AUTHORS: dru & EvilWillow (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Lost & Found
PAIRING : Angel/Spike
RATING : NC17 (highly
smutty)
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters. We just like putting them in lewd positions!
NOTE : dru wrote Spike, EvilWillow wrote Angel
AUTHOR'S NOTE : Unbetaed
=====================================================================
PART
ONE
"Angel.
You have a package," Gunn says as he brings in the mail.
"I
do?" I frown as I take it from him. I put my ear to it to see if it's
ticking. You never know. A lot of people... demons... things... want me dead.
"Um...
I don't think Cordy would be sending you a bomb. Not given the you giving her
and Grusellug all that money to take the trip," Gunn says.
Oh,
yeah. Good point. "Guess not," I reply with a smile. And he's not
leaving. So ... fine. But what would Cordy be sending me?
I
open it and inside is a glass bottle, some purple liquid in it. There's a
letter, too. "Dear Angel..." I read since now Fred and Wesley are
watching. "Thanks for the money for the trip... ... having a wonderful
time with ... blah blah blah... We're in Mexico... And I had a vision about...
I'm not going to tell you that. Because I'm still traumatized. Why did you not
TELL me you were--" This is the point I stop reading out loud.
I
look up at the others. "Guys... would you mind?" I ask.
"Personal stuff in the letter." They decide to give me a break and I
keep reading.
'Why
did you not TELL me you were bisexual?' Oh. Well.... Vampires... 'And don't
give me that, I'm a demon, excuse. It's still... Okay. Not the point really.
But then I was all worried, because if you and Spike'
WHAT?!!!
He
would NOT make me lose my soul. Really. No chance of perfect happiness with
HIM. And I wouldn't want him anyway. Or vice versa.
'And
I know you're thinking the vision was wrong, but no way. I'm never wrong. You
know that. So anyway, the good news is we were wandering around and found this
lady who said she was a witch doctor. Witch doctress? Anyway. She went all
'oooh... I know you. I have something for you!' See the enclosed bottle. To
make a long story short, it's supposed to keep your soul from having any
impulse to leave your body if you go all horizontal with you know who or
someone else.
'God
I hope I don't have a vision about it, though. Really. It was... so not how I
want to picture my best friend. Anyway, have fun, but keep that fun all to
yourself. And don't worry, I had another vision later... did I *mention* eew?
And the potion will work... and work, and work. Really. The Powers need to
learn the saying 'too much information.'
'But
I gotta go. We're going to the beach. Damn, he has a nice tan... See you in a
couple weeks! - Love, Cordy'
Wow.
OH
yeah, you dirty little hussy... make my fuckin' day.
<"You
bad boy!">
<"Dirty
bitch, I know what you want.">
"SHUT
UP, MATE!" I scream at the television, chucking a cracker at him. I don't
give a damn about *his* johnson. I care about *mine*.
<"Yeah,
bitch, harder! Squeeze me with your pussy.">
I
give up.
I
click stop on the remote and look down at my cock.
"I'm
sorry," I apologize. "I know you're not used too much, but I still
love you."
Well,
if I can't have a good fuck (or toss), I guess I'll go see if the Bitch
(slayer) is patrolling.
Maybe
I'll try and kill her again.
Not
that it would work because of the fuckin' chip- I *really* hope that when I do
get this damn thing out, that I can find that goddamned GI Joe wanna-be and
kill him good and proper.
Maybe
I'll rape him too.
I
mean, I *am* evil.
It's
what I do.
Where
am I going? I don't know. Nowhere in particular. Just driving. Nowhere in
particular.
True,
I took one dose of the potion... there's enough in that bottle for ten doses.
Damn. This is... weird. Thinking about having sex? I'm supposed to avoid all
thoughts... well not thoughts. Just actions. I have thoughts. A lot of them.
And
my hand.
But
since Angel Investigations isn't in desperate need at the moment, I decided to
go out. Somewhere. Not to Sunnydale.
Oh.
There's the Sunnydale sign. Stupid subconscious.
"All
I'm saying is that perhaps you just need to get some, Pet."
