AUTHORS: dru & EvilWillow (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Lost & Found
PAIRING : Angel/Spike
RATING : NC17 (highly
smutty)
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters. We just like putting them in lewd positions!
NOTE : dru wrote Spike, EvilWillow wrote Angel
AUTHOR'S NOTE : Unbetaed
=====================================================================
PART
TWO
But
fine, suppose I do let him in, take him downstairs to my bed- let him shag the
hell out of me... and then he wakes up all ape-crazy and destructi-oh. Oh.
I get
it.
Be with
Spike, because Spike couldn't possibly make you perfectly happy, so just use
him to get off and who cares about his feelings.
Spike
doesn't have any feelings anyway. He's just an evil thing.
But
gods... isn't this what I wanted? My sire back?
But
for one night. *One* night.
Hardly
seems worth it.
But
maybe... if I tell the slayer that I *did* get to shag him, when she can't...
that he *chose* me... and not her skanky cunt... maybe she'll finally do me in
for good.
And
he needs me?
Did
he say he needs me?
NO.
How
come he has to makes things all complicated?
I
just wanted to watch my porn, stroke my cock, come, fight the slayer and die.
And
then *he* has to show up and *wreck* it! AGAIN!
"Will?"
I ask, walking closer. "Are you... thinking about it?" I wonder.
"Just one night and then I swear I'll not ask you for anything else...
Unless you wanted... I mean she *did* send me enough potion for ten doses. And
I *will* try to get more but..."
He's
just confused now. "What part didn't make sense?" I ask. "Was it
the part where I thought you might be willing to do this again? Because I'm not
assuming. I'm just..."
Babbling?
Making a total ass of myself? Well, yes, those too. But also. "I'm
shutting up now and letting you talk," I decide. Gods, I used to be so
much better at getting him naked and into my bed. It's been WAY too long.
"Don't
call me, Will."
I'm
not him and if he thinks that he can use it to bribe me into bed, he can just
forget it.
And
what the hell *potion* is he talking about?
"What
the hell *potion* are you yammering on about?"
"Fair
enough, Spike. It slipped out... but whatever you want. And I did mention the
potion, didn't I?"
I
thought I did. But at this point, who knows. "Cordelia found a potion and
it will keep my soul safe. So like I said, I took some, and I started
driving... And ended up here. Looking for you."
Oh.
He never said that.
Fine.
The big oz came all this way and is clearly not leaving until he fucks me- not that
it won't feel good for me... so
"Fine.
Whatever. Let's go," I shrug and jump down the hole in the floor to my
bedroom.
We'll
get naked, he can test the potion and make sure it'll keep his soul before
shagging his one true bleedin' love senseless. She does need it- that bitch is
too high strung.
I
strip my clothes and sit on the bed, waiting for him.
"With
or without chains?" I call up. I mean- if he's the sire, he might as well
call the shots.
I
follow him down the ladder, smiling at the suddenness of his decision. He
always was... Oh. God.
He's
just... Not that I'd forget. I'd never forget. But... Seeing is somehow much
more effective than remembering.
"W-Spike...
I ... " You know what? Talking just doesn't seem to be my strong point
tonight. So I'm just going to take off my shirt... Work, fingers. Damn it. New
plan. Rip the shirt open... I was getting tired of it anyway
"No
chains this time," I decide as I walk over to the bed, unfastening my
pants. "Maybe next time... or the time after that... or maybe if your
persuasive powers are as good as I remember, *I'll* be the one in the
chains." Oh good. I can talk again. And it was so worth it to see that
look on his face.
Yeah,
right. Why would I even *let* myself believe that for a second?
There's
not gonna be a second time. There won't even be a first. I'll just make him
come and then he'll leave. I'll have served my duty as his bitch, and then he
can move on.
"What
do you want, Master?" I ask, rolling my eyes.
God,
I hate him.
No, I
don't.
Yes I
do. I *do* because… why? Because he *left* me. THREE TIMES! Because he never
bothered to call and ask me how I was. Because he knew about the bloody chip
and he didn't even bother to make sure Buffy didn't kill me. He didn't care. Because
he didn't feel it when I was starving and so desperate to die, that I tried to
kill myself. Because he stole and destroyed my bloody ring and because he
didn't even care enough to come after me and punish me proper. He didn't even
*try* and retaliate like a good sire would. He *just* *didn't* *care*.
Sometimes
I wonder what it would have been like if he'd let *Dru* be my sir- was he
always that gorgeous?
NO.
That's besides the point. I'm mad.
"Why
don't I just make it easy on you," I say. I flip over and crawl up the
bed, sticking my arse in the air. "Get it over with."
Now,
first off... holy shit because yes it's tempting. Shit.
Secondly...
I thought *I* was the broody one?
