SERIES : Death Was Her Gift
PAIRING : Buffy/Spike
RATING : NC17
SPOILERS : "The Gift",
during the episode
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters. Nor do I own "Do What You Have To Do" by Sarah McLachlan.
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"We're
not all going to make it. You know this." She says, but even as she does,
the words don't carry meaning. They can't. She can't think about that. If she
does, she'll surely break down again and she can't afford that. Not now. Not
tonight, when her sister might bleed.
"Yeah,
well, I always knew I'd go down fightin'."
"I'm
counting on you," She says and it fills him with a kind of peaceful bliss
that he's never known. "To protect her." She says in complete
sincerity.
"Til
the end of the world, even if it happens to be tonight."
He hands
her the weapons and their fingers brush against each other. It's the closest
he's been to her when they weren't fighting. It sends a shiver up his spine and
he can't remember when he last felt that.
It
affects her too but it shouldn't. "I'm gonna go change." She
announces, her eyes on the floor.
"I'll
be here." He says as she turns to go upstairs and he swears she smiled a
little for him. Her smile lights up the sky and her voice is almost heavenly.
"I know you never loved me." He adds. He feels the urge to tell her,
one last time, what she means to him. "I know I'm just a monster."
But he can't, won't, tell her how he feels. She doesn't need that burden.
"But you treat me like a man. And that's something."
She
hesitates for a second. It's so wrong, on so many levels. But one of them might
not make it. The world might not be here tomorrow and she doesn't care.
"Maybe I could." She whispers and his eyes perk up. "I've got
some weapons in my room. Can you help me?" She says louder and with that,
she turns and disappears into her room.
She's
never asked for help before with carrying weapons. He knows this and he can't
help but hope that perhaps he could touch her lips once more before he meets
the end. "Sure thing, Luv." He says and follows her up.
When he
gets there, she's got her shirt off to change. "Oh, I'm sorry." He
says and backs out.
"I'm
not." She whispers without remembering that vampires can hear much better
than anyone else.
He walks
back into the room and her body tingles, as it has so many other times when he
walked into a room. He take the time to memorize the way the lace is shaped to
her breasts before looking up again. It's more than he ever hoped for. One
glance. A glimmer of hope.
"I
know I never loved you." She says. "But you treat me like a woman,
not a slayer. And that's something."
He walks
over to her, half-expecting a stake in the heart or a slap in the face.
Instead, she stands still as he stands but millimeters away from her lithe
body. He notices her uneven breath and dares to reach out and caress the swell
of her breasts gently. He hears her heartbeat quicken and looks up at her
before he realizes that her lips are closing in on his.
When
they meet, he's more than surprised. He's shocked. It takes him a minute to
kiss her back and another minute to realize that she's pushed his duster off.
And they both know that there isn't time for any of it. They both know that
they need to get back to the real world. But she doesn't want to be there right
now and neither does he. He knows she needs to feel something of hope, of love…
of something other than despair. So he kisses her and she pulls his shirt off.
Her
hands run over his pale chest and his body is on fire, something he's not felt
since one night in a barn in 1880. His hands wrap around her waist and slide
towards the hooks that bind her breasts.
The lace
falls helplessly to the floor as the two slowly move towards her bed. He feels
her fingers at his zipper. "Buffy…" He whispers. He feels overwhelmed
with emotion, not quite believing that he won't wake up. Hoping that he'll keep
dreaming, at the same time, because the moment is too perfect to leave.
"Shhh…"
She places a finger over his lips. He sees it, in her eyes, that she doesn't
want words. Their lives are probably about to end and she just needs to feel
something good, for once. He understands and he kisses her as she unzips his
jeans. His fingers take on a life of their own as they work the zipper of her
jeans.
Soon,
the two fall on the bed, with her on top. Her body is strength and, if he
closes his eyes tight enough, love. He argues with himself, tells himself that
she isn't just using him. Maybe she just can't say the words because she's been
down that path once before. There has to be love there, he can feel it in her
body.
Suddenly
the need for her just takes over. He flips them over before kissing down her
body, over her nipples and navel to her sex. He's surprised to find her wet,
though he doesn't know why he's stunned, since he can smell her desire in the
air.
She
feels his cool tongue at her entrance, teasing her and licking her. She feels
his hands on her thighs and then his fingers inside her and she cries out in
bittersweet pleasure. And she thinks to herself that her mortal enemy shouldn't
be able to give her such ecstasy. Her mortal enemy shouldn't be the one that
she counts on.
But the
thoughts quickly pass because it seems as though her mortal enemy is the only
one that stays with her long enough. Her mortal enemy is the only one who comes
back.
He continues
to move inside her. Is this really the girl he came to Sunnydale to kill? Was
this the girl he'd spent hours hunting and studying? Was he really making love
to the girl he heard about in a bar in Boston? She is the slayer. The Chosen
One. He shouldn't love her as much as he does. He shouldn't be able to love at
all, let alone a slayer. And he certainly shouldn't love her more than
Drusilla. But he does.
"SPIKE!"
She screams as she comes. The sound is true music to his ears. To hear his name
pass her lips when so many times before he heard her scream 'Riley.'
She
needs to feel him now and he needs to feel her as well. She needs to know a
man's body once more. If the world is going to end, she needs to feel once
more, another's pleasure.
He
crawls up her body and she feels him rubbing against her. His eyes question her
and she spreads her legs to invite him inside. He enters her ever so slowly and
watches her face. He wants to memorize it. He has a feeling that he should
remember this.
She's
hot and tight and absolutely beautiful, as he gently thrusts inside. Her body
arches up to meet his and their lips meet again. He enjoys the taste of her
mouth and the touch of her tongue. He likes her fingers on his back and her
breath on his neck.
She
enjoys the way he feels inside her body and the touch of his lips. She enjoys
the purring coming from his chest and the way his eyes clearly adore her. She
never saw it before. She never realized that it wasn't just lust. It wasn't
just obsession. It was love. Pure and true. And somewhere in her gut, she knows
that this is the only time she'll ever experience that.
She
closes her eyes and concentrates on the feeling. She ignores the memories of
Masters and Mayors, souls and gypsies. She doesn't want to think about the real
possibility of losing her sister, or worse, having to kill her. She tries to
ignore the agony inside her but can't. She starts crying, out of joy and
sorrow, out of realizing that love was hers to have, but she continually pushed
him away.
She
opens her eyes to find him staring at her with equal tears and their lips meet
sweetly. If this will be her last chance to experience his adoration, she's
going to experience fully and completely.
So she
lives and she breaths and she accepts him into her, over and over again. She
cries out and calls his name and feels his muscles under her hands. And she's
swept away by the tears in his eyes when they crash together.
He relaxes beside her for a second before she sits up and
gets out of bed. There's work to be done and what happened in the room must be
left there. They both understand that. "I never…" He starts to say
but doesn't quite know what he wanted to say. "I…"
She walks over to him and kisses him deeply. "I
know." She whispers.
They
stand up and get dressed and walk hand in hand back the magic shop.
He looks
up and sees her body laying limp on the ground. And he is destroyed.
Glowing ember, burning hot, burning slow
And deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing
for only you
I know I can't be with you, I'll do what I have to do
Oh I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do
And I don't know how to let you go
~El Fin~
Onto the next part : It's In The Stars (by spotlighting
author dru's bitch!)
Back to the Home of Death Was Her Gift
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