AUTHORS: dru as Faith & Evil Willow as
Xander (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Mile High Club
PAIRING : Faith/Xander
RATING : NC17 (highly smutty
with plenty of salty goodness!)
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters. We just like putting them in lewd positions!
NOTE: We wrote this as role-play
on Yahoo! IM! We had *so* much fun! We've co-authored before but never live like this! We hope you enjoy the fruits of
our lab- okay, so it wasn't really *work*. It was more like play!
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Good. I'm glad I got her off my
case. Now I can just relax and try to enjoy the rest of the flight.
I close my eyes and attempt to
sleep. I'm not feeling guilty about making her feel bad. She's a killer, for
God's sake! If it weren't for Angel, I'd just be another one of her victims.
I look over at her and sigh.
Damn it. I'm just really bad at being mean. I can't even hold grudges,
apparently. Because I *do* feel bad for making her feel bad. Well, shit.
I put
my hand on her arm. "Okay, so I'm a jerk for bringing that up. Especially
since, from what I heard, you were trying to change. So I'm sorry. This whole
weird situation just caught me off-guard."
I shrug. "I treated you
like a whore. Only fair for you to treat me like what I *am*." And then I
put the headphones on and turn the radio on. Perfect.
//Crawling in my skin...
Consuming all I feel... Fear is how I fall... Confusing what is real//
I can't help but sing along
softly to myself.
//Against
my will I stand beside my own reflection. It's haunting how I can't seem to
find myself again. My walls are closing in.//
Okay, apology taken care of. I'm
not feeling guilty anymore. I'll just take that nap now.
And no, I'm not going to get
sucked into her world again. That was my mistake last time. I've got my own
dysfunctions to deal with, they keep me quite busy, thank you very much. I look
at my watch. Only two hours and forty-five more minutes.
The flight attendant stops next
to me. "Can I get you two anything to drink?" she asks.
"Beer.
Whatever kind you've got," I reply, handing her the money. I nudge Faith.
"Drink?"
"What's
the drink of whores?" I mumble before saying, "Water."
"You're
not a whore," I mutter under my breath once the flight attendant has moved
on. "You've got problems. I've never met a person who isn't messed up in
some way. It's a fact of life. My advice on how to deal with it? Denial.
Therapy's too expensive. And yes, I *am* speaking from personal experience on
that."
"Aren't
I?" I ask as I take the headphones off. "I used sex to get what I
want. And when that didn't work, I killed people." I rub my forehead and
push my hair back. "I'm not proud of what I've done. I'm not proud of who
I was. And I'm sorry for using you the way I did."
There. It's off my chest. Not
that it'll make much of a difference. But... at least I can cross him off my
list. And he's not laughing in my face or slugging me like Cordelia did. And
he's not insulting me yet. So... it's done.
"Just
forget I'm here," I say as I turn back to the window while curling my legs
under me on the seat, "Everyone else does." I mumble and hope he
didn't hear me.
"I
seriously doubt that," I reply. "And I'm not just saying that because
you're beauti... um. I mean, there's no way anyone could not know you were in
the room..." Yes, Alexander Harris is still as smooth as ever.
"Apology accepted and I'll just shut up now and stop babbling."
"You
think I'm beautiful?" I ask in awe as I turn to him.
Damn it. She caught that.
I look over at her, but her
expression isn't laughing at me. Good. "Well, yeah, Faith. I mean, I know
I've never had women falling all over me but I wouldn't have sex with just
*anyone* who offered. I'm not like that.
"I
liked you and I thought that you just needed someone to be on your side. And
yes, I also thought you were beautiful. You still are." I turn away again,
because I know I'm blushing.
I lean
over and kiss his cheek softly. "You're the only one who ever thought
so."
"Not
likely," I reply. And I think it's time to change the subject. "So,
what brought you to Chicago?"
"I
had a pick up. I've gotta take it up to Modesto, so I'm flying to LA and then
driving north. You?"
"I've
lived here for the past four years. I thought getting away from the Hellmouth
would make life easier for me and Anya - my wife. Turns out *I* was the
problem, not the demons." I realize I sound really self-pitying so I add,
quickly, "I'm over it, though. It's been six months; it's all water under
the bridge. I'm not sure if I'll stay here or what, now..."
"Sorry
to hear that. You deserve better. I always thought you did. You were too nice
to pine over Buffy or Cordelia." Then, I clear my throat as our dinner
trays are delivered. "So... how are the rest of your friends?"
"Fine,
I guess," I reply. "I haven't really kept up with all of them. Willow
lets me in on the big news, such as the wedding."
"Oh,
why not?"
"Why
not what?" I ask. I know what she wants to know, but I'm stalling while I
think up a good answer.
"If
you don't wanna... I mean I have no right to even ask." I take another
mouthful of the ziti, which is pretty good. "So are you working?"
"Yeah,
construction," I answer. "And I don't keep up with anyone other than
Willow, because they've never bothered to try to keep up with me. I don't blame
them. I *was* just 'the guy who always got in the way', back on the
Hellmouth." Or, as my dad used to phrase it: a useless little piece of
shit.
