Rocking the Night

 

SERIES : the Chronicles Continuation

SEQUEL TO : the Buffy & Angelus Chronicles

PAIRING : Buffy/Angel, Angel/Spike, Spike/Buffy, Angel/Buffy/Spike

RATING : NC17

SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.

NOTES & WARNINGS : SLASH (m/m) and a little bloodplay

 

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      She walked ever so carefully back to the apartment. She swayed as she walked and the tiny child in her arms slowly fell asleep. “Wonder where your Mommy is little one.” She was unsure if it was girl or a boy, but the child didn’t look much older than six months, certainly not a year. She descended the stairs and curled up with the child on the couch.

 

THE NEXT DAY (LATE MORNING)

 

**********

      “What now?”

      “Quiet William, be still.” He looked at the fledgling next to him. His childe. He’d spent the past two nights with the boy, making up for the first two solitary weeks. He had to allow the fledglings at the boy so they knew he was just like them, and had risen above them else William would not be accepted as childer.

His boy was not patient; he sat fidgeting restlessly waiting. “Be still.” He growled as the door swung open.

 

      He tried, honest he did, but he couldn’t stand the waiting. His sire was patient and skilled and he was not yet. They were waiting for the nuns to come back out of the house. The door opened and the two exited, one carried a package. He inhaled deep; there was something about that package. What was it? “Sire?”

      “Yes William.”

      “What do they have?”

      “We shall have t’see.” His sire stood up slowly and followed the women down the deserted street. “Come on boy, keep up, ‘tis yer first lesson of many.”

**********

 

      He opened his eyes slowly to find himself pulled against his sire’s firm body. Buffy wasn’t in the bed, he couldn’t smell her, couldn’t feel her and for once it was nice just being with Angel.

He thought over what Angel had said and it scared him. The thought of Angelus’ return, if it would be as before terrified him beyond words. He started getting reoriented and smelled something vaguely familiar. Where had he smelled that before? It was then he heard the muffled cries of a baby and he remembered another time with a child.

 

**********

      “Evenin’ sisters.” He said as the two women stopped and turned to face him.

      “Sir.” One replied and almost immediately the slightest hint of fear swept over the desolate street.

      “I ask m’self what two women such as yerselves are doin’ this late at night. Shouldn’t ye be prayin’ to yer Lord?” He asked drawing closer. William followed, modeling his steps. He heard the cries of a child, an infant. The package then wiggled a bit and the Sister began swaying.

      “Tis the Lord’s work we’re doin’, what about yourself Sir? We don’t want trouble.”

      “I don’t wanna give trouble.” He said drawing even closer. He motioned Will to follow and he did. His sire glanced at him as his disguise melted away and he looked back at the women. “I *am* trouble.” He said.

      “Ahh...” Angelus lunged at the most vocal of the two while the other ran with the infant in hand. “What are you?” She whispered as Angelus knocked her to the ground.

      “I am the Devil! God is dead.” His sire looked at him. “Tis a present fer ye William. Consider it God’s will. I shall return with desert.” With that his sire disappeared and he dropped to him knees.

      “Please... have mercy...”

      “Mercy is somethin’ I don’t have.” William said as he ripped her dress to bare her neck to him. He sang his fangs into her skin and drank her blood. It was rich, full of fear, it was delicious.

      “Enough Will.” Angelus said returning to his side. William sat up, leaving the woman’s body behind, in the last throws of death. Suddenly his sire’s hand crashed upon his face. “Lesson two Will: kill or play, take yer pick.” He just stared at the older vampire, until Angelus growled and passed him the infant. “Hold this.” He reached down and snapped the woman’s neck. “See? Finish it.”

**********

 

      He weaseled out of his sire’s arms, hoping Angel would not wake up. He threw his jeans on and walked out into the kitchen where Buffy was sitting, with a child. “What the bloody hell is this Slayer?”

      “Shh, she just went back to sleep.” He looked down at the table full of pink shoes and clothes, diapers and bottles. “Did you know that there are stores that deliver things? I just called up and told them what I needed and two hours later, I get two boxes by courier. Cool huh? And by the way, you look way sexy with those jeans on Spike.”

      “Slayer?”

 

      Spike was gone, he knew it first thing when he woke up. The second thing he noticed was a smell, the smell of innocence. A scent he knew well.

 

**********

      “Do ye smell it Will?”

      “What?” He held the infant to the boy’s nose.

      “Innocence Will, pure cleanliness. Born into this world not one year ago and her mother gives her to the Lord.”

      “What’ll we do Sire?”

