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SERIES : the Buffy & Angelus Chronicles

PAIRING : Buffy/Angelus, Buffy/Angel (at end)

RATING : NC17

SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters. Nor do I own “Stop” (Matchbox20).

NOTES & WARNINGS : Entire series has : rape, torture, character deaths & pain (these things are not in every part).

 

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// Yes it's true that I believe
I'm weaker than I used to be//

 

She felt like shit. She still couldn't believe that her friends had gone out when she told them not to. "Yeah, but I'm still the Slayer. And as long as I am, Angel's not gonna kill anybody else." She said. And even as she spoke the words, she thought about two nights ago, in his room, when he'd told her he loved her.

"Aw, c'mon." She whipped around to face him. "Just one more."

 

Angelus lunged past Buffy and tackled Cordelia. He was pissed that her friends were there. If they hadn't been, then he would be able to touch her. Buffy grabbed him by the back of his coat and pulled him away from Cordelia. He couldn't believe it when she took him by the coat collar and swung at him with the stake. He  blocked her and grabbed her arm.

He couldn't help but be concerned when she dropped the stake. Yet at the same time, the part of him that knew he should hate her was thrilled that she was weak. That part of him told him to kill her.

"Not feeling well, Lover?" He said, and immediately regretted how cold it sounded. NO! He didn't care if it was cold. He was supposed to hate her! She punched him in the jaw and he glared back at her before trying to kick her.

 

                Buffy grabbed his foot and threw him back. "That helped." She said coldly.

                As they continued to fight, she almost wanted to start crying. Just two nights ago, she'd been in his arms, making quasi-love to him. And now, it was as if it never happened. He grabbed her by the throat and she was afraid. Truly afraid.

"You know, you being off your game's kinda takin' the fun out of all this." Then he punched her in the face and she started to fall backwards. "Nope, still fun!"

                Before Buffy realized what had happened, she found herself pinned underneath his body, much like she'd been the other night. She recognized the feel of his hard cock against her and got confused.

                "Oh-oh. This does *not* look good for our heroine."

                She braced herself for his bite until she realized that he was gone and she was standing up. Everything was spinning and the last thing she knew was that the ground was hard.

 

                He really got concerned when he saw her fall to the ground. She really was sick. He'd thought it might be an act, for her friends, as his had been. (Or at least most of it.) But now he was really concerned.

 

//I wear my heart out on my sleeve
and I forget the rest of me//

LATER THAT NIGHT

 

                Death. That's what the boy had said. Death.

                Buffy sat, uneasy and scared, on the side of her bed. She heard a tapping on the window outside her room and turned to see Angelus standing on the window sill.

                She turned away; but the tapping became louder and she was afraid a nurse would hear it and come in. She was afraid he would kill the nurse, or someone else, if she didn't give him what he wanted.

                She hobbled over and opened the window a little, using all that was left of her strength to hold it open only a inch. To her surprise, he didn't try to open it further. "What? If you want a battle to the death, I'm afraid you picked a bad night."

                "I wanted to know if you were okay."

                "Why do you care?" She snapped.

                "Can I come in?"

                "If I said no, would you listen?"

                "Just let me in."

                "I guess the answer would be no, then." She walked away from the window and he opened it up and climbed inside.

 

                He could understand why she didn't believe him. "Look, I'm new at this."

                "At what? Trying to kill me? You're doing an excellent job so far, though I guess it's ironic, yet fitting, that I go in a hospital, huh?" She started to fall back and he caught her and helped her to the bed. "That would be two Summers' to die in a hospital, or rather to be murdered there."

                "Two?"

                "Nothing."

He thought back to when he stood and watched them admit her. She'd been terrified. "Come on, tell me."

                "What is this? Get to know you before I kill you? Save it. We know each other already, probably a little too well."

                "I'm not going to kill you, Buffy." He said. She looked shocked. "I didn't come here to kill you. I came here… because we did it wrong earlier. It's just that your friends were there and I was mad."

