AUTHOR:
Taramisu
WRITTEN: 12/05/01
E-MAIL: taramisu@channelingboards.com
SUMMARY: Buffy clears the air between her ears.
RATING: PG-13
The dark figure sauntered down his eighth street that night. With Buffy locked up snuggly in her bedroom, protected by (giggle) garlic and crucifixes, there was not much else to do. He shook his head slowly with a trademark Spike grin on his face. ‘Does she really think she can keep me away with garlic?’ Given a few seconds of thought, he answered his own question.
“No!”
The full roar of his laughter filled the road, echoing off the shoe repair shoppe, the pet store, the corner market, the grey car speeding toward him…
Spike’s blonde head did a quick double take as the car pulled up right along side.
“Get in,” a serious face under long, flowing, golden hair spoke. He squinted and extended his head a bit, attempting to identify the voice’s owner. “Buffy?”
“Yeah, now get in.”
He took a careful gander in the back seat, getting in only when satisfied that no one was hidden within.
“What’s wrong, Spike? Don’t trust me?”
“Oh, bloody hell, Slayer. I can’t tell from one minute to the next what you’re gonna say or do. You’re either whispering nasty somethings in my ear, or telling me I’m not good enough to waste your precious time with. So which is it today, luv?” His head cocked to the side.
“You’ll find out soon enough, so get in.” Her soft grin revealed all and he joyfully climbed into the compact car.
**********************
“So, Slayer. To what do I owe this extreme pleasure?”
Buffy looked straight ahead at the road before her.
“Are you gonna explain this, or are we gonna play 20 sodding questions all night?”
“Well…”
Spike looked at her expectantly, but nothing happened. “Bloody brilliant, Buffy! Kidnap your vampire and drive until the sun comes up. I hope you have your Dust Buster in the back there.” Spike, determined to not sit in silence, knelt on the seat, looking around the back seat. “Oreos, ice scraper, empty soda cans, and, ew. What is this, Buffy? My but you are a slob.”
Her voice was small, as if she didn’t want to be heard.
“I‘ve figured it out.”
He froze in a very non-Big-Bad-like position, kneeling on his left knee, his right swung in between the front seats and his whole torso bent over the headrest.
“What’s that, pet? The meaning of life?”
“What? No!”
Spike threw himself back into his seat and gave her his undivided attention.
“Us.”
“Us?”
“Yeah, us.”
“There’s an us?”
“What?”
“An us. There’s an us? When did that happen?”
“Are you completely demented?”
“No.”
“Yes, there’s an us.”
“Since when? I thought I was a filthy thing you were never touching again. What happened to that?”
She sighed heavily. “Well…I’ll explain when we get there.”
“Get where?”
“There. Where we’re going.”
“And where would that be?”
“You’ll see when we get there.”
“When we get there.”
“Yes.”
“Will I like where we’re going? ‘Cuz if not, then you can just get me off…I mean, *let* me off right here.”
“You’re a pig, Spike.”
“That’s m’girl!”
**********************
With the squeak of the car’s inferior brakes, the grey vehicle came to a stop in front of a large building. Spike read the sign aloud and laughed. “The Hyperion. Oh, Slayer. Nice choice. But I think there’s probably places much closer to SunnyD in which to shag.”
“Spike, this is going to be hard for you to understand, so I’ll say it slowly. We. Are. Not. Here. To. Have. Sex. Okay?”
“O. K.” He grinned an Evil grin. “But would it hurt you to consider it?” He snuck ever so slightly closer to her with a seductive pose, earning himself a shove in the opposite direction.
*********************
Her knock did not meet with an answer, so they shrugged their shoulders and quietly entered the hotel.
“Well? We’re here and I still don’t know what’s going on. Care to explain, luv?”
“We’re here to clear the air.”
“Clear the air?”
“Will you stop that?!”
“Stop what?” His Evil grin had returned.
“Never mind.” She turned on her heels, calling out, “Angel!”
“What?! We’re here to see ANGEL?! Are you bloody daft, girl?”
