AUTHORS: dru as Angelus & Evil Willow as
Xander (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Mile High Club
PAIRING : Angelus/Xander
RATING : NC17 (highly smutty
with plenty of salty goodness!)
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters. We just like putting them in lewd positions!
NOTE: We wrote this as role-play
on Yahoo! IM! We had *so* much fun! We've co-authored before but never live like this! We hope you enjoy the fruits of our
lab- okay, so it wasn't really *work*. It was more like play!
=====================================================================
Candles?
And as he walks into the bedroom, he puts more out there. Okay, I'm confused.
I wonder
if I'm doomed to spend eternity confused?
I'm not
going to think about it. I'm just going to relax, in the tub. Not wondering
what he's doing or where he is. And I'm most *definitely* not missing his
presence. Besides, when I close my eyes, I think I can feel him. And if I'm
right, he's still in the bedroom.
The
room with the really big bed that looked pretty comfortable. Shit, no. Not
wanting to find out if I'm right about that. I just want--
Where's
that internal shut-the-fuck-up device, when a guy *really* needs it?
I give
up trying not to think after a few more minutes, and pull the drain plug. Then
I get to my feet and grab a towel off the shelf, drying myself quickly. Well
not *too* quickly. I'm not anxious to be in there, with him, on that really
comfortable bed--
ARGH!
I leave
the boxers on the end of the bed for him. Okay. My job tonight? Forget the
rules. Well, some of them. Lesson nine has yet to be taught, so I guess I'm not
going to completely forget the rules.
But
number nine is the one I like best.
I have
the cream for his abused hole. Although he probably will not *willingly* let me
put it on him. But he won't have a choice in the matter, because I find that
although fast healing is something we vampires enjoy, internal damage takes a
little longer to heal than external. And this is pretty internal.
I hear
him pull the plug and I call, "Blow the candles out on your way, would
you?"
Meanwhile,
I've slipped out of my clothes, save for my crimson silk drawstring pants that Darla
bought me for Christmas last year. I've lit candles out here too, and some
incense. I know, doesn't sound very masculine, but I really do love having nice
smells in the house. The smell of death is so overrated among vampires.
I blow
out the candles and then glance up where the mirror *would* be, if this were a
house of humans. Guess the no reflection thing does kind of irritate him. Okay,
enough stalling. I wrap the towel around my waist and walk out into the
bedroom.
I saw
the candles, but I didn't notice the incense earlier. And I'm past confused and
well into bewildered. Then I see him, sitting there on the bed. Shit. It should
really be illegal to look that--
NOT
going to finish that thought. Not in a million years.
As I
look around, I think I'm starting to get a grasp on the answer to the 'now
what' question. And the answer is less revolting to me than it should be. In
fact, I think my body is all for a little 'now what'. And as I stand there,
trying to look less awkward than I feel, I put my hands in front of me. I have
to do *something* to try to hide the fact that my cock is causing an obvious
tent in the towel.
He stands
there awkwardly trying to hide his arousal. Well, I certainly can't have that
and as much as I don't wanna be- "Don't hide yourself from me," the
sire! Damn. I didn't *mean* to say it, but I can't ignore the dominant side of
my blood. "You should never be afraid of what you want," I tell him
as I stand up. "You should never be afraid of taking what you want."
He looks
down to see the boxers on the bed and moves for them, but I'm to him before he
can really get them. I catch his hand and pull him into my body. I start
nibbling down his neck before sucking on the scar.
I'm not
sure how receptive he is, but I know he wants me. He might not *want* me, but
his body does. And that's something. I'll just have to make his mind catch up
with his body.
Unfortunately,
we're going to drop back to square one, first.
I pull
away and look at him. "Xander, you can have the boxers if you like, but
*after*-"
After
wh- No. Not asking, because I already know. And I'm not interested in going
there again. Ever.
And I
don't care if my body is attracted him. It's always been *such* a great judge
of people to be attracted to. Remember Faith? Yeah, I have a habit of being
attracted to people who try to kill me. Or succeed, in Angelus' case.
