-Stroke
of Seven & Eight-
AUTHORS : dru & Evil Willow (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Beauty & the Beast
PAIRINGS : Cordelia/Spike, and
kissage/strokage of Spike/John
RATING : NC17 (highly smutty with plenty of delicious yums!)
WARNING: a little violence,
bloodplay and death- as well mild female/female & spike/female
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters.
NOTE : We're on the plane
heading for Monte Carlo with a quick stop in New York City. There is also some
sexual innuendo and touching between Spike/John along with a bit of kissage/strokage
=====================================================================
THE
CARRIAGE : STROKE OF SEVEN
I already
guessed that connection. "I'm not her, Spike. I'm *me*. I grew up on the
Hellmouth, and I'd like to think I didn't just survive because of Buffy. True
I'm not as strong as her, but I know a few self-defense moves.
"I
don't know what happened with Laura, maybe you made a mistake, but maybe not.
One thing I've learned living in Sunnydale is there's not a hell of a lot you
can do to absolutely protect me from anything bad happening to me. Well...
that's not true. You probably could, but then what kind of life would I have?
"A
boring, uneventful life, that's what. And that's not why I chose to stay with
you. Call it stupid if you want, but I'd rather *live* my life than hide from
everything. *You're* the one that convinced me that some risks are worth
taking. And it's not like I'm asking you to let me go out there and risk my
life without any protection. I trust you, maybe *you* should start trusting you
again too."
No.
Granted,
she makes a little sense... but- I still haven't decided about...
I hadn't
decided about Laura either.
The
decision was made for me. I never saw the demons...
God- what
they *did* to her...
Yeah,
there he goes, shutting up again. "And even if you can't do that, it sure
would be nice if you'd try trusting *me*," I say and turn away again,
heading for the door to the outer seating room.
"I
met her at a concert," I say.
And I
wasn't really intending on saying *that* either... but- she *did* tell me all
those really personal things earlier.
It's just
that... any time I've *ever* been this close- something has *always* happened
and *I* always am the one to get hurt, which is funny because I'm a vampire and
I like pain... but a few lashes and burns are quite different from a broken
heart.
I
turn back again and look at him. "When was this?"
I shrug
and sit on the couch. "Late sixties... 1960's."
I sigh
and look at her. "Dru and I had been fighting again. I wouldn't... *hurt*
her and she threw Angelus in my face again so I stormed out of the house and
said I didn't wanna talk to her again.
"I
ended up following some kids to a concert- one of those hippy things- and I was
just walkin' around looking for dinner or something. And I looked up and there
she was. She was standing, half-naked, near the concession stand eating ice
cream. I just- I knew I needed to have her."
I
walk over and sit next to him. I *don't* mind hearing about this. We've both
had lovers before each other. Everyone has. It's just the way it goes. But it helps
to understand him, when I hear about the other girls - and guys - he's loved.
Just like hearing about my past boyfriends helped him understand me.
And
yes, it has a lot to do with trust. But I haven't given him a reason to doubt
he could trust me, so I'm glad he's finally taking that chance.
"I
walked over and kissed her. She kissed me back... for hours. She was into the
'free love' stuff and all that. She just threw down with me right there- in the
middle of everything. She was... incredible.
"She
invited me back to her place that morning and I stayed there for four days. I
showed her what I was- told her. She said she wanted to be with me forever.
"But
she was so perfect... I told her I loved her and wanted her. But I said that
I'd wait... until she was ready... *really* ready to join me. So for a week, I
stayed in her apartment and she...
"She..."
I smile and remember those few nights... how willing she was to let me drink
her the blood from her body as she bled... It was some of the sweetest blood
I've ever tasted.
"She
let me drink *everything* from her," I say, finally.
Shit-
just thinking about it... those nights... that was one thing Dru could *never*
give me.
I
just sit and listen to him, because I remember how hard it was at first to even
think about talking about some of my ex's. If I'd had someone who would've just
listened without passing judgments, maybe it would've been easier. Like when I
told Spike about all of them, that was a relief to just get it all out.
