AUTHORS: dru as Spike & Evil Willow as Xander (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Chance Encounters
SEQUEL TO: Chance Encounters
Version Spike-Xander
PAIRING : Spike/Xander
RATING : NC17 (highly slashy with plenty of salty goodness!)
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters. We just like putting them in lewd positions!
NOTE: We wrote this as role-play
on Yahoo! IM! We had *so* much fun! We've co-authored before but never live like this! We hope you enjoy the fruits of
our lab- okay, so it wasn't really *work*. It was more like play!
DEDICATION: This fic is for
Vicky and her husband who apparently love us for the first one!
=====================================================================
THE KINDRED
Okay,
now I'm a little afraid. But I'm in agony, here. And I *could* just stop the
game, keeping anything else humiliating from happening. But I don't want to do
that. I want Spike, and yes, that's another really scary thing. But I can't
deny it. I want to be his, partially because I like the idea of belonging to
someone. And partially because I like the idea of belonging to *him.*
So, I have no idea what he's going to ask, but it doesn't
matter. "Anything."
I slice my wrist and hold it up in front of him.
"Drink."
And I really wasn't expecting *that*. I was thinking,
'break up with Anya.' Or... 'Go tell everyone you want me'. Or... well,
something, other than this. Besides the fact I'm not even sure what 'this' is.
"Can I ask why?" I wonder, biting my lip nervously.
"You wanna come." I say with an evil grin.
Shit.
This is... freaky. Really. Because I have a feeling it's some vampire ritual
and I really shouldn't just do this without knowing what I'm getting into. But
then again, I shouldn't have done *any* of this. So I'm in a little too deep to
start objecting now.
Shut
up, little voice that's accusing me of being an idiot.
It's just blood,
it's not like I'm going to turn into a vampire. He hasn't killed me.. yet, so
it's not possible. I grab his wrist and
lick at the wound, hesitantly. I look up at him, wondering if that's enough to
satisfy him.
Oh
shit... he's fucking... I watch his tongue slip out and tentatively lap at the
wound. Holy shit... HE'S MINE!
I start stroking my cock with my other hand and watch
eagerly, anticipating when he'll lock his mouth around me... longing for his
suction on my wrist.
Okay,
apparently not enough. But I can do this. It's just blood. Evil, undead,
vampire blood but still just blood. It's not making me sick, or anything. So
maybe just a little more? He really wants this, for some reason. A reason I
don't want to contemplate.
I pull his arm closer and close my mouth around the wound.
I watch as he strokes himself and it doesn't surprise me he's getting off on
this. But I realize now why it's erotic to drink blood. I mean, I now have a
little of Spike inside me, just like he has me in him. I like that thought.
"Fuck."
I whimper as his mouth draws more of me out of my skin and into his body. I
watch as he suckles the wound and feel him swallow... "Xander..." I
groan as I stroke myself faster.
My body
screams to me when it's enough, just before it's too much. I tear my wrist away
and pull him towards me and kiss him, tasting myself in his mouth. My essence.
My life. And he willingly took it...
I start
thrusting against his cock as I dive towards his neck and growl loudly before I
bite his scar again.
I can
taste myself in his blood now. All of me. His blood calls me, as my own.
Kindred.
Oh god. He's drinking me again and it takes every last bit
of sanity I have not to come. Not until I know I can.
"SpikepleasecanIcomeIneedtocomepleasefuckIwanttocome." Yes, I said
that all in one breath.
And now,
it's not even under his control. His body is calling for completion and I
cannot deny kindred.
"Bloodyhellyes..." I scream as I start to cover him
in my come.
"SPIIIIIIIIKE!" I scream, as I come hard, shaking
and gasping for breath. It's the most intense orgasm I've had yet, and he wraps
his arms around my waist and pulls me close as possible as he kisses me,
possessively.
CHRIST!
That was... bloody magnificent.
I pull him as close as possible as we relax and I pull the
blanket over us.
Oh.
My. God. My body's still trembling from the aftershocks of that orgasm. That
was.... There just are no words.
I'm still trying to catch my breath when I say, "So,
can I ask why, now?"
I kiss the top of his head and answer, "Already told
you, you wanted to come. You said anything."
I move up a little so that we're face to face, still lying
on our sides, wrapped around each other. "That's not what I meant."
