SERIES : the
Buffy & Angelus Chronicles
PAIRING : Buffy/Angelus,
Buffy/Angel (at end)
RATING : NC17
SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve
used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters. Nor do I own “Angel” (Sarah McLachlan).
NOTES & WARNINGS : Entire
series has : rape, torture, character deaths & pain (these things are not
in every part).
=====================================================================
It had been a year and a
half since he walked out of her life the first time, playing the noble one. She
had had to agree with him the second time, it seemed like the right thing to
do, but it hurt so much. She recalled a night in her life that had saved it,
her life. A night in which she had almost ended it.
There was only one
creature that knew about that night. She had gone to the mansion with a knife
and the claddaugh ring. She had sat in front of the fireplace staring at it
deeply, watching the flames through her tears. She had been tired of the lies
and thoughts that she could move on. She was sick of the memories that plagued her
soul, the things she'd done and regretted. She had taken the knife to her
wrists and watched the blood spilling from her body. He had shown up not five
minutes later and had stopped the bleeding. He sat with her that night and
listened as she cried. Yes Spike had definitely surprised her that night, and
had kept his word, he had told no one. Since Angel had left, Spike had become a
second best friend to her. He insisted on patrolling with her and he had helped
her, or tried to help her heal. That night Spike learned just how much she
hadn't healed from the events of Angelus’ return.
Now, seven months later,
she stared at the paper, not believing what it said. It was the answer to all
her prayers. She had to follow through with it.
There was never a day
when he woke up and didn't think of her, never a night when he didn't remember
the warmth and peace he had found deep within her. Never did a day pass when he
didn't regret erasing the happiest day of his life. Never a night he didn't
dream about the profound solace he found within her core. Never was there a
dream that didn't succeed in turning him on, never a morning he woke up and
didn't take a cold shower. Never a day he didn't hate himself for hurting her
the way he did. Never a day went by when he didn't close his eyes and see her
covered in bruises from his own hands. And there never was a day that went by
when he didn't wish he could tell Buffy that his soul was permanent. He wanted
desperately to call her, but he couldn't bring himself to, it still wouldn't
make a difference. They were still from different worlds.
He had made the choices
and he had to deal with them. He woke up this particular morning early and went
up to the office. It was empty now and he sat at his desk and took the photo of
Buffy out from the bottom of his drawer. He jumped when the phone rang.
"Angel Investigations, We help the hopeless. Can I help you?"
She hadn't been
expecting him to answer. His voice sounded so good. "Hello? Is someone
there?" He asked.
"Angel?"
It was her. "Buffy?
Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"I need you."
He had been longing to hear those words for so long.
"What's wrong? What
happened?"
"Can you
come?"
"Of course, yes, is
it a demon?"
"When can you get
here?"
"I'll leave right
now."
"The sun..."
"No, the windows
are tinted, Buffy... tell me what's going on."
"I'll be
waiting."
"Where?"
"You know... and
Angel, hurry." She hung up on him. What was going on? Was she hurt? Was
she kidnapped? He hated this, he tried the redial thing he saw advertised on
television, but it didn't work, could be a pay phone or cell phone. He
scribbled a note for Cordelia and was on his way, he had to hurry. She needed
him.
She was waiting, reading
and rereading the pages in the book. There was no mistaking what it said, none
at all and he was on his way. Soon, it would be over. Soon, it would begin. She
was ready.
He knew where she would
be. The last place they had shared pure intimacy was at the mansion. The
mansion held several memories for him,
most bad: drinking from her, hurting her, leaving her. He hadn't been back
there since he'd left the second time. It wasn't healthy for them, wasn't safe.
He pulled into the driveway and into the garage Spike had kept his car in just
a few years ago and the memories came flooding back. She was here; he could
feel her in his bones.
He was here, she felt
him inside. She welcomed the feeling
after so long.
He was unsure of what to
say when he saw her sitting in front of a blazing fire, staring at it. So he
didn't say anything, he sat beside her and looked into it for what seemed like
hours.
