Austin 18 Reports

Hi, I would like to share my TOFOG experience with you.

It was a truely phenomenal thing for me. You see I went down to Texas without tickets and completely unsure whether I would be able to get a ticket!. Unfortunately I had logged on to the web site too late, all the shows were sold out but I decided I needed to take my chances in Austin anyway.

It was a pilgrimage for me. Two friends came along with me. I warned them early on that I was prepared to stand all day in the scorching heat if I had to!. We got there around 12 noon. There was already a big group of people waiting in line with their chairs, coolers, and makeshift tents to protect themselves from the sweltering heat. It was extremely hot but I didn't care. Luckily, we got tickets!.

I came to the show for two specific reasons. Firstly, I had brought along an antique cross from Jerusalem which had belonged to my mother and grandmother for Russell Crowe. I had hoped to perhaps hand it to him early in the day. But I didn't get the opportunity. He did arrive early in the afternoon on his harley but he disappeared quickly behind the shady trees in the back of Stubbs(I wonder if all the cooing women with cameras intimidated him?!!!). He did go out later and return in a SUV but he was quickly surrounded by aquaintances and Stubbs employees inside the gate. That was the end of that. David Wilkens did come out and mingle a bit with folks. He had his camcorder and he moved around amongst the group. He seemed really sweet and I stood next to him for a bit at the water cooler. I thought about handing the cross to him and asking him to give it to Russell but I decided that that would be too easy for me. I needed to do that myself. I also saw some folks who I would swear up and down were relatives of Russell's and I could have asked them too but I didn't think that would be fair to do. Secondly, I wanted to hear Russell speak and sing about Daniel Pollock. As someone who has attempted suicide and has had frequent thoughts about it in the past, this song had a special lure for me. I hadn't heard it played before(on tape,disc, or live). I hadn't been emotionally ready to hear the lyrics. All I knew was that on that night I was finally ready to hear the point of view of someone who was affected deeply by a suicide close to him. You see, it is very difficult for us to see or feel others pain about it because we are consumed by our own pain or we are completely immersed in our own dark place. My friends and I were located a fair distance from the stage but we could see and hear okay. Since it was general admission, people were constantly moving and shifting places. At one point(I think I knew the song about Daniel was coming up) I decided to move more to the side. I ended up with a better view, I was behind the VH1 camera guy but I could see clearly when he moved around while he was operating the camera.

At last Russell started speaking about Daniel. Unfortunately, I didn't hear the story. I heard only that he had worked with him on Romper Stomper and that Russell and the guys have had conversations about suicide. The rest I did not hear. Do you know why?. Because of the f***ing VIP balcony!!. Those a$$holes did nothing but chat loudly the whole f***ing time. Russell stopped, looked up at them, and announced in a ferocious tone that he shouldn't have allowed those f***ing bastards to be there!!!. He said he knew they were going to behave like that and that he should throw them out!! And that wasn't even the first time he had to stop and tell them to shut up. The first time was when he was speaking about his grandfather. I was so furious!!!. How dare they be so rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful to him, the Grunts, and us. He told them that they weren't even interested in seeing the show and he was right. I was livid. Then they played the song I had come specially to hear. It was very emotional and potent for me and I was privileged to have felt a part of it. It was so great to have seen TOFOG live. They were impressive. Russell was vibrant and sporty. The crowd(with the exception of the VIP's) was good. We really had a fantastic time!!!. PAULINE 1