, she had been blinded by the fame and money and now she was miserable.
~~**~~
Howie was curled up in his bed at home, staring at the full page article that had managed to ruin his friends' reputations and might very likely end their careers. "How could she do it..how could she be so cruel and calculating?"
~~**~~
"Abbie why did you do it? What made you decided to blow the cover on the Backstreet Boys?" Barbra Walters sat across from Abbie and asked the one question that the world had wanted to know for the past 5 months.
Abbie's eyes filled with tears and she had to clench her hands to make them stop shaking. "I don't know why I did it. Maybe I was blinded by the money or the fame, I really don't have an answer, what I do know is that I will never forgive myself. They were my friends and I betrayed them."
~~**~~2 years later~~
"BACKSTREET BOYS SELL OUT WEMBLEY STADIUM IN 10 MINUTES"
Howie clipped out the article and put it in the memory book his mother had made for him when the boys had first started out. It was now bursting at the seams. He smiled as he realized that the boys had made it. It had been a rough couple of months after Abbie's column. Their record sales had plummeted and they had been smeared on every cover of every tabloid. They had lost a lot of fans but in a way it had done them good as well. It had forced them to step back and look at how they were handling sucess and how they were living their lives. They went their seperate ways for 6 months and took a long look at their lives and then began fresh and were now bigger than ever. Never a day had gone by without him thinking of the time that he and Abbie had spent together. He knew that he would always love her but he also knew that she had been in hiding for almost 3 years and that he needed to get on with his life.
~~**~~
"Come on Munchkin we have to get going." Abbie hurried her neice out of the bathroom and went in to check on her daughter. "Ready Squirt?" her almost 3 year old daughter looked up at her and smiled "yes momma" Abbie smiled at her daughter and then the familiar feeling of lonliness and sadness took over. "How I wish your daddy could see what a cutie pie you are"
~~**~~
"Brian she really is a cutie" Howie grinned as Brian's 2 year old daughter walked between Brian and him, holding their hands as they walked through Disney World. Leighanne was sick at home so Brian had asked Howie to go with him and keep him company while he tried to keep Sarah out of the house so she didn;t get sick.
"Uncle Wie I want to go to that ride" Sarah pointed at the Small World ride.
Howie felt a lump grow in his throat as he remembered the promise that he had made to Abbie. "Sweetie why don't we go on the Donald Duck ride?" Howie was trying to convince Sarah when he saw a familiar woman walking with a very familiar little girl and a beautiful little girl with dark curls in a stroller.
"Oh my god Brian...look" Howie pointed at the woman who had thought of every day for almost 3 years.
"She looks beautiful..D that little girl..oh my god D that little girl is the spitting image of you" Brian stood shocked as he slowly figured out why Abbie had done what she had done all those years ago.
Abbie felt someone staring at her as she waited in line for the one ride that she wished did not exist. She turned and came face to face with the eyes she saw every night in her dreams. "Howie I am so sor...'" her apology was cut short as his lips brushed aginst hers.
Howie pulled away and looked at the little girl in the stroller who recognizing the man from the pictures that her mother showed her said "Hi daddy" Howie's heart broke and he scooped the confused little girl into his arms and held her close. "You didn't have to do what you did because you were afraid.....you could have told me" Howie pulled a stunned Abbie into his arms and held her and his daughter for the first time. "I promised you that I would take you on the Small World years ago and I am going to keep that promise" Howie and Abbie walked towards the ride hand in hand with their daughter in Howie's arms.
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