**********

 

      He remembered that blood bath all too well. It was one of the worst things he’d done, worse than Drusilla. He couldn’t admit it to Buffy, not this, not ever. He was glad he didn’t have to look at himself in the mirror with the memory of that night. He stood up and threw on a pair of boxers. The sight that greeted him was of Buffy showing small baby clothes to Spike.

      “Um Buffy? Did I miss something about nine months ago?”

      “Somewhere I’m sure. Morning.”

      “Faith left I take it?” He kissed her forehead softly.

      “Yep.”

      “Slayer found a baby in a garbage can Peaches.”

      “Buffy, whose is it?”

      “*It’s* a girl and *her* name is... I don’t know... but *she’s* a girl. And she’s mine.” Buffy stood up and picked the child up from the child seat and left the room. He just stared at Spike.

      “Don’t ask me Peaches, she’s *your* childe, I’m just an innocent party.”

      “You were never innocent Spike.”

      “Sure I was, when I was five.”

      “You were a brat even then, I’m sure.”

      “Look at this Peaches, look at these things.” Spike picked up a small diaper. “Can you imagine how many women would’ve had babies had we had these? They’da been poppin’ out like candy.”

      “They did anyway Spike, how do you think we got you?”

      “HEY!” He smiled at his childe and walked out to find Buffy playing with the girl on his bed.

      “She can roll over! Check this out!”

      “Buffy...”

      “Angel, you had a sister, what was her name?”

      “Kathy, but Bu-”

      “Katerina it is. How do you like that baby girl? Katerina Jennifer Summers.”

      “Buffy, what makes you think this baby is yours?” He sat on the bed and watched the baby look around bright-eyed.

      “Because I found her, she doesn’t have a home, so I’m giving her one. No big.”

      “No big? NO BIG? Buffy, this is a very big. This is a baby, who’s going to grow up, go to school, to college, date, get married, have children... it’s a VERY VERY big.”

      “So? Angel, she has no parents; she would’ve died had I not been there.”

      “Perhaps that was meant to be Buffy.”

      “How dare you talk to ME about what was meant to be! Maybe I was meant to be there to get Katerina.”

      “Buffy, I hate to break it to you, but you can’t raise a child.”

 

      He leaned against the wall and watched the child as Buffy and Angel talked. She was a cute little girl.

      “Why can’t I? I’m a woman, I’ve got motherly instincts.”

      “Cause you look like a woman but you’re not one Buffy.” Her eyes filled with tears immediately. “God Buffy, I’m sorry, it’s just that vampires don’t raise babies. I thought you said you were okay with that.”

      “I was. I thought I was, but when I saw her lying there all helpless and crying? I carried her home and she slept on my stomach, and I could hear her little heartbeat, she needs me. Please don’t take her away from me Angel.”

      “You can’t raise a child Buffy. You can’t take her to the park. You can’t walk her to school or pick her up.”

      “So we find a nanny or have Cordelia do those things.”

      “And what happens when she sees all her friend’s parents getting gray hair and growing older, and eating food, and you’re not? We can’t keep a baby here Buffy. Demons come here all the time, we’re constantly fighting some evil force and that’s no place for a baby.”

      “Don’t you want a child to call your own Angel?”

      “I have them. Six in fact.”

      “Don’t.”

      “Don’t what Buffy? Don’t treat you like a-”

      “Say it now and I’ll never forgive you Angel, and never’s a long time, you should know.” She picked up the child and went upstairs quickly.

      “What do I do Spike?”

      “I don’t know Sire, I just don’t know.”

      “You think I’m wrong?”

      “Not necessarily, but she did give up quite a lot. It wasn’t stolen from her Angel, she gave it up willingly; she made a choice. She’s bound to have regrets.”

      “She said she’d thought about it.”

      “Could she ever *really* know what she was giving up without tasting it?”

      “Why did I let her do this Spike? Why couldn’t I have been stronger?”

      “You’re the strongest I’ve ever known but even Hercules had a weakness.”

      “I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

      “Don’t do that Angel, there’s nothing you can about it now.”

      “I *have* to call the police about this. Someone could be looking for that baby.” He watched as Angel got dressed and went upstairs.

 

AN HOUR LATER

 

      The small child had fallen asleep again, babies sure slept a lot during the day. She was curled around the infant and drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of Katerina’s heartbeat, the best sound in the world.

 

      “Angel? Jenna is here.” Cordelia announced.

