SERIES : the
Babe
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel
RATING THESE PARTS : PG14
OVERALL RATING : PG, R, & NC17
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
=====================================================================
PART 5 (PG14 - Memories)
Dreams
plagued her mind that night while she slept. Flashes of horrible wonderful
things, her time with Angel, like there was something she didn’t know. She saw
them making love in his apartment on her birthday and she saw his eyes as he
went hell. Images and pictures of his eyes, so cold and them fighting, and from
when he came back. She watched as he walked out of her life after the ascension
and him walking toward her at the Prom. Still there was something she couldn’t
put her finger on, the images were so jumbled in her mind, flashing between
good and bad, past and present, fantasy and reality. At one time she saw them
making love on his table and she watched it break. She woke suddenly.
“ANGEL?!”
He
heard her scream and ran into the bedroom. He looked at her stomach, his child
was inside her, his child almost died. He had to convince her to keep the child
until he could tell her. “I’m right here. Shh... I’m right here.” He sat down
and held her in his arms, she was the weakest he had seen her and it worried
him, it wasn’t good for the baby. “Buffy, you should have some food, I sent
Cordelia shopping, she’ll be back soon and I’ll make you something.”
“You?
Cook?”
“Yea,
I know how to cook, is it so hard to imagine?”
“Yes,
you do realize I won’t drink nuked blood, yes?”
“Duh...”
She backed away from him and sat up. “Did you have a bad dream?”
“Not
all bad, not all good, it was a dream, that’s all it was, a dream...”
“If
there’s something important about it...”
“It’s
just a dream, I’ve had them before, I’ll have them again, no big. Mind if I
take a shower? Although I don’t have clothes, I wasn’t planning on being
here...”
“You
can take some of mine, you’ll look funny, but I’ll ask Cordelia to bring some
or pick some up, I have a bathrobe in there you can use and there are towels
too.”
“Okay,
I assume you don’t happen to have a mirror somewhere to do my hair? Do you?”
“Cordelia
uses the windows in the office.”
“Right,
didn’t think so.”
“Why
do girls worry about their hair anyway? It’s fine, it always looks fine.”
“That’s
because I spend 20 minutes in front of a mirror before going out.”
“Oh.”
He watched her walk into the bathroom and Cordelia walked in.
“Hey
boss! I brought food and I brought some clothes, I wasn’t sure...”
“You’re
the best Cordy.”
“I
know. How is she? What’d they tell you?”
“The
baby’s mine Cordelia, what do I do? She doesn’t remember, she doesn’t know and
would she even believe me? I have to keep that baby alive, but how?”
“Wow!
You’re going to be a daddy, well I guess you’ll outlive your kid though, that’s
kind of cool... huh? Course how will he explain that to his wife? ‘My dad’s 350
honey!’“
“I’m
not that old Cordelia.”
“Yeah
but by the time your kid is married, you’ll be like 280 or so, then when he’s
like 70, you’ll be like 325 or so... I’m not good with the math but anyway, I’m
gonna go up and answer all those phone calls we get!”
The
water washed over her and she let it fall. She imagine Angel covered in water
next to her, his expert hands covering her body, touching her in a way only he
could... she pictured them in the shower, moving together, kissing, touching,
she saw them washing each other between kisses and she heard something. She
closed her eyes and watched the pictures in her mind and heard ‘thump thump
thump thump’, her eyes jolted open.
PART 6 (PG14 - Confrontations)
“Here’s
that information you wanted Mr. Smith.”
“Wonderful!”
“I
hope it’s satisfactory and we at Wolfram and Hart look forward to working with
you in the future. Now about that payment we agreed upon...”
“Who
are you again?”
“MacDonald,
Lindsey MacDonald, Mr. Wolfram and Mr. Hart’s silent partner.”
“Good,
if you’re silent, they won’t miss you.” He grabbed him while vamping and bit
down into his neck and inhaled his life. He had almost everything he needed
now. This would be better than ever.
She
got out of the shower and smelled bacon, it made her nauseous. She looked
around for the bathrobe but it wasn’t there. She smiled and wrapped the towel
around her body and walked out.
He
hoped she was almost done, breakfast was almost done. He heard her behind him
and turned around and she was half naked, covered only by a towel. He
remembered when they had been in the shower together and smiled at the memory.