"You
said don't be afraid to take what I want. Well, I want the damn shorts."
Okay, maybe I'm not as afraid of him as I thought I was. Or maybe it's just
that I'm still as stupid as ever. And I'm sure I'll pay for that. But I
couldn't just let him get away with implying that I want *him*.
Even if
it *is* true.
Well... I
walked *right* *in*to *that* one!
"And
you can have them, but," I grab the cream from the bed. "It's healing
cream and I'm putting it on you."
Like
hell he *is.* Anger. Anger is good. Very, very good. Stay with it.
"Give
it to me. I'll do it myself," I reply, holding my hand out.
"No,"
I tell him. "You won't."
I back
away, because I don't want him to feel threatened. However he already is
feeling that way, because in his mind I basically raped him earlier and then
brought him into Darla's home, where I knew he wouldn't be welcome. But he
can't leave me, because I opened the sire/childe bonds and they're too strong
for such a young vampire to fight off. Especially when I'm right in front of
him.
"You
won't do a good job of it because you can't see what you're doing," I
explain. "Just lie down on the bed."
"No."
I wince when I see his anger. But at the same time, I don't care. I think I
prefer him angry with me, rather than pretending to care about the injuries
*he* inflicted.
"*I'll*
put the stuff on. Or I'll deal without it. With vamp healing, I'll be fine in a
couple days."
I growl
softly and look over at him. "Don't make me do this the hard way,
Boy." And as soon as it's escaped my lips, I regret it. Damn it! Why am I
so fucking stupid?
My
relationship with Will was a helluva lot easier, because I didn't pull this
shit with him!
'Course
he also almost got us killed about twice every week and once more on Sundays-
there *must* be a better way.
"Xander,"
I say as I step toward him, "You can fight me on anything you want
*except* your health."
I can't
help it. I laugh. "Since you caused the bleeding in the first place, I'm
having a hard time believing you want to help me heal. I know you're not trying
to soothe your conscience, cuz you don't have one of those. So what is this?
Another weird control thing?"
Okay.
Number one: I *don't* apologize.
Number
two: I *DON'T* apologize.
Just so
I'm clear.
"Do
you *want* to give Darla a reason to kill you? To *order* me to kill you?"
"How
is MY not wanting you anyfuckingwhere NEAR me going to matter to Darla?!"
I yell. "I'll obey you, I'll obey her. I'll be perfectly civil. I'm even
quite clear on the fact that I won't be able to keep you from fucking me,
whenever you want. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let you do *that* and
then turn around and pretend that you care that I'm in pain, afterward!
"You
and I both know I'm just a new toy. Don't insult my intelligence by trying to
pretend otherwise."
Wow,
that was probably the single most insane thing I've ever done. But it feels
good. For the moment. I'm sure I'll think differently, after I've been beaten
senseless.
"Being
a vampire means abiding by rules and traditions that you might not like, but
are a part of. It means doing things you don't wanna do but understanding why.
"*You*
came without permission and you were punished like a thousand before you were
and like a thousand more after will be. If you don't like it, you know where
the sun is.
"*Darla*
is looking for any excuse to make you burn. If she hears you disobeying me or
defying me, we're both in for it. And as much as I'm sure you'd love to see me
in chains right about now, you'd be right there with me. And believe me, Darla
is way better than *I* am at causing pain and *maintaining* it."
I take another
step toward him so I'm within six inches of him. "Now you can make it hard
on us all and be dust in two weeks, *or* you can lie down on the bed and let me
try to help you. But I guarantee if you're not healed before Darla calls for
you, you will wish you had let me."
I lean in
to kiss him softly-
I push
him away. "You want me to obey you? Fine. But you could at least do me a
favor and stop lying as to what your motives are for this. You don't care about
my pain. You just want me healed faster, so you won't have to wait as long to
fuck me."
