SERIES : the Chronicles
Continuation
SEQUEL TO : the Buffy
& Angelus Chronicles
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel,
Angel/Spike, Spike/Buffy, Angel/Buffy/Spike
RATING : NC17
SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve
used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
NOTES & WARNINGS : SLASH
(m/m) and a little bloodplay
=====================================================================
He woke and slowly came
to. He glanced over his two childer, sleeping peacefully between him and the
fireplace. They were beautiful, he had good taste. For once in his unlife, he
felt okay to be what and who he was. He was Angel, reincarnate of Angelus the
Scourge of Europe, favored childe of Darla, supposed right-hand of the Master.
For the first time he was able to separate himself from his evil self. For one
hundred years, he’d felt guilty for what he had done. True, it had been his
hands, his body, but now he was able to see that HE wouldn’t have done those
things. Angel wouldn’t have hurt Buffy the way Angelus did. This opened the
age-old question, was Dr. Jekyll responsible for those crimes committed by Mr. Hyde?
He didn’t know, he
couldn’t know. He did know he sought redemption. It was a thing Spike couldn’t
understand, he was demon. True he was more human than other vampires, which is
one thing he would never admit, but he was a demon and he liked it. Correction,
Spike loved being a vampire. Spike couldn’t understand the intense need for
redemption, cause he himself did not desire it, nor did he care. Angel had
begun, but who was to say if his debt could ever be repaid. He had killed and
murdered so many people, viciously, with a song in his heart. He had gone to
Hell and was tortured and beaten and... he chose to block those things out of
his mind. It was a start. Helping people was a start, but why did he want
redemption?
Was there a Heaven?
Surely if there was a Hell, there was a Heaven. Isn’t that the way it worked?
He had never seen the Devil in Hell. Was this some fictitious character? The
Devil was just the Hyde of God was it not? The titles of the Devil and God were
just names for the same entity, or a number of them. The Powers That Be. Would
they ever grant him redemption? Would they ever say to him that his debt was
repaid? How could they? The only reason he even cared was because his soul was
forced on him. It wasn’t his choice, he didn’t do the noble thing. Of course
his demon side had stopped taking the pills willingly and given up control to
his soul, which was nice. Perhaps that was the first real step toward
redemption.
Redemption. It used to
be so important. It promised the hope of one day being with Buffy, but now he
was. Was that it? He was given permanent custody of his soul. Was that his
redemption? Had the Powers That Be known that he would get drugged and hurt
more people. Was that a test for his demon? Was that the real reason he was granted
his soul? Too many questions he’d never have answered. And even if he were to
ask the Oracles this, they wouldn’t answer him, except in rhyme or quote but
nothing concrete, and he didn’t feel like riddles. So he kept quiet and fought
the forces of evil and loved Buffy.
He loved Buffy so
completely. The soul in him loved her, was IN love with her. But the demon in
him loved Spike, was IN love with his William. Only in his dreams would he have
been able to be here with them both, but here he was. There was no doubt he had
achieved his redemption. It didn’t seem fair, but how could he be so
deliriously happy and not have paid his debts to humanity? He was not about
to...
“Stop that you poof.” Spike’s
voice pierced the silence of his reverie.
“What?”
“Brooding.” Spike knew
him too well. Angel stared at his childe and smiled, putting his hand up to his
cheek.
“How do you know I was
brooding?”
“Cause you get this
glazed over stoic look about you and it’s saddening. You wanna brood, you do it
elsewhere.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Boy am I glad I don’t
have a soul, I can’t imagine what it would be like. Whenever I think about the
bloody chip I just think about how much worse it could be.”
“Gee thanks.”
“Just don’t brood too
much. I don’t want it wearing off on the Slayer, she doesn’t need it.”