And I wonder why I bother, since I *know* he knew that wasn't what I meant.
"I really need to know what just happened, Spike. Please?"
There's
a fine line between being evil and being annoying.
Unfortunately
for him, I don't know of such a line.
"When two people really like each other and are adult
enough... see there's these birds and... bees... and two males... an-" I'm
*so* glad I never had a son.
"Ha ha ha." I mutter. "That's not what I was
talking about." And now he's irritating me. And I'm completely unfazed by
that fact.
"You're mine." I shrug. "Officially and
forever."
"Oh."
Yeah,
that's me, a guy of profound thoughts.
"So ... you... claimed me?" Duh, Xan.
"More than that, Pet. I made you mine."
"Oh."
Again, with the intelligent responses. No wonder everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Including me most of the time.
I move
closer and tuck my head under his chin, feeling his cool chest against my
cheek. And I'm really trying to think of something to say to him. Because...
this is... I mean. Really. No one before Spike has ever wanted me, not for more
than a few months before getting bored with me.
But he said... forever. And I think he's serious. No, I
*know* he's serious. Even though I still have a lot of questions. "How
exactly did you make me yours?" I ask.
"You submitted to me willingly. Then you drank me,
taking me into your body willingly. *You* made yourself mine."
I stop
myself short of saying 'Oh,' again. Because he really hasn't explained
anything, yet. I shift to look into his eyes. "Spike, I get all
that," I reply. "I just don't understand the other stuff. Like why
and how and well, anything, really. And I know to you this is all probably very
obvious. But not to me.
"And I'm not objecting to any of it. If I had any
doubts, I wouldn't have drunk from you. I didn't, though. Because I can deal
with submitting to you. I like the idea of being yours," I admit. "I
just want to understand how the 'being yours' stuff happened and what it means.
Would you please explain it to me?" I ask.
I sigh
and nod. I trace the wounds on his neck before speaking, "Vampires take
humans and claim them, much like Dracula does with the thrall thing he does in
the movies. But it's a much stronger bond when it's willing.
"Like
with you. How it works is that you submit and let me claim you, like I did when
I came, when I was inside you. But to make it permanent, you have to have me
inside you. And now you do. You're kindred now, part of the clan, claimed as
part of the Order of Aurelius. As mine. And since it's willing, no one can
question it. You're mine and my claim over you rushes through your veins as we
speak.
"What
it means is that any vampire knows that you're claimed and it's undeniable.
They take you, they take me on and as you could probably guess, vamps get nasty
when someone steals their claims. And my reputation precedes me quite well.
"As for the why... because I want you for my own,
forever."
"Oh."
Shit, I gotta stop *doing* that. He smiles, but it's not a 'what an idiot'
smile. It's just a smile. That's a relief. And kind of nice, too. I like his
smile.
God, I'm really in deep. Too deep, I think. Because sure,
he says forever, now. But how could anyone, possibly, want me *forever*?
I pull him close to me again and rest my head on the top of
his. "After all, what's the point in eternity without incredible great
shagging to look forward to? And think of all the fun we'll have."
THE CONFESSION
Fun.
Yeah. Because that's what we're doing here. Having fun. And that's fine.
Really. It's...
Oh hold on. Stop the train, I think I want to get off now.
Eternity? Duh, Xan. The 'forever' comment should have clued you in. "You
want to turn me." Never let it be said I'm not a master of stating the
obvious.
"Well, yeah." I answer. I thought that was
understood in the 'forever' and 'mine' deal.
"But... you... I... the chip." Since my brain is
running faster than I can keep up, that's about as coherent as it gets at the
moment.
"I didn't say it wouldn't be hard." And I find it
amusing how he didn't automatically say no. The *how* was the first on his
mind, not the *no*.
Okay,
this is... this is when I should run screaming from the vampire. Right? Right.
So why am I not moving? Possibly because I want him. And I think I might need
him, too. Shit.
"But... I don't want to be a vampire," I say.
Now, to my ears, that *sounded* like a lie. I wonder if it sounded that way to
him? But it wasn't a lie. No, I definitely don't want to be a vampire. I don't
want to spend eternity as Spike's. So there's nothing to worry about. Because
he can't turn me if I don't want him to.
"But... you drank. You promised. You called me
Master." I say in (gasp) hurt.