I know,
when I say it, that it's a low blow. Because I *am* having a hard time *not*
believing that he cares that I'm in pain. But that doesn't make sense, so I'm
trying to deny it. If I keep denying it, hopefully I'll stop thinking it soon.
"I
*do* care if you're in pain or not," I tell him, although I don't think he
believes me. NO. By the look in his eyes I *know* he doesn't believe me. Yet.
"If
I didn't care, I wouldn't have turned you. I wouldn't have made you mine."
I close the distance between us and place my hand on his cheek so he'll look at
me. "And you're right. I want you to heal faster so I can show you *good*
it can be too...
"But-
my job as your sire is to make sure you survive and you would not have been
able to if I hadn't-" I trail it off. He can call it whatever he wants.
"But don't you see? If she hadn't *felt* my pain in her blood, like *I*
feel *yours*, then she wouldn't have cared enough to threaten you. She wouldn't
have cared enough to want to make you bleed. But she knows how much I-"
I cup his
face with my hands and say, "I made you my childe because I wanted a
childe, not a fuck-toy. I've got them. And now we've got the nasty business out
of the way and Darla's agreed to give you a chance. And you're hurt and I wanna
help you because I'm your sire."
He's
probably lying. Just saying everything possible to make me trust him again. And
I shouldn't believe him. I'll just end up paying for it, later. And did I
mention he's lying?
But
it's a really good lie. Everything he said makes perfect sense. Well, perfect
sense in the twisted logic of demons, I mean. Especially what he said about
Darla. She reacted *really* strongly toward me. Too strongly, if I'm just a
fuck-toy. And she *does* know Angelus. She'd have to. They've been together a
few centuries, at least.
And if
she doesn't think I'm just a fuck-toy, then how can I believe it?
Damn.
I'm beginning to think like demons do. Oh wait, I *am* a demon. Oh well, that's
okay, then.
And
when I look up at him, I know what to believe. There's something in his eyes,
something I've been too angry to see. And I'm still angry, but getting less so
by the minute. He's not lying. I guess he helped his case further by not
beating me at any point during my recent rant.
He's
waiting for me to say something. And I haven't been at a loss for words, yet.
But it takes me a minute to figure out what to say now. "I believe
you."
Exit
stage left and breathe a sigh of relief.
"Good,"
I say trying to conceal how good I feel now. "Now, I won't do anything you
don't want tonight, except the cream. It really will help. It's magically
enhanced. I actually found a witch who could do it. You'll be completely healed
within ten hours."
I look over
at the bed and back at him, "Now, would you *please* lay down?"
I'm
supposed to be reassured by that 'anything I don't want' thing, I'm sure. But
I'm not, because it has to do with the issue of what *I* want. And that makes
things more complicated.
But I
bet he knows that, which is why he said it that way. In fact, I *know* it.
Crazy
me for thinking that being a vampire would make my life less complicated. I'm
doomed to live a complicated life, because I will always be, on some level,
Xander Harris. And I just *get* myself into these situations. In fact, I ask
for them. I run toward them. I...
You'd
think the internal babbling could've stopped, though. I mean, would that really
be *too* much to ask?
Okay,
focus on the issue. Issue being that Angelus is offering something that will
make the 'Ow fuck it hurts' go away within ten hours. All complicated things
aside, I guess I'll take his offer.
I nod
and walk over to the bed. Ignoring the urge to continue the internal babbling,
I crawl onto the bed and lie down on my stomach. And I'm not tense, not at all.
I'm
relieved when he actually crawls onto the bed. He lies there for a few seconds
before I move. I crawl over him up the bed and place one knee between his legs
and the other to the side of his left leg.
I put my
hands on the sides of his chest and kiss the back of his neck softly before
sitting back on my heels. "Xander, lift your hips a little. I've gotta
take the towel off."
Oh yeah.
I guess that's necessary. He moves his hands to the towel and I lift my hips,
so he can pull it off. I hope he just does it fast, before I can lose my nerve
and decide to do something stupid. Like run.