“I
couldn’t find the robe.”
“It
wasn’t in...” she walked over and the towel slipped down a little, “in the...
on the hook?”
“Apparently
not. Maybe it’s lost.”
“Let
me go find it for you.”
“I’m
fine. Not too cold, not yet anyway.” He started for the bedroom and she was in
his way and wouldn’t let him leave the kitchen, she was so close to him, the
smell of her sweet skin hit his nostrils and he inhaled an unnecessary breath.
“No,
I’ll get it for you, and Cordy brought clothes over for you anyway, so...”
“So...
do you want me to put clothes on? Cause I don’t have to, and I don’t want to.”
She said as she slipped her hand up behind his head and ran her fingers through
his hair. Her finger trailed down his jaw bone and over his lips.
“Buffy,
what’s going on here?”
“What?
I haven’t seen you in a while, I missed you and all of sudden something’s going
on?”
“What
are you playing at here Buffy? You come out here, looking like this,
practically naked and putting your hands on me... what do you want?”
“I
want you to make me forget about what’s inside me for a few minutes. I want you
to pretend for five minutes that you can’t take your hands off me, is that so
wrong?”
“You
know it is and you know why.” He backed away from her. “I made you breakfast.”
She
shot him an angry look and brushed passed him, “See now why I hate you?” She
sat at the table with as big a thump as she could and looked at the floor.
“Fine,
have it your way Buffy, I want to help not hurt.”
“You
always want to do that but you know what? It never works you always end up
hurting me more. Why does everyone want to make my decisions for me? First my
mom, then the council? Of all the people in my life Angel, you said you would
protect me and love me, you said you wouldn’t let anything happen to me. YOU
LIED! You said you’d never leave and YOU LIED! YOU’RE A LIAR! You’re worse than
Angelus and I hate you.”
He
turned around and left to find his robe.
She
had hurt him, she was glad, it made her feel good inside, feeling anything was
better than feeling so empty inside. She was dying inside, even before the news
of the baby, she was dying, he was killing her slowly. It was his fault,
everything. She never wanted to see him again. That wasn’t true, it’d be too
easy if it was. Maybe part of her wanted him to find her, to hold her and
comfort her. Maybe she wanted him to lose his soul again, so he would kill her
and it would be over. That wasn’t true either. She was hurting and she took it
out on him. She went into the bedroom where he was sitting on the bed crying.
He looked so helpless, lost, alone, she could relate.
“Angel...
the things I said, I didn’t mean them.”
“That’s
just the thing Buffy, you did. You meant every word.” He looked up at her and
she walked over and sat down next to him. “And I don’t blame you.”
“I
could never hate you Angel, even when you were him, it was hard. Angel, I don’t
know what’s happening to me, sometimes I wish we could go back and do things
over and never have made love to you, so you wouldn’t feel you had to leave, so
everything would be different. Then I wish that we could just be normal people,
and forget about the demons and the Hellmouth, but that can’t be. It’s not
fair, one person to fall in love with your whole life and I can’t be with that
person. It’s not fair, it makes me mad, no it makes me dead Angel. I’m as dead
inside as you are, it kills me, being apart Angel, even before the baby, Angel,
I’ve been dead since you left, a little more everyday.”
“Buffy
it kills me too, but what can we do? There’s nothing we can do. It wasn’t meant
to be, if it was, it would be, but it’s not and you should have something
resembling a normal life. You’ll always be the Slayer, but...”
“Angel
I’m a big girl, I’m not some high school teenager who has a crush, I can make
my own choices, shouldn’t who I want to spend my life with be up to me to pick?
You said you didn’t want to spend your life with me, did you mean it?”
“Buffy,
you should ha...”
“I
don’t what to know you think *I* should have, I want to know what *you* want
Angel. Just tell me, do you want to be with me?”
“Buffy,
we can’t, why throw around the hypotheticals when it’s not possible.”
“What
if your soul was permanent? We could do research, I’ll go to Rumania if I have
to, I’ll learn Rumanian and I’ll research and track down every last person of
the Kalderash people if I need to...”
“Buffy,
I killed them all, don’t you get that? I brutally murdered Jenny and her Uncle,
there’s no one left.”
“No,
I can’t believe that, someone somewhere knows something... we just have to find
that person.”
