SERIES : the
Buffy & Angelus Chronicles
PAIRING : Buffy/Angelus,
Buffy/Angel (at end)
RATING : NC17
SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve
used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters. Nor do I own “Iris” (GooGoo Dolls).
NOTES & WARNINGS : Entire
series has : rape, torture, character deaths & pain (these things are not
in every part).
=====================================================================
"You walk a fine line Angel, I don't envy you." Wesley
always was a prick.
"Hey guys? Can you
untie me? Please!" They had left; he couldn't smell them and he could no
longer hear them. "DAMN! It's been so long!" He surveyed his
surroundings. The soul made him sick with his perfect little apartment. After
he killed the souls friends, the apartment would be burned. They had to untie
him at some point, he just had to wait and he needed more drugs, what was it
called? Doxymol, that's what it was that had given him control again and this
time he wasn't going to tiptoe around everyone.
Suddenly, he heard a
heart beat coming closer and a familiar scent. He inhaled deeply, it was
vanilla and a familiar face appeared in the door.
"Well, this is an
interesting way to find you, what happened?"
"Buff! How great to
see you!"
"What'd you call
me?"
"Buff! Untie
me!"
Could it be? Was it
possible? No one had been up in the office, but here he was chained? Her heart
skipped a beat. "Angel?"
"Guess again
lover." It was him! His eyes were so cold, as she remembered them from the
past.
"Is this possible?
What happened?"
"You mean did the
soul find true happiness again? Of course. That boy was busy moping around,
AGAIN! He's so annoying! I wish he'd just give up on this fighting shit so I
could do my thing. But at least he had the courtesy to step aside. Now untie
me."
"No."
"That's right, you
liked to have me tied, I remember all the games. Soul remembers them too, every
night he remembers, he likes it, gets him off. He won't admit it, but he likes
it a lot. Untie me, please."
"Why in such a
hurry?" She stalked over to him, swaying her hips ever so slightly.
God she was hot! Just
looking at her made him hard. But she was a traitor; she liked to play both
sides of the fence. She swore she loved him, but in the next breath she'd be
claiming her love for the soul, whom she had sent to Hell anyway. She was a
walking contradiction and he loved that about her. She leaned into him and
lightly brushed his lips with her own. He struggled to pull up on the chains.
She sat on the bed next to him and rested her elbow on his stomach. "My my
my, quite the predicament we've gotten ourselves into, isn't it?"
"Just unchain
me."
"Yeah right in your
dreams."
"Or in yours
Buff." He could hear her pulse, it was his, she was his. Once again, the
soul refused to take what was his, but he never forgot what was his and Buffy
was, and he'd have her this time for good. Buffy Summers belonged to him, by
accident or design, she was his.
He smiled that crooked
smile of his that she had gotten used to. She wanted to kiss it off his face.
"So what happened Angelus? Humor me. I'm curious."
"You always were
Buff, but why don't we talk about this over a drink?"
"Not mine, that's
for sure." She was wet, begging for his touch, aching for him to take her
once more in his arms. Her body was singing to her to just strip right there.
She knew it was wrong this time, it would only hurt in the long run, love
always did, but she couldn't help but want him. His arrogance and confidence
were commanding and they took control of her.
"Seems like you
want it bad Buff, I can make the ache go away, you know I can, you know you
want me to, I can smell it."
"That is a horrible
horrible skill."
"I think it's a
good one actually. Now why don't I do something about that for you? You can't
hide it from me Buff, your pulse is racing, and your body is screaming to you.
Unchain me and it'll stop, I'll make it stop, the keys are around here somewhere."
"I don't think so.
Desire and action are two different things and I'm not mixing business with
pleasure anymore, I learned my lesson the first two times. I won't be burned
again."
"Mixing business
with pleasure again? What exactly did you do to Spike to turn him on me? If I
remember right, he'd like your games a lot, did you play with him? Ya fuck him
too? You sell yourself too short Buff. Why not Dru too? She likes to swing.
Speaking of, where are they anyway? Hmm?"
"I did not fuck
Spike, he came to me. The first mistake was Angel, the second was you, and it
won't happen again. And Dru's gone, she left him."