                "Is there ever a time when you're *not* mad?" She asked.

                He looked at her and winked, "When I'm inside you."

                "I have a hard time believing that."

                "Okay, so that's not true, but it's the closest I come." He smiled at the small pun, and was happy when she did too. "I was here when they brought you in. You were pretty delirious. You begged Giles to help you kill the vampires."

                "Oh." Her face paled a little.

                "Relax, they passed it off as part of the fever."

                "Good." She relaxed a little. "So if you're not here to kill me, will you help get me home?"

                "You need to rest."

                "No. I hate hopsitals. I wanna get out of here."

                "Why?"

                "I just *told* you."

                "No, why do you hate hospitals?"

                "When I was eight, my cousin was sick. I went to visit her while my mom was in the bathroom and…"

                "What?"

                "She died, right in front of me. It was horrible."

                "That's tough."

                "You're lucky, you never had hospitals to be afraid of."

                "Yeah, but we had plagues and stuff."

                "Oh, right. That sucks."

                "So are you feeling a little better?"

                "A little. They say I might get to go home tomorrow, but I don't know if I can do that."

                "Why?"

                "There's something going on, slayer stuff."

                "Like what?"

                "It's just that, last night, I think I saw something. Something gross… almost like a demon, who was following a couple kids that walked by my room." She reached over to her table and showed him the picture. "Look familiar? One of the kids was drawing this. He says it's Death, that it comes for the children."

                "Doesn't sound familiar. I'm not too knowledgable with kid stuff. Adult-hunting demons, I can help you with."

                "It's just… I wanna help these kids. Kids shouldn't have to deal with this, they should be young and happy."

                "Like your cousin?"

 

//Yes there's times I've been afraid
and there's no harm in that I pray
cuz I'm more frightened everyday
someone will take the hope I have away//

                She couldn't believe how sweet he was being. "Tell me what happened to her."

                She shook her head and felt that she was on the verge of tears.

"Tell me, Buffy."

                "It was like… she just started screaming and trying to fight, like something was on top of her. She kept screaming and screaming and I tried to ask what was wrong but she just kept screaming. And then she just went quiet."

                "Is it possible it's the same thing?"

                "I suppose. Giles and Willow are working on it. Hopefully we'll have something soon." She glanced at her clock. "They'll be coming around for rounds soon."

                "Then I should get going." He stood and placed a blanket over her. "I'll try to come back tomorrow, if I can get away."

                "You're the sire, you can just leave."

                "You're the slayer, you can just tell them to deal with me."

                "Touche."

                "If I can help…" He headed towards the window without speaking the rest. Then he turned, walked back, placed a kiss on her forehead and went back to the window.

                She watched as she climbed out. "Oh," He said, "In case anyone says anything, I came here earlier. Xander has flowers for you, though he probably won't give them to you."

                "Right. I assume you were mean?"

                "Am I anything but?" He winked and closed the window behind him.

 

THE NEXT NIGHT

 

                As Buffy fled down the hallway, she vaguely heard Willow screaming, "Frogs!"

                She stumbled around, trying to find her room. If she could find her room, she could find the children. She could find Death. Death? She didn't really want to find Death, but she remembered that was the point of this.

                "Buffy?"

                She looked towards the door and saw him. "Angelus." She whispered.

 

                "What happened?" He could tell she was sick again. He could smell the virus on her again; that sick smell that infected humans. He'd smelled it the other night in the cemetary and now it was back..

                "The basement. Death in the basement with the kids."

                "What did you do?"

                "Get me there."

                "Okay." He supported her and headed for the basement. "If you tell me what happened?"

                "Drank some of the virus."

                "WHY?" He growled.

                In her delirium, she looked up. "I almost think you care."

                "I do. Why did you *do* that?"

                "Cause only sick kids can see it and I can't fight something that I can't see."