"I don't think that's
true. You tried to help me." I offer. "I was just too stupid to take
you up on the offer. And you *did* help in the fights. You got our back from
the sidelines. There's something to be said for having eyes in the back of your
head."
And now I've said too much,
although it *is* nice to be talking with him again. I always did like him.
I *do*
wonder, if that night, if I *would* have killed him.
"You
mean I deflected the demons' attention off of you guys and onto me?" I
reply. "Yeah, I guess that can be considered useful to some. To Buffy and
Giles, though, it was just an added danger, since Buffy had to save my ass 90%
of the time. Believe me, they're much better off now that I'm elsewhere."
I add, "But thanks for trying to make me feel better. It's not like I'm
still upset about that stuff. I really do have my own life now. I guess it's
just going back that brings it all up again."
"So
why are you?" I ask. "I mean... there's a reason I'm not in LA."
"Because I'm the loyal
sidekick. Good for moral support, if nothing else," I reply with a little
smile. "I'll go, I'll be funny and self-deprecating, then I'll leave after
a couple days and come back here.
"So, why are you not in
L.A.?" I ask. I am curious.
I knew I shouldn't have said
anything... damn. Will I ever learn?
"Well,"
I say as I take a drink of my soda. "After being a punching bag for the
guards in jail, I really didn't need to be Cordelia's. Nor did I wanna hear her
version of how whorish and fucked up I was everyday. So... I left. Without even
saying goodbye."
"Ah," I reply.
"Yeah, Cordelia can be vicious. I remember that, well." Too well.
"She really made me feel like shit after the Willow thing. I know, I know,
we were in the wrong. But she made sure we were aware of that, every day, until
she left town. She holds grudges, like nobody else I know.
"So...
where are you going after Modesto?" I wonder, in the attempt to lighten
the mood a little.
I
shrug as I finish the dinner. "Dunno. I'm not really a stay in place girl,
as I'm sure you could have guessed. It's why I like my job... I get to travel a
lot. I go wherever my boss needs a job done."
"I
see." Too bad. If she *were* going to stick around Chicago for a while, we
could... nothing. That's a really bad idea, Xan, so forget it immediately.
"So,
what kind of job is it?" I ask.
"I
pick things up for my boss and drop them off wherever he tells me."
"Uh,
huh," I nod. "Well, that just explains everything." I grin.
"Well,
if I told you, then I'd have to kill you." I say with a smile before
realizing that that might not be the best joke with someone knows that I
actually *have* killed people. "Sorry... I shouldn't have... so... you're
in construction? What do you do exactly?"
"Um, build things?" I
laugh. "Sorry, I gotta work on that sarcastic streak, I know. Seriously,
though, I discovered that I manage *not* to kill myself, using a hammer and
nails. Right now the company I work for is doing the new shopping center in
downtown Chicago.
"It's
a good job and I actually enjoy it. I'm pretty good at it too, I think. At
least, I haven't been fired, so I guess I'm okay. So..." I pause for a
moment as the flight attendant takes our food. "I won't ask about the
details of whatever you do; it's none of my business. But what *can* you tell
me about your new life? Do you live in Chicago? Are you still slaying?"
"I actually have an
apartment in Chicago *and* New York. Although last year, I was in Europe for a
month. My boss is... probably the first person who ever really treated me like
a person, especially since prison. He's a really great guy.
"I'm trying to stay away
from the slaying as much as I can since last time... well you know what
happened. I got drunk on power. It's not my life, but when I'm roaming around
and there's a problem, I slay.
"I do like moving around a
lot, but I'm mainly running between Chicago and New York."
I pull
my legs up and sit facing him. He seems really interested and this is really...
nice. It's been a while since anyone has been interested in what I was saying.
"Sounds like you're happy,
so that's good," I reply with a smile. And it *is* good, because I really
can't remember ever seeing her happy, when she was in Sunnydale. It's a good
look for her.
"I
am happy. A little lonely sometimes, but I made my own bed."
"Now,
don't tell me you don't have men drooling, anywhere you go, because I won't
believe it," I say.
"There
are men. And there is drool. But," I can't even believe I'm about to share
this with him. "You probably won't even believe me, but I haven't even had
sex since I got out of prison. I used to think it'd be the first thing I did
after eating, but... there wasn't anyone that I wanted at the time. And now, a
lot of the guys I deal with on a daily basis only want me to suck and fuck. And
I just don't want that anymore."
"Oh."
Brilliant response, Xan. "What do you want? If you want to tell me. Or you
could just tell me to mind my own business, instead. I'd understand if you
did."
"Not like I *don't* like
having sex, but... I guess I want someone I can trust. I've been hurt so much
in the past fr-" I'm not going there now. "I just want someone I can
trust. Someone I can have fun with and not worry about getting hurt and someone
who *I* won't hurt in the process."
I
glance at the television and note the time. "I'm just lacking that
someone. So... it's not like I can't-" I shake my head a little and smile.
"I'm gonna go pee."
I try to give her a little room
as she squeezes out to the aisle. And I do *not* check out how amazing she
looks in those leather pants. No. I'm so not going there. She may have changed,
but it's still a bad idea to go there again.
Why?
Um...
It just is.
TBC
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