She smiled inside as she
listened to them, Spike and Angel. She loved them both so completely in so many
different ways. Angel was her first love, her all consuming, all encompassing
love of her life. He was her everything, the air she breathed, the light in the
dark, her Angel. Their love was immortal, comparing to no other love. That
would never change. But she was glad Angel could accept that she was in love
with him, but also with Spike. At first, perhaps, it had been platonic. She
could count on him, she could trust him. He promised to be there and he was. He
was safe, he was solid. He wasn’t ashamed of himself, and perhaps that was the
big difference between him and Angel. Angel was ashamed, he tried not to be,
especially now, but he was. The soul told him he wasn’t worthy and he believed
it. Spike was not ashamed, he loved being a vampire, or he did before the chip.
He was light-hearted while Angel was so serious.
She was never, nor would
she ever be, completely alone with Angel. Whenever they were together, they
were surrounded by the burden of Angelus, and the things they had done. They
were drenched in the betrayal on their parts. Buffy for loving Angelus, Angel
for leaving her and betraying his promise to love her forever. Not only that,
but they were surrounded in his guilt and the all the people he had killed.
They were all there. He tried not to let them be, she knew he tried to fight
it, but he couldn’t. But when she was with Spike, it was just him and her,
alone. He didn’t feel he didn’t deserve it, because he didn’t care if he did or
not.
Both of them together
were perfect. They balanced each other out and created her family, her home.
She was glad Angel didn’t seem to mind, did he? She wondered.
“Brooding doesn’t wear
off on someone William, it’s not like your bloody phrases.”
“Well, had someone not
gone and lost his native accent, someone would not be so prone to my bloody
phrases mate.” She giggled, she couldn’t help it.
“Someone’s awake.” Angel
said, tickling her stomach.
“STOP IT!” She burst out
laughing and both males pounced on her. They were all laughing. “STOP IT! IT
HURTS! STOP! PLEASE!”
“You say stop Slayer,
but you’re loving it too much.” Spike whispered as they stopped.
“Yes, but tickling is
only good in healthy doses. My dad used to chase me around the house screaming
like a monster. I’d squeal and run around until he caught me and then he’d
tickle me until I screamed ‘Uncle’ or until I peed my pants.”
“Well Slayer, I’ll chase
you around the house, but I’m planning on doing a little more than making you
pee.”
“I’m sure you’d love
that Spike.”
“You would too. Admit
it.” She loved how flirtatious he was. Angel was never so daring, never so
seductively playful. Spike made a game out of it.
“Maybe another day.”
He enjoyed listening to
his children chatting. Sometimes when they would be in another room talking,
Angel would sit outside the door and just listen.
“Buffy? Not to change
topic or anything, but what was wrong last night?”
“OH! Right, last night.”
She flipped up onto her feet and Spike sat up. Angel followed suit and watched
her walk toward the kitchen. He glanced over at Spike, who didn’t move. A few
minutes later Buffy came back with three mugs. “I don’t like these mugs. Ooo!
Maybe we should go to the mall and get special mugs made. We can have our names
painted on them with red paint, it could like dripping blood or something.”
“Buffy, last night.”
Angel insisted.
“Oh, right. Well, last
night helped me put some things into perspective.” She sat in front of the
fireplace, completely nude and seemingly unashamed. “So I went over to Xander
and Anya’s first. By the way, we’re invited to the Bronze tonight. Xander sort
of apologized and Anya said she doesn’t like the new slayer cause of the whole
ex-demon thing I think. Anyway, I went over to talk to Willow next and she said
it was a bad time and then the slayer comes out and tells me that I’m
unwelcome. But you know what? I’m sick of being the victim. She’s only the
slayer cause I died. It gives her NO right to come to MY town and boss me
around. I’m Buffy, one of the most famous and talented slayers the Council ever
saw and damn it I’m not gonna take it from someone who hasn’t even had a year
of practice.”
“Good for you Slayer.”
“This is MY town and if
she thinks she’s gonna threaten me she has another thing coming. We’re on the
same side and if she can’t accept that, she can jolly well leave. And if she
won’t leave on her own, I’ll make her leave.”
“Buffy?” She looked at
him. “As much as it’s nice to hear you’re not going to let her push your
buttons, perhaps you shouldn’t wage war on the slayer. The Council will not
take well to that and you don’t wanna fight their special team. I did once and
they were tough, and that was before automatic weapons and such.”
