SERIES : Death Was Her Gift
PAIRING : Buffy/Spike
RATING : PG14
SPOILERS : "The Gift"
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.
NOTES & WARNINGS : character
death (not horribly or anything)
=====================================================================
I
remember falling. I remember feeling my blood boiling and being torn apart. I
remember feeling completely weightless and unimportant. And the last thing I
remember is a feeling of peace, of finally knowing that it was over.
That *I*
was over.
And I
remember standing up and seeing my body, limp and broken on the ground. I can
still see the tears in Willow's eyes and pain in Xander's. I remember looking
over and seeing Dawn flying down the stairs, only to fall to her knees and
shriek.
I can
still see the trees as I followed them back to the house. I watched as they
cried. I can see Dawn walking upstairs with a vacant look in her eyes as she
shook. She fell to the floor in the hallway and I can see Spike taking her in
his arms and stumbling into her room.
He held
her there, all day and all night. And I watched as they wept together.
He's
beautiful. I've watched him for so long. I've watched him train new slayers and
I've watched him fight by their sides. I watched him be strong for everyone,
while he crumbled inside. And I've loved him.
I'm not
sure when it happened. Maybe it was when I saw his eyes as they laid me to
rest. Perhaps it was as I watched his blood tears falling upon my grave every
night at midnight, for seventy years. Perhaps it was when he held my baby
sister's hand as she passed away painlessly in the night, or when he walked her
down the aisle. I'm just not sure. There have been so many moments. So many
days sitting by his side, touching his face, running my fingers effortlessly
through his hair. And in some way, I think he knew I was there. I think he
knew, when I would lay beside him and whisper his name.
And now
he's here, again. Shedding tears for us both.
"Slayer,"
He whispers. "I thought that you should know that Dawnie is gone. She's on
the other side of your mum. She didn't feel any pain, I don't think." He pauses
as his tears fall upon the crimson circle in the ground. He's cried so many
times that the ground is blood red.
I touch
his shoulder as I have for years. "Spike." I whisper.
"Buffy?"
He whispers before turning around. "Buffy!" His eyes light up with
joy.
"Can
you see me?" I ask him in disbelief.
"Yes!"
He reaches out but his fingers pass right through my body and the light in his
eyes disappears. I'm not real and it hurts him. He pulls away and looks at me.
"You came back."
"I've
always been here." I tell him. "Every night."
"I
know." He nods his head a little and flashes me a small smile.
"I
know you did." I smile back.
"Dawn…
she…" I can see tears start to form in his eyes. He hurts for me and Dawn.
"She's
with me, with us… Mom and I."
"Oh.
Good." He seems content at that and looks down before saying,
"Slayer… I…" But he can't continue. He just looks up at me with tears
in his eyes. I know what he wants to say.
I extend
my hand to him and whisper, "Let's dance." He looks almost relieved
as he takes my hand, like he's been waiting to die, finally. He seems peaceful
with the knowledge.
I pull
him towards me and by some miracle; his arms are able to hold me close. He
inhales deeply, his nose in my hair. "God, I love you so much." He
says, but I already know.
"I
love you too, Spike."
"What?"
He looks at me and I can't believe that all these years, he knew I was there
and didn't know how much I love him. He still doesn't believe me. Maybe he
doesn't want to admit it to himself because it would mean that his death will
separate us. I press my lips against his gently as I plunge the stake into his
heart. He turns to dust in my hands and I watch them fall upon the tears he's
cried.
I turn
around and see him standing there. "Your job's well done." I say.
"It's time. Dawn's waiting for us." I extend my hand to his and
smile.
"Oh
Buffy!" He whispers before taking my hand. We leave this Earth behind.
~El Fin~
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