“What?”
“I’m not going to say it again, Brian.”
“I don’t understand any of this. I thought things were so good between us.”
“Well, think again.”
Brian’s anger flared, but he did his best to keep it in check. “It would be nice if you could explain this to me; how we got here, what we can do to fix it.”
Ann sighed, “Brian, you and I are two distinct people, as different as black and white. It just wasn’t meant to be.”
”But, see, that’s what I always thought made us stronger. You used to say that you felt the same. What happened?” Brian watched a thousand emotions play over her face and got lost in thoughts of his own. He’d always thought of them as A & B. Just to be cute, he imagined having their first child’s name start with C. He thought, no, he knew, that she was the one. How could she want out?
”It’s just like I said, we grew apart,” Ann hoped he’d accept that little white lie.
”There’s something you’re not telling me, a missing piece of the puzzle.”
”Damn it!” she exploded, knowing he had her figured out. “Are you purposely trying to provoke me? Why do you have to make this harder than it already is?”
”You know damn well you’re being abominable.”
She knew he was right. Damned if she’d admit it, though. “Go to hell.”
”Only because you’ll be there.”
She looked at him and felt her heart going out to him. It hurt her so much to see him looking vulnerable like this. The be all to end all was that every little bit of this was her own doing. She spoke first.
”I’m not a malevolent person, Brian, you know that. I’m only doing what’s best for us.”
Brian laughed cynically, “If this is all so good for me, why do I feel like crap?”
She smiled at his childish question. “Because it’s something new; you hate sudden changes.”
He looked her in the eyes for the first time since the conversation began and held her gaze with his own. “But I love you, Annie,” he whispered softly.
Tears welled in her eyes at the frank statement. She loved him, too; only she had to be strong and not let him know it. “Brian, don’t do this, please,” she pleaded
He lifted his hand and stroked her cheek softly and lovingly. “Don’t you see? I can’t help it. I love you. I want to get a big banner that goes all around the world that says ‘Brian loves his Annie’.”
She broke into uncontrollable sobs when he said that.
”What’s wrong, baby girl?”
She looked at him pointedly, “When was the last time you called me your Annie? How long has it been since I was your baby girl?”
Her words cut Brian to the heart when he realized that it was all true; he had neglected the most important person in his life.
She got up when she saw the realization sweep over his face. He didn’t even lift his eyes. She bent over to kiss him on the top of the head and whispered, “Goodbye, my love.” With that, she walked away.
And that was when he knew it was over. Not once since he had known her had Ann said goodbye. Always “See you later,” or something crazy like “Hasta pasta,” but never goodbye. He walked to the newsstand that had just opened. He picked up the Times and handed the change to the man behind the counter. The headline read Exploitation and Decimation of Indigenous Peoples Continues In Kosovo. But, somehow it made him think of Annie, his Annie. He missed her already, her contagious laugh and crazy ways. The nurturing spirit just aching to come out, the mystery that always kept him guessing. Reflecting, he knew the agony had just begun.
============================================================
Ann walked aimlessly through the city; her mind only on the events that had just unfolded. She was sad, heartbroken, even. But she knew that she had done the right thing. As much as she loved Brian, as many times as she pictured herself with his children, she could not stay in a relationship that was going nowhere fast. She knew from the beginning that it was going to be hard to share Brian with millions of screaming, teenage girls. But she also knew that if they each tried hard enough they could make it work. She refused to do all the work alone; Brian wasn’t contributing, so the relationship had to end.
”Then why do I feel like crap?” she asked before she realized that Brian had asked the same question.
She sighed when she came to terms with how much of a struggle getting over him was going to be.
”Oh my God! What am I gonna tell Nick?” Ann’s mind floated to her blonde friend. Brian had introduced them and he had been like her little brother while she was the big sister he never had. Not to mention how she was going to explain this to AJ. They were practically inseparable. In retrospect, Ann noticed that she had been spending more time with Nick, AJ and the others in the past few months than she had with Brian. They had spent more meaningful time on the phone than she had with her own boyfriend.
She reached her deluxe apartment, kicked off her shoes, and threw her jacket and then herself onto the couch. Tears were rolling down her cheeks before it even registered that she was sitting. Her whole body shook with the sobs that were now too strong to stop. She was too busy crying to even begin to figure out why she was doing it. All Ann wanted at that moment was for someone to wrap their arms around her. And then it hit her; she wanted that person to be Brian. That only made her cry harder.
What did I do wrong?”* she shouted to no one in particular. She
curled into
a ball and said with much less force, “Why me? Why us? We were
supposed to
make it; we were going to be different.” She never made it to bed
that
night. She remained in her protected little ball and cried herself to
sleep.
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