Nightfall had come. Toni was still slumbering. Denise went downstairs. And AJ just had woken up. He looked around dazed for a moment. 'What? Oh yeah, I fell asleep. Dammit.' Then he remembered what Toni had said that morning. 'Shit. I have to talk to her. I'll wait until after I come back and she's awake.' He jogged down the stairs and found his mother in the kitchen cleaning the counter to the best of her ability with her left hand.
"Mom, you shouldn't be doing that!"
She jumped once again.
"God, will you stop scaring me like that!"
"Sorry," he replied sheepishly.
She sighed, "It's ok."
"You really shouldn't be doing that, you know."
"Well, I can't just sit on my ass all day bored to death! I have to be active! Besides, I'm fine! It doesn't even hurt anymore."
"Ok, but be careful, and don't hesitate to ask for help when you really need it." He noticed that she still had her cross on. "But it's gonna be kind of hard for Toni to help you if you have that cross on."
Denise looked down and clutched it in her hand. "Oh yeah, I-I-I forgot to take it off. Don't worry, when she wakes up, I'll put it away." She seemed nervous and unsure.
"Are you ok?" he asked taking a step forward.
"Yes, I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?" she answered jumping back. She was acting weird.
"Mom?" He took moved closer to her again. She immediately recoiled. It was as if she was afraid of him.
"What?"
He looked down at the ground and started walking away.
"Nevermind."
Then he left.
Toni came down the stairs and into the kitchen yawning and rubbing her eyes.
"Hi, Denise. What are you doing?"
Denise hid the cleaning rag behind her and answered innocently, "Nothing."
Toni didn't believe her. "You have to take it easy for a while. You know that."
Denise rolled her eyes and took off her cross and stuck it in her pocket. "I'm FINE! I know what I'm supposed to be doing and what I'm NOT supposed to be doing! I'm NOT supposed to run outside and get hit by a car, but I AM supposed to go on with my life! And having a useless arm for a few weeks isn't going to stop me! Ok?!"
"Ok. We're just looking out for you, that's all."
"Thank you. I appreciate your concern, really I do, but I'm a big girl. I can more or less take care of myself," she said smiling. Toni didn't smile back. Denise frowned. "Is something wrong, Toni?"
"Why would anything be wrong?" she asked confused on how she came about to that conclusion.
"Oh come on! A woman can tell when there's something on another woman's mind. Tell me about it."
"I-I-I'm fine, really." She lied. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes.
"No you're not, Toni. What is it? Is it AJ?"
She nodded sadly, wiping away a stray tear. Denise took her hand and led her towards the stairs.
"Let's go to my room and talk about it. It's much more private and comfortable." Toni didn't resist. She felt she needed a heart-to-heart girl talk. They went up, closed the door, and sat on her bed. "Now, Toni." She put her hand over hers. "Tell me all about it."
" Umm…" she sniffed.
She handed her a tissue.
"Oh, thank you. *blew her nose* It's, umm, it's…it's stupid really."
"It's not that stupid if it's making you cry."
"It started yesterday. Well, actually it started ever since he became so dangerously obsessed with this war. He's changed, Denise."
"I know, sweetie," she said sadly. "I've noticed it, too."
"Yeah. That's part of it. But the real problem was yesterday when I was helping him…" She trailed off thinking it was better for her to leave those details out of the conversation. "Anyway, I told him I loved him, like I always do. He always says it back, but this time…he didn't. He didn't tell me he loved me in return."
"Oh, honey, don't you think you're overreacting just a tad? I mean, if this was the first time he hasn't said it---"
"I know. I thought I might be overreacting, too, but he never did that before. Those words coming from him were like the thing keeping me alive. I woke up every night just to hear them. I look forward to every morning to exchange our 'I love you's and go to bed with those beautiful words ringing in my head. Not hearing them is like a stake through the heart! I know you think I'm crazy and dramatic, but I can't help it. This is my first time being in love and I love it! I thought---I think that he's the one. I'm just not sure what he thinks. He used to say the same to me, that I was the only one for him for eternity. But so much has changed. I'm afraid our relationship has changed as well and I don't want it to. I love him so much. I don't want to let go." A sob escaped her throat and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Oh, don't cry. Come here." She enveloped her in a hug. "After this is over, everything will be ok."