"Good. He never
learned anyway, I oughtta teach him a lesson."
"I'm still curious
as to how this happened."
"Well, this girl was
kind enough to provide for me some services. Your precious boy wasn't as chaste
as some might think. Don't worry Buff, I promise I won't kill any of your
friends."
"You're not killing
anyone. You're not leaving this room. I'm going to call Willow and she'll do
the curse and then everything will be exactly as it should be."
"Oh COME ON! We
didn't learn the first two times? I don't need a soul, I'm good without. Now
unchain me so I can take care of that ache inside."
"No."
"DO IT!" He
growled loudly and it make her insides shake, turning her on even more. She got
up and found a key on the dresser. "Buff, please... they hurt, they're
cuttin' off my circulation."
"You're dead. You
don't have any, remember?"
"Right, but if I
did, it would, now please Buff... please."
"Now this sounds
familiar. As I recall, last time you and I were together, that's exactly what
you said, isn't it. I do believe I was right about here." She sat up on
his chest and straddled him grinding herself into his stomach. "Was I here?
Or was I down here?" She moved her body over his raging cock.
"Buff, get off
me!"
"OH please, you
want it just as much as I do."
That was true, he
couldn't dispute that, but she had left him and sent Dru to unchain him and Dru
had been mad. She had lashed into him, the likes of which he'd never imagined
and even his quick-healing body had been sore for a couple days. True, he had
been proud of Dru, but he had still punished her severely. He closed his eyes
for a minute and heard her screaming in his head, what a pleasant sound. The
Soul always shut the screams and pleads out, but he let them come. But his
memories were disrupted by the heat of her body over his; he could feel it
radiating out from her between her thighs, calling to him, begging with him.
"You know Buff, the Soul isn't going to be happy about this."
"There isn't
anything to be unhappy about, is there?"
"Please Buff,
unchain me."
"Why? So you can
kill me? So you can turn me? That's what you said you wanted, right?" He
couldn't deny that to her, it's what he always wanted. He nodded. "Quite
the predicament you're in here, you're not going anywhere, you might as well
just sit tight until we can fix this. Of course, I guess you have no choice, do
you?" She jumped off and left. Where was she going? What was she doing? He
had to get free, he could feel the drug wearing off, he had to feed and get
more. He looked down and she had left the key on his chest, if he could only
knock it down to his hand, he might be able to get free.
She tried calling
Cordelia's house, no answer. "Damn." She had no idea what had
happened. The apartment was a wreck; Angel and the girl must have had fun. Her
eyes filled with tears, what had he been thinking? He had actually been with
someone else, knowing it would cost him his soul. She tried calling Willow but
she had to leave a message. She walked back toward the room, "Angelus,
it's going to b... okay... where the hell is he?" He was gone.
He knew exactly where to
go, then he'd find some dinner, then he'd find Buffy and make her pay her debt
to him. He had the drugs, a good supply, and the dealer had provided a nice
appetizer. It felt so good to have something warm, something that struggled.
"Angel..." he
heard a familiar voice behind him. "Angel... what are you doing out
here?"
"Hunting."
"Yeah well, there's
a vampire on the loose, you gonna kill it?"
"Yeah I'm gonna
kill something Kate." He turned around and her face went pale seeing his
yellow eyes. She froze and he grabbed her and sunk his fangs into her throat.
He let her sink to the ground. He was ready for Buffy now.
She sat in the
apartment, knowing she should leave, knowing she should go home. She should be
anywhere but here when he came back, since it was inevitable that he would
indeed return. It was, and he did, she could feel it in her bones, he was back.
She went out of the bedroom and he was sitting on the couch. She stood in the
doorway of the bedroom looking at him. "Get what you needed?"
"Yes, it was quite
the exciting journey. That bitch of a detective won't be bothering me again,
dumb luck on my part, stupidity on hers, she should have been nicer."
"That's great.
How'd you get out?" He looked at her coldly, like never before. He was
angry with her, really angry, not like before.
"I have my ways.
Didn't you always say that I was stealthy Buff?"
"What do you
want?"