"You know, about
seven months ago, I was here. Actually I come here a lot, probably more than I should,
it helps me think, gives me clarity, sometimes tears, but it's a place I feel
safe." He didn't know what to say, it didn't seem appropriate to say
anything, so he didn't. "Anyway, I came here with this." He looked
down at her hand and she held the ring in her palm. "I came and put it
right here." She set it down in front of the fire. "I put it right
here and stared at it for a while. One little silver ring meant so much to me,
my future, my love, my life; it meant everything to me, the world. It was a
promise, a symbol of what we had and the connection we shared."
He still didn't know
what to say to her, so he didn't, and she continued. "The flames danced on
it, created shadows on the floor and if I stare at them long enough I see our
past, yours, mine, ours, all of it in those shadows on the floor." She was
quiet. "After a while I couldn't even see straight anymore, I was watching
every moment of us dance on the floor, our passionate and tender love, the
ecstasy of our hate, the clarity of my grief for you, the tears of our goodbye,
and I cried. I cried so much. I couldn't even see past the tears. I was
shaking, inside and out and I took out this knife." She took a knife from
under her leg; she pressed the blade lightly into her wrists. He looked at them
and saw scars on them, more scars. Her young body had too many scars. "I
cut my wrists Angel, I cut them because I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't
pretend I didn't love you, I couldn't pretend to be perky-Buffy, I couldn't
wear the masks anymore. I couldn't pretend what happened didn't, and I couldn't
pretend that it didn't affect me. I didn't want to be the Slayer; I didn't want
to be here. I wanted to stop it, the pain, the loneliness, the fear of never
finding a love like ours again. I never left the darkness. It was something I
couldn't escape, I can't escape. It's so consuming, so powerful."
He still didn't know
what to say. He couldn't get a read on the situation, she hadn't looked at him
yet, hadn't touched him, hadn't even glanced at him, she was just staring at
the fire and the ring. "I made a friend that night, or rather found an
unusual one. I don't know why he helped me, why he didn't finish me off. I
guess because he knows something I don't, or maybe he doesn't want to have put up
with a new Slayer. You know him, you made him. Spike stopped the bleeding and
held me all-night and listened to me cry. Never once did he try and tell me
what to do, or to calm down, and I don't have to pretend with him." Had
she fallen in love with Spike? He surely didn't want to know this, but he still
didn't know what he could contribute to this conversation.
"I've seen many
things in my life, I've done many things I'm not proud of, not like you have,
but I've made mistakes. I took two men in my bed, rather two boys, extremely
disappointing at that. In the course of this, I almost completely alienated my
closet friends and almost completely forgot who I was and what I stood for. I
was almost killed on more than one occasion, probably on more than a hundred, but
I lost track. I had a wonderful lover, a friend, a confident who I just let
walk out of my life. I got confused and wrapped up in the darkness, and let it
consume me, take me over and the things I let happen... what I did... I tried
to kill myself over all this; I would have killed myself if it hadn't been for
your childe Angel. I was ready to die." She sat quiet for minutes.
"Say something Angel."
"Like what? What
could I possibly say?"
"I don't
know."
"Why did you call
me?"
"Because I've come
to the realization that I need you as much as you need blood, to survive."
"Buf..."
"I realized this
throughout the course of talking with Spike, of all people. He goes patrolling
with me and we talk about everything. Things the three of you used to do, when
he first met you and Dru, what it's like. You never liked to talk about vampire
things, he doesn't care, he's not ashamed, doesn't feel guilty over liking to
hurt and kill people. He talks very bluntly about everything. Anyway, we got
talking one night about him and Drusilla and how much he missed her and how
insanely jealous he was when he saw her making out with that other demon. And
it's through talks with him that I decided that I was going to do whatever it
takes to convince you of the very fact that you need me."
"Buffy." She
turned to him and looked deep in his eyes. He melted into her gaze.
She handed him the book.
"Read the pages I've book marked." She resumed her staring into the
fire running her fingers along the blade. He read and was astonished at the
suggestions the pages contained.
She sat quietly
reflecting on everything. He put the book down.
"Buffy..."
