Jealousy

 

SERIES : the Chronicles Continuation

SEQUEL TO : the Buffy & Angelus Chronicles

PAIRING : Buffy/Angel, Angel/Spike, Spike/Buffy, Angel/Buffy/Spike

RATING : NC17

SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.

NOTES & WARNINGS : SLASH (m/m) and a little bloodplay

 

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She returned from the kitchen to find the living room vacant. She wondered where the boys were but was unable to find them, as there was a knock at the door. “Hey.” She said to Willow.

      “Hi Buffy.”

      “You’re probably one of the last people I expected to see here.”

      “Yeah well, it’s important. Can I come in?”

      “You’re always welcome Willow, please, come in.”

      “Where are Spike and Angel?”

      “I don’t know, they disappeared so either they are invisible or they are upstairs or out. What’s up?”

      “Buffy, I went to Giles’ tonight.”

      “Oh, so you heard huh?”

      “Yeah, he told me they found you and Spike with some dead guy in the ally.”

      “First off, he wasn’t dead, and he was going to rape some girl.”

      “I believe you Buffy, but the Slayer does not.”

      “I didn’t exactly help the situation but I don’t like her.”

      “She’s nice Buffy, she’s not like Faith, that’s for sure. She’s not my absolute best friend, but she’s nice. Anyway, I was in the bathroom when she came over and got a call from the Council. They’ve ordered her to kill you Buffy. You have to get out of town like yesterday.”

      “Oh, we were actually thinking about moving, we just weren’t sure.”

      “Well, if you’re on the Hellmouth, you’re a target.”

      “Thanks for that Willow. I know things...”

      “Buffy, things aren’t the same. I wish I could be the bigger person and say that it is the same, but it just isn’t and I don’t know how to make it that way again. But it doesn’t mean I want you to be dust, and I’d like us to keep in touch, but things are different. Perhaps we’re finally moving on from high school, you into forever with Angel and me with Tara.”

      “You know in some sick twisted way, it’s like it was destined to be this way with Angel and I. The only fitting way for us, either him dust or me as his childe. Anyway, what are you planning now?”

      “Actually I’m thinking about transferring colleges this coming semester. There are really great computer programs on the east coast and I was thinking about it. Dad freaked but there are also some great programs up North. I don’t know, but I know Angel and Cordy have e-mail so I’ll let you know.”

      “Okay Willow, please do that. Perhaps we’ll never be best friends again, but I don’t wanna be enemies.”

      “We won’t be Buffy. I love you.”

      “I love you too Wills.”

      “Now get out of town.”

      “We will soon. Tell Xander if you see him and if you guys are ever in LA look us up.”

      “I’ll do that.” Buffy hugged her friend and the red head scampered off into the daylight. Buffy missed that. She missed it a lot. She sat on the couch and drank the crimson liquid.

 

**********

      He was standing in the doorway waiting for the virtual stranger. Over the past three nights they’d met each other and walked all night, talking. More like William had talked and Angelus had listened to his life story, but William didn’t know anything about Angelus. Tonight he planned on asking questions.

 

      Angelus let the second body of the nightfall; he was well fed now, no bloodlust. He planned on seducing young William tonight. He wanted one perfect night before bringing the boy into his world. He got to the boy’s house and he was standing in the doorway waiting. Angelus flashed him a smile and the boy met him at the edge of the dirt road. “Evenin’ little Will.” He extended his hand and William took it.

 

      He tried to ignore what was between them. He had never thought of another man the way he thought about Angelus. Perhaps Audrey was right, perhaps he didn’t touch her cause he was uninterested. Although that wasn’t true either, he’d shagged Marilee and Anne, perhaps it was just Audrey. In any event as he held Angelus’ hand he couldn’t deny the attraction he felt to the man. “Evening. What shall we do tonight Angelus?”

      “I thought we’d take a walk by the water’s edge.”

      “That’d be nice.”