I
know I probably don't understand all he's been through, but pain is pain.
Losing someone, whether they die or just leave you, still hurts. So in that
sense, I do understand.
I glance
at her and I wonder if when the time comes- she'll ever let me drink her
monthly blood...
Off
topic.
"On
the seventh night- she said she wanted to go with me when I went hunting. I
wanted to share that with her. I was greedy."
I close
my eyes and I can see *everything*.
"She
said she'd sit on the bench and attract my dinner... but-"
"I
can still see her body parts flying around- her blood splattering the walls of
the alley- and the helpless, sinking, desperate pain that filled me as I
watched my love being torn apart.
"I
never saw the demons coming. I was watching her so closely too- but I never
felt them coming... I never thought that Dru would get *so* mad... but she'd
had a vision of the girl who was taking me away from her..."
I
wait until he comes back from wherever he is and looks at me. "I'm sorry
that happened to you," I tell him. "I won't even pretend to know how
it feels to watch someone you love die. Because I've been lucky enough not to
know it. But thank you... for telling me." I reach out and take his hand.
"It helps me understand. I'd thought you were just being stubborn and
overprotective, because you're the vampire and I'm the human." I shrug.
"But now I know why you said no."
"It
doesn't mean I agree with you, though," I add. "I won't play it safe,
it's not who I am. That's why I left my parents' home, gave up what little
money they had left, and tried to start over again. I've always gone after what
I wanted.
"If
I didn't do that, I wouldn't have given you half a chance. But I couldn't
resist... couldn't resist you. I couldn't stop myself from falling for you either,
but I don't regret it. No matter what happens, tomorrow, the next day, or a
hundred years from now, I *won't* regret it. And... even if I *do* die, before
you have a chance to turn me, I still won't regret choosing you or loving you.
Because at least I will have lived my life, the way *I* wanted to."
"And
do you wanna die the way *she* did? Do you wanna be alive long enough to watch
your-"
I look
right into her eyes and say, "She was alive *just* long enough to feel her
heart being ripped out."
Ohgod...
are those... am I *crying*?
I
pull him into my arms and just hold him. "What do you want me to say,
Spike? That I'm not afraid of dying? Of course I am, but who isn't? I can't
stop it from happening, though, and neither can you. I *will* die. Whether
you're the one who does it to change me into a vampire, or someone else does
it, or I die seventy years from now. *Everyone* dies, eventually.
"But
I'd rather *not* make every choice from now on thinking about what bad things
might happen as a consequence. If I did *that,* well, I'd just be afraid to do
*anything.* I'm not trying to shrug off your concerns, though. I understand
where you're coming from and if you don't want me hunting with you, I won't. I
do hope you'll reconsider, though. Because I want to share every part of your
life, and it hurts me when you don't let me. It may not be your intention, but
it feels like... it feels like I'm just not good enough."
I waste
no time in pulling her lips to mine. It's a sweet open kiss and when I pull away,
I say, "You're *too* good. *Too* much."
I curl up
next to her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my head against her.
Yes- I'm feeling oh so vampireish right now...
So- I
move my hand to pull on the tie to the robe and slowly start to pull it out.
"Don't
think that I don't *want* you with me... it's just that- with Penn... and I
hear that he hooked up with an old... rival, who is now the head of his own
clan. I just can't take the risk right now."
I pull
the tie completely out and turn my body so I'm laying on my back, my head in
her lap. I look up at her and grin evilly.
"Feeling...
adventurous, Pet?"
"What
kind of a question is that?" I ask. I mean, really. Have I said no to
anything he's suggested? Okay, maybe a few things. But not as many as *I*
thought I would've.
I part
the robe and look up at her ample chest. I rub her breasts through the fabric
and ask in a low and husky (most seductive voice), "Feeling... *dangerous*?"
I
moan and arch up against his hand. "De-define... dangerous."
"*You*'re
the one with a hard-on for danger tonight. *So*..." I rub the fabric
harshly against her hardening nipples and roll my head around in her lap until
I've nestled my head between her legs. "Wanna have some new fun?"
