SERIES : the
Buffy & Angelus Chronicles
PAIRING : Buffy/Angelus,
Buffy/Angel (at end)
RATING : NC17
SPOILERS : major spoilers, I’ve
used actual show quotes from all four seasons of Buffy & Angel season one.
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters. Nor do I own “Silence” (Hour Glass).
NOTES & WARNINGS : Entire
series has : rape, torture, character deaths & pain (these things are not
in every part).
=====================================================================
"What now?"
Spike asked as he his Sire dragged the soldier down the stairs.
"I was thinking he
should meet some of the same as that other bastard, since he touched
Buffy."
"You know, for fear
of being on the other side of hot poker again, you seem to defend her a lot
more than you should. Why do you care who she shags?"
"BECAUSE SHE'S
MINE!" His Sire bellowed. Suddenly, Spike understood.
"You don't want to
kill her, you want to turn her, don't you?"
"Turn her?"
Riley asked as Angelus punched him in the gut.
"You just sit and
be quiet." Angelus said.
"Why, do you have
any idea how wrong that is Peaches?"
"Slayers have been
turned before Spike, I don't need you criticizing me."
"Had you told Dru
and I that, perhaps we would have been more open to the idea. That why you've
been shaggin' her?"
"Partly, but now's
not the time to get all chummy again. I have some plans for our soldier friend
here, you see RILEY you've been doing some naughty things with our demon
friends and we don't take kindly to humans killing our relatives, do we
Spike?" He shook his head. "And personally, Riley," Angelus
walked over to him with the dagger in his hand. "I don't take kindly to
soldiers messing with MY children or my women." The dagger sliced into the
boys face.
"That must've
hurt." Spike commented, sitting back to watch his Sire at work. By any
rights, Angelus was magnificent, despite his apparent affection towards the
slayer. Spike couldn't really fault Angelus for the affection, Spike had
affection toward Dru, scratch that, he loved Drusilla and it was obvious that
Angelus loved the Slayer. Granted it was a little more twisted because she was
the slayer, but he wasn't going to argue, things were just starting to get
interesting.
Angelus took a match and
lit it in front of the boys face. "Ever smelled burning skin my boy? It's
not really pleasant, for humans anyway, but for me, I like it." He held the
match under the boy's wrist. "Smell it, blood boiling, skin burning,"
and his Sire inhaled an unneeded breath. "Haven't you missed this
Spike?"
He nodded and watched
the fear and pain dance in the boy's eyes. He was trying not to scream, not to
give them the satisfaction but as Angelus lit another match and another, the
burn got deeper to his nerves and he began screaming. Spike looked at his
watch, "Not bad Lilac, you lasted four matches and forty seconds,
impressive."
"Lilac?"
Angelus asked as he went back to the table of treasures.
"Yes, that's his
name, the commando code he uses, nancy boy, bloody poof. He's more pathetic
that Soul Boy."
"Tell me about
it." Angelus stalked over toward Riley again. "You know what sound I
miss Spike? Bones breaking."
"Ah yes, music to
me heart." As he walked over to Riley he picked up the sledgehammer and
raised it above the boy's foot and slammed it down as the boy's scream filled
the mansion.
Upstairs, Buffy laid in
bed listening to the howls of pain. She tried to cover her ears, closed her
eyes to erase the pictures in her mind, the blood, the pain, his eyes mocking
her as she pleaded with to stop. She thought back on the past few days, trying
to find a time when she truly able to forget about the pain, when her mind had
completely shut down from the pain.
She stood up and
divested herself of the shirt and slipped on a black satin shirt of Angelus'.
She walked downstairs and watched from the door way as Angelus twisted Riley's knee
and she winced at the sound of bones, she only assumed.
She cleared her throat
and he turned around. "Lover, feeling better?"
"Actually I'm
feeling kind of horny at the moment. I wanna fuck. Got a minute to spare?"
"I've got forever
baby." He punched Riley hard.
He could no longer feel
anything in his body, it hurt too much to decide where he hurt more and he
closed his eyes as he was struck once more, and the darkness clouded his mind.
He picked her up and
carried her upstairs. "So what's your pleasure my love?"
"Huh?"
"Would you like
soft and gentle like this?" He brushed her lips with his own gently,
"Or hard and fast?" His tongue plunged into her mouth ferociously.
"Mmm..." she
moaned as his hand made it's way between two of the buttons. "That feel so
good... you feel..." his other hand slipped down between her legs and
parted them slightly as she stood there. "I said I wanna fuck, so fuck me
lover. Fuck me hard."