"Well, by now
Scooby Gang must be on their way, huh? With an orb and some Latin they don't
understand, right?" She stared at him blankly. "You're been
instructed to keep me here? So keep me, otherwise I'm leaving, it's been a
while since I could hunt and torture and I really like it." He stood up
and threw his arms out to offer himself to her, "Come on Buff! Make an
effort to keep my attention. Take me!"
He came over to her,
"I don't want you, Angelus."
He grabbed her waist and
pulled him to her. "Oh that's not true Buff." And it wasn't, she
wanted him, she always did, but not now, he was mean. She looked deep into his
eyes and he was hateful.
"What's
wrong?" She asked as he began kissing her neck harshly.
"What?"
"Your eyes, what's
wrong?" Suddenly he grabbed her by the wrists and dragged her into the
bedroom, throwing her down on the bed. Sooner than she knew her wrists were
chained to the bed and he was going about chaining her ankles. "That
hurts. It's too tight. What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?
That's a good question Buff. Let's see..." He sat next to her as he began
stroking her forcefully, his cold eyes staring into hers. "Well, first
things first, I didn't like the way you left me for Dru to find. Secondly, you
sent me to Hell. Third, you claimed that you loved the Soul; after you told me
you were mine. Then you wouldn't unchain me and lastly, I think you have
another boyfriend."
"What? Riley?
Please!"
"Is that his name?
What kind of a name is that?"
"I don't know. He's
nice, I like him okay, but he doesn't compare. As if he could. And I didn't
send you to Hell, I sent Angel and since you're always saying you're not the
same, then it's not fair to turn this around. What else? I never told you I
stopped loving Angel. I still haven't."
His hand slammed into
her face. "DON'T SAY THAT! YOU'RE MINE!"
"NO!"
That was it. He ripped
off her shirt and bra, and pulled down her skirt, ripped off her panties. He
slapped her again before taking off his clothes quickly. She was so scared; he
could smell it, like the drugs running through his body, he craved that smell.
He mounted her and slammed into her tiny body. She cried out in agony and he
closed his eyes as he began pounding into her. She was so tight around him, he
remembered that about her.
"Please don't...
please." But he couldn't hear her pleas for mercy. He thrust into her once
more hard and he came. He opened his eyes and hers were staring up in fear.
"Oh God Buffy...
I'm so sorry." He got off quickly and unchained her. There were marks
where the chains had been, they were tight and her right wrist was bleeding a
little. "Buffy..." he didn't know what to say to her. He hadn't meant
to hurt her; he didn't want to hurt her, not like that. "Are you
okay?" She was shaking, she sat up and he got up and took a sweater of the
Soul's and gave it to her. She quickly put it on through her tears.
"Buffy..." he grabbed his pants and put them on and kneeled in front
of her, "Buffy, look at me... please look at me." But she didn't, she
was crying.
She tried to stand up
but couldn't and she collapsed to the floor and he gathered her in his arms and
laid her on the bed. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I never meant to do that to you,
never to you. I was mad, I'm sorry Buffy, I love you." She turned to him,
her eyes red from tears. He caressed her face, wiping the tears from her
cheeks. "I love you Buff, and I'm sorry if I made you doubt that. I love
you. Are you okay?" He asked once more and she nodded hesitantly and he
pulled her close to him. He couldn't believe it. He had raped hundreds of girls
before killing them and he had enjoyed it, but Buffy? He did love her. He
couldn't quite grasp why or how he felt these emotions, but he did. He hated
it, but he did and now he had hurt her. He hated himself and it grew worse as
he held her listening to her cry. She fell asleep soon by crying until she
could no longer stay awake. He got up after she had fallen asleep and looked at
her. She had a few bruises on her legs and thighs, maybe a few internally, but
she would heal, physically. He had to make her feel better; his plans were now
on hold. He couldn't turn her after this, not yet. He would wait until she
trusted him again. Her face was bruised; he had hit her a couple times, maybe
more.
The phone rang and he
picked it up. "Hello?"
"Angel? It's
Willow, Buffy told me to call her at your place. Is she okay? Why's she in LA?
Did you need her help?"
"She's fine. She
just needed to talk to me quick; I'm bringing her back tomorrow night. Don't
worry Willow, she's fine."
"Okay, see you
then."