I mean-
what shows I trust her more than *this* will?
Okay,
I get it. He's not going to tell me. I have to trust him. Well, in that case...
"Okay." And shit, I'm just sitting here. I slip one of my hands under
his jeans, and he's so hard already. No surprise there, he's always hard.
I arch
into her touch, which pushes my head further against her quim.
"So...
wanna be helpless... *or* would you
rather demand my complete undivided attention?"
Not that she
*doesn't* have my complete undivided attention a good 99% of the day and night-
but...
I push
the robe further apart. I *really* like this on her.
Oh.
And add 'damn' to that too, because I just got *so* wet. And he said before
that he can tell. So if that's true, he knows he's got my interest.
Earlier,
when he suggested it, I thought 'no way.' But I didn't completely trust him
yet. Now... I do. And yes, I guess I am a little bit of a danger junkie.
"Are you asking if I'll let you tie me to the bed?"
"I'm
asking if you wanna show me how much of a goddess you are."
Here's an
insight into my own mind that I'd rather not have ever had... there's a part of
me that *loves* being dominated.
I *hate*
every little shred of that part of me, but nonetheless- I always had the most
explosive orgasms when Angelus would...
ANYway...
after that night with Laura- after Dru had me in chains for two weeks and
possessed me completely- after all that... we had the most amazing sex.
As much
as I love to chain... there's always that part of me that wants to be chained.
And I especially get hard at the notion of submitting to *her*.
I was
hoping he'd take the hint. I'm just really tired, both physically and
emotionally. Now if *he'd* wanted to be in control, no problem. I wouldn't have
a problem with that at all. But I'm not feeling too dominating. Not after
pulling every piece of conversation out of him for the last few hours.
"Tempting,
but I think I'm going to want a rain check on that," I say. "Maybe
after I get a few hours sleep?" It *is* almost six a.m., way past my
bedtime
"Fine,"
I say quickly and sit up. The seat belt light turns on. "We're taking off
soon," I say and stand.
I should
have known... too much, too fast... or whatever.
I drop the
tie and turn to her, "C'mon. Get belted in."
Hopefully
we'll land at night and we can go out and have some fun.
I walk
over and flop into the sea- "BLOODYHELL!"
Shit-
damn window was open!
And now
my chest is smoking!
I slam
the shudder down and sit again. This is really just not my night.
I
think I hurt his feelings or something. And I care, but I thought we'd made
progress *past* the sulking thing. Guess not. But I'll worry about it later. I
really need to just sleep a few hours before I can find the energy to start
this whole 'I say something wrong-he sulks-I apologize-he avoids the issue-I
threaten-he talks to me' cycle all over again.
"You
coming over or not, Luv?" I ask. "Don't really fancy scrapin' ya from
the wall or whatall."
This damn
burn *hurts*. Well- not *hurts* as in horrid pain... but skin burning equals
pain.
*Ring,
ring*
The
cellphone. I pull it from my pocket, "'Lo?"
<"WILLIAM!
I was *hoping* this was the right number.">
"Mia,
Luv? That you?" WOW! I haven't heard *that* voice in a while.
<"Of
course! We heard you were heading over to our neck of the world and... Anton
and I were hoping that... we'd get together.">
"Absolutely,
Luv. I was already planning on a few nights with you, Ducks. You *know* how
much I love spending time with you."
<"We'll
be in Monte Carlo for the race and then we'll be heading back here. You're
welcome to stay with us for a while, William.">
"With
you, Lover? There's nowhere else I'd dream of being, of course- I have some
company."
<"We
heard that as well. But you know our bedroom is open to *anyone* you'd find
worthy of your talents, Will. So we'll see you in Monte Carlo?">
"Absolutely,
Luv, absolutely."
I hang up
with a smile. It's been *too* long since... it'll be nice to see them again.
I
walk over and sit down next to him. And of course I'm curious... slightly
jealous, even. And I'm not thrilled to be classified as 'company'.