"This place has
seen a lot of blood. It saw mine her seven months ago, and eleven months before
that. It saw Giles', not to mention Parker's and Riley's, and how many other
strangers'. And it’s seen me in many different ways. Do you remember what we
did upstairs?"
"Buffy... let's
not..."
"Why not? Are you
ashamed that your demon made love to me? Or are you angry that I made love to
him? Are you angry that we fucked for three days before I sent you to hell? Or
are you mad because I enjoyed it just as much as he did?"
"Buffy..."
"Or is it a
combination of all of the above?"
"Buffy, I'm mad
because of what you let him do to you and what he took from you. I'm mad at me
for wearing the hands that did those things." They were silent for a time.
She took the book from
him. "Interesting information huh?"
"No." He said
firmly.
"No it's not?"
"No it's not going
to happen." He said.
"Why not? Would you
rather watch me die?"
"I'm not going to,
I promised, I won't scar you again. I won't hurt you again."
"But you do every
minute you stay away. Is it because I sent you to Hell? Is that why you punish me
like this? Is it because I told him I loved him?"
"Buffy..."
"Is it because I
meant it? Because I do, I don’t take it back. He's a part of you Angel, not all
of you, but a part of you. I love all of you, who you were, who you are, every
little piece of you. It's because of him that I have you; otherwise we'd never
have met. You would have died long before my grandparents were born. He brought
you to me. Without him you wouldn't be so damn broody and mysterious, you
wouldn't be so cool against my skin, all these things I love about you. I know
that the last time we, him and I, met things didn't go well, they were
horrible. I know this and I know it's not him I want, I was confused in high
school when you came back from Hell, then when I showed up in L.A. and there he
was, it was easy to fall into bed with him. It was easy to erase the pain and
emptiness with someone who had your face. But it was never the same, he was
still cold, his eyes, even when we made love, he was so completely not what I
needed and I wish I had known that before. I need you. I need this."
"You have no idea
what you'd be giving up Buffy."
"But what would I
get? I would get you, us."
"And you'd lose out
on children and sunlight... forever Buffy, do you have any idea of what forever
means? Of how long it is? Of how lonely? "
"Yes, I do. I've
lived a year and half without you, more than two years without feeling you
inside me, that's forever Angel. If I have to live seventy years more without
those two things, I'd rather die tonight. "
"It's so lonely
Buffy, forever is... god it's so lonely."
"It doesn't have to
be."
"Buffy, I won't let
you give up those things for this."
"What did you give
up for me Angel? What did you give up for my happiness? You gave up your soul.
You gave up every shred of dignity and respect you had earned, every good deed
was erased, for me."
"That wasn't
exactly a conscious choice."
"No, but you
suffered, you still do. Then because of that, you left me, to give me a chance
at a normal life, and I am grateful for that Angel, I am, but it didn't work.
And after the rape, you loved me, you gave me exactly what I needed, never
asked for anything in return, you just touched me, you helped me heal. And if
that wasn't enough, you gave up your humanity."
"WHAT?" How
did she know that? "Buffy, what did you say?"
"You gave up your
humanity so I could be safe. You gave up every dream you ever had, every wish,
without even a second thought, so I could stay safe. Look at all you've given
up for me, and how did I repay you? I went to your apartment and hit you,
accused you of being with Faith. I was a selfish child."
"Buffy, how do you
know about that day?"
"I just do, I
promised I wouldn't forget and I didn't."
"What?"
"Our love
transcends time Angel. That's the point. You're here and I'm here because we're
destined to be. The true love spell I did in high school only confirmed what we
both already knew inside. Our souls are connected to each other; I could find
you in a sea of strangers because I can feel you inside me. I knew you were
getting closer before you even pulled in the garage. Our love is stronger than
time."
"Why didn't you say
anything?"
"What could I
possibly have said? 'Gee Angel, thanks for giving up your humanity for me, I'll
see you later? ' I could barely stand up knowing it was over, like waking up
from a wonderful dream. I live in those memories every night Angel. I'm just
grateful that we have them, that you have them, for when I go."