*************************
“What’s all the noise down there, Fred?! I’m working on the invoices.”
The deep voice echoed through the great hall but did not receive the response for which it was searching. Spike cringed as the hair on the back of his neck stood on end, while Buffy’s previously neutral face fell just barely. They each drew into themselves involuntarily.
Suddenly, without warning, Spike spun around in an attempt to leave, but Buffy deftly grabbed his arm and glared.
“I’m not staying here for whatever sort of fun you have planned. If you want a threesome, go find another vampire.”
Buffy’s face mirrored the hurt his harsh words caused. “Just stay, Spike. This is important. I promise no Spike bashing, ok?” After no answer, she continued. “I need you.”
“Oh, bloody hell, woman. Everytime I try to get out, you just suck me back in.”
“Dumb movie, Spike.”
“Yeah, well…”
“Buffy?” His imposing figure stood at the top of the elegant staircase, reminding her of the way she’d seen him in her mind’s eye for years now. Always on top, always larger than life, and always better than her. Was this why she had let him walk out of her life three years ago?
“Hi, Angel…”
Before she had even realized it, Angel was standing behind her, holding Spike against the wall with a stake to his chest.
It was like a portrait…a freeze frame of life. The moment when all things changed.
Buffy was the first to move. “Angel, put the stake down.” His head turned to her with lightning speed.
“What?!”
“Angel, put the stake down.”
A young woman ran down the stairs, then some squeaking came out of her mouth, but no one noticed. The world was just the three. Vampire, Slayer, Vampire. All in black. All standing terrified of each other. Once so very close, now estranged and, well, just strange.
“Just give me one reason why I should let you live, William.”
Spike couldn’t move. He was paralyzed with fear, frustration, and confusion. But then, there was a small hand on Angel’s, and a soft voice. “Because I love him.”
***************
It was more a revelation than a decision, really. She had thought about it for months now. Since the very first time she saw him after “the resurrection”. He had been so soft, and quiet and damn helpful. Not like Spike at all, really, but also *so* like Spike. Never once did she entertain the possibility that he could ever mean something greater to her than Slaying Buddy…at least consciously.
The blonde vampire sifted through his bag of emotions to pick the right one, but only came up with “shocked”. Sure, he had dreamt of this moment forever it seemed. He had been her friend, confidante, partner. He had even been allowed to caress her body and feel a physical intimacy. But never once had he actually allowed himself to believe she would ever see him as an equal, let alone give him her heart. So, here, in this place of all places, with her beloved Angel standing in front of her, she decides that she loves him? Will wonders ever cease?
And Angel. His mind was truly blank. Horrified. Blank with horror.
************************************
“Um, hello.” The young girl with her hands in her sleeves waved.
Three heads turned to her slowly.
“I-I’m Fred. And you are?”
“Fred. Yes, Angel mentioned you once or 20 times when we met last month.” Buffy violently snatched the stake from between her men and continued to shake Fred’s hand. “Buffy. I’m Buffy.”
Fred’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Buffy! Yes, I’ve heard of you.” She bowed her head and giggled just a bit. “How are things?”
Angel interrupted rudely. “Fred. We have other things to talk about here, okay. Just go up to your room and…sleep or something.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m always getting in the way where I’m not wanted. Like that time when I was…”
“Fred!”
“Oh, yeah. Well, I’m off.” She started to run off toward the stairs, but then turned to address her hunk of burning Angel, “can you guys keep it down? Your son just got to sleep.”
All together now: “SON!?”
“Um, Angelus, you gonna offer me a drink, ‘cuz I think we’re all gonna need one.”
“No alcohol, Spike. I think we have enough problems without adding a drunk Buffy in the mix, don’t you?”
“Guys. I realize that what Fred said warrants discussion, but I would really like to know what that Evil piece of shit is doing in my home and why you claim to love it!” Angel stood pointing at Spike, his finger in the small bloody hole left from the stake.
“Hey now! Bloody wanker…” Spike stepped forward, but Buffy stood in between, a rock between two hard places.