I open
the bottle up and put a little of the cream on the palms of my hands. I rub
them together and then place my hands on his shoulder blades first. I slide
them down to the sides of his ribs and back up again, slowly kneading his
muscles.
God, he's
so beautiful. Why the Soul never noticed before, I'll never know!
He's way
better than the slayer ever could have dreamed of being! Maybe one day I'll
tell him that.
He seems
pretty receptive to my hands so I take the chance to get more cream on my
fingers and spread him so I can start to heal him from within.
Okay,
I'll admit it, he had me practically melting under his fingertips. But then his
hands moved to my ass. And I unmelted, really fast.
But I'm
not going to do anything stupid, like run or try to fight back. He's not trying
to hurt me. I just have to keep repeating that to myself. Over, and over, and
over.
I know. I
feel the panic, but I keep my fingers gentle as I slowly push one inside,
covered in cream. I start massaging his tight passage and he involuntarily
clamps down on my digit. I stifle a groan, or *try* to anyway.
When the
cream is gone from my finger, I pull it out and add more. Pull out. Add. Rinse.
Repeat- I've been watching too much television. That'll change, now that I have
someone interesting...
"Just
relax," I say softly, before I start to nibble on his neck while my other
hand continues to rub his back.
"Relax?"
And that was a squeak. I can admit it. Partly because it hurts a little. Partly
because it doesn't hurt enough.
And I'm
trying not to move. Because my cock is still hard and when I do move, it rubs
against the sheets. Nice, satin sheets. Okay, not the point really. The point
being that if I get enough friction on my cock, I'll come. And I'm not supposed
to do that. (I'll never forget *that* rule.) So I just have to stay still.
And
fuck, This just isn't good. Because I'm too close to coming. I can't help it.
God, I can feel it. And I could try to get my hand to my cock, but I probably
wouldn't stop myself in time. And now I remember that this is how I got into my
current 'Ow fuck it hurts' state of mind in the first place. No, it's not fair!
Okay. I
add some more cream on two fingers and slide them inside him. She scratched his
prostate and I have to rub some on it.
"Xander,"
I whisper in his ear, "You can come if you need to." And with that, I
start rubbing the cream into him. Small circles and light pressure but I smell
the immediate lust coursing through his dead veins.
"Xander,
you can come if you need to."
Huh? is
my first reaction. And then he pushes deeper inside me. I whimper because it's
painful. But then he starts rubbing that spot inside me. The same one as
before. The same spot his bitch of a sire scratched.
And, OH
FUCK is my reaction to that.
I'm not
sure when I started babbling out loud. "Shit... oh... yeah...
pleasedon'tstop....ohfuck....s-sireplease..." I can't take it. I'm so
fucking close. And I need...
I raise
myself up on my knees, so I can touch my cock. I'm sure it won't feel as good
as his hand. But it'll do, since I can't seem to put the words together to ask
him to touch me.
I seem to
feel his urgency and when he called out my name, when he pleaded with his
sire... fuck, I almost came. I'll admit it.
Then he
raises himself up onto his knees and I see him slip his hand under his body to
touch himself. And *I* want to touch him. And I know he wants it too, unless he
doesn't.
"Xander,"
I murmur in his ear, "Do you want me to touch you?" I ask, as I step
up my onslaught of fingers on his prostate and increase the pressure.
I gasp
and have to brace myself with both hands so I won't collapse. My whole body is
trembling from the things he's making me feel. It's weird, though. Because
there is still a little pain, but it seems to make the pleasure even more
intense. It must be a demon thing.
And
then his words register. Oh. Oh shit. How could he know that? "I..."
I moan when he increases the pressure on my prostate. "Yes," I
whimper. "Pleasetouchme!"
I slip my
hand around his waist quickly and it's still slick from the cream, which makes
him pass through my grip nice and easy. I kiss his neck and shoulder as I move
my fingers inside him.
"Just
let go," I whisper into his ear. "Ride it out, Xand. Ride my
hand."
Oh god.