He was quiet for a very
long time; he sat staring into the fire beside her, until he finally broke the
silence. "In Hell, you don't meet the devil, if he's there, I never saw or
heard of him. It was like a hundred years in a blazing inferno, a lot of the
residents I recognized, maybe not by name, but there was something familiar,
maybe just the evil. See everyone thinks that the Devil is full of hate and
evil, but it's all about justice, the righteous punishing the wicked. And I was
punished. They did nothing I hadn't done to a thousand others, nothing I didn't
deserve. They used my memories, my fears; they twisted it all around to make me
see what they wanted me to see. Horrible things I can't even..." she
looked at him and a tear streamed down his cheek. "I can't even think
about, let alone talk about. When I came back and started being able to think
clearly I started remembering things I had... he had... WE had done. Ms.
Calendar, the Judge, Acathla, Giles... and everything we said... I said to you.
Every time I sat in your room watching you, leaving drawings for you, killing
Willow's goldfish, grabbing her in the school, the desperate and sad look in
your face. Then I started to remember the hunger in your eyes, the desire in
your fingers, crawling around my body, calling his name, bucking underneath
him, begging for more..."
"You ARE mad."
"Jealous maybe... I
don't blame you Buffy; I created the plateau for his obsession to take off
from. I did that."
"No, destiny
did."
"I let it happen. I
should have walked away sooner but I didn't. I can't give you what you want. I
can't do what you ask. I won't. I have to go."
"No. You can't, you
won't. Either you're going to kill me tonight, or we're going to live
together."
"Buffy I won't. Not
again." He was quiet. "I live in those memories too. All of them. I think
of them and see the pictures he drew, my hands drew and I wish it had been me.
I want to do those things with you Buffy, to you, but I won't. I can't. Then I
think about the last time and how he hurt you, my hands Buffy, MY hands did
those things to you. I won't hurt you again. I won't. You have to move
on."
"No, I can't."
"You don't have a
choice."
"Angel, he told me
that he liked feeling my warmth, my blood... you do too, so take them both. I
give myself to you, everything that I have, my life, I want you to take what's
yours."
"No."
"You think I don't
know about everything Angel, but the past seven months have given me a lot of
clarity. The ring, an Irish tradition, I know about it. When given, the
claddaugh represents devotion and loyalty, friendship and love and commitment.
I've been married to you since I was seventeen when we consummated our
relationship. You never bothered to tell me what it all meant, but I found out,
it's a sacred marriage vow." Again he had nothing to say to her. "Why
didn't you tell me? You didn't want to scare me by telling me how much you
loved me, how beyond words it was. I wasn't scared Angel, I wouldn't have been,
I love you so much it hurts me inside, it tears me up inside. I wasn't scared
about the commitment; it's what I wanted. And I WASN'T scared when you made me
yours."
"Buffy..."
"Remember when you,
he, came to the library the night after he tricked me, he went to kill me and I
told him to and he didn't. I was researching vampire mating rituals that night.
I wanted to know why he was so possessive of me, he constantly called me his.
And you know what I found?" She was silent. "You do know what I
found."
"Yes."
"Tell me."
They were both quiet. "Tell me Angel. Say the words."
"You already
know."
"I want to hear
them from your mouth. He told me he knew about the folklore surrounding the
vampires. Tell me." He watched her rubbing her finger over the blade of
the knife, waiting to pierce him. He wouldn't let her. "Tell me
Angel." He was silent for minutes.
"Some vampires mate
for eternity. They seek out their mate, most often a human, and court them with
human rituals, and drink from them on several occasions before sharing the
demon. That way the mate carries the scar of belonging."
"Tell me."
He looked at her, still
looking at the flames. He brushed her hair back to reveal her scar from him. He
ran his fingers over it. "I did this. I made you mine."
"I am, I always
have been." She turned to him and looked into his eyes for the second
time. "I am yours Angel, in every sense. I have the ring your people
exchanged as wedding vows; I have the scars that connect me to the demon. I am
yours."
"And I don't want
you anymore."
She slapped him and he
deserved it. "Like hell you don't. Why did you come then?"
"I thought you were
in trouble."
"I am."
"What?"