**********

 

      He savored the taste of his Sire’s blood, given without hesitation, without blood in return. His Sire had just asserted his dominance over him and he was glad to be back in his arms. It’d been a long time since he’d had those arms to himself. He’d shared them with Darla and Dru and most recently Buffy. When he’d been turned Angelus stayed by him and was there when he woke up. It was two days later that he’d been introduced to Drusilla. He’d loved her the second he saw her, how you not love an innocent? She was just a child mentally. She knew not what she did. How could you not fall for the innocence? He didn’t love her as much as his Sire. He simply couldn’t. His Sire was everything to him. Angelus was his Sire, his Yoda, the bloody embodiment of God. Spike was a born again worshipper of God himself.

      Spike had immediately picked up on the relationship between Drusilla and Angelus. Angelus was tiring of taking care of her. Drusilla had never been a threat to his relationship with his Sire. Angelus spent time with her, but always spent more with him. Angelus had shared Drusilla with him as well. Not at first, at first he’d slept with the fledglings. Angelus had turned him and loved him for two days. They’d gotten back to his house, he’d met Drusilla and then Angelus had banished him to the fledgling’s room.

      He’d been hurt but the night he’d been called to their Sire’s bedroom Angelus had explained. He said that the fledglings had to see him as a normal minion. That their relationship had to appear like that of a normal sire and minion, else Spike would be in danger. So in public, he’d been ignored or hit and embarrassed, but Angelus always made up for it behind closed doors. Such was their relationship until the night Angelus had declared in front of the Master and Darla and the court that William the Bloody was the favored childe of the Scourge of Europe himself. Spike had seen the glint of hatred and rage in Darla’s eye when the announcement had been made and from that moment on she’d tried everything she could to keep them separated. She succeeded ultimately; she’d ripped Angelus away from him, but from herself as well, which gave Spike immense pleasure, despite the horrible loneliness.

      Darla had threatened his life, but never his Sire’s love and devotion. Drusilla had taken his time, but was never a threat. Angelus had long tired of her before William had ever shown up. But now? Buffy WAS most certainly a threat to his Sire’s time and devotion. She’d already proved as much. His obsession over her had damn near cost Spike his life numerous times. Angel loved Buffy, he was in love with her, the kind of love he’d thought he had with his Sire. Perhaps it had just been adoration long ago, but he’d thought it love, and now it was for sure. And Buffy threatened that. He loved sharing Buffy with Angel, but ultimately she was Angel’s, and his soul was hers. He could’ve live with sharing Angel with Buffy, but not after what had just happened. Angel couldn’t make love to him and call him Will and then go back to the way things had been. It couldn’t happen, if it did, it would crush Spike. He couldn’t be pushed away by his Sire one more time.

 

      He rested his chin on Spike’s shoulder. Spike and William, William and Spike. Two entirely different entities in the same body, like Angel and Angelus. Was there really that much of a difference? For him, inside him, there was. There was in Spike too. Spike was the result of a favored childe abandoned by his adoring Sire, left to care for the crazed childe and said Sire. Angel did not doubt that Spike loved Dru, the way a father loves his daughter, granted their relationship had been slightly incestuous by human standards, not of course by vampire standards. However Angel very much doubted if he was ever IN love with her, not like he had been with Angelus. And perhaps that was the worst thing he ever did.

      In the years before the curse, after announcing William as his favorite childe, they’d been together. They’d killed, fucked, maimed, raped, made love and drank together. They’d shared Drusilla and made homes together, and wrecked homes together. He’d never said it, the Scourge of Europe did not use such words, but he’d loved his William very much. William had adored him and worshipped him. Then came the curse and the breaking of the curse and the new Angelus had sought to destroy anything and everything. He was obsessed with Buffy and to hell with the rest of the world. He’d seen the sparkle in Spike’s eyes at the prospect of having his Sire back. He took that returning affection and twisted it and used it to hurt Spike. He’d fucked him raw and let the minions at him and took away the one other thing that gave him comfort, Drusilla. He’d exploited William and Angelus’ relations the worst way he could.

      When he’d returned with the pills, he’d gone after Spike for things he’d done to his souled self. He’d hurt Spike once more, but had forgiven him, but it was empty forgiveness and he knew it. Buffy’s breakdown had shown that he was no longer the passionate man he’d once been. The demon gave up control and Angel had forgiven Spike everything, after all, he’d created Spike. He could never regret Spike, that much was true. If he could do it all over again, he’d do exactly the same thing with William. Sometimes he wished he’d never left to meet Darla. He often wondered what would have happened. What would he have been like now? Such things were useless to think about, but it still got the better of his thoughts occasionally.