He's... and it feels... And I shouldn't be enjoying this, but-
Shut
up. Shut up and enjoy it!
That's
actually a really good idea.
"Ohfuck,"
I groan, when he strokes my cock harder. And I can't help myself. I start
thrusting up into his hand and then pushing back against his fingers. It feels
like... nothing I've ever felt before.
And I'm
gonna come. Too soon. I don't want it to end. But I can't hold back--
"SIIIIIIRE!"
Oh wow.
And that's all I can think. Just wow.
I can't
believe he... and I let him... and ...
His body
is so gorgeous when he comes. He arches his back and throbs in my hand and then
shoots, calling my name.
Just
about the most perfect thing I've ever seen.
I take
the few seconds during his orgasm and immediately after to push my fingers in a
little farther than he'd probably be comfortable with, in order to spread the
cream around.
I pull my
fingers out as he collapses on the bed. I glance at his spent body for a
second, before going into the bathroom to wash my hands of the substance.
"It
should be better by tomorrow afternoon," I tell him as I come back in and
place the shorts near his hand. "Sleep well."
I'm a
little surprised. No, a lot surprised. I know he didn't come yet. And he didn't
even try to...
I guess
I really don't know him as well as I thought I did. And, here's another
shocking fact: I want to fix that.
And
truthfully, I also want him to stay. I can admit that to myself. But can I
admit that to him? After a few seconds of argument with myself, I decide. Just
as he's at the door. "Wait."
I freeze
as my hand just barely touches the doorknob. "What?" I ask, still
facing the door.
"I...
um. I mean... You don't... uh...." Funny how I'm perfectly capable of
finding the words when I'm angry, but hardly any other time. I need to work on
that. "Angelus. Sire...." Very good. You know his name and title. Now
I'm sure you can manage other words too. And what would be really good is if
you could put them into sentences, too!
I hate
it when my subconscious gets sarcastic with me.
"You
don't have to leave." I sigh. Stating the obvious, there. Let me try that
again. "I... I don't..." Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out!
"I don't want you to go."
I whip
around on my heels and look at him lying there, on his side, looking up at me.
I just don't know what to say.
He's
really hard to read, most of the time. Like now, for instance. He's turned to
look at me, but I can't tell what he's thinking.
I
suppose he could be thinking 'huh?' That's what part of me is thinking. After
all the things I said - well, yelled - at him earlier, the logical conclusion
would be that I want him to be elsewhere.
But
that wouldn't be the truth of the matter.
Especially
when I didn't even *mean* most of those things I said. And actually these might
be good things to say to him. "But maybe you want to go. And I wouldn't
blame you, after all the things I said. I didn't... I was just angry." And
hurt.
"I
don't *want* to hurt you, Xander," I tell him as I stand there. "I
never did."
I don't
really want to go over there right now, so I just stay where I am. "If I
wanted that, I wouldn't have been there when you woke up. I wouldn't have taken
you hunting. But there are rules.
"Rules
I didn't follow with Spike, hence her intense hatred of him. I don't want to
condemn you to his fate with her. You understan-"
"You
don't have to explain anymore," I interrupt him as I sit up. I pull the
sheet over myself, because I feel awkward sitting there naked. "I do
understand, and I think I did before you tried to explain the first time. But
like I said, I was angry. Just because someone understands something, doesn't
mean they'll like it."
"So
that's why I lashed out at you. And I didn't even believe most of what I
accused you of. I know you didn't just turn me so I could be your new
toy," I admit. "I don't understand why... but that's another
issue."
I walk
over to the bed quickly and sit in front of him. "I turned you because I
wanted you," I tell him. "Because I wanted you, before. When Buff
freed me of that soul, I wanted you."
I move a
little closer to him and repeat, "I *wanted* you, Xander. For myself.
Because I'm selfish."
I place
my hand over the scar on his neck from where I sucked the last breath from him.
"Then when I saw you on that plane, I knew I could have you. I knew you'd
be mine, and you *are*."
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