“I get that Angel, but
she’s not going to come in here and threaten me. I have an unlife to think
about here and she’s not gonna be the boss of me. I was never a cooperative
slayer and I’m sure as hell not gonna start now. She wants me gone, she’s gonna
have to work for it. I’m not going to let her push my buttons anymore. I’m not
gonna run. I made the choice, I am what I am and if you can’t accept it you can
go to Hell.” She froze and looked at them. “Well, not you guys, I was just on a
roll, sound convincing?”
“Very, love. So we going
to the Bronze tonight then?”
“Yes, if you want to. We
can do a couple sweeps in the cemeteries and then go. Then we’ll do a little
slaying on the way home. Sound good?”
“Whatever you want
love.”
“What I really want is
an all-expense paid shopping spree. I need new clothes.”
“Again?”
“Angel, we went like
months ago. Don’t you want me to be happy?” She flashed him those puppy dog eyes
and pouted.
“Stop that, you know I
can’t resist the puppy dog face Buffy, it’s not fair.”
“PLEASE?” She crawled
over to him. “I’ll do anything... anything.” She licked his ear and giggled.
“Just name it lover.”
“I’ll think about it,
lover.”
THAT EVENING
He was in his room
getting dressed. As if it took so long to get dressed in the same clothes he’d
worn for years. Black jeans, black t-shirt, red button up shirt and his duster,
with his boots. He was going out with Angel and the Slayer. This messy business
with a new slayer wigged him out. Cor what was happening to him? He was
starting to talk like her. Not that it was a bad thing, she did have her cute
qualities. There was only ever one Slayer, and it was Buffy. The others sucked,
they couldn’t fight, and they couldn’t kill him. Buffy was completely capable
of it. She could have the night at the school and she could have any day since.
She was good, and now with the vampire senses and strength, she was
indestructible, except for sunlight and holy water of course.
She was extraordinary.
There was no other word to describe her. She was simply extraordinary. His love
for Dru had been deep, in a fatherly way. He had to take care of her. He loved
her, but he wasn’t in love with her. He knew Buffy wasn’t IN love with him and
it hurt a little, that he was in love with her. He was glad that Angel didn’t
seem to mind, they hadn’t really talked about that specifically. Perhaps one
day they would, they should. His Sire had shared numerous times with his favored
childe, but Spike had never expected this much with Buffy. It was incredible,
being with the two people that he loved with ever fiber of his undead body.
He hated to admit it to
anybody, even to himself, but he was hopelessly, truly, madly, deeply in love
with his Sire and his Slayer. He was just grateful they didn’t demand that
admission of him. He threw his duster on and went downstairs where they were
waiting for him.
“Are you ever gonna wear
something different Spike? Do you even own other clothes?”
“No and yes. Does it
annoy you?”
“No.” She said sharply.
But he knew better.
“You lie. Doesn’t THAT
just eat away at your conscience? Slayer not only a demon, but a liar as well.
You’ll go straight to Hell for that one. No self-respecting demon lies, that’s
the deadly sin that never made it on the tablet.”
“Oh really?” She asked
as they started out into the night.
“Really, matter of fact,
they’ve been thinkin’ of making an amendment, you know, those religious types
like to keep with the times. It’ll say ‘those demons shalt not lie else they go
to Hell.’“
“That a fact Spike?”
“It is.”
“Then I’ll guess you’ll
be going straight to Hell with me then.” She had him there.
“There’s no where I’d
rather be if you’re not with me Slayer.”
“Then you’re dumber than
Angel always said you were.” She punched him and ran off in front of the two
vampires.
“HEY!” Spike took off
after her. Angel was glad she had someone who would play her childish games. He
forgot she was barely past twenty when he’d turned her and she needed that
light-heartedness as much as he did. Perhaps that’s why he stayed with Dru so
long, someone to take care of, to make him feel useful, and someone to play
with. Who knows? Perhaps he’d never know. They were out of his sight and he ran
ahead to catch up with his childer to find them on the ground wrestling.
“Now kids, how many
times do I have to tell you that the cemetery is NOT a jungle gym.”
Buffy hopped up. “And
the winner and STILL champion!” She exclaimed in victory.