"Looking forward to
it." Indeed he was, he had unfinished business in Sunnydale. He smirked as
he went out hunting again. Buffy would sleep for a while.
She woke up and he was
gone. She was relieved and slightly disappointed. She got up, her insides hurt,
her entire body. She felt as if her entire body was breaking. Her insides shook
and hurt her, her heart was inside out. She went into the bathroom and ran a hot
bath. She took the sweater off and slipped under the water, breathing in the
vapors, letting them sooth her new wounds. She closed her eyes and relaxed into
the water.
"Buffy?" His
voice cracked the silence. "Buffy? Are you here?" She didn't want to
answer him; she didn't want him to come in. She was scared of him now, he had
seen to that. Still his words had soothed her, calmed her. "Buffy?"
He knocked on the bathroom door. "Buffy can I come in?" She didn't
say anything. "Buffy, I know you're hurting and I'm sorry. Please, let me
come in, we have to talk." The door slowly opened.
He was almost scared to
open the door; scared she'd done something drastic. But as his eyes surveyed the
room when the door was completely open, she was in the tub staring at the door
with so much fear. She had covered herself up from his eyes, his glaze and
rightfully so, he got hard just by looking at her, scared or not.
"Buffy, listen I'm
not going to hurt you again. I promise. Please just say something."
"Get out." Not
exactly the words he'd been wanting to hear, but she had a right to be mad.
He'd treated her like any other girl, and she clearly wasn't.
"Buffy, I know
you're mad and I don't blame you. I can explain."
"Explain? What's
there to explain? Get out!"
"Buffy..."
"GET OUT! YOU'RE A
MONSTER! AND I HATE YOU!" She started crying again.
Perhaps she cried
because she was mad at herself for lying. She still loved him, after everything
he did, after everything she knew he'd done, she still loved him. Furthermore,
she hated herself for loving him and hurting Angel. How was she to choose? She
loved them both. She was torn. Her body was bleeding.
"Buffy," he
walked to the edge of the tub and her whole body tensed up. "Buffy, you
have every right to hate me, I hate myself for what I did. I'm sorry, I never
meant..."
It was hard apologizing,
he'd never been sorry for anything. Angelus, the Scourge of Europe,
apologizing? And to a slayer no less. But he was sorry, it killed him to admit
it, but he was. "I never meant it to go that far. I do love you. I can't
explain it, I can't even think about it because it makes me angry. My own
reputation, my own body turning on me. My brain says to shut you out and to
kill you, to hurt you, but the rest of me? The rest of me tells my brain to
shut up. It tells me to take you and show you how deeply I love you. It was
obsession at first I suppose, but now? I'm sorry Buffy. I love you."
She was crying once
again, she was so beautiful when she was crying. He kneeled by the tub and her
body soon relaxed as she cried into her hands. He looked over her body, some of
the bruises had healed already, others hadn't. Her face was no longer red, it
had returned to its beauty. "Why does this hurt so much?" She asked
through her sobs.
"What?"
"Love. I can't have
it without hurting, it's not fair."
"Yes you can."
He took her wrists gently and pulled them away from her face. "Buffy, look
at me, yes you can."
"Why does everyone
want to hurt me? You, Angel, Parker, my Dad, everyone wants to."
"That's not true. I
didn't want to, I'm sorry. I should've been stronger. I should've stopped
myself but I'm weak against the demon, the need to hurt, it's powerful, even
more so than love. I've never claimed to be anything but a demon, until now.
When I say that I love you, I claim to be a man."
"No, you're just
going to hurt me again, you always do."
"No, that's not
true."
"You left me, you
hurt me and you left me again and now you're going to hurt me again."
"NO! I'm not. Let
me show you Buffy; let me show you that I don't want to hurt you. I don't want
to hurt you Buffy. Love doesn't have to hurt you." She was still crying.
He wouldn't touch her unless she wanted him too, never again would he touch
unless he wanted him to.
She looked up and her
Angel had come back to her! He wanted to love her! She put her hand up to his
face and he kissed her gently. She pulled his face to hers and his lips felt so
good against hers. She parted her lips to him and invited his tongue into her
and it came. She pushed against it and he answered her force, it gave her a
rush, made her dizzy. He stood up and put out his hand and she stood up, water
dripping off her soaked body and he wrapped her in a towel and led her to the
bed. He went about the room and lit a couple candles and walked back over to
her unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off. Next he dropped his pants and
kicked off his boots. She lay back on the bed watching and then he sat beside her.