Good. He felt like being
rough tonight, all the violence of the day had brought back his lust for
violence. He was going hunting tomorrow night, he'd take Spike with him and
Buffy could watch them feast. It would be perfect. But for now, he had a task
at hand.
"Ooo, I like to
roughhouse, as you know lover." She laid back on the bed and opened her
legs to him. He took that as a signal, she wanted to be submissive, he was to
be the aggressor. He liked that and he was curious if Buffy would let him try
the whip again. She watched him hungrily as he walked backwards towards the
closet. He could smell her arousal in the air, it was heavy in the air and her
heartbeat was racing.
She knew what he was
getting and she didn't mind. Why should she? Only his touch could make her
forget what had happened, he was the only one who could love her. He was the
only one. He pulled her wrists back to the bedposts and handcuffed her to them.
She closed her eyes and gave herself to the moment. He caressed her thigh
before his fingers delved into her sticky heat and she could do nothing.
He watched her squirm
against the cuffs, what a beautiful sight. He wanted to see her blood, he
wanted to smell it, he was hard for her. "So, have you been good?" He
asked, raking up her body with his hungry lust-filled eyes.
"No Master, I have
sinned." He withdrew his finger from her depths and ran it along her lips
before pushing it into her mouth and she eagerly sucked it.
"Tell me."
"Well, Sir, I've
had unpure thoughts." He snapped the whip down onto her stomach and the
shirt was slashed.
"About what
slave?" He asked as he climbed over her on the bed.
"I thought of a man
who would do things to my body Master, naughty things."
"Like what?"
He asked as he rubbed against her through his pants.
"Well Master, I
thought of a man who would take me in his mouth and bite me."
"Ah, is it this
demon you spoke of before?"
"Yes Master, I'm
afraid so, he haunts my dreams, comes to me and he punishes me so badly
Master."
"Tell me, what is
this demons name that gives you so much pleasure in your dreams? You do enjoy
his pain, don't you?"
"Oh yes Sir, I do,
his name is Angelus and he is handsome. I love his eyes, they are so yellow,
they burn through my soul." He ripped her shirt off and took one nipple in
his mouth roughly, biting it hard. She whimpered in pain, thrusting up into his
hips.
He stood up and the whip
came crashing down onto her breast he had just had in his mouth. "YOU WILL
NOT MOVE UNLESS I SAY! Do you understand that slave?"
"Yes Master, I'm sorry,
I couldn't help it. You must forgive my body for doing things my mind cannot
stop."
"You are too
wordy." He struck her upper thighs this time and her arm. "Keep your
responses simple, I've not the time for such words." The slice on her arm
had drawn blood and his tongue drew him to it, as he licked the minimal loss
from her. "Now tell me, what else does this demon do to you?"
"He rides me so
hard, so deep, he makes me so wet, Master."
He slapped her.
"You are NOT to have such dreams of anyone but me!"
"But Mast..."
he punched her this time and she yelped. "Master, permission to
speak?"
"Granted." He
worried about the last blow but he smelled no fear, just her growing desire
pooling between her thighs.
"Master, I only
dream of this demon when I cannot have you."
"Do you want
me?"
"Yes Master, I
do."
"How much?"
"So much it hurts
Master, I need you inside me, please Master."
He crawled upon her
again and leaned over her face. "Unzip me slave." She obeyed hastily,
taking the zipper in her teeth. She then unbuttoned the top and he got off her
and slipped them off.
He was beautiful. There
was no other word to describe him, his body, was beautiful. He was perfect,
every inch of him and he allowed her eyes to caress him. He allowed the visual
assault and she was grateful to him for that. It was a body she loved, a body
that could make her feel things so intense that she couldn't think. These were
the moments she would learn to crave, moments of feelings so intense she could
block out the loneliness and pain of all the forgotten days and horrible
nights. She was tired of his games, she wanted to be on top and take what she
wanted. "Angelus..."
The whip came crashing
down on her stomach and she thrust into it. She had learned to love the pain,
physical or emotional, there was no difference now. "What was that
slave?"
"Please... I don't
want to play anymore, please just let me get up." It crashed upon her
breasts once, twice, a third time.
"Too late, you
wanted this, that's what you get."
"Please..."
she choked back the tears, he was being exceptionally cruel, the violence of
the day must have gotten to him. There was no arguing with him and she wanted
him badly. "I'm sorry Master forgive my weakness."
