"Cradle and All" by Ang March 1999 KathJ520@yahoo.com Prologue Kathryn Janeway carefully knitted the pink and blue materials of the blanket with tender patience, smiling to herself as she did so.  A wondrous new life, a blessed child to add to Voyager's growing family, filled her with deep pride and contentment.  This child would be welcomed by the loving arms of his or her new family, would grow and learn and play, would be part of the truest and purest legacy that her officers could leave the universe.  Yes, this child would be loved as all the other children were... well, not like all the others, she thought suddenly, her hands momentarily faltering.  This child was just a little different because it was her child. That sounded so strange to her--"her" child.  Just a year ago she would never even have imagined she would be married, let alone pregnant.  But that was before the accident that changed everything, especially her view of herself.  Shivering even at the thought of her first officer's crumpled body lying in her arms after a devastating attack, she blessed the Doctor and all the spirits who, together, had given her a second chance to prove that the Woman hadn't abandoned the Warrior after all.  Allowing herself to feel that, to acknowledge it truly, had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, but now she and Chakotay were together in every miraculous sense, sharing their lives, their hearts, their souls... and now their child. Finding her eyes growing tired from the strain of several hours, she set her handiwork aside and stretched lazily as Chakotay entered from the next room.  She smiled as he came to lift her into an embrace, kissing his cheek lightly while being enfolded into his loving arms. "How are you feeling?" he asked, still holding her to him.   "All right, though very tired," she responded lightly.   "You've been working out here for a while." "I know."  She sighed.  "I didn't mean to neglect you."   Chakotay held her at arm's reach, staring at her seriously. "Kathryn, that's not how I felt, I don't want you to think that." She returned his stare as if unconvinced.   "I know this is a rough time for you, slowly handing over more duties to Tuvok and I, and I know you need a little space." "I just wanted to do something constructive--" she said with downcast eyes, but he interrupted her thoughts. "You don't need to explain."  Chakotay tipped her head up to meet his eyes.  "You've been through four months of emotional upheaval." She shook her head with a small smile.  "But I wouldn't exchange it for anything."  Raising her lips to his, she kissed him tenderly. Returning her kiss, Chakotay led her into their bedroom, lavishing her forehead, her cheeks, her nose with soft, gentle kisses through the journey.  They lay down beside each other, not once halting their show of devotion. Snuggling up against her husband's warm body, Kathryn rested her head against his broad shoulder as he gently caressed her forehead.  A curtain of safety closed upon her even as her eyes began to drift shut. A minute later, she felt Chakotay's lips on her forehead, then her nose, and knowing her lips were seconds away from ecstasy, she couldn't help but smile.  Her fingers found their way into his hair and down the back of his neck and finally planted themselves firmly on his shoulders as his kiss deepened meaningfully. Suddenly, through a haze of emotion, Chakotay felt a shift in his wife's position and heard her issue a quiet groan--both of which quickly sobered him by their mere demeanor. "Kathryn, are you okay?" He asked, backing off slowly, but still keeping close to her, examining her. Her right hand had migrated to her abdomen, which had just recently started to give a hint of her condition.  The expression on her face wasn't quite readable--she wasn't sure herself how she felt. "Feeling sick?" he prompted. She shook her head very slowly. "No, not sick so much...." She winced then and drew in a sharp breath.   "Chakotay," she said, once the wave had passed, "Something isn't right." Chakotay was on his feet before the entire sentence had even left her mouth. "Come on.  Let's get you to Sickbay," he said, helping her to her feet and keeping an arm securely around her. They made it into the turbolift before an even sharper pain overcame her, and this time she cried out even as he caught her against him.  Quickly lifting her into his arms, he could barely stand the wait for the doors to open. "You'll be all right, Kathryn," he soothed her.  "Just be calm, okay?" He didn't know if she responded because the doors finally chose to part, and he was through them like a flash.  Feeling a sympathetic pain as she grimaced and tried to crawl further into his embrace, Chakotay breezed into Sickbay, calling the Doctor out of his office in a hurried plea.  Emerging from the next room and appropriating a medical tricorder on his way to the biobed on which Kathryn now squirmed in torture, he asked with concern. "Commander, what happened?" "I don't know," Chakotay said, as breathless as his wife and gripping her hand tightly.  "She just started experiencing pain... it's been getting worse." The Doctor ran his tricorder over Kathryn in three fluid motions.  Quickly, he turned and lifted a hypospray from a medical cart.  Injecting it into her neck, he said, "Captain, please take slow, deep breaths." Kathryn had trouble complying initially, but slowly, as the medication began to take effect, her rushed breathing eased and returned to normal.  