"Nothing will
happen unless you want it to Buffy." She nodded. His words were so
soothing to her, her Angel. His calming presence in the room made her feel at
peace, once again at home in his arms, in his bed.
He had no idea what was
going on in her mind. He had to show her he didn't want to hurt her, never
again. He would surely lay his life down for her if it meant keeping her safe.
This devotion he felt toward her made him sick, but he wasn't going to fight it
anymore. He had to show her he wasn't the monster she thought he was.
//And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closet to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now//
He slowly opened the towel
and gasped at her beauty. She pulled his mouth to hers and he accepted what she
offered him. Her warmth entered his mouth and explored it fully and he let her
take what she wanted before moving to kiss her gently. He reminded himself that
there would be no biting tonight; he had to keep that in mind. She had to
believe that not everyone wanted something from her.
Her hands ran over his
shoulders and her touch set him on fire. He kissed her neck gently down to her
breast and she moaned as his tongue made contact with her. He cursed himself
inside for letting the demon get out of control with her. He began suckling on
her nipple until it was hard in his mouth and he moved to the other one. She
continued moaning and squirming around underneath him. Once he felt he had
spent enough time on her breasts, he slipped down to her navel, he had always
loved it. Once finished there, he continued his trail of gentle kisses to her
thighs.
His mouth was so good on
her skin. Her Angel was so tender with her.
//And all I could taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight//
He kissed the bruises he
had put there more than any other part of her body. She slowly spread her legs
to him as he settled his head between them. He kissed her gently before pushing
his tongue between her soft folds. She was wet inside, he also tasted the
remnants of blood, he had made her bleed because she hadn't been ready for him,
she hadn't wanted him. He secretly cried inside for what he had done to her. He
had to make it up to her.
She arched up into his
touch as she moaned softly. He slid his hand up to her stomach, up toward her
chest and her hand grabbed his and held it. He twirled his tongue around inside
her before taking her clit into his mouth. He slipped his finger inside her,
and her body drew him in more, begged for his touch. He was gently, lightly
touching her, lightly sucking, he didn't want to scare her. She squirmed around
above him, moaning softly.
//And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am//
He tried to resist the
temptation to bite her, he suppressed it, fought it. He couldn't for much
longer so he returned to her mouth and she kissed him deeply. He was lying at
her side and she tried pulling him on top of her.
He wouldn't go inside,
she wanted her Angel. She needed him buried inside her, to make the pain go
away. "Buffy are you sure?"
She nodded and pulled
him toward her and felt his weight on her, his shaft at her dripping entrance,
begging for him. When he began his descent into her body she winced at the
pain, it hurt. She cried. "Buffy?" She nodded and spread her legs more
for him. She looked up and was horrified, it wasn't her Angel. She closed her
deceiving eyes.
//And you can't fight the tears that are coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive//
He entered her
excruciatingly slowly but he didn't want to hurt her. Once inside, he could feel her little body stretching for
him, clenching around him. She had changed. She was crying. "Buffy? Are
you okay?" She nodded through the tears. "Do you want me to
stop?" She shook her head. He pulled out slowly and reentered her again.
He did this several times until her felt she was ready and then he began
thrusting inside her gently, but with purpose.
He kissed her and soon
he felt her release which triggered his own. She was still crying.
//And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am//
He rolled off her and
she whimpered. She turned over on her side, facing away from him and he closed
his eyes and listened to her breathing until it was slow and steady. He got up
and got dressed, too another pill and waited for sunset. He sat at the foot of
the bed when he heard her begin to stir.
"Angel?"
"No, Buffy, it's
me." She broke down in tears again. "Buffy, it's after dusk, I'm
gonna take you home."
"Home?"
"Back to Sunnydale,
but we have to leave now." He felt her get up and suddenly, she had her
hand wrapped around his waist, her head resting on his shoulder from behind.
"I'm ready."
//And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am//
~El Fin~
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