AJ didn't know how he managed to get home. It was all like a dream. All of a sudden, he found himself on his front porch. Exhausted from the physical and emotional wounds he had suffered the past couple of hours, he just rang the doorbell and then passed out. When he regained consciousness, he looked up at the ceiling and realized he was in his room. He heard a soft voice calling his name. It sounded so far away. He turned his head, which hurt like hell, and saw Denise sitting by him. Her eyes and nose were red. It was apparent that she had been crying.
"AJ? AJ, can you hear me?" she asked as she dabbed the cut on his forehead with a wet cloth.
"Yes."
"Oh thank God! I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up!"
"How long have I been---"
"A day."
"A day?"
"Yes. You were in pretty bad shape when I found you. But you're going to be ok now."
"How did you get me up here?"
"AJ, you weigh 120 pounds. You're not that heavy, believe me."
There was a long pause.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know what happened?"
"I….I don't know the whole story. First, Valencia showed up at the front door. That's when I knew something was wrong. Then, a rock with a note attached to it was thrown through the window. It said that if Valencia didn't go to where the note said, he'd kill you. She promised me she would bring you back. And she did."
A few stray tears escaped at the mention of Valencia's name.
"Val's dead," he managed to choke out.
"What?!"
"Damian killed her."
Denise was stunned. She didn't know what to say.
"AJ, I-I-I'm sorry," she said quietly.
"I have to go to Romania. I have to tell the others."
"You can't! You're in no shape to go traveling half way around the world! You can barely stay awake! Toni's going to call tomorrow before she leaves for the airport. I'll tell her to tell them---"
"No! I have to tell them! She died because of me! I owe them that much at least!" He struggled to sit up, but felt dizzy. He tried it again and this time succeeded. "I have to tell them!"
"AJ, lay back down! You aren't going anywhere until you get better!"
"No! I have to tell them now!"
He tried to roll out of bed, but Denise kept him from doing so.
"No! AJ, listen to me! Look at me! You are NOT leaving!"
"Mom, you don't understand! I have to---"
"I DO understand! I'm not going to stop you from doing it, but I am going to stop you from further hurting yourself! You can't do it until you get better! AJ, promise me you won't try anything until you're better!"
"I---"
She looked him in the eye.
"Promise me!"
AJ sighed and lied back down.
"Fine."
"No, say it."
"I promise."
"Thank you."
She continued to care for his head injury. He winced in pain.
"This is all I can do for now, but it will heal by itself, right?"
AJ turned the other way trying to hide the sorrow on his face.
"Is there anything I can do for you? Is there anything you want?"
A few more tears rolled down his cheeks and he spoke softly.
"I want to die."
Denise looked away in dismay and left his room. She knew he would
want
to be alone. AJ carefully rolled onto his side. All he wanted to do
was
sleep. Sleep was an escape from the cruel realities of the world. No
one
could hurt or torment you in dreams. AJ wanted to dream forever. He
wanted
to sleep for all eternity. He wanted to die. Do we go to heaven when
we
die? That question lingered in his mind as he closed his eyes and
drifted
into a deep slumber.
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