She only had to look at Chakotay for him to know she was still frightened because he felt it, too.  Glancing at the Doctor, he waited for the hologram to speak. After an eternity, he finally did. "Are you feeling better now, Captain?" She nodded. "Yes.  Doctor, what happened?  Is the baby all right?" Her questions came quickly in succession. "The baby is fine," the Doctor comforted her gently.  "But there is a complication." "'Complication?'" Kathryn and Chakotay blurted at the same time. The Doctor's programmed features seemed to take on a guilty appearance. "What you just experienced was a uterine muscle spasm.  I suspect it was brought about by stress, possibly fatigue or anxiety.  The complication is that it has aggravated the one condition for which I had failed to prepare." "That being?" Chakotay asked impatiently. "Placenta Previa.  It's a condition that isn't rare to pregnant women of your age, Captain, but it usually does not manifest itself this early in a pregnancy." "What is it?" "It's a condition in which the placenta pulls away from the uterine wall.  Usually, it occurs in one's late second trimester, or early third.  I wasn't anticipating it for you at all, being that you are as physically fit as you are." "So, what does this mean?" Kathryn asked. "There's no reversal for this condition, but the baby can be kept out of immediate danger by constant bed rest."   "Constant?" Kathryn asked, staring with wide-eyes at a stone-faced Chakotay.  "Doctor, I can't just--" "It's the only option I have to give you at this point, Captain," he interrupted.  "I'm sorry, but you'll have to refrain from any and all activity for the remainder of your pregnancy or until I can come up with a better solution." Kathryn stared at Chakotay, her face pale and her throat constricted, preventing her from saying anything.  For his own part, Chakotay was also very pale, but his jaw was set in firm determination. "Thank you, Doctor," he said.  "I'll contact Commander Tuvok and make the necessary arrangements immediately." The Doctor nodded.  "I would like to keep the Captain in Sickbay for the night just to monitor her, but we can relocate her back to your quarters tomorrow." "Whatever you think is best." The Doctor hovered over his patient for a moment longer, then quietly took his leave.  Kathryn wasn't moving, afraid now to do so, and Chakotay gently wiped away the tears that were falling unabated onto her cheeks.  A few minutes later, he could finally trust his voice enough to speak. "He'll find an alternative."   "And if he doesn't?" she whispered in angered fright.   "He will, Kathryn."  He paused.  "Are you going to be all right if I leave to find Tuvok?"   "I'll be fine.  Go." "I'll come back as soon as I can," he promised, leaning down and kissing her forehead, then leaving with a heavy heart. ***** Trying to knead three weeks of tension from his shoulders, Chakotay sighed as he walked down the hall of the crew's living deck.  He was tired from the string of 12 hour shifts he had to pull over these past weeks, trying to keep up on all the problems around ship and making sure that Kathryn had someone to sit with her every hour he wasn't with her.  And then there was the almost impossible task of keeping Kathryn out of the despair that had begun to creep upon her.  With another sigh, he carried himself heavily into their quarters. Neelix looked up immediately as he entered and came forward to greet him. "Good evening, Commander." "Hi, Neelix," he said with great fatigue, looking past the bubbly morale officer into the bedroom.  "How's Kathryn?" "Sleeping now for several hours.  I did make sure she got plenty to eat." Chakotay smiled.  "Thanks, Neelix." "Of course, sir.  Anything I can do for the Captain."  The small Talaxian winked.  "I'll see you tomorrow." Chakotay nodded, and after seeing Neelix out, he made his way to the couch, which had doubled as a makeshift bed for the past few weeks.  Wearily, he sat down, rubbing his eyes.  He was so tired that he thought about forgetting to change out of his uniform, but he wanted to check on Kathryn anyway.  So, he gathered himself to his feet and carried himself into their bedroom. Peeling off his shirt and tank top, he threw them into the corner and started for the bed, stopping short when he noticed Kathryn sitting up, smiling at him. He returned the smile and sat down carefully beside her. "I thought you were asleep." Shaking her head, she reached out and caressed his bare chest.  "I just couldn't stand to make small talk anymore." Forcing back shivers, Chakotay diverted her hands by holding them to his lips. "You look exhausted," she observed. "I am," he responded. "How's the ship?  Everything's all right, isn't it?" she tried to keep the real concern from making it to her eyes, though it was still rather evident in her voice. He sighed.  "The ship is beautiful, Kathryn... just like you."  Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her softly. Immediately, she wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss.  Knowing this would only lead him to insanity's threshold, he backed away, breaking the kiss and removing himself from her embrace. He stood quickly, asking, "Is there anything you need before I go to bed?" Her face nearly shattered his resolve.  With a slight pout in her voice, she said, "Chakotay, please stay here." "Kathryn, this isn't going to help either one of us." "It'll help me," she said with emphasis. Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "I can't stand another night alone, Chakotay.  Please." He sighed for the millionth time that evening and eased himself down beside her, wary of the devilish smirk that had conformed her frown once she realized that she had won him over.  Kathryn lifted her head as Chakotay put his arm around her and rested it against his shoulder.  It felt so good to be back in his arms, to have him once again at her side instead of light years away in the next room.  She lay a hand on his chest, feeling him tense beneath her touch.  She smiled again and kissed the bare skin against which she rested. Chakotay held his breath for a moment and closed his eyes to block out the too-beautiful vision beside him.  But there was no way to block out her scent, her touch, her very presence, and the room seemed to be growing warmer by the second.  Her full length was pressed against him, her fingers dancing over his chest. When she nudged his rib cage, he drew the line.  "Kathryn, stop it." "Stop what?" she asked innocently.  Too innocently. "Stop everything, or I'm going to go back out on the couch." "Chakotay--" He opened his eyes and looked down into hers, which were upturned and saddened.  Putting his hand up to her face and rubbing her cheek gently, he said "You know I love you, Kathryn, but we can't do this." "I know."  She sighed.  "But, I miss you." "I miss you, too," he said, holding her closer.  "Come on.  Get some sleep." He was thankful when she settled without further argument and was even happier when she stopped tracing imaginary circles on his chest with her fingers and became still.  She couldn't realize how much he needed her, how much he wanted her, how every touch, every kiss was a searing reminder to him of their awful separation. His heart caught in his throat as he felt another nudge to his ribs.  Sitting up, he snapped "That's it, Kathryn.  Goodnight." She grabbed his arm, knowing he wouldn't shrug her off out of deference to her condition.  "Where are you going?  I didn't do anything." "I'm not going to lay here and be teased into doing something that you know we can't do--" "What the hell are you--" "--Constantly nudging me--" "Chakotay, stop!" Kathryn shouted. Chakotay halted in mid-rant.   "What you felt was the baby kicking me," Kathryn explained with barely subdued anger. Guilt set in instantly as Chakotay's features calmed.  His eyes fell to her abdomen, which had continued to grow during the past weeks.  "The baby... Kathryn, I'm sorry.  I--" She halted his speech, taking his hand and tenderly placing it to her belly.  He smiled as he felt that tiny and familiar little nudge against his palm. "He's been restless all day," Kathryn said softly.  "Missed his Daddy, too, I guess." "Or her Daddy," Chakotay corrected.  "We very well could have another little Kathryn running the Bridge in a few    months." "I don't think so," Kathryn smiled. Chakotay leaned down and spoke through the layers of silk and skin that separated him from his active child and said with mock authority, "You quiet down in there, little one.  Let your Mommy get some sleep." He sat up and was greeted immediately with a lingering kiss and dangerously roving hands.  Trying to escape his relentless wife very carefully, he said, "Kathryn, I thought we'd settled this." Her voice was a mere whine.  "But Chakotay--I'm hormonal." "Sickbay to Commander Chakotay." Chakotay took the escape readily.  "Chakotay here, Doctor.  Go ahead." "Sir, I think I've developed a surgery to reverse Captain Janeway's condition." Husband and wife stared at each other in shocked and hopeful silence, hearts pounding, breathing coming more quickly. "Commander?" "I'm here, Doctor." "I'd like to come to your quarters and help you bring the Captain to Sickbay immediately." "Of course." "I'm on my way.  Doctor out." Chakotay hurried to Kathryn's opened arms and hugged her as tightly as he dared.  "I love you so much," he whispered into her ear. "I love you," she responded, taking is face in her hands and kissing him passionately. This time, Chakotay didn't bother stopping her. Three Months Later: Kathryn rested her hands on her very large abdominal region, rubbing it in soothing circles.  The baby within kicked her gently in response, and she smiled; wherever she moved her hand, the child would follow.  You're a smart one, she thought to the baby.  As she continued to play her little game, the door chime rang.  "Come in," she called pleasantly.  Chakotay and Tuvok entered the ready room, one behind the other, and stood in front of her desk at attention. "Report," she said, casually motioning them each to a seat. "Everything went smoothly," Chakotay responded, helping himself to the coffee Kathryn had waiting for him on her desk and offering Tuvok a cup.  When the Vulcan declined, Chakotay continued, "They were surprisingly amenable to our list of needs.  Mr. Neelix is supervising the transport of the foodstuffs as we speak." "Excellent," Kathryn commented, taking a tentative sip at the tea she had been forced to drink and turning her nose up slightly.  She missed her coffee--and the smell of it coming from Chakotay's mug was absolutely maddening.  "What about the refitting of the engines?" she asked, trying to keep her thoughts away from her watering mouth. "We're scheduled to rendezvous with a Captain L'Haite.  He apparently is the sector's foremost authority on alien technology," Chakotay explained.  "The Council has referred us to him." "How long will the journey take?" Kathryn questioned. "Five hours at maximum warp." "Well, have Tom set the appropriate course immediately," Kathryn said, taking another sip of her tea. "Aye, Captain." Her gaze fell then on her security chief, and the smile she had been sharing with her husband dimmed slightly.  "Tuvok, you've been very quiet," she observed.  "Is there a problem?" Tuvok glanced at Chakotay, an icy glare, before speaking, "The Commander and I have... different interpretations of the Promarans." "How so?" Kathryn prodded. "There were no outward signs of deception, of course, and our hosts were more than hospitable," Tuvok explained, "However, I believe that many of their suggestions were unnecessary, as if they were trying to lead us to an end, which we did not desire." Kathryn frowned.  "Chakotay?" "I don't think their actions were any different from simple haggling."  He sounded a bit annoyed, and Kathryn wondered how long the two men had argued with each other before coming to this debriefing.  "I sensed nothing remotely hostile from them, despite Tuvok's hunch--" Kathryn flinched at his choice of words, and Tuvok immediately countered, "I do not experience hunches, Commander, but rather base my hypotheses on rational and factual information--" Chakotay turned to the Vulcan.  "Oh, that's right, Tuvok--" "Gentlemen," Kathryn sternly interjected, frowning in disapproval at their behavior.  "I trust both of you implicitly, and I understand both sides of the coin.  We may just be indulging in old-fashioned paranoia; on the other hand, it's better to be safe than sorry."  She paused.  "We will proceed on course as planned, but Tuvok, keep our security teams on 24 hour watch and keep us at full tactical alert ship-wide." "Aye, Captain."  Tuvok stood.  "I will give Mr. Paris the necessary coordinates and begin tactical diagnostics immediately." "Thank you," Kathryn nodded.  "Dismissed." Tuvok turned and exited the room as Chakotay sat back in his chair, shaking his head.  "Whoever said 'You can't please everybody' never met Kathryn Janeway," he commented dryly. Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him playfully.  "Watch it, Commander, or I'll have you thrown in the brig for insubordination." "I don't think you will," he said smugly. "Oh no?" she challenged. "No.  Because then who would you get to massage your feet after your duty shift... Tuvok?"   Kathryn laughed.  "Touchez."   Chakotay smiled.  "So, how is our little one today?"   She looked down at her stomach with a sigh.  "Very active."   "Well, then she must be hungry."  He stood and offered his hand to her.  "Care to join me for dinner?" Taking his hand, she pulled herself to her feet, shooting at him, "Your son and I would love to." Chakotay shook his head with a laugh.  "I'm telling you, Kathryn, it's a girl." "You're only saying that because you want a girl," Kathryn said with a grin. "Well, if she looks anything like her mother, who could blame me?" They laughed together this time and left the ready room hand-in-hand. *** B'Elanna Torres frowned down at her readings and tapped her comm badge.  "Torres to Paris." She smiled at the sound of her husband's voice.  "Paris here." "Tom, I need you to drop back to warp four; I'm getting some serious stress readings on the warp core." "Acknowledged.  I'll inform the Captain." "Thanks, Tom.  Torres out."  Torres walked around the warp core to her station and sat down.  "Vorak," she called, pulling out a few data padds and settling down with them as the young Vulcan made his way over to her. "Yes, Lieutenant?" he asked, placing his hands behind his back. "Have you noticed the elevated stress levels?" she asked, not glancing up from her data padds. "Yes.  I have been closely monitoring it.  It has begun to drop with the speed cutback," Vorak reported dutifully. "Good.  Keep your eye on it, and let me know if it begins to rise again." "Of course, Lieutenant."  Vorak dipped his head and returned to his work. Torres consulted the readings again and then began to write her report.  At the rate they were going, they wouldn't make it to the rendezvous point with the Promaran captain before the engines would cut off-line, and it was going to take her at least a week to refit them on her own.  She sighed, trying to come up with a better solution for the problem, knowing the Captain would not want to accept the facts. So, it's time to work a miracle, Torres thought with a sigh. ***** "...And we've cut back to warp four to compensate." Kathryn looked to Chakotay and sighed heavily.  He gave her a reassuring smile as she answered, "Thank you, Ensign.  Keep me appraised." "Yes, ma'am.  Paris out." As Kathryn closed the comm channel, she rested back against the pillows of the couch.  Her eyelids shut unhappily, and she said with disappointment, "You know, if I weren't absolutely exhausted, I might take the time to figure out the math as to how long this is going to set us back." Chakotay lifted her feet into his lap and removed her orthopedic shoes, massaging her feet gently.  She smiled and sighed contentedly.  He said to her in comforting tones "Well, look at the bright side.  It gives us some time to pick out names.  We haven't really done that yet." Kathryn opened her eyes and gazed at him lovingly.  "Names, huh?  All right....  What do you suggest?" Chakotay smiled and looked off into the distance, as if he were pondering some great puzzle.  "I think we should name our daughter Kathryn.  Definitely the name of choice." She laughed and socked his arm.  "Be serious, Chakotay," she said cheerfully. He joined in her laughter. "All right, all right."  After a pause, he sobered a little and proposed, "How about Gretchen?" Kathryn's smile faded instantly, and the shining of tears entered the corners of her eyes. "Chakotay... that....  That's the most beautiful, thoughtful thing you've ever done."  Her voice was shaky, and the tears fell from her eyes.  Chakotay abandoned her feet and took her in his arms, kissing her lips softly.  "I love you," she whispered. He smiled and put his face in her hair, inhaling deeply.  "And you are my one true love."  Placing his hand on her swollen abdomen and rubbing it gently, he amended, "Well, maybe my second true love." She laughed into his mouth as he kissed her again, and wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer to her, laying back on the couch.  He broke away from the kiss, and smiled at her, teasingly saying, "You know, this is getting more difficult by the day." Patting her belly gently, she said, "Tell that to your child." She began to pull his face to hers again, but he stood.  "I've got a better idea," he stated, bending down and lifting her into his arms. He groaned under the doubled weight of wife and child, and Kathryn said in amused chastisement "You're going to send yourself to Sickbay, if you're not careful." As he carried her into their bedroom and deposited her gently onto the bed, he said, "For you, my dear, anything."  He smoothed her hair away from her face and looked deeply into her eyes.  She was watching his smile, and wondering how it was possible for her to lose herself so completely to those dimples of his. "Chakotay," she said suddenly, tears once again welling in her eyes, "I do love you.  So much." Wiping away her tears with his thumbs as they fell to her cheeks, he said lovingly, "I know you do, Kathryn.  I know."  He kissed her nose.  "But, you're crying an awful lot lately-makes me wonder." They laughed, and she responded lightly, "Hormones." Chakotay sat down beside her and rested his head against her abdomen.  She ran her fingers through his hair as he listened with wonder at the movement of their child.  Kathryn's voice pulled him away from the edge of sleep. "Chakotay?" "Hmm?" "There's only one foreseeable problem with naming our child Gretchen." "What's that?" "I don't think our son would appreciate it." Chakotay chuckled heartily, and the couple fell asleep in each other's arms. Part 2 The next morning Kathryn sat on the edge of their bed, brushing her shoulder-length auburn hair as she watched Chakotay skillfully putting a tiny crib together at her feet.  "I don't know how you have the patience for that," she commented, standing to replace her hair brush on their dresser. "And, I don't know how you have the patience to knit for hours at a time, but you do it," he responded, glancing up at her with a smile.  "This is the same thing." The corner of her mouth pulled upwards in a crooked smile.  "Well, enjoy yourself.  I'm off to the Bridge." He only nodded as she walked from the room.  As she was about to head out the door, she remembered that she had some reports to look over, and turned back to grab them from her desk.  All at once, she became light-headed, falling forward slightly.  Stabilizing herself against the wall, she realized that the hum of the warp engines had faded and ceased.  Her hand flew to her comm badge.  "Janeway to Engineering."  As Torres responded, Chakotay emerged from the bedroom, already donning a uniform. "Captain, we've got a problem with the core.  Looks like we're out of business." Kathryn's face tightened.  "Come to the conference room in fifteen minutes for a meeting with the senior officers.  I'll expect a full report when you get there." "Yes, ma'am." "Janeway out."  Kathryn turned to Chakotay.  "When you're finished--" "I'm ready now. Let's go." As they headed into the hall and toward the turbolift, Chakotay tapped his comm badge. "This is Commander Chakotay to all senior officers.  Assemble in the conference room in fifteen minutes."  He closed the comm channel, glancing at Kathryn.  Her face was impassive, but he knew the wheels in her head were already turning.  Their needs were bad, now that had been made desperately obvious.  An away mission seemed to be in order. And after hearing Torres' less than optimistic report fifteen minutes later that is exactly what Kathryn proposed. She began, "It's certainly clear that we need Captain L'Haite's help more than ever.  Without the necessary supplies and assistance, Voyager is as good as dead-in-the-water.  Just prior to this meeting, I contacted his vessel, and he is willing to meet one of our shuttles half-way, so I'll be sending an away team."  Kathryn took a deep breath.  "Chakotay, I want you and B'Elanna to take a shuttle and rendezvous with L'Haite's ship." Chakotay only nodded, but Torres stepped in quickly.  "Captain, I would actually prefer not to leave the engines while they're in this state of decay.  A warp core breech is still a possibility." "Yes," Kathryn nodded slowly, "I read in your report that the matter/anti-matter reactor is in need of reinforcement."  She caught the glint in Chakotay's eye, and silently thanked the spirits that he remained silent.  "But I need someone of higher rank with engineering experience to deal with Captain L'Haite, and obviously, I'm not an option at this point.  