      He’d left Spike to pick up the pieces of Buffy’s broken heart and he had. He’d fallen in love. He could see it so clearly in Spike’s eyes, the adoration and worship that had once been for him. He couldn’t help but be jealous of that. He wondered if Buffy returned the feelings, was that possible? Spike knew what Buffy had been thinking when she’d tried to kill herself. She shared so much more with him than she did with Angel. Not just thoughts, but personality and it hurt.

      He should check on Buffy anyway. He withdrew his arm from around Spike’s waist. “So you’re just leaving?”

      “We just kinda left Buffy downstairs Spike.”

 

      Always had to run to the Slayer, that was his Sire. He was completely pussy-whipped, by a Slayer no less. What bothered Spike more was the fact that he completely understood. “So?” He asked turning around to see Angel sitting on the edge of the bed.

      “So she was going to make us breakfast and we just disappeared. She just announced this whole big manifesto on how she’s okay and she might not be. She may need me.”

      Spike jumped up mad. “Did it ever occur to you, ANGELUS, that *I* may need you?”

 

      He spun around to face his childe; the hurt in his eyes was unbearable. “Spike...”

      “No never mind I see how it is. You’re so damned guilty about taking the chit’s life that none of your other responsibilities matter. That’s just fine, not the only time I’ve taken a back seat to her. If you want her to yourself why didn’t you just say that instead of pretending?”

      “Spike what are you talking about?”

      “So now it’s Spike huh? I get it. Even with that pesky soul you’re a bastard, ANGEL. That’s just fine with me.”

 

      Spike quickly threw his clothes on, knowing he had two more hours before the sun broke the black sky. Angel stood, naked, and dumb-founded. He did nothing to stop him. That was it then. “WHAT are you talking about?” Angel asked again.

      “If you don’t know then it’s even more hopeless than I ever thought it was. Don’t worry about me, *Sire* I’ll be just fine.”

      “Where are you going?”

      “The fuck away from here I can tell you that.”

      “You can’t take care of yourself.” Spike grabbed his duster.

      “Like hell I can’t. I certainly don’t need your pity, especially from someone more pathetic than me.” He brushed past Angel on his way to the door. Angel grabbed his arm. “Let go of me.”

      “No.”

      “Let. Go. Of. Me.”

      “Where the hell is this coming from Spike? Why are you doing this to us?”

      “To US? What us? There’s you and the Slayer. I’ve just been a distraction and I don’t need to be that to you again.” He was going to leave before he was left. “Now let go of me.” Angel didn’t. Spike growled loudly and struck his Sire. Angel’s grip lessened and he pulled away and was down the stairs and out the door before Angel even caught up.

 

      He sat on the edge of the bed for what seemed like hours after Spike left. He heard a knock on the door. “Angel? Are you okay? Spike ran out a while ago, what happened?”

 

      She approached him and Angel was crying. “Angel? Talk to me, what happened?”

      “We had a fight and he left.”

      “About what?”

      “I don’t know. We’ve never fought like that before, he was so hurt, he was shaking.”

      “What happened before the fight? And remind me to tell you about our visitor.”

      “Visitor?”

      “Later, what happened before the fight?”

      “We made love.” The words struck her like a freight train. He made love with Spike, without her present, without her knowing. She had no idea, which infuriated her more, that her Angel had made love to Spike, or that her Spike had made love to Angel. Or the fact that they shared this and countless other experiences that she would never have. They’d most likely had sex in blood baths they’d created, they’d tortured people together and hunted together and Spike had one thing she could never have, the true love of Angel’s demon.

      “Oh.” She couldn’t say anything else.

      “Buffy?”

      “Yeah?”

      “Are you okay?”

      “Fine. Where’s he go?”

      “I don’t know but we have to go looking for him.”

      “Angel it’s practically dawn, it’s dangerous and there are other pressing matters.”

      “What else is as pressing as the possible burning of my favorite childe?” His favorite childe? Angel still thought of Spike as that? She shouldn’t be surprised, he had after all just made love to Spike.

      “I don’t know, perhaps the hunting down of your least favorite I suppose, but who cares if the Council wants me dead, right?” She got up and stormed out of the house, she had a good thirty minutes until dawn.