But
I'm not playing this game. So I don't look at him, don't even react. And when he
hangs up, I watch the seat-belt light. The moment it's off, I stand up.
"I'm going to bed."
I growl
at her as she walks away.
But I'm
hard.
I stand
up and look into the bedroom. She's laying down. Fine. Let her sleep.
"JOHN!"
I call when I open the main door.
"Yes,
Master?"
He starts
to say something else but I don't care. I pull him to me and crush his lips to
mine furiously. And he certainly doesn't seem too upset about it because he
lets me kiss him and tries to kiss me back. That is- before I growl and deny
his tongue entrance to my mouth. *I'm* the master- not *him*.
I
thought he would come to bed, and we could call a truce, and then just deal
with everything in the morning. But no, he's going to sulk. And that's fine, except
for the fact that I can't sleep alone.
But I
refuse to go out there and apologize when I think I've bent over backwards to
try to keep him happy. And yeah, so maybe I am in a bad mood; but I'm going on
thirty-six hours without any sleep, and I'm not used to that. And maybe I'm -
yeah, it is really close to that time of the month, too. But I'm not about to
tell him *that* yet; he'll figure it out in another week. But whatever the
reasons, I'm in a bad mood and that's why I just wanted to go to bed. I didn't
*want* to upset him.
But
hey, he upset me, too. And does he ever apologize? Maybe ... once. And that
just doesn't cut it. So I'm *not* going to go out there and beg his forgiveness
for something that's his fault too. I don't even *know* what I'm mad about, or
what he's mad about, anyway. So yeah, talking at this point would just be *so*
effective.
And
by my calculations we've got another twelve hours or so in this plane. That's
just... lovely.
I throw
him up against the wall and pin him there while I plunder his...
I pull
away and he looks like he'll practically *beg* me to fuck him.
Shit. I
let him go and say, "Go."
"But-
Master..." He pleads. He *is* ready to beg. "Master- please..."
"Leave,"
I growl.
I'd fuck
him, and I'd love it, and we'd come... but-
I sigh
and walk into the bedroom. I don't know if she's asleep or not. I guess it
doesn't really matter.
I ignore
my screaming cock and slip under the covers.
I can
smell John's cologne, as Spike gets into bed with me. I don't even want to
know. I can imagine. And Spike is a vampire, so this is obviously something
I'll have to get used to. And I don't even really blame him, I've *seen* the
way most of the servants look at him. Kind of the same way I do, I bet. It must
be nice to be so adored. And I know he hasn't always had that so I'm glad he
does now.
But I
don't want to get into an argument or a discussion about any of ... *any*thing.
Not now. Not until I've slept. And after that... well I'll have to be careful
this week, how I take things. Because if he thought I could be a bitch he has
*no* *clue* how much of a bitch I can be when I'm *really* PMS-ing.
Okay,
enough. I just want to sleep. I roll over, but I can't see anything. The
servants darkened the windows in the bedroom, covered them with black paint or
something, besides the shades, I guess as an added precaution. I'm sure he can
see me though. And I don't know what I was going to say, or do, so I just give
up and shut my eyes.
I smile.
She's really beautiful. She can be so sexy... yet so innocent all at once.
I pull
her against me after she closes her eyes, and I close mine as well.
THE
CARRIAGE : STROKE OF EIGHT
I
open my eyes and the first thing I notice is the vampire curled around me. And
I do mean around... I'm on my back, his head is on my chest, one arm around my
waist, the other... I have no clue where that is. And our legs are all tangled
together.
It
feels nice, though. Comfortable. I'm amazed to realize that I fell asleep
pretty soon after he pulled me into his arms, last night. I guess that was what
I needed, in order to fall asleep.
And
that would be a clue, if I didn't *already* know how much I need him.
I *love*
waking up on top of a beautiful woman.
I kiss
the valley between her breasts and say, "Sleep enough?"
I know
neither of us got a heck of a lot of sleep these past few days... things have
been crazy.
I guess
I've gotta remember that she *needs* to sleep more.