“Angel, go sit down and we’ll have a little chat. It seems Willow and Cordelia don’t talk as much as they should.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you explain this!”
Buffy sighed. Spike giggled. “You have wonderful timing, luv.”
“That I do.” “Angel. Spike has gone through some serious changes since you left m…Sunnydale.”
“Oh, bloody hell. Do we have to go through the whole puppy bit again?”
“Would *you* like to explain it? If so, just go ahead, don’t let me stand in the way.”
Angel rolled his eyes and whispered to himself, “Oh, yeah. A match made in heaven.”
All together now: “Hey!”
Buffy’s shook her head. “Now, remember Riley?”
“Oh, sure, bring Captain Cardboard into this, why don’t we?”
“Spike?”
“Yes, pet?”
“Zip it.”
Finally, the Slayer took her ensouled vampire and led him away from Spike. “Riley was a member of a government installation that captured and experimented on demons.”
“Yes, you told me that. You also told me that he left you for the jungle.”
“Thank you ever so much for bringing that up, Angel. Anyhow…they managed to capture Spike…”
“Hey, now! I was distracted.”
“Yes, Spike. Now, can I finish?” “They captured him and surgically implanted a microchip in his brain that delivers pain whenever he tries to hurt humans. So, he can’t kill anything except demons.”
Buffy looked at Angel expectantly. But all she got was a blank stare.
“Spike. Chip. No bitey. No killey. Good guy. Got it?”
“Hey again! I am not Good!”
“Not helping, Spike. And, yes, you are. Get over your Big Bad persona for just a microsecond here.”
After a bit of silence, Angel spoke. “So, you settled?”
“Settled? What does that mean?”
“Oh, God. Why did I do it? I thought you could have a normal, carefree life without me. But look what happened. The second I left, you took the next best thing.”
Before he knew it, Spike was on him and blood was flying.
“Spike! Stop!” She had to physically part the two. Nothing was ever easy with them. Even when they were on the same side, their relationship was a strain.
“I’m not going to stand here and listen to this wanker insult you…and ME!” “She didn’t settle, mate. She finally found what she needed.”
“And what is that? A wild roll in the hay and nights of fear, wondering if one day you’ll eat her friends and family?”
“No, that’s what she got with you…only the roll in the hay prob’ly wasn’t worth it.”
Buffy finally screamed at the top of her lungs. “That’s it! Stop it, both of you! This is not some pissing contest. We’re not here for a childish fistfight in a fit of rage. Get off each other, shut up and pay attention!”
With the two finally quiet, a shrill baby’s cry was heard from upstairs and an unpleasant sounding Fred stomped through the hallway. Angel tried to follow her, but was stopped by Slayer hands. “She can take care of…him. I can’t have you going to a child in this state, Angel.”
“So, what do you want from me, Buffy? My blessings to screw an animal?”
Buffy instinctively looked at Spike, silently pleading for him to maintain some calm and patience. As always, he fed off of her look and sat quiet…just a small sneer on his face.
“If you had bothered to keep in touch with us, Angel, then you would know that things are different.”
“Yes, I know that, Buffy. You died, went to Hell then Willow brought you back. Now you’re trying to adjust. If you need help, I can be there for you, Buffy. I’m only in LA, not out of your life.”
“No. That’s where you’re wrong. You’ve been out of my life for a long while now. I’ve just not had the strength to admit it. You were my world, Angel. I needed you more than words can say, but you didn’t care what I wanted. You left anyhow. And before you even say it, no, it was not for my own good. It was for *your* own good. It was too hard for you to deal with. You loved me but couldn’t give me what you thought I wanted. Well, let me tell you, buster. I don’t want the sunlight and picnics and coffee. I tried it. I tried it with Pike, Owen, Scott, Parker and Riley. And where are they now? Dead or gone. I’m not normal, Angel. It’s time I stopped trying to make myself believe that I am.” Whether she was trying to convince herself or Angel, Spike did not know. But the words warmed his heart regardless.
She took a deep breath to keep the tears away. It wouldn’t do for him to see her cry. She had to look together. All together. Like she knew exactly what she wanted and needed.