As much as he was
enjoying himself, he could tell she was close to tears, something was still
wrong with her, though he didn't know what. No, she wanted this and he wouldn't
give her pity. "You want me to fuck you?"
"Yes Master,
please..."
"Beg me and I'll
think about it."
"Please... I need
you so bad, I ache for your body, I crave your touch, I need you to touch me,
to desire me, please..."
He punched her,
"THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU! This is about me! Nothing you want or need matters
right now."
"DAMN IT JUST FUCK
ME!" She growled. He was startled to say the least, it had been a deep
throaty growl, like Dru's had been. He was startled, she was too by the look on
her face and to say that he wasn't turned on would be an understatement.
He mounted her and
rubbed her dripping entrance with his cock before driving himself home with one
hard thrust towards her center. She repeated the growl of earlier as he began a
fast steady rhythm pounding into her.
This was what she
wanted, the waves of pleasure assaulting her senses, taking away any logical thought
as his pace was relentless and steadily driving her towards orgasm. She longed
to touch him, her hands were chained and she couldn't reach out and take what
she wanted. She wanted to run her fingers along his back, rake her nails over
his shoulder blades and on his ass, in order to push him further into her. But
she couldn't.
He felt her muscles
tightening around him and he loved the feeling of her small body underneath him
thrusting upward to meet his hips. He felt his own pressure building and he
wanted her blood in his mouth. She squeezed harder and his demon came out to
play. He leaned down to her upper arm and bite down as he continued pounding
into her. He drank some and moved to her cheek and she screamed at the
penetration there. He licked the wound and moved down to her neck and finally
got the rush he craved from her as they came together. He lay on top of her and
listened to her heart calming itself.
He was hurting her. She
looked over to where her wrists were cuffed and he pushed her down, stretching
her wrist away from the cuff and it was cutting her, she felt blood dripping
down her arms. "Angelus... get off me, you're cutting my wrists." He
got up immediately and unlocked them. She had similar marks on her ankles. He
threw his pants on and went toward the door. "Where are you going?"
She asked him.
"I still have
business downstairs. It won't take me long, unless you'd like to finish
him." He looked at her and she nodded slightly and he left. She went into
the bathroom and got out her mirror and looked at herself. She had several
bruises on her face, plus his bite mark, not to mention all the welts from the
whip. She looked in the mirror before running water over her face and realized
she didn't recognize the person staring back at her.
She walked downstairs in
jeans and her favorite white sweater. She found them with Riley. "Your
timing couldn't be better lover, he's just waking up." He handed her a
knife and she took it from him, not knowing why. She walked over to Riley and
closed her eyes and slashed his face accidentally cutting her other hand in the
process. She looked down and her hands were covered in blood.
*************
"You killed a man."
"I don't care."
*************
"What the hell am I
doing?" She asked aloud as the tears began falling down her cheeks. She
wiped her hands on her sweater and she fell to the floor crying, screaming,
hitting herself. Her hands got caught in her golden hair and she was pulling on
it. Angelus ran to her.
"BUFFY! STOP THIS!
STOP!" He grabbed her hands.
"NO! I KILLED HIM,
YOU LET ME KILL HIM! HOW COULD YOU? YOU MONSTER! YOU BASTARD! YOU LET ME KILL
HIM! I KILLED HIM! DAMN YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS! DAMN YOU!" She began
hitting him as well as the tears continued falling from her eyes.
"Buffy, he's still
alive, he's not dead, you didn't kill anyone."
"I KILLED HIM! I
DID THIS! IT'S MY FAULT!" She laid down on the floor hitting it and
screaming, pulling at her hair, pulling at her own skin. He had done this. She
was wrong, it was his fault. "I NEED HIM! I NEED HIM BACK! PLEASE...
PLEASE... I KILLED HIM... I NEED HIM... I LOVE HIM..." She continued
screaming for an hour, over and over.
"Buffy, who do you
need? Buffy! Who?" He asked but he already knew the answer and she was
oblivious to him.
"I NEED HIM!
PLEASE... BRING HIM BACK... I LOVE HIM... " She cried. She looked up
toward the ceiling and screamed, bellowing, screeching at the top of her lungs,
"ANGEL! ANGEL!"
*************
"You still my girl?"
"Always."
"I love you, I try not to but I can't help it."
"Me too."
"After the Ascension, if we survive I'll go."
"I'll never forget. I'll never forget."
"Buffy... what's going on? God, I feel like I haven't seen you
in months."