Don't worry," she assured the young lieutenant, "I'll hold down the fort while you're gone." Turning back to Chakotay, she said, "You'll depart from shuttlebay 2 at 1500 hours.  That gives us some time to get prepared, and for me to notify Captain L'Haite of our plans."  She glanced around the table.  "Dismissed." They all stood, and turned to go to their respective duties.  As she had expected, Chakotay remained behind.  As soon as they were alone, Chakotay turned to his wife, stating simply, "Send Tuvok." "Chakotay--" She cupped his chin with her palm, a customary gesture she had picked up when they were first married, but he pulled away from her touch and walked around her. "I mean it, Kathryn.  I'm not leaving for any extended holidays.  Not now." She could hear the anger in his voice and frowned in spite of herself.  "Chakotay, you're overreacting." "Am I?" he asked, turning to face her again. "Yes," Kathryn threw back at him, not taking effort to conceal her own rising temper.  "This is important to Voyager, and it requires one of us to see it to fruition.  Be happy I'm not sending myself." "You wouldn't even try it," he said shortly, "I'd have you relieved." Now Kathryn's eyes were flaming.  "Well, for the time being, I am still in command of this vessel and will be until the Doctor concurs with you otherwise.  So, you have your orders, Commander, and I expect them to be followed." He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "Don't test me, Chakotay," she warned him, her voice even and low.  Before he said anything more, she spoke curtly "Dismissed." Chakotay debated on staying but saw the look of unabated and unwavering finality crossing his wife's determined features, and turning, he exited without another word. Kathryn unconsciously rubbed her seven-month swollen belly as she sat silently in her command chair, watching her chair-side console, which was now routed in through Engineering.  The stress on the engine core seemed to have leveled off, yet it still concerned her. The readings had never been this high, and she wondered if the reactor chamber would be able to withstand the pressure.  Perhaps an emergency containment field would help to relieve some of her tension, but her husband's comm voice interrupted her thoughts. "Chakotay to the Bridge.  Shuttlecraft Cochrane ready to depart." Tapping her comm badge, she gave Ensign Kim a silent nod.  "We're depressurizing the shuttlebay and opening bay doors, Commander.  Departure approved."  Before she closed the comm channel, she added, "Safe journey." "Thank you, Captain.  We'll be back in no time."  Kathryn noted with a smile the softness of his voice.  Perhaps he wouldn't hold a grudge, after all, she thought.  "Chakotay out." Kathryn smiled again and returned to her study of the Engineering data on her console.  After several more minutes of reading and hypothesizing, she decided to offer a hand to Vorak, who had been left in charge of Engineering in Torres' absence.  Standing slowly, she realized it was getting harder and harder to pull herself to her feet lately, and damned if her back wasn't aching worse than usual. "Tuvok," she said, making her way to the turbolift.  "You have the Bridge.  I'm going to make a visual assessment of the situation in Engineering." "Of course, Captain," Tuvok stated calmly as she entered the lift. The doors closed swiftly, and Kathryn called out, "Deck 11."  The turbolift jolted on its journey. That evening, Chakotay sat with his arms crossed across his chest in the pilot's seat of the shuttlecraft.  "Anything yet?" Chakotay asked Torres. He received an annoyed and frustrated glare.  "Still nothing." Chakotay sighed and consulted their sensor data for himself.  Yes, they were at the pre-set rendezvous coordinates, but where was Captain L'Haite's ship?  It should have been here in plenty of time to meet the small shuttlecraft.  However, Torres' scans were now showing that the Promaran vessel was holding position two light years away.  Staring out the front viewport, Chakotay made his decision. "I'm setting an intercept course.  Maybe something's wrong." "I'll try hailing them," Torres offered, moving to activate the appropriate equipment.  After a few moments, she reported, "There's no response." "Open a channel, then," Chakotay said, frowning warily at the ship, now in visual range and growing in size before his eyes. "Go ahead," Torres said almost instantly. He raised his voice to be caught by the communications system.  "This is Commander Chakotay of Voyager.  Captain L'Haite, is there a  problem?" "No response," Torres practically growled. "We're coming up along the ship," Chakotay said absentmindedly, slowing his speed appropriately and then coming to a full stop.  "Are you getting any life signs?"           "There are definitely people on board," Torres reported after consulting her console.  "They're just not talking." Chakotay looked to Torres, and she nodded, putting his unspoken demand into motion.  After a moment, she stated "All frequencies open." Again, he tried to communicate with the seemingly lifeless vessel.  "Captain L'Haite, this is Commander Chakotay of the Federation starship Voyager.  Please respond.” "What do you want?" was the gruff response.  It was decidedly not Captain L'Haite, and Chakotay swivelled in his chair to stare at Torres questioningly.  She returned the stare, narrowing her eyes in confusion.  No visual contact?  "I believe that we had a rendezvous scheduled," Chakotay attempted. "I am aware of no such arrangement," the irritated voice answered in return. "Our Captain spoke with Captain L'Haite this morning, and I-"  As he glanced at the panel before him, he halted.  The other ship had taken a defensive posture, now looming over the small shuttle.  "Excuse me," he said, silently motioning Torres into Yellow Alert, "Why have you raised your shields?  We pose no menace to your vessel." "Captain L'Haite was been relieved of his command.  All further communication between you and our people will be terminated.  Please return to your ship." Chakotay hesitated.  "I'm not sure I fully understand what's happened here," he said slowly and cautiously. "Cognizance, on your part, is unnecessary.  Your intervention is neither required nor requested," the voice said with increased impatience.  "Return to your ship now, or we will take action against you." With a creeping sense of hazard overruling confusion and curiosity, Chakotay cut communications.  "Setting a course away from the ship, Warp 2, and engaging.  B'Elanna, keep an eye on that ship.  I don't like this--" Torres interrupted heatedly, "They're powering weapons... preparing to fire!" "Shields up!"           Deftly, she put his order into action, but the weapons overwhelmed the shuttle, sending it spiraling out of control.  Chakotay glanced over at Torres to make sure she was all right, then turned back to his station.  "Powering up our phasers," he reported. "Scanning for the origin of their weapons. Fire, Chakotay!" she spat out angrily, patching the coordinates of the exposed vulnerability on their enemy ship's underside to the shuttle's targeting systems. The phasers sliced out at the Promaran ship, but the brilliant explosions occurring on the viewscreen did no significant damage.  Chakotay maneuvered the shuttle away from the return shot.  "B'Elanna, try it again." The half-klingon growled as she took aim, and relentlessly fired, Chakotay keeping the shuttle in prime position for the onslaught.  Finally, he was greeted with a large explosion on screen.  "Got it!" Torres shouted with the excitement of victory dripping from her voice.  "Weapons damaged, engines nonfunctional." Chakotay nodded.  "I'm getting us out of here.  Can you coax any more out of the engines for me?" Torres rose from her seat and headed for the back of the shuttle.  "I'll see what I can do." Chakotay knew he was pushing the damaged vessel by flying at warp 4, but it was going to take them several hours to get back to Voyager as it was.  Encoding a short transmission to update the Captain, Chakotay sent the long-range communiqué, hoping that he could get to Voyager before Kathryn took any drastic measures.  Things were getting a little more dangerous, and now the anxious first officer was wishing he had paid more heed to Tuvok's warnings. Returning to the front of the vessel, Torres retook her place at Chakotay's side.  "Warp 5 is the best I can do, on the fly." "Well, then it'll have to do."  Chakotay shared a knowing glance with his old friend and sighed. "Ensign, back it off a little," Kathryn ordered, sitting in Torres' normal place in Engineering as she observed the stress levels climb a few pegs. Kim did as he was told and looked up for her approval, receiving her nod, but noting the creases of her forehead.  "Don't worry, Captain.  This is going to work," he said, offering a smile before returning to run the long, oval Engineering tool over the matter/anti-matter reactor. "I certainly hope so," she muttered.  In the last hour, the stress levels had been climbing steadily, and they very nearly lost containment once already.  It would still be hours before Chakotay returned with Captain L'Haite's aid, and she found her anxiety climbing along with the stress on the engine core. "Tuvok to Janeway." "Janeway here, Tuvok," Kathryn responded after tapping her comm badge.  "I assume this isn't good news." "We have picked up several small vessels on long range sensors coming in our direction.  They are Promaran." "Hail them," Kathryn ordered, unwilling yet to leave her post in Engineering. "Aye, Captain.  Please, standby." As Kathryn waited for Tuvok's response, she stood slowly and positioned herself behind Kim so as to supervise his progress more closely.  Finally, Tuvok addressed her again, "Apparently, Captain, they are on their way to appropriate a renegade ship." Kathryn frowned, leaning closer to Kim and scrutinizing the matter/anti-matter container, and responded, "Offer any assistance that we might be able to give." "Aye, Captain.  Tuvok out." "Well, how's it coming, Harry?  The stress seems to be slacking off a bit." "Yes, it is, Captain," he smiled up at her.  "I told you it would work." Kathryn grinned and clapped him on the shoulder.  "Nice work." Kim stood and replaced the tool he had been using, procuring a new one.  He ran it slowly across the area on which he had just completed working.  "Levels are still critical, but they've dropped."  Kathryn nodded.  "Now, let's see what we can do about keeping them down.  Ensign Vorak," she called. The Vulcan appeared momentarily.  "Yes, Captain?" "I'd like to test a theory.  Your assistance?" she requested, motioning for him to follow her as she walked around to the other side of the warp core. "Of course," he responded. Kathryn tapped in her security clearance as she accessed the main engineering console and brought up several engine function files.  