Toni walked away feeling like crap. AJ got up and went upstairs to change. He passed by Denise's room and decided to check on her. He opened the door just a crack and peeked in. She was sound asleep with a frown on her face. The hallway light reflected off something around her neck. It was a cross. AJ was confused. Why was she wearing her cross? Usually she would just wear it in the daytime, so she wouldn't hurt them. Maybe she forgot to take it off. That was probably the reason. Oh well, no one could do anything about it now. He quietly closed the door and went to his room. He picked out a black wife beater, dark baggy jeans, and his black combat boots. Then he procceeded to the bathroom to take a hot shower. The steaming water streams that flowed over his open wounds sent shockwaves throughout his body. They weren't of pain, but neither of pleasure. He felt that this would somehow cleanse the blood of his mother off his hands, purge himself from the sin of almost taking a human life, and most of all, release him of the curse of being a vampire. But that would never happen.
He had forgotten about the nightly meeting with Hans. It was too late now. The sun would come up in a matter of minutes. Oh well, nothing probably happened. One night of negligence isn't going to hurt anyone, right? But for some reason, AJ didn't believe that. He felt something was stirring. A big something. He felt it down in the depths of his heart and soul. Something catastrophic was going to happen. Tomorrow night he would find out what. It sent fear, desparation, and hopelessness through his still heart. The power of the unknown.
After he was finished drying himself and getting dressed and all that, he went back into his room to think. 'What the hell's going to happen? I know it's majorly bad and I feel like the world's fate rests on my shoulders, but what could it be? God, I have to find out!' He tried shaking it off for a moment so he could get back to work. But it plagued his mind and wouldn't let him concentrate. Besides that, his deprivation of sleep and sufficient R & R had taken it's toll. His eyelids felt heavy and he couldn't take it anymore.
Toni was sitting on the couch, staring at a blank TV screen. 'I don't get it! He told me he loved me so many times before! What's changed?! Why?! Why is this happening to him?! Even if his feelings for me have changed, mine haven't and it sucks! How can I love someone who doesn't love me back?! God, I wish I could hate him! I wish I could just walk up to him, tell him off, beat the shit out of him for leading me on, tell him that I hate him, and just walk away like nothing's happened! But I can't because I don't! I can't stop loving him! No matter what, he will always be my AJ.'
She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. Then she began to sob silently to herself. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for herself, she wiped her tears away, took a deep breath, and quietly went up the stairs.
On her way to her room, she noticed AJ's door was opened. He never left his door open when he was working. She decided to take this rare opportunity to take a peek in and find out what he was up to. She stuck her head in and saw AJ asleep on his desk. She smiled weakly then walked in silently. She stood over him and looked at his beautiful and peaceful (for the first time in a while) face.
"What's happening to us?" she whispered softly as she gently stroked his hair. "I've loved you so much and I still do. But you don't seem to feel the same way. Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I'm taking all of this the wrong way. Maybe it's just the stress of this God damn war that's making you act like this and after it's over, you'll be the old goofy, romantic AJ again. But it hurts. It really hurts." She kissed the top of his head. "I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again. I love you, Alexander James McLean." Then she left. She knew he wasn't going to say it back. She knew she wouldn't hear those three precious words for a while or maybe never again. And she knew if he didn't really love her, she'd have to say goodbye to Denise, to him, and this perfect life she had lived for a little while. But the thing she didn't know was AJ heard every word she had said.
He knew what was happening. He knew things weren't the same. He
knew he
had changed, but there was nothing he could do. He had convinced
himself
that emotions cloud the mind. After all, Valencia's affection for him
got
her killed. He couldn't let his clan down. He couldn't let the
Daemoniacus
win. He had to put this act on for the world's sake. But he promised
himself
that after it was all over, he'd be his former silly, loving self again
and
he'd beg Toni and his mother for their forgiveness. Everything would
be back
to normal when it was all over. He expected that. But what he didn't
expect
was for it to be over so soon.
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