"We don't know for sure."
"No…we don't, but…"
Toni looked up at her and saw troubled eyes.
"Denise?"
"Hmm?"
"You're scared."
"What?"
"I can see the fear in your eyes. I can sense it, too. What are you afraid of?"
She turned the other way.
"I-uh-I…"
"You're not afraid of me, are you? Because you know that I would never---"
"Oh no! Toni, it's not you! I know you would never hurt me, but…"
"But what?"
"I don't know if I should say anything."
"Uh uh, you made me pour my heart out to you and made me feel better. Now it's your turn."
" God, I can't believe I'm saying this…"
AJ stumbled through the front door, sweating and wide-eyed.
"Oh my God, how am I going tell them this?! I-I-I just have to take a deep breath and pretend it's like nothing, that it doesn't matter, but…"
The thing he feared most had come true. But it would be even more hellish to Denise and Toni. He had to break it easily and remain strong for the both of them. It was going to be hard. Possibly the hardest thing he'd ever have to do. But he had no choice. His clan had no choice. And unfortunately, the world had no choice. He started climbing the stairs, holding on to the rails for support. His legs felt like jello. He tried to wipe away the fear from his face. He staggered to his mother's closed door and was about to knock, when he heard his name. He pressed his ear against the door to listen better.
"He's not the same AJ I used to know," declared Denise in a frightened voice. "Yesterday, I thought I was going to die of horror when I saw him feeding off that man. Trying to protect me is one thing, but killing a man…while he was sucking his blood, he had pleasure, satisfaction, and enjoyment written all over his face! It was like he had become one of THEM!"
"What?!" AJ silently yelled to himself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing!
"He looked…he looked almost EVIL! He had his first taste of human blood and he liked it! I know I'm probably being silly, but I am truly scared. I-I-I wear my cross every night…just in case."
"Denise! AJ would NEVER hurt you!"
"No, the old AJ would never hurt me, but he's…he's changed so much. I don't know what to expect anymore!"
AJ felt his heart crumble. His own mother feared him and thought he was an evil creature from hell! His whole world had just come crashing down. If your own mother hates you, who can you possibly turn to? Maybe this was a sign. He had to leave. Perfect timing. But this time it was going to have to be forever. He felt as if he was going to throw up. Wallowing in his own little world of misery, lonliness, anger, sadness, and emptiness, he did not hear Toni get up and walk towards the door. She opened it and was horrified.
"AJ?! What---"
He gave her the glare of death and then rushed to his room.
"AJ! Wait!"
She went after him. He was gathering all of his stuff and stuffing them into his duffle bag.
"AJ, what are you doing?! Where are you going?!"
He didn't answer her. He just continued to angrily throw things in there. Denise ran up behind Toni.
"What's going on?!"
"I'm leaving!" he stated firmly.
"What?! No, you can't!"
"Why not?! My own mother hates me! There's no reason for me to stay! I'm going to Romania where they actually want and need me!"
"WHAT?! Don't be ridiculous! I don't hate you!"
"Yes, you do! I overheard you talking to Toni about how evil I am and how you wear your cross every night because you're afraid that I'll kill you!"
"NO! I didn't mean it that way! I didn't mean---"
He turned to her, fire burning in his eyes.
"Don't give me that! You did mean it! You didn't even know I was listening! Why should I stay?! All I am is a nightmare to you!"
He picked up his stuff and stormed down the stairs and to the front door. They followed.
"AJ, please! Stop being so pig-headed and listen to her!" pleaded Toni. Denise could hardly talk, she was crying so much.