I move
to look in his eyes and yeah, I actually upset him. Well fuck. Now I feel bad.
And I'm starting to think I've slipped into the Twilight Zone, because this is
a little (no, a LOT) weird. Which part? All of it. All freaking night. I guess
I don't want it not to be real, though. But that doesn't stop me from feeling
like this is so incredibly bizarre.
"I
did, and I meant it," I say slowly. "But I'm also... torn, Spike. I
*like* being alive. I know I'm not very useful... " (waste of space, I've
been called) "but I'd like to think that Buffy, Willow, and Giles would be
a little upset if I became one of the evil undead."
I
pause a moment as I realize I didn't even mention Anya. But I guess I've
realized tonight that I don't love her. And she's going to be searching for a
way to return to her Vengeance Demon life when she finds that out. So, no.
Anya's not part of this whole scenario.
"And
then there's... you." I take a few seconds to gather my scattered
thoughts. "I want you. I really like being yours. But I really don't know
if I want the literal 'forever.'"
I see the hurt on his face and I don't want to be the cause
of it. I have to be honest. "No, actually, that's not true," I admit.
"I think I do want that. What I'm ... afraid of is that you won't.
Because, well, I'm not very useful, like I said. And that wouldn't change if I
were a vampire." I roll onto my back and sigh. I really hate that I'm so
pathetic some times. Because that whole ramble was such a mood-killer.
I smirk and roll on top of him before running my hands up his
body. "I think you'd make a bloody wonderful vampire, Luv." I say
before kissing him lightly. "And for the record, I've been in one of those
all eternity relationships and look how it turned out? Do you honestly think
I'd jump into one, with a friend of the slayer's no less, if I wasn't
absolutely sure it *was* forever?"
Oh.
My. God. And yes, I know, I'm repeating myself.
"Relationship?"
Why, oh, why, does my mouth *DO* that?! I just now realized he used that word,
but I wasn't going to call him on it. Not yet. I mean, it's just a word that
people throw around. That's probably what he's doing, too. So now he's just
going to think I'm really needy. Which I am, but he didn't need to be so aware
of it.
This is just sex. That was the deal, right? The whole
claiming thing, I'm his. But he's been really clear about it being sex. He owns
me, blah blah blah. And I'm *okay* with that. Really.
"What? You think Dru was so spectacular in the sack that
I stayed with her for a century? Sex is good, Luv, but it's not what sustains.
I loved Dru, that's why I stayed with her and wanted her with me. And on some
sick level, I loved Angelus and his cretin of a sire as well, but we'll talk about
that much later."
Okay,
that answer managed to create more questions than it answered. "Are you
saying you..." That's right. Shut up. Don't press the issue, Xan. It
doesn't matter. Besides the fact, I don't really want to know the answer. Not
when I don't love him. Because I don't. Just because I don't love Anya, that
doesn't mean I love Spike. Because... ew. That's a little *too* weird.
Like everything else tonight wasn't? Shut up.
"Do you?" I ask.
Oh
fuck. That's what happens when I open my big mouth without thinking it through.
Okay. Just... well, breathing is of the good, first.
That's
better. Oxygen has to get to the brain, in order to think clearly. Except now I
gotta answer him. Shit. HOW do I answer him?!
I
guess the truth would be preferable. But... I don't really know what the truth
is. This whole thing, it's all gone so fucking *fast*. Even though I don't
regret any of it, but it's still scary.
Okay.
I have to say something. And I remember hearing that the best way to answer a
difficult question is just to answer immediately, without over-analyzing the
possibilities. So I guess I should do that. The answer that pops into my mind
when I contemplate whether or not I love him is:
"I think I might." It's the truth. I don't know
how long I've been thinking this way about him, but I think it's been a while.
So now he knows. But I can't look at him. I'm sure this is the point where he
laughs at me and I find out this was all a big joke.
Why the
hell do I get myself into these situations?
'Spike,
you love that tunnel more than me.' 'Spike, you taste like ashes' 'Spike, do it
for princess.' 'Spike, do it for mommy.' 'Spike, tell Miss Edith you love her.
Do you love me just the same?' 'I don't know why I let you hurt me.' 'WILLIAM!
GET DOWN HERE!' 'Will... tell me! I'm your master!'
And now
this?
With
him?
