Suppressing a yawn, I tossed my luggage on to my bed and stretched. That was the longest flight I had ever been on and my French had long since faded since high school so catching a cab had been a little difficult. I stretched and sat down for a moment to catch my bearings before pocketing my key and leaving the room.
Two floors later on the elevator I stepped out and walked right into a large wall. Ok, so it wasn't a wall. It felt like one.
"Jack!"
"Marcus, you trying to kill me," I teased A.J.'s bodyguard, smiling up at him.
"What are you doing here girl?" he asked, hugging me. Marcus was the kind of man everyone adored. Unless of course you were a fan, then people tending to strongly dislike him.
"I had some things to take care of with a couple of the guys. So I took a week off, hopped on a plane, and here I am," I explained, grinning at him.
"Well, let me steal you away for a drink before the guys do," he said, turning me back toward the elevator.
"You can't drink though. You're on duty," I teased.
"So I can buy you one. We got some catching up to do, kiddo. Come on, " he said as if I had a choice. The elevator was already on its way down with us on it.
Finding a table in the back, we ordered and got comfortable. Then he stared at me.
"You know I'm tempted to slug the next person who looks at me like that," I said, breaking the silence. HE smiled then and I found myself smiling in return.
"How are you, Jack?"
"What does everyone keep asking me that?" I questioned, turning the glass in my hand.
"Because you took what happened so hard and because we love you," he answered.
"Don't say 'what happened.' My brother died, Marcus. I'm living with it but I don't know how long that will last if the world keeps tip toeing around it. I need to hear the words," I said, looking up at him.
"Fair enough. I ask because I know how much Manny's death hurt you and I'm worried about you. Like everyone else has been worried about you," he said, watching me with the concerned eyes of a friend.
"I've seen better days but I've seen worse. I think I'm going to make it. Speaking of worried though, who is watching my favorite Backstreet bad boy?" I asked, switching the subject to A.J. and safer ground.
"I can take a hint. I locked him in his room and told him to call Annie. He should be in there for the next three hours," he answered, laughing.
"They have a real magic about them don't they?" I said, smiling.
"They are almost as in love as my wife and I," he answered, winking at me.
"Do you miss her on the road?"
"I think I'm on the phone almost as much as A.J. I can't stand being away from her but she knows how much I love working with the guys. So she helps me pack, she kisses me goodbye, and she waits for me to come home because she knows I'll always come home."
"Thanks, handsome. Now you have to excuse me. I have to go say a few things to A.J. and then do something I never thought I would do. Catch you later," I said, standing, squeezing his shoulder, and leaving the bar.
On the way back up in the elevator, I thought about the woman I had become since Manny's death. I didn't like that woman. She was scared and fragile and fell apart at every little thing. She was weak and if I was anything it was strong. Nothing broke me down. I faced the world with my head held high and my shoulders squared. If I backed down it was my choice. The woman I had become backed down because of fear, not choice. I refused to be that woman.
I knocked on the hotel room door and wait. A moment later A.J. swung it open, his cell phone pressed to his ear.
"Annie, only two more weeks till you and the kids come out, angel," he was saying.
I pressed my finger to my lips to signal I didn't want him to tell her I was there and laughed as his jaw fell open.
"Baby, let me call you make in a few. Howie wants to show me the new shoes he bought. I love you. Give the kids a kiss for me. All right. Bye," he said, and ended the call. "Jack, woman what are you doing here?" he demanded, pulling me in close for a hug.
"Hell of a way to greet your best friend, A.J.," I teased, hugging him back.
"I'm so happy to see you, Jack. Shocked, but happy. What are you doing here though?" he asked, ushering me inside.
"I needed to see you and it couldn't wait," I admitted, sitting down on the bed and sliding on to the floor. A.J. folded himself down in front of me.
"What's wrong?" he asked, the worried expression instantly covering his face.
"Nothing, A.J. I swear, I'm fine, everyone else is fine. Nothing is wrong, at least nothing but my entire life. So I came to fix it. But first I needed to see you," I said, reaching a hand out and touching his face.
"What about?" he asked, his hand covering mine.
"I needed to say thank you. You were there for me when I needed you the most. You kicked my ass when it needed to be kicked," I answered, smiling. "You have been my silent support and my steady shoulder and my constant friend. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you. I may not have even lived this far without you and for that there will never be words to express my love and gratitude. A.J., thank you for forcing me to live and love when I didn't want to do either ever again."
"Jack," he began but I shook my head to silence him.
"Wait. Let me finish. Your wife has been my saving grace and because of the two of you I have found that I can believe in things I never wanted to believe in before. I needed you to know that, A.J., because without you my heart would have died. You saved my heart so that I could love and be loved. Thank you."
With the tears streaming down my face, A.J. pulled me into his arms and held me. When I felt the moisture on my shoulder I knew he was crying as well. I should have known it would be that moment. I was still surprised to hear the door open though and then that voice.
"Hey, Bone, can I borrowâ€|." The words trailed off as Nick stood in the doorway staring at me crying in A.J.'s arms.
"Hey, Carter," I said, wiping the tears from my face and standing up.
"What are you doing here, Walker?"
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