“In your dreams Slayer!”
“I could take you any
day Spike.”
“You do love.”
“Yeah, that’s right, I
do, and don’t you forget it.”
“I don’t wanna.”
“Good.” She took Angel’s
hand and Spike took her other. “Now before we get there, I think we should
decide how much we’re going to tell my sort-of friends.”
“What?” Spike asked.
“What she means, Spike,
is are we gonna tell them that not only is she a vampire fucking her sire, but
that she’s also fucking his favored childe?”
“Now now, such a dirty
mouth Peaches... kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“Never, she’s dead.” The
three froze. He couldn’t believe he had said something so blasé.
She’d never heard him
making jokes so much, especially given the fact that he’d killed her. She
leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “It’s okay Angel, we’re all family.”
“I know it’s just...”
“I know and it’s okay.
Everything doesn’t have to be so serious all the time. Especially now, no more
moping.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna have
a little less brooding and little more fun around here Peaches, you’ll see.” He
leaned over and kissed his Sire’s cheek, happy to be able to do it again.
Although Angelus had never been one for public displays of affection, shagging
in an ally was one thing, but kissing in a cemetery was quite another. He was
never one to show his affections for fear of someone seeing him. Other master
vampires knew that William was a favored childe of Angelus’ and it would be an
obvious way to get to Angelus, to get anything from him. If they saw him
supposedly forcing his childe, it was one thing, but showing affections toward
said childe would be detrimental at best, lethal at worst. Plus Angelus had
never been an outwardly affectionate man. He’d show his love in a private room,
or in his house, but never outside those protective walls. When Angel shrunk
off the kiss, Spike knew things hadn’t really changed. He was sure if Angel
could blush, he would have. Spike just chuckled to himself. “The more things
change, the more they stay the same Angelus.”
He knew exactly what
Spike was talking about. Of course he did. “Will?” He stopped and dropped
Buffy’s hand to look at his William, his favored childe.
“Yes?”
“Do you think I don’t
think about the past? Do you think that a day goes by when I don’t remember all
we shared? When I don’t remember how much I love you? Because if you think
that, you ARE wrong.” He watched as tears welled up in Spike’s eyes and for
those few moments, cupping his childe’s face, he was able to see his William.
It was no secret that Angel had changed, but so did William. Angel’s departure
from his life had changed him, made him tougher, angrier, but for a moment, he
could see the loving adoring childe he’d left a hundred years ago. “I may be a
different person than I used to be, but that doesn’t change our bond. We both
did, but our love couldn’t.”
He couldn’t believe it.
He knew Angel had changed, he wasn’t his Sire, exactly, he was close, closer
than the last reincarnation of Angelus had been. But the moment Angel spoke, it
was like he truly had HIS Sire back. The same vampire that brought him to the
darkness, that became his light all those years ago. “No. It couldn’t Sire.”
She had let them kind of
talk, separately from her. She knew they had a history, a connection she would
never share with Angel. She could never share with Angel. She wanted them to
have their moment, but as if on cue, “Uh guys? Hate to spoil the mood, but
demon!” She pointed as they turned around to face her. “Sorry, but it’s another
Sunnydale sewer conversation.” She ran towards the demon and landed a flying
sidekick right in its gut. It flew back against a tombstone and landed on its
ass.
“GO SLAYER!” Spike
cheered on as she threw a couple punches as it struggles to get up.
He watched as she
fought, Angel did too. She’d ask for help if she needed it, but with the
vampire senses and strength, mixed with the Slayer abilities, she truly was a
force to be reckoned with. The demon kicked her hard and she landed on her
stomach. “Need help?” Spike offered.
She put her arms out and
flipped up facing them in full game-face. “I’m good,” she shrugged. She turned
to face her opponent for the final face off.
“I love it when she does
that Peaches. She’s a gorgeous vamp, you have to admit it.” He looked at his
Sire, staring at him blankly. “Oh come on! You can’t tell me you never thought
about what she’d look like. You can’t tell me that she isn’t foxier now than
she ever was.” Angel just stared at him and he went back to watching the fight.