 

      “Okay, what the hell just happened?” Angel asked himself. He’d done nothing and managed to get both of them so mad they had to leave. How did he do that and why didn’t he know how to fix it? How could he fix something he didn’t cause? He had to find Spike and now he had to find Buffy, soon. He quickly got dressed.

 

      He knew exactly where to go, he needed some of those little marshmallows. He tapped on the kitchen door lightly and was happy when it opened. “Spike!”

      “Hi Joyce, I was hoping you’d be up.”

      “What can I do for you?”

      “Letting me in before the sun burns me up would be a start.”

      “Oh, sorry, come in. Can I get you anything?”

      “Some of those little marshmallows if you got ‘em.”

      “Sure. If you don’t mind my asking, why are you here Spike?”

      “Cause that pillock of a Sire of mine finally put me in my place and I’m not gonna let him rip me apart over another one of his obsessions.”

      “Buffy?”

      “Yeah.”

      “How is Buffy?”

      “Missing her family and friends is what she is, being hunted by the new slayer in her spare time, dealing with her death and... I really don’t wanna talk about Buffy.”

 

      She knew where she wanted to go. She wanted to curl up in her bed and pretend nothing ever happened. She threw a quarter in the slot and dialed her phone number. “Hello?”

      “Mom?”

      “Buffy!”

      “Mom, can I come home?” She asked scared of the answer. There was just silence for a minute. “Mom?”

      “Yes Buffy, come on over, come in, come home.” Buffy hung up the phone and ran to Revello Drive. She climbed the tree to her room, it was exactly the same as she’d left it. She crawled into bed and fell asleep.

 

      He had only one idea on where to start. He got to the door and rang the bell. Joyce opened the door. “Angel.”

      “Joyce, I’d love to go a few rounds with you, but I’m looking for Spike and Buffy and I’m kinda pressed for time, since the sun is up in less than twenty minutes.”

      “Come in.” He entered the home that was once Buffy’s. “I seem to be the party location for vampires today.”

      “What?” He asked.

      “Joyce, do you have any more wheatiebix?” Spike walked out of the kitchen and froze when he met Angel’s eyes. “What are you doing here?”

      “Looking for you mainly, but also Buffy.”

      “Buffy called here a while ago, wondering if she could come home.” Joyce said. “I told her to come over.”

      “So you finally decided to talk to your daughter, how refreshing.”

      “Watch your mouth mate, this is Buffy’s mum and you shouldn’t talk to her like that.”

      “Is Buffy here?”

      “I haven’t seen her.” Joyce went upstairs.

      “Spike come home with me.”

      “No.”

      “Spike, let’s go.”

      “You heard me mate, we’re through.”

      “Where is this coming from? I don’t know why you’re mad at me.” Spike was silent. “Will...”

      “NO! You’re not gonna do that Angelus. You can’t do what you did to me and expect things to be the same between the three of us. It doesn’t work that way Sire o’ mine.”

      “Is that what you think? How could you? You’re my childe, my favored childe in fact. I just got you back I’m not going to lose you again.” Again, more silence. “We both have two names. You’re Spike but sometimes I can see William in there, like last night. Just cause I call you Spike doesn’t mean I don’t want you.” Spike sat down on the couch.

      “How can I compare to her?” Spike was staring absently at the floor.

      “What?” Angel sat beside him.

      “You in love with her. She took you away from me. I can’t compare to her.”

      “It’s not a contest.” Silence. “I may be in love with, my soul may be in love with her, but we have so much more than Buffy and I ever could.”

      “Huh?”

      “Look at me.” Spike did. “Buffy will never know how I was back then. The only memories she has of my unsouled self are horrible ones, you know that’s not the case. Every part of me that’s human is in love with her, but every part of me that’s not is in love with you. I didn’t pick you on a whim. I didn’t seduce you because I wanted a toy, I had one of those. I picked you because I loved you and I still do. The soul only let’s me see how much, and gives me the strength to tell  you.” Spike just started crying and fell against Angel. He wrapped his arms around his childe. “I don’t want you to feel you’re second. I don’t know how we’ll work it, but we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

 

      She woke slowly to a heartbeat. Buffy opened her eyes, “Mom. Oh Mom, I’m so sorry.”