      He regretted having to call her. Jenna had replaced Kate as the detective of special cases in the LAPD. He couldn’t help but feel guilty any time she stopped in. He’d killed Kate the last time his soul was gone. Jenna was a friend of Kate’s and knew all about the darker world, having experienced it herself. Jenna had gone undercover to catch a drug dealer, and found Angel dusting said drug dealer. It had taken time for her to understand the world, the *real* world, but she did now. She was his friend.

Angel walked out of the office, Jenna was waiting. “Hey Jenna, come into my office.”

“Sure Angel, what’s up?”

He closed the door behind him. “First I wanted to tell you I’m back on town for good now, my business that took me away is with me. Oh and I also saw Faith.”

“Faith? Yeah, I heard she got out.”

“She did, good behavior I guess. She left town, I doubt we’ll hear from her again.”

“Good, last thing I need is another hunt for some super girl.” Angel sat on his desk. “So why did you call me?”

“Suppose a person were to find a baby, an infant, that had been abandoned. What would happen?”

“The child is taken into custody and placed in a foster home or orphanage until we can locate the parents or find a couple to adopt. Why?”

“A friend of mine found a baby.”

“Where?”

“At the train station in a garbage can.”

“Chances are the parents won’t be back. I’ll call social services and they’ll come get her. In the meantime we’ll check all hospital records and things of that sort.”

“When will they come for her?”

“Soon I guess, tonight perhaps, tomorrow at the latest. They get really busy.”

“I need to know when cause I think my friend might give them some trouble.”

“This friend have a name?”

 

Cordelia had told him some chit was talking with Angel before leaving for her lunch break. He skipped knocking and walked in. “Spike, what do you want?”

“Ooo, who is this Angel and where has he been all my life?” The girl asked.

“He’s been undead. This is my childe, Spike this is Jenna.”

“The cop lady? What’s she doin’ here?”

“I called her about the baby.”

“Damn Sire, Slayer’s gonna freak.”

“I know, that’s why you’re gonna get her out of the apartment when they come for her.”

 

She left the baby sleeping on the bed surrounded by pillows quickly. She’d left the formula up there earlier and would need to make another bottle. She heard Spike saying she was gonna freak. ‘Come for who?’ Buffy wondered.

“I’ll baby-sit while you two patrol.”

“Do you know how angry she’s gonna be Angel? Have you thought this plan through?” Spike asked.

“This is the way it has to be Spike, vampires don’t raise babies. We never have, we’re not going to start now. We can’t.”

“Why not Peaches?”

“Cause it’s not the way the world works. You know that Spike. Buffy does too.”

“This is gonna crush her.”

“Who’s Buffy?” A girl’s voice asked. Buffy didn’t recognize it. “Your friend?”

“Yes.”

‘Friend? FRIEND?’ A friend was a casual acquaintance. A friend was someone to talk to and to have coffee with. A friend was NOT someone you make love to, or someone you sire, or someone you plan on spending the rest of eternity with. That’s what he called her? A friend?

She didn’t need to hear anymore. She grabbed the formula and went to her daughter. The child was just starting to cry. She lifted the baby up. “It’s okay Kat, little one, Mommy’s not gonna let anyone take you away. Shh...” she rocked while feeding her daughter.

 

“Angel you do this behind her back and she may never forgive you. Is that a chance you are willing to take?” Spike posed a good question. Was it? Angel honestly wasn’t sure. But it was clearly in everyone’s best interests, especially the child’s, and that’s what mattered most. To think otherwise would be selfish. Sure he’d thought of children, *real* children with heartbeats. But he’d thrown the chance away by walking down an ally in a drunken stupor. He’d long since thrown out the possibility. But Buffy hadn’t. And therein lie the problem.

“So I’ll call you and let you know.” Jenna left and he met his childe’s insistent eyes.

“What?”

“Peaches, you HAVE to tell her. She’s attached to that baby whether you like it or not and this could ruin her.”

“She said she’d thought about it. She said she was okay with it.”

“Do you have any idea how long forever is Angel?”

“Of course I do.”

“She NEVER did. To her, forever was a word, not a concept, let alone an actual thing. Before, children was a word and now it’s something tangible. Hasn’t there ever been anything you wanted but couldn’t have?”

 

Angel just stared at him. True, it was a bad example. Of course the man had never wanted something he couldn’t have. He’d just taken whatever he wanted. Even when he couldn’t have the Slayer, he took her, made her a vampire. He’s never found something he couldn’t have or couldn’t take.