He
thinks he's so mysterious and unreadable. And perhaps he is to every *other*
person. But not to me.
All I
have to do is look in those deep blue eyes and - yeah, I know, I'm not looking
at his eyes right now but THAT IS NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW! Damn it.
I
thought I just came here for a fuck.
But
if that were the case, we'd be fucking now.
Great.
I'm so bleedin' repulsive, I can't even get *Angel* to fuck me. I guess I've
officially reached pathetic.
Okay.
If I think about it... not that I came here to think, but if I think about it,
I can understand why he's in such a mood. I strolled into Sunnydale, and into
his crypt and basically said 'I wanna fuck.' Along with a lot of other stuff
but that was the basic idea. And it didn't occur to me that wouldn't be
something he'd want, because... well, he's *Spike*. And he used to love it when
I wanted to fuck ... him... oh.
Discounting
the months in Sunnydale when that was the only reason I'd pay him any
attention.
But
that's NOT what this was about. I told him that... but he doesn't listen
because he's so damn stubborn. And he only hears the things he wants to.
Okay,
Angel. Think. "I told you I was thinking about Prague," I say slowly.
I crawl up the bed toward him and add, "And this was not our favorite
position, if I recall correctly. It was more like..." I place my hands on
his hips and flip him over onto his back and then drape my body over his, and
add, "This..."
And I
silence any biting comment might be on the tip of his tongue by thrusting mine
into his mouth and kissing him, as I start thrusting my cock against his. I
groan at the wonderful sensation...
It's
been so long since I've felt his skin, devoured his mouth. Too long. I slide my
fingers through his hair. And god, it's a good thing I'm two hundred and fifty
years old, or I would have come the instant our bodies touched... Shit, as it
is, I'm barely maintaining control.
Ohshit.
Oh
god his tongue... is *in* my mouth.
And...
was he always that hard? I don't- well, that's a lie. I *do* remember. I think
about it more than I'd like to admit.
But
still- he's here because he's horny and he's got that damn potion- an-
"Angel!"
I moan as his hand grips my cock. Shit, I can't help but thrust into his fist.
This
is not fair.
Shit.
Fine. One night. What the hell was I gonna do anyway?
One night
and then it's over.
And
he *will* feel guilty when he finds out that I'm gone. Or will he? He didn't
care when I was starving and homeless... and he never felt guilty about
treating me like shit...
But
whatever.
I'll
be over.
I thrust
into his hand again an- damn. He knows what I like.
Fuck.
Nearly came when he screamed my name. Not 'Angelus', but 'Angel'. And damn...
I
don't care what he wants me to call him, he'll always be Will to me. And I have
him. In my arms, moaning and whimpering and ... God if Cordy hadn't found that
potion...
It
never would've occurred to me to suspect he could make me this happy. But I
guess it makes sense. He's my boy and he's always wanted me. Even if he hates
me, he still wants me. That's never changed. I always knew this.
I'm
not *that* dense.
I
look up into his eyes... and I don't see the happiness I expect to see. And
unlike my soul-less counterpart, I care about him being happy. Damn it. But I
thought--
I
pull my hand away and he moans in protest. I sit up next to him and ask,
"Spike... what do you want?" Because I am really at a loss for how to
fix this. I thought I was offering him what he wanted: a consequence free night
of fucking, just like the old days. But I guess not, and now I'm thinking I
should've just pulled the car over next to the first whore I saw. Because I am
no closer to getting laid than I was an hour ago.
Huh?
I
don't... *get* it.
Oh.
Of course.
"I
want *you*, Master."
How
silly of me to forget his fuckin' power trips.
"Want
you to fuck me."
I
sigh. "That's *not* what I'm asking," I say. This is just not
working. He hates me, I can see it every time I look in his eyes. And as much
as we may want each other, I have a problem with fucking someone who hates me.
Call
me crazy, but that's just the way I feel.
"I
really want to know what you want, Spike. What can make *this* good for you,
something you want. Because I can see it in your eyes... I can feel it...
you're not really here and ...."
"I'll
tell you what I wanted. I wanted to just forget, for once about all the shit
that we've put each other through, all the reasons that we *shouldn't* do
this... and just be together," I say. "No games, just us, wanting
each other. Like Prague. Or London, those wonderful weeks after I turned you.
Because contrary to what you might believe, I have never regretted *any* memory
of us before I was cursed. I've..." I've treasured them, I've dreamt about
them, I've thought about them so many times they will NEVER be removed from my
memory.
"Well,
I'm sorry. *I* can't shut myself off like you can. I haven't had a hundred
years practice," I growl.
I
need a fag.
And
*no* not Angel.
I
stand up. I know I put them somewhere.
"I
mean... what the hell did you *think* would happen?" I grab my pack of
smokes and light one up quick.
I
wish I smoked something better. Perhaps I'll have to go look for something
stronger.