“Buffy,
I’d still be a vampire and you’d still be the Slayer, you think I haven’t
thought about it? I have every second of every day I sit cooped up in the
darkness, but it wouldn’t change things... we’re from different times,
different worlds and it’s not meant to be.”
“You
avoided the question, awfully stealthy of you, but I know you avoided it,
answer it, what do you want?”
He
turned and looked into her eyes. Her eyes were so loving and warm, her body
was, her everything, that’s what he wanted. She put her hand on his knee and he
looked down and remembered she had the towel on. Her neck bore his mark, she
was his, forever.
“I
want you to get some clothes on and some food.” He went to stand up, but she
caught his arm and pulled him back down next to her.
“If
I have to tie you up I will, so just save me the trouble and tell me, what do
you want?”
“I
want to take that towel off you and make mad passionate love to you until forever.
I want to touch you and listen to every little detail about your day and I want
to fall asleep with you at night. I want to wake up with you in the morning and
know we have a hundred more coming. I want you Buffy, I want you with
everything that I am, but want is not the same as possible.” She took his hand
and placed it on her shoulder and rested her head on it, kissing his knuckles
lightly.
“Angel,
there are ways we can be together, let’s look into it.”
“Buffy,
you deserv...” She took his hand and threw him down on the bed and climbed over
him, straddling him and she sat up. She was so close... he wanted to forget
about the curse and just take her and be done with it. Willpower was something
he did not have much of when it came to her, especially remembering how good it
had been at Thanksgiving.
“I
know, I deserve a normal guy who can love me and take me into the daylight, but
you know what Angel, that’s a crock. I had a picnic with this guy, he’s really
great, nice, kind, funny, human, and he gets the whole slayer thing and we had
a picnic. I don’t like the daylight much anyway Angel, I never have time to tan
anyway, all it’s good for it giving me time off and as for the normal guy
thing, I couldn’t ever have a normal guy. For starters this hypothetical normal
guy would never understand the staying-out-til-after-midnight thing, or the
hanging-out-in-cemetery thing and he would never get the fact that his
girlfriend was stronger than he was. Secondly, I wouldn’t be able to tell him
half the things I feel, or half the things I do,. Not only that but I would
probably have to protect him on a date anyway, so that leads us to semi-normal
guy, I found one, he worked for some government agency that was devamping
vampires but he’s not...” She looked away.
“He’s
not what Buffy?”
“He’s
not you.” She looked down at him and put her hand on his cheek. “He’ll never be
you and it’s not fair to have this image of this perfect guy in your head and
measure every other guy against it. You want me to have a life with someone who
can love me, I get that, but do you want me to settle for second best? Is that
fair? I don’t want to waste my life away in a mediocre relationship. Do you
want me to waste thirty years of my life with someone who I don’t really love?
Someone I can’t really love?”
“No.”
“See?
We are limiting our choices here,” He sat up and she wrapped her legs around
him, “So I’m working on a plan, it’ll
be a good one too. The plan is get rid of the demon spawn child and get to
Rumania, ooo, and I need to pencil in some time in to break up with Riley, I’ve
been meaning to do that.”
“Buffy...”
but she had just gotten up and was already in the kitchen.
PART 7 (PG - the Plan)
He
got up and followed her into the kitchen. “Buffy, that’s not what I meant and
you know it, wanting is different from getting and having.”
“You
know what? I’m not listening to you anymore. I am simply not going to listen so
you might as well save your breath, if you had one... err... you know what I
mean.” She sat at the table and began eating. He sat down across from her and
watched her. Should he just let her believe what she wanted? At least then she
wouldn’t be so sad and maybe he could reason with her about the baby. “What are
you looking at?”
“What
else? There’s nothing else in the room is there?” He smiled.
“I’m
glad to see you’ve come around. Now I’ve got a plan, a good one, not my best,
but I think it’s a good place to start.” She explained with that take-charge
attitude he loved so much.
“And...”
“And
what Angel?”
“And
what is it?”
“What
is what?”
“The
plan.”
“The
plan?”
“Yes
the plan, your plan, what is the plan Buffy?”
“Oh
the plan... right, first we ditch the kid, then we hop in the car and I’ll go
tell Riley it’s over, then we’ll hop on a boat for Rumania. That’s the plan, of
course we’ll have to permanently get rid of evil so they don’t need us while
we’re gone, but really, how long could that take? I figure two months tops?