Spike didn’t want to think about what would happen with this child. Or with the future. He only knew this would destroy them, all of them. He destroyed his family before by making a deal with the Slayer. He wouldn’t stand around and let it be taken from him again. He couldn’t. The thought of losing Angel or Buffy frightened him worse than a stake, worse than any slayer or demon ever could.He

 

 

THAT EVENING

 

      “I just got the call.” Angel said. Spike didn’t move. “Spike? Please go get her out of the house.” Still, he didn’t move. He wouldn’t move. He didn’t care if his sire dusted him on the spot, he wouldn’t go without trying. For once in his unlife, he was *truly* happy and he wasn’t going to give that up by leaving with Buffy. “Spike, I’m not asking. I’m telling.”

      “I know that Peaches.”

      “So do it.” He remained seated reading the book. “Fine I’ll do it myself.”

 

      He walked into the room, Buffy was sitting playing with the infant and for a moment he could imagine that it *was* his child and she was his wife and he was normal. But such was not the case. “Hey Buffy.”

 

      “Hi.” She said, wondering what he would say.

      “Can you do an errand for me?”

      “Send Spike.”

      “He’s being a pain in the ass.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was going to lie to her.

      “Send Cordelia.”

      “I need a superpower person.”

      “Then you go. I’ll talk Spike out of his foul mood.”

      “I have to meet a potential client here.”

      “I can talk to them.”

      “But it’s ‘Angel Investigations’ and *I’m* Angel.” She looked up at him, their eyes met.

      “How can you sit there and lie to me like that Angel?”

      “What?”

      “How can you be in the same room with me and lie to me so easily? Couldn’t you show a little emotion? A little broodiness for the lies you’re spouting? A little regret?”

      “What are you talking about Buffy?”

      “When are the coming?”

      “Who?”

      “They aren’t going to take my baby. They aren’t gonna get Kat.”

 

      She knew and it was gonna be worse than he expected. He couldn’t bear to look in her eyes. “I’ve known you to be a lot of things Angel, but a liar was never one of them.” She picked the child up and left him there sitting.

      He stood up and followed her. “Where are you going?” She was throwing the baby supplies in a bag.

      “Somewhere where you’re not welcome.”

      “You can’t leave Buffy.”

      “The hell I can’t. Watch me.” She carried the baby seat and bag and headed for the door.

      “Buffy, please think about this. Maybe you can visit her.”

      “I don’t WANT to visit her Angel. I’m going to raise her.”

      “No you’re not.” He didn’t want to do it, but he feared now he would have to.

      She opened the door and he slammed it shut flashing his gold-flecked eyes at her. “I am leaving Angel. WE are leaving.”

      “Don’t make me do it Buffy.” He pleaded with her.

      “Don’t make you what Angel? Act like my sire? Cause I’m just a vampire, huh?” She opened the door again. “Let me go.”

      He held firmly on the door and allowed his mask to disappear. He looked at her through golden-yellow eyes. She put the baby seat and bag on the floor and for once, he saw the demon, *her* demon, her anger, her rage, HER demon, looking back at him. He was somewhat shocked and even more so when she threw the first punch.

 

      She just kept hitting him, punching him, scratching, hurting anything she could, any one close.

 

      He didn’t know when she stopped hitting to hurt, and when she started sobbing, but she soon slumped to the floor. She picked up the infant and held her close to her bosom, humming and rocking.

 

      The knock came from upstairs. She heard Angel’s voice and the girl’s, accompanied by a few others. She could smell them as they came down the stairs. She’d tried to leave, but he had stopped her, perhaps she’d stopped herself. She held her baby tighter as they got to the bottom of the steps and Angel approached her. She was vaguely aware of Spike sitting in the distance, watching.

 

      He’d seen this before, the vacant eyes, the humming and mindless rocking, it reminded him all too well of Dru when she’d get her visions. The moon would sometimes tell her secrets hours at a time and she would sit, rocking Miss. Edith in silence.

 

      “Buffy? It’s time.” She did nothing, didn’t move, didn’t speak, didn’t look at him. She just kept staring off into the distance. “Buffy?” He took one of her hands and lifted it off the baby.

      “Don’t do it.” She barely whispered. “I can be a good mother. Don’t take my baby.”

      “It’s not yours Buffy. The baby belongs to someone else.” She looked into his eyes and he shuddered at their emptiness.

      “No, Kat is mine. She loves me. Please don’t take my baby from me Angel.” He moved her other hand and lifted the sleeping infant. “Please Angel... please don’t... I need her.” She grabbed his leg as he turned to hand the baby to Jenna.

 

      Her child was taken from her. Angel took her and gave her to the lady. She didn’t need to say goodbye, she’d said it already. The woman left followed by the two police officers. She felt emptier inside than she’d ever felt. She slowly let go of Angel’s leg and just sat, rocking the night away.

 

 

 

~El Fin~

 

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