      “It’s okay Buffy, I’m sorry too.” Her mother held her as she cried.

      “What did I do? I can’t do it anymore.”

      “Buffy, you don’t have a choice.” Her mother was right, she hated that. “Angel and Spike are downstairs. I think you should go talk to them.”

      “I can’t.”

      “Yes you can. You have to.”

      “Things are different now Mom. There’s this new Slayer and she hates me of course, and Giles is her Watcher and hates me. Xander and Willow seem okay, but scared to be with me. Up until today, Angel and Spike were the only people I could be with that didn’t hate me or want to kill me.”

      “What changed?”

      “I’m not sure anything did. I think it was already there, I just couldn’t see it because once again Buffy didn’t think about anyone but herself. And I royally screwed myself this time didn’t I?”

      “Buffy I won’t allow you to hide here. You go down and figure out what happened, or I’ll send them up.”

      “I’m not going down there.”

      “Fine.”

 

      “SPIKE! ANGEL! BUFFY’S UP HERE!” Angel stood up at the sound of Joyce’s voice. They both bolted up the stairs.

      “Buffy! I was worried about you.” Joyce slinked out and closed the door.

      “Were you Angel?”

      “Why would you think that Buffy?”

      “You love him more than me. It’s okay, maybe I was stupid not to see things changing. It wouldn’t be that last time that...” he grabbed her and kissed her deeply.

      “Why do you both think that?” He looked at both of his childer. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you that they love their children equally but differently?”

      “I’m an only child Angel. I don’t have any siblings.” Buffy said.

      “And I only had one sister that died when I was three.” Spike added.

      “Oh. Consider it said. Now I’ve already hashed this out with Spike, but why do you think that Buffy?”

      “Cause he’s your favorite and he knows you so much better than I do. You shared so much together, I can’t even begin to compare to the history you have. Plus he didn’t betray you, I did.”

      “We’re SO over that Buffy.” He said quickly.

      “Well maybe I’m not Angel. He said you were so different back then, but all I knew was anger and emptiness and it’s not fair. You loved him before the stupid soul, you didn’t even know me.”

      “Oh Buffy, there’s nothing we can do about that...”

 

      “Unless you’ve got a flux capacitor mate.” Spike quipped. Buffy giggled. “But then we’d change history and just my luck *I’d* get the bloody soul and that wouldn’t be fun. Course then I’d be the one to ‘deflower’ the gorgeous chit and I’d be your Sire love. Course then we wouldn’t have my gorgeous Sire. See that?”

      “You came full circle, I’m impressed. It doesn’t happen very often.”

      “Sod off.”

      “Are you always this cranky? How come I never noticed before? Was he always this way Angel? Honestly?”

      “I think so, usually right when he wakes up. The only way to guarantee a happy temperament with him is to fuck him into oblivion before he falls asleep from exhaustion.”

      “Can you really do that?”

      “Oh yeah, I’ve done it before. Haven’t I Spikey?”

      “SOD OFF.” There was a knock on the door.

      “Yes?”

      “Buffy? I just have to get to work, will you be staying here today?”

      “If it’s okay, I really don’t feel like burning up going back home.” Her mother smiled.

      “Okay, will you be hungry? I mean... are you... will you... um...”

      “Mom, don’t worry, we’re fine. We’re just gonna sleep.”

      “Okay. I’ll see you later.” Her mom left and she sat on the bed.

      “Wow, she left me in my room with two boys. I’m such a slut and in my mother’s house too.”

      “Don’t say stuff like that Buffy.”

      “Why not Angel?” She stood up and walked about her room. “She hasn’t touched a damn thing in here. Her little shrine to her daughter I guess.” She picked up her stuffed pig. “Mr. Gordo saw so much stuff didn’t he? Things no pig should see. Angel, remember when you...”

      “Buffy don’t.”

      “No I wasn’t even thinking that.”

      “What? Fill me in.” Spike asked.

      “It was just after he killed the teacher and he came over and pretended to be Angel, he said Jenny had given him back his soul. Then he left. It was unpleasant and we’re not gonna talk about it. What I was thinking about was actually right before you kidnapped him and tried to kill him to save Dru.” She walked over to Spike and decked him. “I’m still mad about that.”