She landed a kick in the things face and it fell to the ground. She raced over
and broke it’s neck. He approached her clapping. “Nice work love.”
She turned around and
took a bow. “And for the encore, the suite of the newly risen undead.” She
whipped a stake out of her pocket and threw it two feet behind Angel and the
vampire turned to dust.
“I’m impressed.” Spike
said.
“Why Spike, you’re
paying me a compliment and we’re not naked? That’s gotta be a first, perhaps
you’re ill.” She touched his forehead. “Nope, no fever.” She started examining
his head.
“Bloody hell pet, what
ARE you doing?”
“Looking for other
little brainwashy chippies.” Angel laughed behind them. “You laugh now Angel,
but tonight when he’s stalking us, you’ll rethink this moment and wish you
helped me look.” He laughed again.
“Come on, let’s go.”
“So what was that about
sewer conversations Slayer?”
“Oh, right, Mr.
Brilliant over there decided he’d break up with me a couple days before the
Prom while patrolling for vampires in the sewers.”
“WANKER!” Spike kicked
Angel’s butt.
“HEY! That was
completely not my fault, brain washy chippie, remember?” It was nice to hear
his sire laughing and joking. Things were actually looking up for a change,
which usually meant something horrible was around the corner.
“Now now, remember what
we said about lying before Angel. It’s not nice and as Spike informs us, it’s
also a deadly sin.”
“Which works out since
I’ve died. Now let’s talk about the undeadly sins, then I’ll listen. And I’ve
already been to Hell, so it’s not as much of a threat, I mean, don’t get wrong,
I’m not dying to go back...”
“Funny.” The Slayer
slugged him and wrapped her arm around his waist, his taking her. She turned
back and extended her hand to Spike. He caught up with them and she wrapped her
other arm around his waist, he did likewise.
It was nice being
between them. They made her feel safe, and loved and whole. “Well, in answer to
my own question earlier, I’m just gonna tell them. If they can’t accept me as I
am, then it’s done. I’ll be sad, I’ll miss them, but they should just take me
as I am, take me as I am. What you see is what you get.”
“That’s a very good
attitude to carry pet. That’s always been my motto. That’s what I told Dru,
course she kicked me to the curb... so never mind.”
“I’m sure she still
loves you Spike, but maybe a hundred years is a bit too long to be with
someone. Especially since you were with her ALL the time.” She tried to be
reassuring.
“Then you have a hundred
years to find yourself a new mate.”
“You know what I mean...
you do know what I mean, don’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter,
we’re here. Ready?”
“It’s now or never.” The
entered the Bronze. It was loud. She was getting better at the whole heartbeat
thing, but it was tough. “Okay, it’s really loud in here.”
“Don’t worry, as soon as
the music picks up, you’ll be fine, soon you won’t even hear them.” Angel
whispered in her ear.
“You should really start
SOME training with her Peaches, you can’t NOT teach her just cause you’re not
teaching her the hunt. There are other things she should learn.”
“You’re right.” Angel
mumbled. She noticed Spike’s smile. “There they are.” Angel pointed toward
three tables pushed together. “Here we go.” The three approached the table, she
was nervous, she held their hands tightly.
“Hi Buffy!” Anya said
cheerfully. “We saved you seats! Willow and Tara are running a little late,
they had a last minute thing I guess... I don’t know.”
“Hi Buffster.” Xander
went over and hugged Buffy. “I missed you.” He whispered.
“Me too.”
“Well, sit, take a load
off, order a drink, I mean... a soda or... never mind.”
“It’s okay Xander, I’m
not thirsty. I had some water before I left the house.”
“So you’re all at the
mansion?” He asked.
“Yep. Stop by some time
if you like, you know if you’re... if you want to.”
“I’d like that Buffy.”
She was practically beaming. “So, you said something about moving to LA?”
“Yeah, just an idea...
we’re not sure.”
“Hey Xand!” Buffy turned
around to face her best friend and Tara. “Sorry we’re late, we had a last minute
binding spell.”
“Binding spell?” Buffy
asked. “For what?”
“A demon, we couldn’t
figure out how to kill it, so we bound it.”