                "You really *will* do anything to save lives."

                "Yeah, let's not you and me put that to the test." She whispered as he opened the door. She heard screaming and immediately ran after the demon. He watched as something pushed her around. "Weapon!" She yelled.

                He reached into his pocket and threw the knife over to her and watched as two seconds later, the knife was thrown out of her hand by… *something*. When he saw Buffy being choked from behind by the thing, he got concerned. He shouldn't be. He knew that much. But… she was his and he didn't want her getting hurt. He didn't understand it but he didn't want to think about it too much. He ripped his duster off and approached Buffy and the… whatever it was.

He took off his duster quickly and threw it over Buffy, which aided him in seeing the outline of what was attacking her. He punched at it and Buffy got thrown to the side. Angelus was quick to keep the duster over the thing while he continued punching it.

 

                The kids. The kids were screaming. She stumbled over to the kids. "Ryan…" She whispered as she struggled to stay up. He took her hand and the kids formed a small chain by holding hands. She led them to the door. "Run back upstairs to your rooms." She said and the kids took off together.

                She turned back to see the demon kick Angelus pretty hard in the chest. She ran over and grabbed the thing as it was about to attack her lover again.

 

                He got up and watched for a second as whatever it was started wailing on her again. For the first time since losing his soul, he was nervous and truly concerned. Damn it. He could *feel* the humanity growing inside him. But it wasn't the soul anymore, it was Buffy.

                He didn't have time to think. He ran over to her and try to hit whatever it was that was hurting her but he got grabbed from behind and thrown against the wall.

 

//But you gotta give it up to get off sometimes
you gotta give it up to get off sometimes//

 

                She was thrown to the ground and was screaming and struggling as he made his way over to her. Her arms were pinned to her sides so he lunged for her and tried to grab whatever it was. He was stopped by a form and he pulled on it. Angelus saw Buffy yank he hands free and then heard a snap. She appeared to push something off her chest and looked up at him as he straddled her. "Are you okay?" He asked as he got up and offered her a hand.

                "Actually, I think I'm starting to feel better. Let's..."

                "He's dead right? I mean, I heard something snap."

"Yeah, he's dead." He helped her up the stairs and they reached the door to the main hallway. "You can't go out there with me." She said. "Xander and Willow are there."

"I know."

 

                He hated what this was doing to him. He hated having… feelings. He hated knowing that he actually thought he loved her. It wasn't right. But even as she stood there, he couldn't help it.

 

//you gotta give it up to get get off sometimes, I know//

 

                He pulled her into his arms and thoroughly kissed her. She responded to him and kissed him back. Her hands encircled his neck and played with this hair while he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him.

 

                He felt so good against her. His tongue. His lips. His arms. She didn't care if it was wrong.

 

//But you gotta give it up to get off sometimes//

 

                "Oh god." She moaned into the kiss. He moved his lips down to her jugular and she knew she shouldn't let him. She knew it was dangerous, but she didn't care. She just needed him so much.

//you gotta give it up to get off sometimes

you gotta give it up to get get off sometimes, I know//

                "I better go." He said as he pulled away.

                "No." She whimpered.

                "Your friends will be looking for you."

                "And Spike and Dru will be looking for you."

                He started to open the door for her but threw it shut and slammed her against it. He pinned her against the door as his mouth smashed upon hers again in a ravaging, punishing kiss that left her breathless. He pulled away and licked the corners of her mouth as he did. "I just… I can't get enough of you."

                "Me either." She whimpered. "Come to me later. Tomorrow night, my room."

                He kissed her brutally again and whispered, "Okay." With that he left, back down the stairs towards the sewers to get outside. Once he was out of sight, Buffy opened the door to face her friends. The ones she was betraying with him.

 

THE NEXT NIGHT

 

                She was laying in her bed, twiddling her fingers. Yes. She was actually twiddling her thumbs when she heard the knock on the window. She stood up and went to the window to open it.