"Trouble of losing
my mind Angel. I can't do what I do anymore, not like this, not knowing what
I've done, what I've seen, what kind of slayer am I anyway? I can't go on
without you. I want to die. I am going to die either by your hand or mine. The
question is whether or not I'll come back."
"Buffy, I won't let
you do this. You don't know what it's like."
"Cause you never
told me, but Spike did. He told me a lot."
"Well Spike has a
twisted view point, he likes it."
"And you
don't?"
"I did. Having a
soul kind of takes away the fun of being guilt free."
"But I won't have
guilt, I won't kill."
"How can you be
sure?"
"Angel, I did the
research."
"How can you be
sure?"
"I can't be. But it's
a chance I'm willing to take."
"I'm not."
"Then I won't come
back, but I will die, and you'll watch, or you'll leave."
"No, I won't let
you do this."
"You're going to
control me again?"
"Buffy, I may have
a soul but the demon is still there screaming at me to just kill someone. It's
begging for me to take that knife and cut your insides out, screaming at me all
the time. It brings my memories into my dreams and I enjoy them, the killing
dreams. I miss it, I wish for once the demon could be stronger than the
conscience, so I could have just one new memory." He brushed her scar once
more. "I barely pulled myself away that night Buffy. I couldn't do it, I
wanted to, but the demon wouldn't let me. Having something warm again and from
the Slayer too? The object of both his and mine obsessions and affections. You
almost died by me, and I won't do that again."
"I 'm asking to
completely kill me, and bring me into your world."
"No."
"Then we have
nothing more to say." She took the knife in her hand and slowly put it to
her wrists.
"NO! Buffy it's not
worth it."
"I don't want this
life anymore Angel."
"Have you
considered the curse in any of your reunite-Buffy-and-Angel plans?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not a
concern anymore."
"What?" How
could she know about that?
"Because I asked
for it. I went to the Oracles before I came back here and I told them that I
did remember what they did. They were surprised that I remembered to say the
least. I told them that they owed you for it, for ensuring them two warriors,
and that you should get something for the sacrifice. They didn't like that I
ordered them around, but they agreed and they said they would abolish the
happiness clause when the time was right."
//Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay//
"So how do you know
it's not a concern anymore?"
"Because the time
is right." She looked at him once more. "Angel, I won't make you, but
I won't let you stop me either."
"What do you want from
me Buffy? I don't want this for you. I don't want your life filled with demons
and darkness. I didn't leave so you could do this. I don't want you to wake up
in the middle of the night craving human blood. I don't want you to never see
the sun again, believe me, you take it for granted but as soon as it's gone,
it's like a dream."
//There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day//
"Angel, my life is
already surrounded in darkness. I can't escape it on my own, I tried. The only
time I am happy with when I'm with you, the only time I feel accepted is with
you. And what about you? What about my life with you?"
"You won't have
one. You'll be dead."
"Angel, I've spent
months thinking about this, years really, ever since I met you I thought about
it, and even before that. I thought
about what it would be like, and ever since I started reading this stuff, all
the stories about the slayers, I'm ready. It's not like I'm just jumping on
this decision."
"You wanna be cold
forever? Watch your friends die? Watch your mother die? Is that really what you
want?"
She looked deep into his
eyes and touched put her hand to his cheek, "Yes. It is." With that,
he took her into his arms and held her close.
//I need some distraction
Oh a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight//
Never did he remember
her being so sad and determined. She leaned back into his chest and he held
her. Even when he had lost his soul and was tormenting her, she hadn't look so
lonely.
//In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear//
He felt so good, his arms
wrapped around her, she felt safe, at home. She felt like she belonged. And she
did. She did belonged there, in his arms. His hands were latched around her
waist, resting on her abdomen. She knew he wouldn't take her life from her now.
He meant what he said. So she was going to die, she couldn't go on. She dropped
the knife to the floor and picked the ring up. She held it so the flames
reflected off it in her eyes and his hand took it from hers and put it on her
finger, in it's rightful place. His hands then resumed their position around
her waist. She put her hands over his and just let herself sit, content in his
arms.