Seriously,
where's the harm in that?
But
apparently, she doesn't like it too much, because she's punching me again.
That's
all the bitch does.
"LISTEN!"
I growl. "I just thought that maybe if you got that stick from your
ass-"
WRONG
THING TO SAY! WRONG THING TO SAY!
"OUCH,
BITCH! THAT HURT!"
"Then
maybe you should shut your face, Spike. Did it ever occur to you that you
should just *go*?"
"It
occurred to me," I shrug as she swings again. "I just think that with
an eternity ahead of me, takin' a few years to stick around for *your* untimely
demise, isn't really *wasted* time."
AND
DAMMIT AGAIN! "OUCH!"
Some
things never change. That's strangely comforting. But then again, not. I feel a
weird protective urge as I walk toward the sound of yelling and see Spike
getting beaten up by Buffy.
Shouldn't
I be happy about him getting beaten up by Buffy?
Think
hot pokers through the body.
No,
still feeling the urge to stop her. It's all Cordelia's fault. Sharing about
her vision of me and Spike and no I haven't been hard since she mentioned it.
Didn't
get incredibly horny remembering how it felt to be inside him, fucking him hard
and hearing him scream my name and beg me ... Shit. I had to wear the leather
pants that hide NOTHING about how turned on I am, why?
Well
on the up side, Buffy can just assume it's in response to seeing her. I wish...
No. I wouldn't want to even think about doing that with her again. Not if it
couldn't be forever.
And
it can't be. Each dose lasts twenty-four hours, so I get ten days of fun.
Unless Cordelia can get me the witch doctor's address... But that's not the
point. Buffy and I won't work. For more reasons than the curse. Spike and I,
though...
No.
He'd laugh in my face if I even brought it up. He hates me. Not that I blame
him and also the feeling is mutual.
And
that's why I grab Buffy's arm as she goes to pummel him into the ground, and
pull her off him. "Wh--" She whirls around. "Angel?" She
says. "What... why..."
I
shrug as I let go of her and step back. "I know he's a pain in the ass,
but he is helpless now." I know, I know, not the things she wants to know.
"I ... actually I needed to talk to Spike. That's why I'm here... "
And that just made perfect sense... if you're in an alternate universe. Which
I'm beginning to think I am.
I
growl as I jump up. Not in the mood to have my *sire* protect me, especially
from the slayer.
And I
*certainly* don't wanna watch him play the pouf and rescue me- nor do I want to
hear any of their bleedin' reunion.
You'd
think once, just *once*, he'd show some interest in *me* for a change.
But
whatever.
I
make it back to my crypt before they even notice I'm gone.
Wonder
what the hell he's doin- no. I don't care. He sure as hell didn't care about
me- I *know* he knows about the damn chip.
I
press play on the remote.
<"Ride
me, Bitch! Oh yeah! Ride me!">
"Ride
*this*, bleedin' sod," I tell him as I grab my cock.
Somehow
I manage to get away from Buffy - all the while my mind screaming 'No! You're
going the WRONG WAY!!!' And I did catch the hurt and anger in Spike's eyes
before he took off, but I couldn't follow him at the time.
Not
that I wanted to, really.
Even
though I did, so my logic is kind of ... flawed. But I shouldn't be over
thinking or brooding. It's not like this is about forever. It's about fun, as
Cordelia said. Fun with Spike. I never thought ... okay, yes I've thought...
And
what exactly is crypt etiquette? Should I knock? I guess that would be polite.
Might as well plan on being polite, since I guess I'm seriously thinking about
seducing Spike tonight.
I can
NOT believe I'm seriously thinking about seducing Spike. Hot pokers. No, still
hard. Damn it.
<"Oh
YEAH! BIG DADDY! STUFF ME FULL!">
Is
this shit for real?
Hell,
I should really go in to the porn industry.
I'd
be the effin' belle of the ba-
Knock.
Knock. Knock.
Who
the bleedin' hell *knocks* on a crypt?
No
one *I* wanna talk to... so I continue stroking my cock- so the video's *bad*,
but it's not *terrible* and did I mention how long it's been?