Seems to
me love has gotten me into some pretty nasty binds, starting with my Mum, with
Dru, Angelus, and Darla somewhere in the middle, ending with Harmony and this
soddin' chip. Love is for sissies who don't know how to jack off.
Oh
bloody hell!
Love has
never done me any good 'cept get me a few nasty bruises. And I don't need to
lose any more skin, teeth, blood or tears over another timeless cheat who'll
dump me as soon as they're bored.
No. Not
for Spike.
I.
Don't. Love.
I gave
up on it the fuckin' second Dru kicked my ass to the curb. The first time.
Then, I
thought there might be hope. I found her, whipped the shit out of her for her
insolence and betrayal and what the hell do I get in my bed? A FUNGUS DEMON!
No. Love isn't for me. Don't need it again. Certainly don't need another Harm
following me like a sick puppy with fangs.
Absolutely not. I do not, nor will I ever, love Xander
Harris. NEVER!
He's not saying anything. And I
have the sinking feeling this was one of those times I should have lied.
Because I don't know, not for sure, how I feel about him... At least, that's
what I'm telling myself. So if I've fucked everything up, I'll never forgive
myself. I don't *need* him to love me, anyway, I just need *him*. "I know
you don't... it doesn't matter. I don't expect that. Like you said, we can have
fun together. That's good enough for me." Liar.
He's
MINE! MINE to throw away or use whenever I please, mine to turn when I feel.
Mine to fuck how I feel. MINE.
Love
will never have a place in our blood.
So I turn towards him to tell him this. I'm gonna tell him a
little bit about vampires who love. THEY HAVE SOULS! AND I DON'T!
I turn
to tell him to jerk off on his own if he thinks I actually *love* him. I turn
to tell him that Spike doesn't love. I don't believe in it anymore. It doesn't
mean bollocks. That's what I'm gonna tell him. You're mine to fuck and possess
and drink from and chain up and that's all you'll ever be to me, Xander.
Yeah...
So I
open my mouth.
"I
do too."
Oh bloody hell!
Oh.
My. God.
Spike...?
I.... ? He... When? How? Really? This is... OH. MY. GOD.
Coherent
sentences... gone. Nothing. Babbling I am. Not verbally...of the good. Shit.
Breathing necessary still.
Okay,
Xan, calm down. It's not that big of a deal. Just because Spike... I....We...
Okay, so it's a very big deal. But fucking SAY SOMETHING!
I open
my mouth a few times to do that, but nothing comes out. Possibly for the FIRST
time ever, I have no quick response. Nothing witty, even. I am living out the
definition of the word 'dumbfounded', at the moment.
All
right, so my brain's useless. It's not the first time. But I have to make him
understand what this means. I *was* lying when I said just sex was enough. It
isn't. I was getting tired of being with people who act like they don't really
want me around. Or only want me around for sex. So this is...
He gets this hurt look on his face and tries to roll off
me. Oh, no. This is why losing the ability to speak is bad. I wrap my arms
around his waist, and kiss him, desperately. Hopefully this is one way to get
across what words won't help me express.
Okay.
Fine. So I love the toff. No need to make a big production out of it or
anything. SO I love him, whatever. I know what it's like to be with someone who
doesn't care. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and he's already had it, so no
need to give him an eternity of it to look forward to. 'Sides, you always love
your possessions.
I just
love him. Like you love your microwave. 'Snot like I'm in love with the git or
anything. Not like I thought of him every night before I went to bed since that
night. 'Snot like I found brunette teens to fuck cause they reminded me of him.
Not like I wasn't ecstatic when I read that the gem was buried in the town
where he lives.
Oh fuck
me. I might be in love with the git.
And after
feeling his cum in my hand, I'm having trouble remembering why that's a bad
idea.
But he
wasn't saying anything and I guess I was kinda hoping he would say *something*
after I-
Oh fuck,
he's kissing me.
And I'm
kissing him back. And it feels pretty fuckin' good.
Yeah, I could definitely live with this forever...
Oh
good. He's kissing me back. I'll have to remember that tactic for the next time
my brain goes into meltdown. Which I'm sure will happen, because he's just got
that effect on me.
He
pulls away when he knows I need to breathe and there's that smile again. It
makes me smile. He rolls us over again so we're on our sides, facing each
other. And it finally hits me that I am *so* tired. I don't know what time it
is, but I don't want to know. That'll just irritate me, because I think it's
pretty late. And I have to work in the morning. Ugh.
