AUTHOR:
Taramisu
WRITTEN: 3/16/02
E-MAIL: taramisu@channelingboards.com
SUMMARY: Buffy decides to tell her friends the truth
about her and Spike...before he can do it himself.
RATING: PG-13
Buffy carefully stood from her seat on the couch, making sure not to look anyone in the eye. The coffee mug lay empty on the end table as a small line of thick, brown goo dripped from its lip. Willow immediately ran to her side and attempted to support her frail frame. “No, it’s okay, Buffy. You don’t have to try and stand.”
She just looked at her $12 Kmart shoes that were covered in demon guts. “I…I’m alright Willow, really.”
Spike stood and with a flare of his duster, and turned toward the front door in a hasty retreat. No sense hanging around here. Best not give the whelp any additional excuse to play Kick the Spike. But the next words he heard stopped him in his tracks.
“No. I’m not alright.”
Willow’s brow creased. “Well, sweety, sit back down.” Buffy did not budge, she just spared a short glance in Spike’s general direction.
“Xander?”
Xander’s head popped up at the mention of his name, and he looked right at her. “Yeah!? What’s up Buff?”
“Willow?”
Willow just looked at her with her confused face and hand on her shoulder. “Yes?”
“Dawn.”
“What is with you?!”
“There is something I should have told you weeks ago…”
Spike’s scowl softened and he looked upward with a little sigh. Whether he wanted to stay or flee was up in the air at that moment. Did he want to hear her degrade him, and her feelings for him in public? Did he really want to witness that? Then again, could he even consider missing the way she would tell them? Would she say she was gross and wrong? Would she say she needed him? Would she say she loved him? In the end, he stayed…silent…in the corner…the way a good vampire should.
The silent seconds drifted into minutes which then expanded into hours…at least from Buffy’s perspective. How was she going to say this? If she didn’t then Spike would, and she just knew he would spill the beans in the most disgusting, abhorrent way possible. “Yeah, the Slayer and me. (Cigarette in hand, trailing smoke all around the room.) We’ve been playin’ hide the sausage. Pokin’ the pig. Passin’ the Meat Baton. Knockin’ boots. Doin’ the horizontal mambo. Ridin’ the bologna pony. Rockin’ the Casaba…”
She just knew that Xander would be angry and bitter. He hadn’t gotten over the first vampire in her life yet. And they all knew what he thought of Spike. He made no bones about the hatred he held for Spike and his kind. No matter what Spike did to aide the gang in their duties, it was never good enough. Xander would always see Angelus standing before him. But, could Buffy really blame him? After all, she had done the same thing.
Dawn. She hadn’t the foggiest idea how she would react. It could be anywhere from revulsion, to happiness, to jealousy. With her teenage sister, one just never knew.
Now, Willow was something completely different. Buffy knew what her reaction would be. She would stand there with a shocked expression on her face, but words of support and kindness would exit her mouth. If she and Tara were still together, Buffy could imagine them cuddled close at bed time tonight, quietly discussing how terrible this situation was, and how exactly did Buffy become this crazy anyhow?
Spike will be overjoyed, of course. That cocky grin will be plastered all over his face. Like the cat who ate the canary. Did she really want him here for this? Then again, did she really want him away for it? He was the only one who would be supportive. The only one. Wasn’t he always. “Enough of that Buffy. Spike is not your white knight in shining armour. He is your black pain in the ass, thorn in the side, who will not go away!”
“I…” Suddenly Buffy was acutely aware of three pairs of eyes intently plastered to her.
Willow gently nudged her verbally, “It’s okay, Buffy. We’re all here for you. You know that. I mean, how could you not? You just tried to kill us all, and we’re still here by your side. What ever you have to say…it will be alright.” The red head stopped talking and contemplated her life for a brief second. She never got this in her “best friend training course”: how to deal with your friends’ homicidal tendencies.
“Xander? You remember that guy you tried to set me up with on my birthday? Roy?”
“Richard. Yeah?”
“Well, I lied to you about him.”
“You said he wasn’t your type.”
“Yeah, well, that was kind of true, just not the reason I didn’t want to go out with him.”
“What was it then?” Xander was getting anxious. She could tell because he was reaching for the candy dish on the coffee table.