                As soon as she did, she was tackled to the ground with a very horny and hard vampire on top of her. She kissed him back as she felt his hands under her shirt.

                "Hello to you too." She whimpered against his lips.

                "I've been waiting for this *all* day." Within seconds, she felt his hands rubbing her bare chest as her shirt fell to her sides. She moaned softly as his lips attacked her breasts and he began suckling her.

                "Me too… but…" She tried to push him off and eventually did after she kneed him in the groin gently.

                "What?" He growled as he rolled off her and looked at her with lust in his eyes.

                "First of all, my mom's home, so be quiet. Secondly, I haven't seen you, let me catch my breath."

                "You're seeing me now. So, comere, Lover."

                He reached for her but she jumped up off the floor. "My body's still a little sore from being sick. Let's go on my bed."

                He jumped up and lunged after her. He landed on top of her on the bed with a thud and she giggled. "Animalistic, but good." She whispered before he claimed her mouth again.

                "I'm hungry for you, Buffy."

 

                And it was the truth as he devoured her mouth. He'd been waiting for her all day, thinking about her, fucking Dru while picturing *her*. Her mouth was so sweet, so warm. He felt her hands pushing his duster off and he shrugged out of it. Then she began unbuttoning his shirt as he kissed her, exploring her mouth with his tongue.

                He got his shirt off and slid his hands into her shorts. "Angelussss…" She hissed as she felt his fingers slip inside her sopping passage. "Oh god, please…"

                He pulled his fingers out and whispered, "Let's get the rest of these clothes off." He stood up and stripped his jeans off while she slipped out of her shorts.

                "Lock my door." She said.

                He did and returned to the bed with her. He crawled up her body and trailed his tongue up the length of her as he did. She moaned in anticipation as she felt his cock rubbing against her sex. "Come inside…" She whispered. "*Please*."

                "Alright." He whispered as she guided him into her body. They both moaned in ecstacy as they joined for the first time in a week. He felt hungry for her, as if he hadn't ever touched her before, as if he might never touch her again.

 

                Buffy felt him stretching her as he entered her over and over. "ANGELUS!" She screeched and immediately bit down on his shoulder to stifle more cries as she remembered where she was.

 

                When she bit him, he growled loudly and buried his fangs in her neck as he exploded inside her. He felt her contracting around him, milking him for his dead seed. "Buffy." He moaned.

                "Buffy?" He immediately froze at the sound of her mother's voice.

                "Yeah, Mom?"

                "Are you okay?"

                "Just a nightmare. I'm fine."

                "Okay. Try to get some sleep."

                "Kay." When Angelus was sure that Joyce was completely gone, he started moving again inside her. She bit him and moaned as he hardened again.

                "I just can't get enough of you." He whispered in her ear before nibbling on it.

 

                "Me neither. Oh god…" She felt his fingers working her clit while he kissed her deeply.

                "Come for me, Lover." He demanded as he pinched her clit and pounded into her.

                "Fuck." She screamed into his mouth.

                He flipped them over and she sat upright on him. "That's it, Baby. Ride me hard." She complied and began at a fast pace. "That's it, fuck yourself on me. Do it harder."

                She bit her lip to keep from crying out as she pulled him in deeper. "Angelusss… my clit."

                "Do it yourself." He said as he grabbed her breasts and squeezed them hard.

                "Fuck!" She whimpered as she rode him faster. She needed release.

                She fingered her clit as he sank his fangs into the valley between her breasts. "ANGELUS!" She screamed as she shook violently in orgasm.

 

                She collapsed on top of him and he felt her heartbeat pounding on top of his chest. He entwined his fingers into her hair as rubbed her back. Her skin was so soft, so perfect and sweet under his hands and lips.

                "I'm glad you came." She whispered.

                "I'm glad I came too."

                "Funny." She said, smiling against his chest.