"I
... I think so," I say. It's hard to tell, because I'm starting to figure
out what they mean by jet lag. It feels like it's early morning, which it
probably is in L.A. But... "What time is it wherever we are?"
"Three-ish?
Sun's still pretty bright." I can feel it.
I don't
really wanna move at this particular moment. So I think I'll just stay here
until she kicks me off.
"Oh."
I shift a little and oh. There's his other hand, under the fabric of my
nightgown and cupping my breast. Funny how I didn't notice, before. I also
didn't notice his erection, but I do now, pressing against the juncture between
my leg and sex.
No.
BAD Cordelia. No sex before straightening out whatever it is we need to
straighten out. And I might as well start, because if *I* don't, we won't get
anywhere. "I was in a bad mood last night, and I probably took stuff too
... personally or whatever. So I'm sorry I did that."
I don't
even know what she's talkin' about.
There was
a problem last night?
"S'okay,
Luv," I shrug. I don't know what else to say... "Was there a
problem?" I ask, before kissing between breasts again.
He's
kidding, right? Oh, of course, he's a guy. "I ... Never mind. If you
didn't notice I was in a mood, then that's good. Just forget it."
I mean- the
only problem *I* knew is that... well- *two* problems.
One: she
didn't wanna play.
And two:
I couldn't fuck John because I didn't feel anything with him. I wanted to be
with her- to make *her* feel better... although about what, I'm still not sure.
"Cordelia,"
I say and look up into her eyes. "I can only imagine that I am *not* the
best person to be involved with. But- call me a human if you want, but when
someone..." I don't wanna talk about this...
"When
someone- *rejects* me- it hurts." There. I said it. "When that
happens- I do one of two things. I fight or I sulk. That's me. I often
interpret things completely wrong, or so I've been told. But- there haven't
been *many* who haven't... hurt me."
There.
That's it. Psychoanalyze all you want. I'm done.
"But
I wasn't *rejecting* you, Spike. You would've *known* if I was rejecting
you." Okay, down girl. Deep breath. Count to ten. Okay, now try again.
"It wasn't an excuse when I said I was tired; it was the truth. I hadn't
slept for thirty-six hours, and I wasn't in the mood to play dominatrix. And it
hurt *me* that instead of taking me at my word, you jumped to conclusions and
assumed I'm like everyone else. I mean, fuck, how many times do I have to
--"
New
plan: I just won't talk for two weeks, until the hormones go back to normal
levels.
"But
you *did*," I say.
"You
just walked away. I *told* you I'm not easy. *This* won't be easy. And if it's
too hard- you should walk away and forget about me. Forget about the whole
thing."
And I am
*so* bloody stupid.
Because
this is what leads me to getting hurt- by saying things like *this* that lead
to rejection. For thinking no one would ever wanna stay with me...
"I
haven't been in a 'relationship' in... pretty much forever. I don't know how it
works. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, Pet. I try and give you what you
want and you get pissed and walk off."
"Oh
my GOD." I struggle out from underneath him, because this is *so* not a
cuddle talk. I stand up and say, "You're not even listening to a single
word I'm saying. And you are *also* revising history, here. I was *TIRED.* I
told you I was TIRED. I didn't walk away from you, I walked to the BEDROOM,
because I was TIRED. I wasn't rejecting you, I wasn't mad - okay, slightly
irritated when you decided to pout, assuming the worst in me.
"And
I *also* walked away, because I was - am, obviously - in a bad mood that has
absolutely NOTHING to do with you and I didn't feel like taking it out on you.
I knew that if we got into it, I'd regret it later, because I *know* that
you're trying and I'm just over-reacting. But I can't help it. This is me when
my hormones are going completely insane--" I wasn't going to let him in on
the PMS excuse, and it's a chance he didn't catch it yet, but oh well. I don't
care anymore. Not like he wouldn't figure it out. "I know I'm being a pain
in the ass right now, and it's just going to get worse, and I'm sorry. But if
you can just put up with me for a couple of weeks, everything will be fine
again after that."
A couple
of weeks?
What
happens in a couple of-
Hormones.
I can't
help the wolfish grin that seems to take over my face.