Okay...
he's either watching porn or he's with a whore. Either way, maybe he'll let me
watch?
I walk
in and it's porn. Oh. Damn. That's... an interesting position...
He
doesn't say a word but he *knows* I'm here. And for some reason I have this
insane urge to walk up behind him and ... fuck. He's jerking himself off.
Shit,
it's been a while since I've gotten to watch that... And it's much more
fascinating than what's on TV.
SODDIN'
BASTARD!
I
growl, "What the hell do you want?"
I
grab the damn remote and press the stop button, before tucking myself back in
pants.
I
guess I won't get off for a while longer- not that I really was *aiming* to-
sometimes, it just feels nice to have your cock in your hand.
"Certainly
not for you to stop," I say before I can stop myself.
"Go
to Hell," I growl, standing up. "Oh, half a mo', you already did. Why
the hell did you come *back*?"
I
walk to my duster. I need a smoke.
"Good
question," I reply. "Apparently not for Buffy." Okay, what the
fuck is in that potion, other than something to keep my soul in place?
"I
mean...I don't... I" Oh. I see. It was a make Angel stupid formula.
Thanks, Cordy.
But
fuck this. I'm hard, he's hard... Do the math, Angel.
I
walk over to him. He glances at me warily. "Came to Sunnydale to see
you," I shrug. And then I pounce, pinning him against the wall and kissing
him hard. My hand's on his cock before he knows I've undone his pants and I
really *really* hope he's as fast on the uptake as he used to be.
WHAT
THE *FUCK* IS THIS?!
AND
OHSHITSIREHANDONCOCK!
But...
NONONO! I growl loudly and kick him away... oh god...
No.
"No
way in fuckin' hell! Now get the hell out! If you're randy- I bet the slayer
would love to show you what she learned from captain teeny-weeny."
And
am I *actually* turning down sire-sex?
AM I
FUCKIN' INSANE?!
NO.
*HE*
IS!
He is
if he thinks he's just gonna come and grab my- oh dear- I never took my pants
off!
SHIT.
This is not good.
I
yank my pants up and look at him. "Go bone the slayer- my arse is closed
to you."
Shit!
"Will--"
Okay. That was unexpected. Apparently for him, too.
"I
just thought..." No, no I didn't. And that's the point. I just showed up
horny wanting a fuck and *that* was a total Angelus move. The only difference
is I'm not going to force him.
"Cordelia
found a potion that will keep my soul in place... and before I knew it, here I
was. Looking for you. Because I thought you might... understand about being
lonely and just needing a connection to someone for once. And I didn't realize
until I let myself think about you that I have missed you. But you're right, it
was completely ridiculous of me to think you'd just brush off our history and
...
"I'll
go," I add as I head for the door. "Sorry... about everything."
Oh,
no fuckin' *way* is he gonna make *me* feel guilty about not giving him some.
"FUCK
YOU, ANGELUS!" I yell. "That's all you can do is run! Well, go run
away, *AGAIN*. Nothin' I haven't seen before."
I
light up a cigarette and hop on my sarcophagus to sit. "For as many people
as you show your back, *you* certainly never got a good buggering," I
mumble.
Damn.
I'm *sure* as hell not gonna get a good toss in tonight, am I?
Not
after *this* fun memory of times past... and *no* I'm not bitter.
Not
at all bitter than he'll pay more damn attention to the fuckin' slayer to his
own blood.
I
think there's actually a bit of insanity inducing formula in this potion.
Because I turn to him and say... "Is that what you want, Boy? Do you want
to fuck me?" The cigarette falls from his mouth and I smirk. I'm just
playing, of course. I wouldn't...
Would
I?
Damn,
at this point, I don't know. I'm so horny. Just kissing him, tasting him,
sliding my fingers through his hair... that made it SO much worse.
Huh?
Huh?
HUH?!
NO.
No. No. No. A *world* of no.
No
way. See, he *always* tried to buy his way out of this stuff. He'd kill a
little five year old for Dru, or bring me chocolates to eat from his arse...
bring Darla rich, lavish men.... young boys...