 

                Without warning, he pushed her off and jumped up. "What?" She felt like she was going to cry again. She remembered the last time they were in her room, the last time that had sex there.

(My whore)

                "Shh…" He whispered as he jumped into his jeans and kissed her softly. "Your mom is making noise. She might be coming here. I don't think you need to answer questions about me."

                "Oh."

                He got dressed quickly and kissed her again. "I want to stay, but I have to go."

                "Okay." She stood and walked him to the window. He left and she unlocked her door before slipping back into bed.

 

THREE NIGHTS LATER

 

                It had been three long nights since she'd last even seen him. She shouldn't care, but she did. She knew it was wrong. She knew it was terribly wrong.

                And she also knew it was also wrong of her to be at the party. She had wanted to find him. But Willow had insisted.

 

                He watched from the shadows as Buffy began talking with a boy. He growled and ran off. He needed to wipe the jealousy from his body. He needed a violent kill.

 

LATER THAT EVENING

 

                She strolled through the cemetery. One last go and she'd call it quits. She was tired. Cameron was nice but he was boring. He could do nothing but talk about the ocean and swimming. In the back of her mind, she silently hoped that the gang didn't feel that way about her and slaying. As she walked, she thought back to all her conversations with them. She didn't talk about slaying *all* the time. Just when appropr-

                "Well, well, if it isn't the premiere tramp of Sunnydale High."

                She turned and found him in gameface. "Angelus." She said with some relief. But before she got a chance to say anything else, he kicked her hard enough to throw her on her ass. "Ow."

                "What's a matter, Lover? Thought you liked it on the bottom."

                "What's wrong with you?" She asked, jumping up and taking her fighting stance.

                "Or maybe you'd rather take it *up* the ass than *on* it. What do you think?"

 

                He was angry when he *wasn't* delighted that she started crying. "Just like a little whore." He snapped. He *had* to get her out of his system if she was gonna tramp around with *boys*. Better yet, he'd kill that boy. He'd kill everyone she talked to.

                She was pissed. He could tell. She turned the tears into anger and lunged at him, barely missing his heart with her stake. "BASTARD!" She screamed at him as she landed on top of him and started beating his chest.

                "I never thought you had it in you, Buff." He growled before flipping them over. "I guess you really do like it *rough*." He said as he thrust his hips against her to drive the point home. "Just like a whore."

                She screamed and kneed him in the groin again before running off.

 

THE NEXT DAY

 

                When Cameron had called and offered her a ride, she had no problem accepting it. If Angelus wanted to play enemies, then she'd be an enemy. Of course, she'd said yes *before* she remembered how incredible boring Cameron was.

                She was sitting in the library now reading through a fish book but really couldn't concentrate. Perhaps she *had* been too hard on Cameron in the car, but… it was the 'rough' comment that cinched the deal. And the more she thought about it, the more she thought about it, the more she needed to talk to someone about it. But there was no one she could turn to. No one would understand. No one would listen without judging her.

                The only one who would understand was- her Angel. She knew he would understand. But he was gone. Forever.

 

//All the times I've given in
you fit me like a second skin//

 

                It was completely hopeless.

 

THAT NIGHT

 

                He'd watched her watching the boy for a good four hours. He was sick of it and the boy was ready to leave. She was just throwing herself at anyone. It made him mad. Beyond mad.

                "What a psycho bitch, man."

"Gotta be talking about Buffy."

The boy turned to face him. He was ugly. What did she want from him anyway? "How'd you know?"

"Uh, she and I... had this thing once. Biggest mistake of my life." And talking to him was the biggest mistake this boy would ever make. Angelus would make sure of that. Buffy had to understand that she was hi- NO! That he was *over* her.

"Yeah. My condolences, Dude."

"She's a real head-tripper."

"Tell me about it. Girl acts like she's God's gift or something."

"Who is she? The chosen one?" Angelus smiled at his own wit.

"Exactly."

"You know, what she really needs is for someone to really knock her down a few notches."