But I'm not complaining. This was a pretty... well,
strange... but nice way to end the evening. Certainly wasn't what I expected,
and for once that's not a bad thing. "So what happens now?" I wonder.
That's Xander-speak for: 'When are you going to turn me?' and 'When do I break
up with Anya?' and 'Do we tell the gang about us...' And... well, pretty much
every other question you could think of.
"Well,
since I *am* evil, I tell you that I'll kick your ass if anything I told you
here tonight gets out."
I pull
him against me and make sure he's covered cause he *doesn't* need pneumonia.
It's not pleasant.
"Then,"
I say as I rub his back a little (cause oh yeah, I'm over my heals for him),
"I kiss you and tell to relax, and that nothin's gonna change unless you
want it to, and *when* you want it to. I've got eternity, I can wait a few
years.
"Then,
we just lay back and realize it's gonna be a bitch to hide all those bite marks
from your friends until I can get this chip out. And I tell you that I'll get
you out of this house when you say the word. And that you will *never* feel his
fist again.
"And
then... you sleep and we'll deal with everything else another day, just not
tonight. Just sleep, Luv. And know you're safe."
Safe?
What *is* that?
Oh is
that what this is? Is that why I haven't worried about Dad coming down for
another round of drunken hitting, for several hours?
If
that's part of what it is to be safe, I really like it. I could seriously get
used to it.
Except safe is hard when I'm still under this roof.
Especially when Spike's still chipped. "I don't want to live here anymore,
Spike." I say. "Maybe we can find somewhere to live... together? And
I don't care if the gang figures out what's going on between us. I won't let
them go after you."
Okay,
we'll have the serious 'I'm a master vampire who you should never embarrass,
public or privately' talk tomorrow cause he doesn't know how hard it is to have
this bloody chip and worry about humans hurting me. It's been more than a
century that I've been worried about that...
But we'll worry about that tomorrow. There's always tomorrow.
"Okay, Luv. We'll look. Tomorrow. For now, Pet, just sleep. I took more
blood than I should've, but..." I smile and kiss his forehead,
"You're such a nummy treat..."
I'm
glad he can't see the really goofy grin on my face at the moment. "And
don't you forget it," I mumble against his chest, kissing it lightly.
And if
anyone had ever told me, even a week ago, that I'd be *with* Spike, having
freaky feelings about him and wanting to spend forever with him, I would have
run to Giles and had him research future weird Hellmouthy goings-on.
But
now... it doesn't seem all that weird. I feel like I belong, really belong,
with someone. And I have been waiting for that feeling all my life. So what if
that someone is a vampire? Life on the Hellmouth isn't normal, and I've learned
to take the good stuff when it comes. This -being with Spike - is some of that
good stuff. And he's proven that he won't hurt me. He wants me, loves me. And I
... yeah. I love him.
And for the first night ever that I've lived in this house,
I think I'll sleep soundly. Because I know without a doubt, that as long as
he's around, I'm safe. With that thought, I press closer to him and let myself
relax.
He
relaxes against me and I smile. I've got the only thing that's ever been
exclusively mine. He's in love with me. I love him. And he wants to be with me
forever. It won't happen over night, but it'll happen. And I can wait. I think
he's worth it, even if it's the sex alone and we had nothing in common.
But we have a lot in common and when I think he's asleep, I
whisper, "I love you, Xander." And for now, that's good enough.
I know, he thought I was asleep. And I was, almost. But I'm
glad I got to hear him say those words. I contemplate replying but finally
figure, oh what the hell. "Love you too, Spike." It wasn't said too
loudly, but luckily he's got the vampire hearing.
Bloody
hell.
"Yeah,
fine, whatever." I whisper, "And if you tell anyone I *will* kick
your ass... I'll have you in chains so long you'll forget what day it is. I'll
make you go a week without coming, even if you beg and then I'll make you wait
some more an-"
I look
down and he's sleeping soundly with a smile on his face. Yeah, smile now, ya
ponce; but tomorrow, it's the chains for you. And I laugh a bit at the thought
of him chained to the bed while I ravish him.
Yeah, SunnyD ain't so bad after all. Who'd have thought?
~El Fin~
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