      “What? That was ages ago.”

      “Fine, let’s talk about the Gem of Amara.”

      “No, let’s talk about kidnapping...” he said quickly but his Sire caught his eye, Buffy saw it.

      “Yeah Spike, let’s talk about this Gem and this asshole vampire who staked his would-be girlfriend. Then he went after the Slayer and made fun of her pain.”

      “I’m sorry about that, it was the demon.”

      “You can’t get away with that Spike, Angel can, but you can’t. You were mean. I can understand being mean to me, but to poor Harmony?”

      “Harmony? Didn’t you go to school with...”

      “Yes Angel, poor thing got it at Graduation with all the chaos of the big snake demon. But you’re ruining my rage.”

      “Oh, forgive me, carry on with your rage.”

      “Thanks.”

 

      Fuck this was not good to bring up the gem, why did she have to bring it up? He wondered if Angel was still mad about it. “But I have some rage of my own Buffy.”

      “Oh, then please, join in.” She said. Angel stood up and looked down at him.

      “I think it’s time for Spike to get the lesson he’s got coming.”

      “HEY!” He tried to stand up but Angel pushed him back onto the bed. “Fuck Angel... I thought we were over this.”

      “You hired someone to torture me.”

      “Cause I couldn’t do it myself, I couldn’t hurt you like that Angel.”

      “But you’d let me die by hot pokers?”

      “You poked me too.” Weak argument.

      “It’s my right to do what I want with you boy. Take your clothes off.”

 

      She wondered what was going on. It seemed she was always behind in their banter. “Angel? What’s going on?”

      “Just sit down and relax. My boy Will has a very important lesson to learn. Don’t you? You seem to have forgotten who you belong to, but I’m here to remind you.”

      “I know who I belong to Angel, I know, I remember.”

      “NO. You don’t. But you will, now strip.” Spike was shaking as he took his duster off and began to shed the rest of his clothing. Angel took off his silk shirt, leaving his delicious chest bare. She sat down in a chair to watch.

 

      He wondered if her weapon’s chest was still full. He stalked over as Spike shed the rest of his clothes and he found it. He winked at Buffy and opened it up. Perfect. Good old predictable Slayer with chains in the chest.

      “Fuck Angelus, this isn’t necessary.”

      “You’re not getting out of this. You’ve had this coming for over a century, certainly since you showed up in Sunnydale.”

      “And remember what I put up with at the mansion? What you did? I know who I belong to.” His childe stood up again, but Angel grabbed his shoulders and threw him on top of the bed and pounced on him. He took the chains and secured his arms above his head by stringing the chains through the headboard.

 

      He resisted. Of course he did. It was nature. He’d been on his own for a century, of course he’d resist. Of course he always did resist, that was half the fun. Angelus would never have wanted him if he just laid down like the other fledglings. That’s why they had remained fledglings and he had become a childe. Perhaps that was the main reason he’d been called to his Sire’s room. Angelus loved to dominate and William, for some sick reason, got off on being dominated. However the domination of the past two returns of his Sire’s evil-self had not been the same. He looked at Angel wide-eyed, waiting for more, but fighting it. Angel thrived on the fight. So did Spike, but in the end, he knew what would happen. He was a sick bastard who loved being dominated and he’d submit, of course he would, how could you not?

      The very presence of his Sire was demanding and sensual. The man exuded sex wherever he was, whatever he was doing. He was a seductive creature. William had always said Angelus could seduce the knickers off a priest and have him begging for a come within an hour. They’d put it to the test once and it had taken thirty-two minutes.

      So sure, he’d submit, he didn’t have a choice. He could see it vividly. Angel would tease him, suck him and fuck him without ever giving him release. Angel would stop him from coming and ask who he belonged to and he’d refuse to answer. Angel would pump him some more, suck him perhaps, stop him from coming and ask again. This would go on for hours or for seconds, depending on his need to be claimed. One thing he didn’t have was patience or will power where his Sire was concerned.

      He glanced over at Buffy as Angel chained him to her former bed. She was intent on watching. He’d keep an eye on her. She was about to have a show, which was just fine with him since he was very much an exhibitionist.

 

 

 

~El Fin~

 

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