She's
gonna bleed soon.
I growl
seductively, jump up and start advancing on her.
Yeah,
I figured that would get his attention. "Hey, no, I'm still mad at you...
I think," I say, backing up. "Or maybe it's the other way
around..."
Her back
hits the wall and I grab her arms and pin them above her head. I lick up her
neck to her ear and ask, "When?"
When
he pins me against the wall, I can't help whimpering. And now I know I want him
to ... No, off topic. "When what?" I seem to have difficulty
concentrating on things when he's... nibbling on my earlobe like that.
I slip a
finger inside the nightie and then inside *her*. "When?"
I
moan as I try to buck up against him, wanting him deeper. He pins me in place
with his body though, not letting me move. "Spike..." I whine,
squeezing his finger, putting pressure on my sensitive spot.
And okay,
now I know what he was asking. But that's just not something I'm used to
talking about with boyfriends. But I guess Spike isn't your normal boyfriend...
"Three
or... four days," I say. He's already got me breathing heavy, and he's not
even moving. But in my defense, I *did* go to bed horny.
I lick
her lips before nibble on the bottom a bit. "You wanna fuck yourself on my
finger, huh?"
Shit,
my body just isn't very helpful reacting like that to his sex talk. But two can
play that game. "I'd rather have your cock inside me."
"I
bet," I whisper as I jam my finger inside her even further. She whimpers.
Good. "Unfortunately," I say as I yank my finger out of her,
"I'm not feeling very generous."
I let her
go and grab the money bag and head out to the couch.
Shit.
Well, maybe I deserve that. I know I hurt his feelings last night. But I
already told him I was sorry and I'm not going to beg. I have had to put up
with stuff about his life that doesn't thrill me. So now he knows that being
with *me* isn't always fun and games.
And
if he can't deal with that, it's his problem, not *mine*. Besides, I *told* him
I could be a bitch. So I refuse to go in there and beg him to forgive me. I
have my pride.
I
wonder if he's angry or just hur-- NO. I won't let him do this to me. That's
just not fair, damn it!
I'm
not going to apologize AGAIN. I'm only sitting down next to him because I ... I
didn't want to sit in the bedroom by myself. That's all.
"Wanna
help count it? It's gotta be counted, since we flung it around the bedroom.
Can't be claimin' to have five million if I don't have it."
"Sure,"
I shrug. Okay. So... maybe he's not mad. Not that I care, if he is, that's his
problem for not being able to forgive -- Anyway... I take a handful of money
and start to count it.
"So
when do you think we'll be landing?" I ask.
I shrug,
"Couple of hours or so."
I wrap a
thousand and grab some more bills.
Things
are a bit too quiet. I wish the-
*Ring,
ring*
Thank
you!
I get up
and grab the phone, "'Lo?"
<"William!
I'm glad I caught you- have you landed yet?">
"Not
yet, Luv. Was there anything you... *wanted*?" Okay- yes- I know what she
wants... I always know what Mia wants.
<"I've
been hearing things... about Clan Donovan. I fear it's not good.">
"Of
course it's not, Pet. But I'm not gonna worry about it until after we have some
fun." I don't want to worry Cordelia and I hope she can't see the worry on
my face.
<"You
need to know, Will.">
"I *will*.
You can tell me everything over dinner. Alright, Lover?"
<"Okay.
I guess we'll see you this evening, then?">
"Absolutely,
Luv. See you later," I tell her before hanging up.
Shit. The
Donovan's are *not* good. Especially since he's been pissed at me ever since...
ANY way.
Oh,
good. Now I remember why I was ...not mad. Not jealous. I'm completely okay
with the fact that Spike has fucked so many women that I don't even want to
think about it... and I'm not mad. I'm just...
Horribly
confused. I don't like it when Spike gets mad, because then he starts playing
these games - or maybe they aren't games. Maybe this is just the way he is,
with the calling other people 'lover' and acting all... friendly. I just need
to get used to it.