“Willow, I don’t wanna
pry, but binding spells only last just so long.”
“Oh, that’s what Cass
said, but we needed to buy some time so they can check with the Council.”
Willow turned to Buffy and made eye contact for the first time in what seemed
like weeks. “Hi Buffy.”
“Hi Willow. How are
you?”
“Okay I think.”
“Willow, I’m gonna go
get a soda, you want?” Tara asked.
“Sure, coke is fine I
guess.”
“Why don’t I come with
you?” Anya said as she hopped up and the two left.
He didn’t want to leave
her and Spike felt the same way. Their arms had not left her waist, even when
they sat and they held each other’s arms behind her. She was theirs and she
would not be hurt again. Still, perhaps she wanted time with her friends alone.
She must. She looked at them and smiled sweetly, giving a subtle hint.
“Hey Spike, why don’t we
go scope the place for demons and vampires, a quick sweep and maybe a drink.”
“Why Sire, the day you
offer me a drink...”
“Not that kind you
idiot, a beer or something.”
“You would never drink a
beer, that pastime left the day you left Irish soil you wanker. You’ll have some
wussy nancy boy drink and you know it.” They each kissed her on the cheek and
left her there. “I didn’t wanna leave her there.”
“Neither did I Will, but
she needs time with them. To explain, to talk, to just be.”
“I know, but if they say
anything to her Angelus, I swear chip or no chip, their dead. She doesn’t need
them takin’ the bloody high ground.”
“I know that, I do, but
she needs to deal with them on her own.”
“So Buffy, how are you?”
Willow asked her.
“I’m okay. Some days are
harder than others, some nights are too, but overall I think I’m okay. Angel
and Spike have been really great, and are actually getting along.”
“Speaking of, what’s
going on with them. They both seem almost possessive of you.”
“Okay, if we’re going to
try this, I can’t hide what I am, or who I am. If you can’t accept me for who I
am then it just won’t work. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Spike and
Angel and I are together.”
“Together?” Willow
asked.
“TOGETHER!” Xander
repeated. “Define together Buff? Like living together?”
“Sort of, but more like
together in a more private way.”
“You’re sleeping with
*both* of them?” Willow asked in amazement, so it seemed.
“Yes. I’m... it’s
complicated. Spike and I just recently started to discover our feelings for
each other. I mean, we were friends, good friends, he’s the one who saved me
and helped me after Angel left after the rape. We just became really close
friends and lately, I can talk to him easier than I can with Angel sometimes.
Spike isn’t afraid or ashamed of what he is and he’ll answer my questions
truthfully. Angel tries to sugarcoat things sometimes and still blames himself
for most of what happened to me since I was born. Since I turned, they’ve both
been great, and it wasn’t until last week that anything remotely sexual
happened between Spike and I and since? It’s been wonderful.”
“Wow.” Willow said.
“So you have sex with
Spike and then you’ll have sex with Angel?”
“Or sometimes, we’ll all
have sex together.”
“The three of you?”
Xander was trying to clarify, or picture, Buffy wasn’t sure which.
“Yes.”
“How does that work
exactly?”
“Want me to draw a
picture Xander? Use your imagination.”
“I’m not sure I want
to.”
“Well... I just wanted
that out in the open. We were trying to decide if we should tell you, but I
want things to be open now, not like before. I admit there were failures on my
part, huge gigantic failures that I’m sorry for. I lied and I’m not going to
make excuses anymore. I did disrespect myself and my station and perhaps it was
selfish of me to do what I did with Angel, but... I made the decision and I
have to deal with the consequences and if that’s losing our friendship, then I
brought it on myself and I’ll deal.”
“Buffy, for me it’s not
the fact that you’re a vampire, we never had problems with Angel until he went
evil, it’s the fact that you chose it. You didn’t think about it, or look into
it or talk about it, you just did it. I don’t understand why you felt it was
your only option. Can you explain it?”
“I’d like to, just not
here, let’s go somewhere.” She suggested to Willow.
“Okay.” The three got
up. “I’ll go tell Anya, you tell Tara and you tell your two pet vampires.”