"What is there more to say that you haven't said already?! You made it perfectly clear that you don't want me here, so I'm doing you a huge favor and leaving!"
"AJ! AJ, please," his mother sobbed. "Please don't go! Let me explain!"
AJ looked at her. She looked awful. He had caused her so much pain over the past few months. He owed her the chance to at least defend herself. He put his bag down. She approached him crying and arm outstretched. He did not respond. He stood there frozen as she hugged him and sobbed.
"I'm sorry…I-I-I've been through so much, I don't know…I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't mean any of it, I swear! Please stay! I want you here! I don't know what I would do if I lost you again! Please don't go! I love you!"
She could tell that he was softening. She looked up into his eyes. They no longer contained anger. They held sadness.
"Please…don't go."
"Mom…" His voice was shaky. "I-I-I have to. I have no choice."
"Yes, you do! I've told you that I love you and I want you here! What more do you want to hear?!"
"I-I-I can't."
"AJ! What the hell is wrong with you?!" yelled Toni. "Your mother's here practically groveling at your feet and you don't have the decency to---"
"It's not that!"
"Then what is it?!"
"It's…it's…I met…news about Romania…it's bad. Really bad. They need me over there."
"Why? What happened?"
Denise sat down on the couch preparing for the worst, while Toni remained standing, staring at AJ.
"AJ, what is it?"
"The…Daemoniacus found our new sanctuary. They destroyed all of our plans and most of our weapons. They've been torturing and killing. Not many escaped. There's very few of us left."
"Oh my God!"
Denise gasped then covered her mouth.
"I have to go."
"When will you be back?"
AJ looked into Toni's sorrowful eyes and swallowed.
"Never," he choked out.
"Never. What do you mean NEVER?! How can you---"
"Toni, please! I'm trying to explain---"
"NO! You can't do this is to her! You can't do this to US!"
"I don't---"
"Why can't you come back?! Why?! Give me ONE good reason you have to stay there forever without---"
"GOD DAMMIT, TONI! NONE OF US ARE COMING BACK!"
Toni was taken back. She sat next to a frightened Denise and talked to him more calmly.
"W-w-what do you mean?"
He ran his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut.
"This is our last chance. This is it. This…is our final battle. It's a fight till the death."
"B-b-but…"
"They have the advantages of having weapons and a lot more on their side. The outcome looks grim, but we're going to try. That's all we can do."
"I still don't understand. That doesn't mean you can't come back."
"Toni, there's a small chance that any members of the ones that are left will get out of there alive. Especially me. They know if they get the leader, the rest will fall apart, as easy as 1, 2, 3."
"No, no, no," she repeated shaking her head. "You're not going to die. You're not…" She fell into his arms and bawled. "Don't go! Please! You can't leave us again!"
"This is the last time…"
"No!"
Toni was crying hysterically. Denise was frozen. It didn't all sink in yet. 'He can't die! He's already dead!' she reasoned. But she knew it wasn't true.
"No!" Toni continued to wail. "I'm not going to let you get yourself killed!"
"I'm sorry, I---"
"No!"
"Toni, please let go. I have a responsibility as leader. Dying in exchange for the world's independence from undead evil happens to be it."
"I'm not letting you go! EVER!"
"Toni, look at me." He removed her grasp from him and made her look him in the eye. "I'm sorry. I love you. Always remember that." She nodded and sat down staring blankly at nothing at all. She was in a trance. Denise looked at her in shock then up at him.
"What did you do to her?! What---"
"I love you, Mom. Good bye."
She, too, fell under his hypnotic spell. He gave her a kiss on the
cheek
and gave Toni a last tender kiss on the lips. He walked out the door,
not
even bothering to take his stuff with him, and closed it behind him. A
single tear was shed as he left all that was dear to him for some dark
fate.
Valencia was right. It was best if you stayed away from those you
love. But
AJ broke that rule. He made his mother go through his death twice.
Life
could be so cruel. But sometimes death was even crueler.
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