//We are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here//
She leaned back, and
allowed one arm to wrap around his head, and she leaned up and put her lips in
front of his. He took them in his own, gently pushing his tongue between her
mouth and she welcomed the feeling. He explored her mouth freely, running along
the tops of her teeth, along her palate, and eventually rubbing her tongue. It
was cold and she wanted so desperately to give herself to him once more, before
she left him forever.
//So tired of the straight line
That every where you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back//
She was engrossed in the
kiss when she realized he was unbuttoning her shirt. She soon felt his cool
hands engulfing the heat from her stomach. His hands moved up her arms to her
shoulders and slipped the shirt off. He cupped her breasts through the lace of
her bra and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of him, touching her once
more. She turned over and got to her knees. She looked deep into his eyes,
making the connection between them, reinforcing it.
//The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack//
She pushed his duster
off his shoulders as his hands rubbed her arms and ran through her golden hair.
She pulled his shirt off next and began kissing his chest, licking it slowly, running
her trembling fingers over it.
Both understood the
implications that came with the kisses. Both knew it would be the last. He
leaned back and she followed him, lying on top of him, connecting with his
mouth. His hands lovingly unclasped her bra and it joined her shirt on the
floor. He looked up at her, she was his angel sent from above, her love
redeemed him. It made him worthy of the light.
Her skin was so soft,
delicate to his touch. His fingers trembled as they made their way around her
body, reacquainting himself with her warmth and presence. Her skin was so warm
against his own, a feeling he would certainly miss. There wasn't enough time,
not to show her how much he loved her. There weren't enough words to describe
it.
//It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe//
He lay still while she
worked her way down to his boots and took them off. He closed his eyes and
listened carefully to her heartbeat, racing, trying to memorize it's sound, its
rhythm, seemingly calling his name. He was concentrating so much he didn't
realize that his jeans were unzipped and she had successfully pulled his belt
off as well. She returned to his mouth, covering his lips with her own. His
hands went to work on her jeans, unzipping them and the two kicked them off and
their legs entwined. He was naked beneath his jeans but she still wore the
panties to match the bra.
His hands roamed over
her body as he laid her on the floor beside him. His eyes focused on things he'd
never seen before: a little scar on her arm, a nick on her stomach, a birthmark
near her navel, a scratch just above her left breast. He kissed all these
things, gently, first with his lips, but then with his tongue, hoping he could
heal all her wounds.
She let him gaze at her,
relished the feeling of his cool mouth roam her body freely, his hands running
down her legs, on her thighs and over her sex. Feeling him touch her through
the lace fabric was thrilling and exhilarating. She felt him lift her hips up
off the ground lightly to slip the panties off and she closed her eyes as his
tongue made contact with her soft folds.
//In this sweet madness
Oh the glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees//
Having him touch her
like this again, caring, loving, slowly sent her over the edge. She began to
cry, tears falling from her eyes to the rug below her. Tears for the feeling of
finally being home, and for the feeling of knowing it would soon be over.
Her skin was so soft to
his lips. He could taste her; feel her very essence in his mouth as he sucked
on her gently. He couldn't tell whether she was crying or moaning, or a little
of both. He released her from his mouth and returned to her face. He was lying
at her side and he cupped her face in his hands and wiped away the tears, but
they kept falling.
He could see behind
them, how badly she needs him. She didn't know, or didn't believe how much he
loved her. He wished he could prove how much without leaving her, but it was
impossible. Or was it?
He got up, positioning
himself over her small body, enveloping her with his form. She leaned up and
kissed him deeply. He hovered over her, feeling himself at her dripping
entrance, ready for him. He eased in slowly, excruciating slowly, allowing her
time to adjust to his size.
//In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear//
She let out a moan as he
entered her tight passage. He was so careful, patient, not like his counterpart
who had plowed his way through. Angel loomed above her, kissing her forehead,
her nose, eyes, lips and she felt herself stretching to accommodate him. She
closed her eyes, and soaked in the feeling of having him home once more. She
smiled feeling him filling her completely. The feeling of completion she got
from him, the feeling of him stretching her body, like he did her heart and
soul. She moaned softly, arching up toward him inviting him.