NO.
"No.
What I want is to watch you be tortured for the rest of eternity, down in Hell,
from a demon with a huge monster cock- so that maybe you'll understand what it
feels like to be *screwed*."
I
deserved that. I know this.
And I
could just leave... But maybe he's right about that. Things get tough, I run.
"Will..."
And there I go again. I swear, I am *not* doing that on purpose. "If there
was anything I could do to change things, first on my list would be the fact
that I left you and Dru, back in China." That's right, I didn't mention
Darla, for a reason. I know she's the mother of my child but she was the reason
I left.
"I
would at least have let you know about the curse, and given you the choice to
turn me away like Darla did," I shrug. "But I can't change it. And I
hate that you can't forgive me, but that doesn't mean I don't understand it.
Like I said, though. I'll leave. I never meant to--"
"Never
meant to what, Angel? Throw us away? Treat us like yesterday's garbage? Make us
depend on you and bloody *worship* you and *love* you and then rip our hearts
out?"
I
stand up, fuming. "Do you even *know* how long Dru cried? How loudly she
screamed your name at nights? How blinding the pain was for her? For me?
"No,
of course you didn't. Because you didn't *ask*. You weren't *there*. And you
*don't* *give* a damn." And I am *not* going to cry in front of him. I
take a deep breath before saying, "So don't come here when you're horny
and expect the world, because I'm not your whore anymore. If the slayer is so
bleedin' important that you turn your back on your family, then you don't deserve
to *have* one. Now GET OUT!"
Oh
but I know the pain, Will. I feel it every day... have for a century. But I
won't tell you because you're right. I don't deserve you.
"But
you're wrong about me not giving a damn. I left because I did. If I didn't I
would've been able to just stake you both while you slept... And you were never
my whore. You were my favorite, my beautiful childe...I'm leaving," I add
when I realize I'm just adding to his pain. No way to fix it.
"I
won't bother you again. But if you get a call from Wesley, take it. Don't
aggravate him before he can give you his message. Because if he calls, it's
because he's finally found the way to deactivate that chip in your brain."
And
no he doesn't like that idea, but I promised him I'd let him do the Gypsy curse
afterward... Never meant to follow through with that promise, though. Stole the
floppy disk he had it on.
I'm
through with letting people - including me - hurt my boy.
Come
again?
He-
he... *no*.
He
*knew*? All this time... he... I was just- letting off steam, but h- I guess he
would have had to. I'm sure he woulda killed me if I was actively hunting and
in the same town as his bleedin' slayer.
"Whatever,"
I shrug. "Don't make much difference now."
He's
wrong though. I *was* his whore, even when he wasn't there... he was always on
my mind- in my thoughts... like a bleedin' virus.
"Just
leave. It's what you do best anyway. Don't need anything from you."
And
*that's* a lie.
God,
I *know* it's a lie.
I
always thought if he would just show even the slightest bit of *caring* or
affection... of giving a damn... then that would be all I would need... that it
would make everything all right.
But
it's so much more.
This
damn chip is just the tip of it. The pathetic-ness of my life... why do I stick
around Sunnydale anyway?
Because
I'm hoping that one day, she'll have such a bad day, that the slayer will just
come and put me out of misery.
I
should just keep going. Walk out. Let him keep hating me.
But I
just can't let him think ... "Don't you get it, Will? I didn't come here
because I thought you might need me. I know better. I came because I needed
you." I shrug. "I didn't even know where I was going when I got in
that car. It was all instinct. And the second I realized I was in Sunnydale,
*you* were the one I was looking for.
"And
maybe you can't forgive... I don't deserve it. Never will... But I just hoped
that at least we could have one night... One night in which we can just be us
again. The whole drive up here... I kept thinking about... Prague." He
knows what I'm referring to, the year that Darla and Dru went to visit The
Master, and Will and I stayed in Prague. I think that year was the best one of
my entire existence.
Oh
damn.
He
*had* to being up the most erotic nights of my entire existence, did he?
That's just *evil*.
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