Maybe one if we’re lucky.”
“Buffy,
you’re amazing, the body of a woman and the plans of a child.”
“Just
don’t forget those first couple parts, the last we can forget about.”
“I
could never forget about the first couple parts, I think about that body all
the time.” She blushed.
He
sat in the room and waited, wondering about possible flaws in the plan but he
couldn’t think of any. Tonight would be an evil night, he could feel it in his
system, in his blood, surging through him like a drug. A drug... a simple
little answer to get back at him, and her. Perfect. After this, he’d go find
his beloved, tie her up and torture her until she took him back. The plan was
flawless. He sat biding his time until the evil moon rose, soon, all would be
well.
“Buffy,
I think we should talk about the baby.”
“What
about it? We don’t even know if that’s what it is? It could be a demon or an
alien, that would be gross.”
“Buffy,
it’s a human.”
“How
do you know?”
“I
just do Buffy, I have to go with my gut on this and this baby is yours and it’s
human.”
“Angel,
that’s impossible, what do you know that you’re not telling me?”
“Nothing,
I just...”
“Angel,
tell me, I know you know something, it’s my body dammit and I have a right to
know what the hell is happening to it, and if you know something you have to
tell me.”
“Buffy,
I can’t.”
“You
know I’m sick of this... ‘Buffy I can’t, I won’t, I’ll go, Buffy bye...’ can’t
you learn any more words?”
“Buffy
I can’t tell you how I know, I just know.”
“Then
who is the father? Who am I going to be suing for custody or child support
because I seem to be severely lacking a guy to do that to. Maybe we should put
out an announcement out on the news, it could be something like, ‘Do you know
this girl? Did you have sex with her around Thanksgiving? If so call
1-800-DID-BUFF’ that would be funny. We could offer a hundred dollar reward for
the lucky DNA match.” She started laughing and then she was crying. “God, do
you have any idea how hard this is?”
“Yes
Buffy, I do.”
“You
couldn’t possibly.”
“Buffy,
I went to see the Oracles again and they said the baby was human, you just have
to accept that and deal, this baby is yours to keep, to love...”
“How
can I do that when I don’t know how it got here Angel?”
“You
just have to believe and accept that, you were meant to have this baby.
Imagine, you have a baby inside you Buffy... right now, a little person.” He
put his hand on her stomach, his child was inside, he wanted to tell her but
that would be devastating for sure, he hated keeping secrets, but how to tell
this one?
“Don’t
touch me.” She stood up. “You still know more than you’re saying and until you
want to fess up I’m going upstairs.” She started walking up and then walked by
the kitchen once more, “I should put some clothes on.”
Upstairs
Cordelia had been busy with Wesley researching. “Wesley, anything yet?”
“No,
but since I don’t know exactly what’s happening...”
“Cause
I can’t tell you... my vision, it’s important, I can’t... just keep reading,
anything having to do with the Orb thingy or gypsy people, let me know,
although it’d help if we had a witch here or something.”
“Say
no more, your wish is my command.” Cordelia looked up and smiled.
“Willow!
What are you doing here? And in that outfit?” Willow was dressed in black, her
hair was even black, as well as her nails. “Black doesn’t really match your
personality.”
“I
wanted something different, it’s just wash in color stuff, thought I’d see how
I like it, and I went to the Salvation Army for these clothes, cool huh?”
“Yeah,
sure if you like old used clothes.”
“Well,
Cordelia it’s certainly a long cry from the Gap but I like it. What’s up?”
Cordelia grabbed the wiccan and pulled her into the bathroom and told her about
the vision and the plan.
PART 8 (PG - Accidents & Departures)
“WILLOW!
HEY! What are you doing here?”
“Well,
Angel called and told us where you were and I came...”
“How’d
you get he...” Buffy looked up and her answer was standing in the doorway.
“Nice
of you to let me know you were taking off for LA.”
“Riley...
great, what are you doing here?”
“Saw
Willow packing and I insisted on coming, what’s going on?”
“It’s
long to explain, it’s just... my Dad lives here and I had to see him, that’s
all, and Cordelia’s an old friend, so I’m visiting, catching up.”