“All this time, I’ve subconsciously believed all those things you tried to convince me of. Remember just before you left what you said? You called us a ‘freak show’.” Spike looked at her in horror and understanding. “I loved you, Angel. How can love be anything like you described it?”
She swallowed hard. “Spike, he’s…he’s. God, how the hell do you explain this? He’s not William the Bloody any more. He’s grown beyond that.”
“He doesn’t have a soul, Buffy. Just a piece of machinery. It’s like a serial killer in prison. What happens when it fails?”
Two inappropriate giggles wofted through the hall. Then Buffy and Spike spoke at the same time, over each other. Spike said, “it doesn’t bloody work on her anymore.” And Buffy said, “what happens when *you* get a happy?”
“Whoa. Wait. Spike, you can just kill her right now? Why haven’t you? Waiting until the right moment?”
“Naw. That’s your gig, mate. I love the girl. She means something…everything to me. I would sooner kill m’self than her or anything she cares about. Take this chip out right now, and I’ll still feel the same way. As for what Buff just said, you get a happy, and NO ONE is safe. Not even those you love so much. That little tyke up there.” Spike motioned toward the stairs with a slight movement of his head. “Dead. Midnight snack.” Spike thought for a brief second, the continued. “Me? At least I know who I am…what I am. I’m no saint, but there won’t come a day where I’ll betray those I love. You will never be able to say that. *Now*, who’s the ‘dirty thing’?”
Suddenly, Buffy shook her head. “No, I didn’t want it to be this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, Angel. I just wanted to…”
“To what, Buffy? Rip my heart out? Tell me that instead of respecting the love we’ve shared for all these years, that you’ve decided to have a torrid love affair with a soulless demon? Well, no matter *how* you could have put that, it would have hurt me.”
Buffy moved closer to him, trying to ignore the jealous vibes radiating off of Spike. “Angel. Be honest. You haven’t been pining away for me here in LA. I mean…” Buffy motioned toward the stairs with her arm.
“It was a mistake.”
“Well, yeah. I figured you wouldn’t be thinking of using protection.” Somewhere in the back of her mind, Buffy began to panic, but she shoved it to the far corners of her brain, promising to deal with this concept of vampires and babies when her love wasn’t being threatened by a jealous boyfriend. Which led her to a humorous thought. Since when did a Slayer have to worry about Vampires fighting over her love? ‘No, my life’s not complicated at all…’
“Who?”
“Darla.”
Once again, the scene froze.
It was Spike who broke the silence with his patented wit. “I see. So, who put a chip in *her* head?”
Buffy chimed in. “Yeah. Last I heard, she was one of the Bad Guys.”
No answer. “Angel?”
No answer. “Angel!”
“Yeah, well, I was in a really bad place.”
Buffy stood and began to gesture wildly like an Italian with ADHD. “Oh! So I have sex with a nice vampire other than *you* and it’s a wrong, terrible, Evil thing. But *you* boff that Evil Harlot and it’s all, ‘oh, I’m a virile man who can do whatever he wants… I can even risk turning into an Evil Thing myself just for a night in the hay…’” Her rant was swiftly cut short by a English Vampire’s laughter. “And why is this so funny, *Spike*!?”
“Sit down, luv, before you strain something.”
“I can’t! You! You! You’re a bad, bad person! You left me so that I could have a normal life, but you went off and, and…EW!” Before anyone knew what was happening, a large, broody vampire flew across the Hyperion, landing in a heap in the corner. From upstairs, the shrill screaming resumed. Fred stomped yet again.
“That’s it, Angel. I came here to clear the air, and now it’s just mucked up. So, here. Let me summarize for you and Spike. I lived my Slayer life. I sacrificebackant Spike. I need his strength. I need his humour. I need his sensibility. I need him. I love him.” Buffy turned to go, but hesitated for just one last comment. “And we’re using condoms from now on.”
She stomped out of the hotel, leaving Spike behind for just one last moment.
“Hey, you can’t argue with a Slayer.”
End