They were sitting at the
bar when the three got up from the table and Buffy came over. “Hey, we’re going
somewhere else to talk. I’ll be home before sun up, if you two wanna patrol,
I’ll be along.”
“Buffy...”
“Slayer...”
“I’ll be fine. I wrecked
this, I wanna fix it, without any help. If this is going to be patched up, you
guys can’t be involved in it, cause then it’ll be based on something other than
me and them and it wouldn’t work.”
“You’re right. We’ll see
you back home.”
“Don’t have too much fun
without me.” She walked away, leaving them sitting at the bar.
“What do we do now
Angelus?”
“Kick some demon ass?”
“Good, let’s go.”
“We can go back to my
place.” Xander said. They cut through the cemetery. “Ever notice how anywhere you wanna go in town you
always walk through here?”
“I noticed that too. I
think it’s a conspiracy of the Hellmouth.” Willow said matter-of-factly.
“Or it could just be the
fact that we’ve got like twenty cemeteries in town, you’re always walking
through one.” Buffy added. “I mean there are just too many dead people here.”
“That’s true. I mean,
not that there are TOO many... I mean... present company excluded... never
mind.”
“It’s okay Willow, I get
it.”
“Good.” They were
walking when she sensed a vampire. Buffy stopped walking. “Buffy?”
She whipped a stake out
of her pocket and closed her eyes. She took two steps backward and slammed her
right hand out toward her back. The vampire exploded within seconds. “Okay,
sorry, you were saying?”
“How did you do that?”
“Vampire-Slayer senses
and strength do wonders for slaying. I’ve been training with Angel a little,
and patrolling. He’s helping me deal with the new stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Like smells and vampire
vision, it’s so much more intense, and sharper too. It’s great.”
“That’s great Buffy.”
They got to Xander’s apartment and walked in. “Want something to drink?” He
asked.
“I’d love some water if
you’ve got it.”
“Do I have a sink?”
Xander carried in two sodas and a water for Buffy. “So...” they were all
sitting.
“I’ll just talk and feel
free to interrupt me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, first off, when
Angel lost his soul it was... I can’t even explain it. It was horrible, a
nightmare, it crushed me. He stalked Drusilla and made her crazy, he wanted to
break me like that. He wanted to control me I guess, at first, and I just
wanted someone to tell me what to do, someone to take the loneliness away. I
felt so empty inside. The first night was in the Bronze during that storm I
told you about. I was patrolling and he followed me in and forced me to dance
with him. He was so tender, it was strange. We kinda had that love-hate thing
and I was wrong not to say anything. In a way he sorta did accomplish what he
wanted, he wanted to turn me, to change me and he did. I think he was trying to
get me away from you. After a while it was like I needed him, like a drug. I
got so confused, I thought I loved him and I did. I still do. Had it not been
for him, I wouldn’t have had Angel, he’d have been dead. All the things Angelus
did make Angel who he is now. Angelus is part of Angel, he always will be. I
handled things all wrong, but how do you go about handling something like that?
Maybe I didn’t tell you cause I knew how wrong it was.
Anyway, he got his Soul
back right before I sent him to Hell. I was ready to send him to Hell. A few
days before he said he was going to turn me and I walked away. I was ready to
send him, I understood the difference between Angel and him. Then Angel came
back and I knew how you’d feel, I didn’t know how to explain that he was back
to you cause I didn’t know how to deal with it myself. Then he left. When I
went to visit Angel that one time, and he was Angelus, I was still attracted to
him. After he raped me, I don’t remember much, it’s like I was in a fog and I
knew things were happening, but I couldn’t stop them. I broke. I saw Angel when
we were making love, I couldn’t see who is was. Then I’d realize Angel was gone
and that he wasn’t coming back.
I don’t think I was ever
really the same after that. Angel left again and I tried so hard to get well, but
I just knew things would never be good again. I tried but I was dying inside
from what I did, what I became, what I would never have... it was my own Hell.
I started looking into
methods of being with Angel. It became a long search, the only thing that got
me through. When I found that, it was the only choice. The time Spike found me
in the mansion wasn’t the only time I attempted killing myself.”