He then proceeded to ease
out, almost as slowly as he had entered, and then he pushed himself in again.
Her hands ran over his back, gripping his shoulders as his pace picked up a
little. She arched her back and lifted her pelvis to give him a better angle,
an open invitation to her lover. And she felt as he accepted her invitation to
her body, he pushed deeper into her cavity while his kisses rained upon her
face.
The only thing she could
hear was her own cries and gasps of ecstasy and exhilaration. She looked up at
him and he was her angel. The flames danced on his face, creating shadows. She
reached up and cupped his face in her hands and he kissed her fingers.
"Are you
okay?" He whispered between gentle thrusts and she nodded between gasps.
//We are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here//
He thrust inside her,
not going quite far enough. He wanted to reach that place in her body that
would tell her how much he loved her. It was impossible to, he had hurt her too
bad to ever make it completely up to her.
He watched her close her
eyes and arch herself up to him, to make contact with his body. She wriggled
underneath him, quivering, trembling and shaking all at once. She was so
beautiful as she began to tense up. He felt her squeezing around him and a low
growl resonated from deep within his chest as she did. It was pain; an intense
loving pain and he reveled in it.
She was close, he could
feel it, but he couldn't quite get her over the edge. She must have known it
too because she wrapped her legs around his waist drawing him deeper than she
ever remembered. He could feel her stopping him from going any further, he was
bumping her cervix. She let out a scream as she thrashed around under him, in
the throws of her intense orgasm. He leaned down and kissed her as she came and
she kissed him back, probably without realizing it.
When she began to
recover from her orgasm she knew he had not come yet and she wanted him to
experience the bliss she had. She knew what would throw him over the edge. He
was still reaching inside her and she felt herself beginning all over again.
She leaned up off the floor a little and he leaned down to her and she kissed
his jaw. She slowly trailed her kisses to his neck and bit into him with her
blunt teeth. In response he screamed and growled at the same time.
His blood dripped down,
as she had broken skin, and it fell from above onto her own neck. He lost
control, releasing his cool seed into her body, the coolness bathed her warmth
inside and she felt his fangs bury themselves deep within her flesh. She came
again with this action.
The scent of his own
blood entering the mix of emotions took him away from reality. The demon came
out immediately as they came together and he bit into her. Her blood splashed
into his mouth and he accepted it hungrily. It had been so long since he had
drunk from her and it washed over him, the aroma, the texture, it was purely
her. He drank it from her greedily and she squirmed underneath him, screaming
in ecstasy once more, he felt her come, smothering him with her hot liquids.
The double invasion of
him into her body sent her over the edge and she tried to hold on to the
sensations that surged through her body. They began to dissipate; he was drinking
them out of her, taking her life into his body, again by invitation. She closed
her eyes and enjoyed her last gift to him, feeling him so close to her body.
She cried once more.
He forced himself off
her. "Buffy?" He looked at her and she opened her eyes. "Buffy?
You need to hold on, I'm going to get you to the hospital."
"No. Angel..."
"Buffy, no, you
can't leave me, you can't, I won't let you. I need you, I do, and you can't
leave me like this." He reached under her body and pulled her close to
him.
She reached down,
feeling for the knife. She found it and pulled it up and saw the flames dancing
on the blade, reflecting the fear in his eyes, and the trust in hers.
"Buffy? I'm just going
to get dressed, just hold on, I'll take you to the hospital and it'll be
okay."
"No." She held
up the knife to him. "Angel..." she was gasping for breath, she was
dying, "Angel... please... please..." He took the knife and pressed
the blade into his wrist lightly. He couldn't. "Please... Angel..."
He pushed it into his skin and made an inch long cut. He stared at it for a
couple seconds, watching his own blood ooze out of his dead body. She reached
out to his wrist and tried to pull it to her mouth. He resisted.
"Angel?"
He looked into her eyes.
"Buffy, let me take you to the hospital."
"Angel...
please..." she pulled on his wrist once again.
"Buffy, be sure, be
very sure." He stopped resisting against his will, and she pulled it to
her mouth. She covered the wound with her lips and began drinking. He held her
as she died.
//You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here//
~El Fin~
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