“Buffy,
about the baby... you shou..” Angel said as the elevator opened. “ And we have
company... morning everyone... Willow, good look, different... very...
vampire-ish... hello person I don’t know...” he said to Riley.
“I
thought so, what baby?” Willow asked.
“Oh,
a baby... the baby... right it’s a case, a woman had this baby and she thinks
her husband demon guy stole it... I asked Buffy to talk with her, maybe she’d
feel more comfortable with a woman.”
“Gee
boss, nice to know you think I’m a woman, whatever... and who is this hunky
guy?” Cordelia walked over to Riley. “Hi, I’m Cordelia... I’m an actress, you
are?” They shook hands.
“Riley,
Riley Finn, I’m a grad student in psychology.”
“Well,
welcome to Angel Investigations, this is Angel, our resident detective and this
is us leaving...” she grabbed Wesley and Willow and they went into Angel’s
office.
“Riley,
you shouldn’t have come, what about the Initiative?”
“I
took some time off, Buffy, you just left, you didn’t leave a note, nothing, I
was worried. Have you seen your Dad yet? I’d like to meet him.”
“Yea,
yes, yesterday, I saw him yesterday.”
“Good,
then let’s get Willow and go home.”
“Riley,
I can’t go with you right now.”
“Okay,
we’ll wait a couple hours.”
“Not
ever Riley. I can’t go with you ever Riley, it’s over, I’m sorry.”
“Buffy...”
Angel said. “Buffy, what I said earlier about the woman’s baby, and he wanting
to change her husband... I meant it, she can’t change him and they can’t and
shouldn’t be together. He doesn’t want to be with her.”
“Angel,
he doesn’t know what he wants... and I think they shouldn’t give up what they
have. But no matter, it affects nothing I’m doing here, so can you go excuse us
for a few minutes?”
“Yes,
I’ll go.” He went into his office.
“Buffy,
what’s going on? Why all of a sudden... I don’t understand.”
“Riley,
I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant,
is it mine?”
“No,
it’s not, it’s from a couple weeks before we were together.”
“Buffy,
I don’t understand, but this doesn’t change anything, I love you.”
“Riley,
it changes things for me.”
“Well,
are you going to get back with the father?”
“I
don’t know, but I can’t do this and you and slaying, I’m sorry, if things were
different... but they’re not... I’m sorry Riley, I hope day you can look back
and we can be friends.”
“Hey,
look at me, we are friends.” He leaned down and kissed her gently.
“Why
is he touching her?” Angel asked as they all peered through the blinds.
“Well,
he is her boyfriend.” Cordelia said, “And what a fine piece of meat he is...
I’d take some if she didn’t want him...” Angel shot her a look, “Oh, he’s
totally not as good as you, I mean, if you didn’t want Buffy and weren’t all
grrr I’d totally jump on you too, but look at him, he’s so cute...”
“Cordelia?
I don’t think you’re making it any better.” Willow said.
“Why
is he kissing her, she broke up with him. Touching time is finished.”
“Well,
that’s what people do when they break up for good reasons. They say goodbye.”
“Buffy
and I didn’t, I just left.” They all sat with their backs turned away from the
door.
“Yeah,
well that was totally different, I mean what were you going to say, ‘Sorry
Buffy I came into town, lost my soul killed some of your friends, came back
from hell and bit you... thanks for the blood though, it was great, call me?’ I
mean, Angel... different circumstances call for different customs.” Cordelia
said matter-of-factly.
“Cordelia?”
“Yes
Willow?”
“Shut
up. Angel, he’s just saying goodbye, no big and besides she has a lot on her
mind and they were friends before, so maybe she’s just trying to let him down
gentle, and why is she breaking up with him anyway? Things were going so well.”
“Because
she’s pregnant Willow.”
“What?
She’s what? Who’s is it? Why’s she breaking up with him if it’s his?”
“Cause
it’s not his Willow.”
“Angel,
I don’t get it... who’s is it then?”
“Willow,
you can’t tell her but it’s... it’s mine.”
“Well,
fine thing for you to tell me Angel.” He turned around and she was standing
there, she had opened the door so quietly and had been listening. He stood up.
“Buffy...”
she turned and ran out of the office he ran after her, but the sun prevented
him from leaving the building. “DAMN IT!”
On
to the Next Part of the Babe