“What?” Willow asked.
“I took a bunch of pills
one time but couldn’t go through with it and threw them up. A few times during
fights, I’d purposefully let a vampire bite me, but I could never do it. I knew
I’d disappoint too many people, but then I thought I shouldn’t be living for
someone else. That book was my salvation and I just did it. I needed it. I think
maybe in some sick way, this was the only way it could have ended with Angel. A
vampire and a slayer... I don’t know. Then Spike just happened and I love them
both, differently, but I do. And I’m so sorry.”
They had just killed two
vampires and were walking toward the road to the mansion when they both froze.
Something was in the bushes. Spike looked at his Sire and they split, each on
either side of the bush, when a girl jumped out from it in fighting stance. She
threw a punch at his childe and whipped out a stake. “Cassandra I take it.”
Angel said.
“Yeah, who the hell are
you?”
“I’m...”
“NO! Don’t tell me.
You’re the Scourge of Europe. I recognize you from the drawings. Must have been
in the section of the ‘guys to kill before dating’ section of the handbook.
Apparently the dead one didn’t read that part.”
“Look, you don’t get
it.”
“Oh please Angelus... I
don’t buy this soul shit, I’m here to do a job, to keep the Hellmouth safe and
if I recall you’ve tried numerous times to take us all there, so forgive me if
I don’t turn my back.” Angel took a step closer but she reached out and grabbed
Spike by the throat holding the stake to his heart. “Come any closer and you’re
taking little William home in a dustpan.”
“Let him go.”
“You’re a known murderous
vampire so I’m thinking not.”
“Look, you don’t have to
like me, but we’re on the same side here. So is Sp... William.”
“Right, except for that
fact that he doesn’t have a soul, isn’t that how the story goes? What was it?
Yes, he’s got a chip in his head that stops him from hurting people, so I guess
he won’t be putting up a fight when I rip his heart out.”
“I’m warning you, let
him go.” He could tell his Sire was pissed, he was pretty mad too. ‘Angelus, do
something.’ His eyes pleaded with his Sire.
“Or what? What are you
gonna do? Kill me? Carry another death on your bloody hands?”
“Well you’re in luck
cause my hands are nice and clean.” Buffy walked up from behind and the slayer
turned around to face her. Angel rushed her and grabbed her neck, she released
her grip on Spike and he let her go.
“Isn’t it the little
demon girl. You make me sick. You were a legend, now you’re a joke.”
“Yeah well I’m twice the
slayer you will ever be little girl.”
Spike grasped at Angel
and held on tight to his Sire. He had missed the comfort zone of his Sire’s
arms. They watched the two girls circle each other. “Look Cass, I’m not here to
fight you. We’re on the same side, I know it’s hard to accept, but we are.”
“No way am I falling for
that. Seems to me present company included, vampires with souls have been known
to lose said souls and I’m not taking that chance. Besides, that’s not what
they want.”
“They?” The girl fell
silent. “Gotcha. Who sent you? The Council? To kill me?”
“I think she knows too
much about us to have coincidentally come here Buffy, she’s probably here for
all three of us.” Angel stated.
“Right cause the Council
never liked you, did they? And of course Spike took out two slayers.” Spike
relaxed a little and Angel let him go. He watched Buffy advance on the girl
rapidly. “Now hear this, I’m Buffy the Vampire Slayer and you’re on my turf.
Undead or not Sunnydale is MY town and you don’t come here and threaten me in
MY town. You wanna guard the Hellmouth that’s all well and good, but you stay the
hell away from myself, Angel and Spike or you’ll find yourself in a
considerable amount of pain.” Buffy had her pinned against a crypt door and was
right in her face. “And believe me, when I say, that I may be a vampire now,
but I was a slayer just like you and I remember EXACTLY what hurt and how much.
And given that fact that I’m a vampire, granted one with a soul, I have no
qualms about inflicting a little pain if warranted. Are we clear?” The girl
shook her head violently and Buffy let her go. She ran as fast as she could
away. “That was fun. Let’s go home and fuck.” The three ran home faster than
the girl had.
~El Fin~
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