"Did
you think I'd just lie down? Did you think that showing me your cock would just
make it *all* better? WHAT THE HELL PLANET ARE YOU ON?! GOD! In all the time
that you *were* with me, did you learn *nothing* besides how much of your dick
I can swallow?"
"Spike...
I admit that I went about this all wrong. But it's been so long since I've
tried to even *think* about having sex. And maybe I was stupid to think we
could go back. But I hoped... And did it ever occur to you to wonder why I
never tried to come to you for a fuck *before* I got hold of this potion?"
I ask. "I wouldn't have risked that, because you are my childe and you are
my blood and I have missed you more than --" No. I won't stop this time.
Just get it all out and maybe, at the very least we'll have closure. "I've
missed you more than you'll ever know."
"Well,
bullocks for you! I'm happy for you! Am I supposed to coddle you and suck you
down? If you expect me to have pity for poor, pitiful Peaches, you're expecting
too much.
I
take another drag and look at him. "Did you even *care* when you found out
I was crawling to the slayer's door *begging* for blood? Did you even stop and
*think* about how humiliating that was for me?
"No.
Of course you didn't. You just come around when you want to fuck and are all
out of scoobies."
I'm
not bitter.
I'm
really not.
"So,
sure... you missed me. Great. That's just wonderful. But in the one hundred
years you were busy rejecting me, I got over you."
Which
is a HUGE lie and I know it. But it feels good to think I might be able to hurt
him just a little, even if it's just a little.
"How's
*that* for 'closure'?" I growl.
God,
does he *know* how much it hurts me to hate my own sire?
"You
think I don't know I hurt you?!" I demand. "I know, Spike. I see it
every time you look at me. And I wish that if you hated me that much you
*would* have just killed me. But you didn't and maybe that's better punishment
for me anyway. Not that I don't deserve it. I remember everything I did to you
when I lost my soul the second time. And nothing I suffered in hell was
punishment enough for those months.
"So
yes, I know. And I guess I have my answer now. We can't go back. You don't want
to, and there's nothing I can do to change your mind. But just in case you ever
wondered... I never got over you." I turn my back on him and pull my
leather pants back on. I grab my shirt and it's pretty much ruined so I'll just
leave it here. Spike can torture it and pretend it's me.
"IT'S
NOT ABOUT THAT!" I scream at him as I toss the cig on the floor. "YOU
BLEEDIN' PILLOCK! It's not about soulless you!"
"At
least you were showing some interest in me! At least you did *something*
besides *ignore* me and treat me like dirt! Do you *know* how hard it was to
see you again with the fuckin' *slayer*? THE SLAYER, ANGELUS! The bleedin'
*slayer* and you wouldn't help Dru or me. You didn't even *look* at us and then
you come here and expect-
"You
don't even *care* about me. Why the hell would you want anything from me?"
I ask quietly. Bloody hell, when did I get so damn needy? I'm confusing
*myself* now.
I just...
I guess... "I don't know what I want. I guess I just- wanted you to notice
me again. And you never did."
"Damn
it, Boy, you're so mad at me you're not even listening to a word I say!" I
yell, whirling around to face him. Shit, Angelus-tone... probably not the right
thing now. But he's really infuriating me at the moment. "I noticed you!
Buffy's not the only reason I walked around Sunnydale with a permanent hard-on.
But you made it quite clear that you despised me, so I stayed away from you! I
thought that's what you wanted!
"And
at risk of repeating myself: I. NEVER. Got. Over. You." I hold up the vial
of potion that I'd stuffed in my pants pocket. "This is the only reason I
even dared to think about being with you tonight. Because I remembered that you
*always* knew how to make me happy, and I couldn't risk finding out that still
was the case."
"You
*never* noticed me. You knew I was in town and you never *once* tried to say
hello. I took my cues from *you*-"
I
stop and look at him. "We could play this game all night long. I'm
tired." I look down and- oh yeah. I'm still naked, which brings me to *my*
question. "What do *you* want?"
This
is making me dizzy. Isn't this where I came in? "I want you, Spike. I came
to Sunnydale because I wanted you. Not Buffy, not some random fuck, but you.
From the moment I turned you I have wanted you, and then I fell in love-"
Damn it all to hell. I sigh in resignation because taking it back would be the
beginning of world war three. And it would be a lie anyway. Even though I wish
I could have had *that* revelation alone so I could have time to process it...
Oh well. "--with you and I wanted you even more. And I left you and Dru
because I couldn't make you suffer for my not being able to be a vampire. But I
never stopped... caring or wanting you.
"I
never acted like it because I couldn't. I was a coward and besides, I couldn't
be the vampire I thought you wanted anyway. So I tried to forget what you meant
to me but I didn't. And that's why I'm here. Because I want you forever but I
know that's too much to hope for. But I had thought that we could at least have
a small taste of what we used to have.