*************
He had sat for hours. He
had taken her upstairs after she had gone silent. Her eyes had glazed over she
just laid in a heap on the floor broken and bruised, she had no more tears to
cry. He did this. This was his fault. Why did he care? He shouldn't. By all
rights, he shouldn't, but he did. It was wrong and unnatural and stupid on his
part to ever have gotten involved with a mortal, especially a slayer.
Spike had taken Riley to
the hospital. All of a sudden revenge didn't seem that important. He couldn't
explain it, but it had seemed right. Buffy was losing her mind. This was what
he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted her broken so he could continue her training,
so he could turn her. That's what his purpose had been from the start, but
somewhere in the midst of all of it, he had fallen in love, which he never
thought possible. He was Angelus, the Scourge of Europe, the worst vampire
known, a vampire even the most feared demons had respected and been scared of.
And here he was, waiting for the silence of the beast.
He sat at the table with
pen in hand. He had things he wanted to tell her, things that she should know
from him, before he ended it. He closed his eyes and the images of her poor
battered body flashed before them and he opened them up.
Dearest Buffy-
I couldn't
possible explain what I am doing, as I don't understand it and perhaps I
shouldn't dissect it too much. Know that I wanted to hurt you; perhaps because
of the feelings you created in my rather empty heart. I never meant to hurt
you, I simply wanted to, but I have, more than I thought I could, I fear. So
know that when it comes to you Buffy and love for you, Angel and I are one in
the same. Be happy and know I am sorry for what it is worth.
Eternally Yours,
Angelus
He put the letter in an
envelope and wrote her name on, hoping she would get it. And he sat and waited
for the end.
She laid there and the
realization that it wasn't meant to be set in, at last. Her Angel had come and
gone three times and was lost to her forever. She knew her eyes were opened,
but she couldn't see with them. She thought of the past few years and of the
times she was truly happy. They were few and far between, but they had happened
and they were with Angel and now he was gone. She did love his twin, she loved
Angelus, it was sick and twisted but she did. He never lied to her, he never
claimed to be doing what was best and he took the loneliness away.
His glances, his words
of love and devotion were always empty.
She thought of his caresses which were always so cold, she doubted if he
could even feel love, obsession perhaps, but love? She doubted it but where was
she to go now? She had nothing, no one, only herself and Angelus. She could
learn to live with him, she could learn to accept him, she almost already did.
But it would never be the same again.
Her eyes began to focus
as her mind got less clouded by sadness and she found herself staring into his
chocolate brown eyes. "Angelus..."
"No Buffy, it's
not."
He looked at her, bruised
and hurting and he didn't want the same hands that had done this to her, make
her better, but what other choice did he have? She needed help. He knew that.
She had been hurt badly.
He watched as her eyes
began to focus. He finally felt that connection between them as they locked and
she started crying again and he pulled her close and held her. He loved her so
much and he was appalled by what he had done to her. He had no words to tell
her what he was feeling, his own shame and anger at himself, at the hands that
had once shown a virgin her own pleasure, those same hands had held her down
while he raped her. He cringed at the thought of the worst crimes of all.
She cried into his
shirt, it was her Angel, by some miracle he had come back to her! He held her
in silence. They had no words to speak. They had nothing to say that hadn't
been said. Nothing to say that didn't hang in the air around them. Nothing to
say that wasn't felt through a touch or a simple sigh.
He listened as she
sobbed into his shirt, tears for what she had done, for the memories she would
have to live with. He knew those tears well. He cried with her for all his
hands had done, all the pain he had caused her. He listened to the silence
within himself. For some reason, the demon wasn't screaming it's usual cries
for blood. It was quiet, silent, peaceful, almost content to be locked away
once more. He held her and listened to the silence that seemed to expand
forever.
//You don't need to say a word
To tell me all I need to hear
I can tell by the look in your eyes
When you are near
Distance stands between us
But only time is on the way
So don't stand and ponder over
The words you need not say
Silence... speaks louder than words
Words can't say enough
Silence... speaks louder than words
Words can't say enough (about you)
You don't need to say a word
To show me all I need to see
I can tell by the smile on your face
Smiling at me
Standing at the crossroads
Which way should we go
We've come so far now
Not to let each other go
Silence... speaks louder than words
Words can't say enough
Silence... speaks louder than words
Words can't say enough (about you)
I've seen the colors turn to gray
I've heard your promises would never fray
Now I'm lost for words
No more to say
I'll never go away
Silence... speaks louder than words
Words can't say enough
Silence... speaks louder than words
Words can't say enough (about you)//
~El Fin~
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