"You're
going to dinner with someone... oh, never mind. Hunting. Right. Never
mind." God, *that* didn't sound like a jealous lover, at all. Good one,
Cordelia.
YES!
*That* sounded somewhat jealous. She's jealous!
HA!
And no-
that doesn't make me *that* happy... it means perhaps if I do enough to piss
her off, she *will* wanna chain me up and take an interest in me.
Not that
I don't think she *has* an interest in me- because she's obviously here and I
know she loves me. I love her. It's not a question of that. It's a question of
giving me what *I* need, since I think I'm *more* than generous with giving her
what she wants.
Well- up
until about ten minutes ago. But that's what happens...
"*We*
are," I reply.
"You're
not mad, then?" Shit. Once upon a time, I could outlast *any* boyfriend,
when we'd had a fight. And even if it *was* my fault, I'd have him apologizing
instead. When did that change?
I
guess it probably has something to do with how I've never felt this much for
anyone.
"Mad?"
I ask. "Why would I be mad? Because you refused me?" I shrug.
"Why would I be mad about that?"
Okay-
that was just... *lame*.
But it
HURT. And I hate that I gave someone *else* the power to hurt me. AGAIN.
How
bleedin' stupid does one have to be? REALLY?!
I
finish wrapping my bundle and look up at him. "I am sorry, Spike. I didn't
mean it to sound that way. And I wasn't saying no, for good. If I meant that, I
would've said it. I really just meant no until I'm not so... I *want* to give
you what you want."
I
sigh and look away, grabbing some more money. "I hate that I hurt you and
it wasn't what I wanted to do. I told you, I can be a bitch. I know, there's no
excuse. And I'll try to keep from taking out my moods on you."
I sigh as
well and sit next to her on the couch. I take her hands and still them before
saying, "I know it's hard for you. You don't know anything about this
world- or the rules I play by. But... you kept accusing me of not trusting you
last night. The things you want to know- what you were asking about- are the
things you told me not to tell you. And then you'd tell me I don't trust you.
"And
then- when I... offered to let you tie me up... to *show* you how much I trust
you- you threw it in my face. You could have kept me tied all night and slept
on me... but you just went to sleep.
"That's
*why* I was mad. Luv, out of all the women I've... there are only *five* that
I've made that offer to. And you refused me."
I take
the money out from her hands, "You've gotta be hungry by now. Don't you? I
think we have some muffins or something."
I
grab his face and kiss him. When I pull away, I say, "I love you. I *am*
sorry for the way I made you feel, and I hope you can forgive me. "
But I
won't push it, maybe he just needs time before he can get over it. So I get to
my feet and walk over to the refrigerator. There are some muffins, so I get
those out, and a bottle of water.
"We'll
find you some better stuff once we get there. You'll probably be able to go and
get yourself something once we land."
I throw
all the money back in the bag. I'll have John count it later.
I sit
back on the couch and ask, "So- what'll we do now?"
I scratch
my stomach. Shit. I've gotta paint my nails again. Of course, not until after
Monte Carlo.
"Oh-
we'll probably be going to Venice after Monte Carlo. I hope you weren't
plannin' on being back in the states for a while."
Venice?
I've never been to Venice. "Hm... I don't know. I have so many degrading
auditions to go to," I say with a smile as I walk over to him. "I
*suppose* I could put Marty off for a while..." I sit down and lay my head
on his shoulder.
"As
for what we're going to do until we land..." I press a kiss to his
shoulder and slip an arm around his waist. "I dunno. Any ideas?"
I like
feeling her like this.
I shrug.
"Whatever you want."
I place
my hand on her thigh. "I think we'll have your portrait painted in
Venice."
I can
just *see* her immortalized in a huge, grand picture... her gorgeous hair and
exotic eyes...
Yeah- I'd
pay for that.
Luckily,
Anton is a painter.
"So,"
I say while slipping my hand inside the slit. I want to feel her skin.
"While I'm being all *not* defensive... you could try to pry more information
out of me. I mean... we can give the honesty thing a go, again."
I kiss
the top of her head and ask, "Is there anything you wanna know?"
"Everything."
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