"Obviously
I was wrong to assume or hope and I will not ever do that again." I turn
and head for the ladder. And that was the most humiliating five moments of my
existence but it'll be good for a laugh for him, I'm sure.
He-
what?
Huh?
What?
I
don't-
I
mean...
But-
he's... *leaving* again.
Well,
fuck that.
I
grab his shoulder and yank him off the ladder. "Why the hell ya gotta be
so god damned infuriating?" I ask.
But I
guess... I don't really want the answer to that because I *know* the answer.
Because
he's *Angel*.
So,
instead, I grab his neck and pull him to me, attacking his mouth with mine.
My
tongue slides into his mouth an... shit... did he *actually* say that he...
I
guess if I did hear things, I'd rather feel him inside me *before* ruining the
dream.
I
slide my hands down to his waist to pull his hips into mine. I rub against him
an- shit. I groan as my cock moves against the leather... and he *did* sa- I'm
not putting too much stock in it. If it was a dream, I don't care at this
point. I just... (ashamedly admit that I) want my sire back in my life, inside
me... *with* me.
He's
kissing me... among other things. Why is Spike kissing me, among other things?
Why
the fuck am I *questioning* it????
I'm
not. As of now. Something I said worked - hooray for me - and now I'm wrapping
my arms around him and sliding my hands down to squeeze his ass and press him
closer to me. "Fuck," I groan pulling away from the kiss.
And
*now* there's something other than hatred in those beautiful blue eyes.
"Shit..." I moan when he pinches a nipple and rolls his hips against
me.
"Wi--Spike...
" He chuckles and I open my eyes and *there's* that spark I've didn't see
in his eyes earlier. I'm glad to see it again. I'm glad to see *him*... hold
him... kiss him... touch him... Damn.
I
really am in love with him. How did I not realize that?
Maybe
it was the fact that I've been in denial about a *lot* of things for the past
century. But no longer. This is *not* something I want to let go of.
I
nibble at his throat, over the jugular vein, and he whimpers, thrusting harder
against me... "Shit... " I growl. "Keep that up and I'm going to
come," I warn. It's been too long and I've been hard for like... well, it
feels like forever.
"Maybe
you should," I mumble.
My
sire! It's my sire. He's really here and he's really holding me and touching
me... and he l-
No.
He's just here. And that's enough.
"Angelussss..."
I growl... "Bed. AndyoucancallmeWill."
Oh,
fuck me.
I
push him toward the bed, and follow when he falls back onto it. Shit. I'm just
too fucking horny and I'm gonna come. I brace myself on one hand and try to
unfasten the damn leather pants. I sigh with relief when he helps me push them
down to my hips.
"Will..."
I moan. "Love you. Gonna come. Come with me," I say as I take our
cocks in my hand and stroke them together. We're both so close, I can feel it.
OHMYGOD!
HE...
HE...
I
grab his face and make him look at me. "You... what?"
I
swear, if he says it again, I'm done for.
I
still my hand because ... I what, what? Oh. Did I say it out loud again?
I was
kind of lost in the moment... And maybe... he didn't hear me the other time? It
would make sense. He hasn't heard me on a lot of things tonight.
But
... there's no way he could possibly do anything other than laugh in response.
Is there? And I'm thinking that won't do much to get us in the fucking mood.
But I can't lie to him when I look in his eyes, and he won't let me look away.
"I love you," I say softly, steeling myself for his response.
Ohgod,
"ANGELLLLL!" I scream as I explode all over him. Ohshit. He...
didn't...
Oh
fuck... that was... he loves me!
HE
LOVES ME!
MY
SIRE LOVES ME!
HE
DOES! HE REALLY REALLY DOES!
I
push him onto his back and start kissing his face, at first. His lips... I
remember those lips.
Especially
from Prague... when he licked that chocolate cream off my stomach...
I
continue to kiss down his body... his neck... his collarbone... I run my hands
up the sides of his ribs and then to his nipples. He moans a little as I bypass
kissing his uppers more. I've got my eye on a better prize.
I
lick the tip of his cock a little before blowing gently on it. It jerks in
response and I laugh. The more things change...
"Fuck,
Will. Please!" I beg. I don't know how I managed not to come when he did...
I guess it was the shock at not being laughed at and tossed out of his crypt.
And I'm afraid to wonder what his response means.
But
at the moment, I'm more afraid I'm going to just spontaneously combust from
sexual frustration. "Please," I repeat, looking down into his eyes.
Hehehe.
Let's
see how *he* likes it.
I
smile sweetly at him and ask, "What do *you* want, Angelus?"
Yeah,
I'm evil. I know it.
"You, for the rest of our
lives," I say impulsively. Damn. I think I liked myself better when I was
broody and dense and stoic.
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