"Yeah, that'd be sweet. Anyone in mind?"

"You're in luck, my friend." He jumped in front of the boy as he turned around. "Just so happens... I'm recruiting."

He bit into the boy's neck as he screamed. "Ah! Somebody! Help! Ah! Help! Ah! Ah! Get him off me! Help! Ah!"

 

                Buffy heard the screams and ran. As she got there, she saw Angelus spitting blood out of his mouth right before she roundhouse kicked him in the face. Stake. Stake! She grabbed the stick from her hair and took her stance.

                "Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful!" He said as he grabbed Gage and threw him at her.

 

//and one by one I will begin
to wear you on the days I'm feeling thin//

 

LATER THAT NIGHT

 

                She crept towards the mansion as quietly as she could. She didn't need a fight. She just needed to know. "Looking for me, Lover?" She gasped in fright and spun around.

                "Not to your liking?" She asked.

                "What? That *child*?"

                "What the fuck is going on?"

                "Why, Miss Summers, your mouth, such language. It's kind of… a turn on."

                "Don't play games with me."

                "I thought that's all we do."

                "What?"

                "I saw you coming onto that guy at the beach."

                "Oh, you're kidding me?! You're jealous?" She had no idea how to process the fact that he was jealous over some other guy. But she also wouldn't excuse it either. However, upon looking him up and down, she grew wet. He was in the leather again. No. She refocused on the task at hand. She needed information, not-

                He growled and started to walk off. She grabbed his arm. "For your information, that *asshole* was basically gonna rape me today, thank you very much."

 

                THAT. WAS. NOT. OKAY. He growled and spun around to look at her. She was scared. He could see it in her eyes. Not scared of him, scared of what had happened, of the other night as well.

                "So you *are* jealous." She said triumphantly.

                He backhanded her. He *had* to get rid of the humanity. He'd been plagued with it for too long. She fell to the ground with a thud. He would *not* be jealous of anything she did. He was *not* going to put with Spike's comments about him being slayer-whipped any longer.

                As she fell, he noticed her beautiful thighs fall open. He gazed upward to where her lace panties barely concealed her neatly trimmed curls and he grew hard. NO! He tried to kick her again but she threw him onto the ground and jumped on top of him with her hair stick at his heart.

                He could feel her heat above him, barely concealed. He saw her breasts heaving and he couldn't help it. He yanked her to him for a brutal kiss.

                "BASTARD!" She screamed and smacked him before standing up. "I'm not your whore, Angelus! When *you* decide what you want, you let me know." With that, she kicked him again and ran off.

 

                That was a very good question. He didn't want the humanity she gave him. He loathed it. He felt it creeping inside him and it made him sick. He hated it. He despised it. And it was all her fault.

 

//But I gotta give it up to get off sometimes
I gotta give it up to get off sometimes

I gotta give it up to get off sometimes, I know//

                But even as the humanity ate away at him, he still wanted her. He craved he- a delicious smile spread across his face as he realized what he wanted. If he couldn't wipe the humanity from himself, he'd take it from her.

                He supposed he'd known it all along, why he was nice to her, why he didn't kill her… why he craved her… She would be his finest creation. She would bring the world to its knees beside him. He would break her.

 

LATER THAT NIGHT

 

                Buffy sat in tears as she thought back over the past few months. There was no doubt that they'd been difficult. She'd done stupid things, crazy things, *delusional* things.

                She'd actually thought he could love her and was desperate enough to believe him when he said he did. But no more. She sat, holding the ring Angel had given her for her birthday, the night they'd made love. *He* was her true love.

                And he was gone. She'd taken his soul and that could never be given back. Or forgiven. She'd killed him and fucked his worst enemy. She murdered Angel. She was worthless. She prayed for death that night.

 

//You'd better stop, stop, stop
using me up
you'd better stop
cuz I've had enough
and I'm ready to forget the reasons
that keep me here//

 

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