“Um, I was sort of…no I was seeing someone else.” Willow’s face instantly lifted as a smile crept to the surface.
“That’s good. I mean, that’s terrific! Do we know him? Who is it? Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Well, see, we broke up. Rather, I broke up with him.”
Xander, having vast recent experience in this matter spoke up. “Oh, Buff. I’m sorry.” He crossed the room and put a supportive hand on her shoulder. “I wish you would have told us, though.” He then turned his attention to the vampire. “See, Spike. A relationship is when two people are involved. Not just you and your sick fantasies.”
Spike stood silent and still. That cocky, confident smile appeared, but no one noticed as Buffy resumed her confession.
“I didn’t tell you, because I knew you wouldn’t approve of him.”
“How could we not approve, Buffy? Anyone you would let into you life has to be a good man.” The conversation skipped a beat before Willow continued. “Oh, God. It’s not a woman, is it?” Her face balanced between alarm and humour, not quite sure which way to go.
While the room absorbed that last comment, and the giggles commenced, Buffy squeaked out two little words. Two little words that weren’t so very little in the whole scheme of things.
“It’s Spike.”
No one thought they had heard her correctly.
“What’s Spike?” Xander eyed her suspiciously.
“My b…boyfriend, was Spike.”
“Was that his nickname? ‘Cuz, that’s kind of funny.”
“No, Xander.” This was killing her. “I’ve been sleeping with Spike. Her eyes pointedly fell onto the vampire who was readying himself for a minor physical battle with the boy.
Any minute now.
In any minute, they’ll start screaming and yelling.
‘I
have to buy a new pair of shoes.’
Any second.
Yup. Very soon now. Accusations. Insults. Physical harm.
But the screaming didn’t come. No one yelled. No one pointed fingers. No one blamed. No one accused.
Dawn walked over to Spike, while the others stood in silent contemplation. She took a cool hand in hers and spoke softly. “I’m sorry, Spike. I know you loved her.” She gently hugged him. From over her shoulder, a stunned vampire peered at his ex-girl.
Buffy turned her attention to Xander as she braced herself for the upcoming onslaught. But he just stood there, staring at Mom’s ugly painting on the wall; the one he always stared at when he had no idea how to say his next thought. “Wow. I mean. Wow. That explains a lot.” He looked up at Spike. “Push-ups in bed?” Xander’s head shook back and forth. “How could I be so blind? I mean. Wow.”
“Aren’t you going to get mad?”
Willow responded as Xander continued his contemplation of the elder Summers’ print. “Why would we get mad…er angry? I-it’s not like it’s some big surprise.”
“What?!”
“Do you think we haven’t noticed that you spend an awful lot of time at his crypt? Or, at least until Riley blew it up.”
“I did that.”
“Whatever. Do you really think we didn’t notice that little smile of yours whenever he walked into the room, immediately followed with a way-too-obnoxious scowl? Come on. We knew it would happen sooner or later.”
Buffy stared at Willow and her jaw fell onto the ground…figuratively. “What?”
“Yeah, Slayer.” Spike tore himself from Dawn and sauntered over to her. “Wake up and smell the bloody coffee. Your mates aren’t going to hate you for having good taste finally.”
Xander interrupted. “Well, now, I wouldn’t go that far, blood breath.” His gaze reverted to the canvas of blue and green swirls as his mouth uttered again, “wow.”
“Isn’t anyone going to tell me I’m crazy? I’m nuts? I’ve gone too far!? First Angel, now this! And he doesn’t even have a soul! What was I thinking?”
The three just looked at each other, finally coming to an agreement and spoke in unison, “No.”
“But. But. I’m bad. I’m wrong. I’m…”
“Oh, get over yourself, Buffy. You’re not a martyr, for crying out loud.” The young girl’s voice drew Buffy’s attention and she continued to stare at her sister slack jawed. “Live a little!”
After a good 2 minutes of silence, Willow clapped her hands once. “Alrighty then. Come on, Xander, there’s this great show I taped I wanted to show you. I’ve got your favorite popcorn and…” She wandered off, pulling Xander with her. Dawn just turned to go upstairs. “I have homework to do.” Upon reaching the middle of the staircase, the girl looked over her shoulder and addressed her sister. “You let a good one go, you know. I wouldn’t have been that stupid.”
TBC?