Vorak waited patiently as his captain's fingers danced across the console.  Finally, she turned to him.  "All right, Ensign, this is what I'm thinking." She explained to him in detail what she expected from the experienced ensign and then left him to begin immediate testing.  Rejoining Kim on the other side of the core, she asked, "How do we look?" "They haven't risen any further," Kim sighed wearily, "But they're not going down any more, either." Kathryn noticed the lines of fatigue around the young man's eyes, and glancing at the chronometer, she realized that it was quite late.  "Ensign, have you eaten?" "No, ma'am," he answered, turning to his vigil once again. "Take a break, Harry," she ordered.  "I'll keep on eye on things here." Kim stared up at her.  "With all due respect, Captain, perhaps you should take a break." Kathryn raised an eyebrow.  "I know my limits, Harry," she said, her voice low, even, and slightly warning.  "Take a quick break, and then you'll relieve me." Kim knew better than to question her again, and he rose to his feet.  As he was about to leave, Kathryn called him back.  "Mr. Kim."  He turned, and she offered him a small smile.  "I do appreciate your concern." He nodded, returning the smile and then headed for the doors to Engineering.  Kathryn turned and gazed up at the warp core, placing her hands on her lower back and massaging it roughly.  Returning to Torres' workstation, she sat carefully, her feet throbbing as she examined the levels of stress on the warp core. When Kim returned half an hour later, she was hunched over the matter/antimatter reactor.  "Captain?" he asked, immediately getting to his knees beside her. "The levels are rising again," she said, running the instrument with which he had previously been working over the reactor with controlled urgency.  "I can't get them back down, and Vorak isn't having any luck either."   She handed the tool off to Kim, and with great effort she pulled herself to her feet.  Small beads of sweat were forming at her hairline, and she wiped at them.  Just about to contact the Bridge, she was halted by the blaring klaxon of a red alert.  "Bridge, re-"  Her demand was cut off as several percussive jolts ravaged the ship and sent Kathryn careening backward. Tuvok's voice blared over the comm channel.  "Intruder alert.  Security teams to Decks 6, 8, and 10." Kathryn tapped her comm badge.  "Tuvok, what the hell's going on?!" "The Promaran ships have attacked us, Captain.  They have gotten too close to our shields for us to target them and have used some sort of transporter technology to board the ship." Kathryn raised her eyes to the ceiling.  "It looks like I'm stuck here.  Computer, seal off all Bridge functions, authorization Janeway Pi one-one-zero." "Captain!" Kim called her attention away from Tuvok.  "We're losing containment again, and I can't stop it!" Kathryn paused for only a moment.  "We're going to dump the reactor.  I don't want it rupturing within the ship."  Kim nodded his understanding, and moved to join Vorak in assistance.  "Tuvok," Kathryn called out over the klaxon, "Be prepared to target the reactor.  Maybe we can use it as a mine." "Aye, Captain." "Mr. Kim," she said, holding onto a console as she braced against further attacks, "Do it."  The ship jolted once more, and then Kim reported success.  "Tuvok, fire at will." A series of loud phaser blasts berated the doors to Engineering, and someone shouted above the din, "They're coming in!" Kathryn was on the move in an instant.  "Harry-force field?" "It'll never hold." "If it's going to buy us any time at all, I want one up now!" she shouted as she headed quickly for the weapons locker.  "Brantley, Hargrove, Prescott-take up positions on either side of the doors.  Everyone, arm yourselves!" she ordered, nabbing one phaser for herself and one for Kim, who was approaching her.  She tossed the weapon to him and tapped her comm badge again.  "Tuvok, we need security in Engineering now!" "They are on their way, Captain." Kim placed a hand on her back.  "Captain, come with me." She followed him quickly to the ladder and climbed as hastily as she could, being impeded by her condition.  They took up positions with several other crewmen and aimed their weapons at the doors. For a moment there was absolute silence, and Kathryn held her breath.  Then Vorak's voice rang through the hollow deck, "They've disabled the force field!" Suddenly, a barrage of Promarans entered Engineering, firing and picking off several of the crew stationed on the lower floors.  It took them only a few minutes before they realized that the majority of fire was coming from above, and they adjusted their attack pattern accordingly. Kathryn yelled across to several fighting crewmembers, "Attract their fire away from the core!" Kim shouted, "Captain, get back!" and pushed her clear of an oncoming blast, firing a return shot just before ducking out of the way.  He crawled over to her.  "We've got to get you out of here! "Take a look around, Harry," she responded angrily, picking off one of the attacking soldiers with deadly aim. "Captain, this is no place." "Ensign, take up your position or escort yourself to the Brig!" Kathryn shouted harshly.  "This isn't the time for debate!" "At least stay out of the line of fire, and let us handle this!" he attempted. Kathryn glanced away but nodded grudging approval.  She didn't even want to think about what Chakotay would do if something happened to their child, nor could she imagine herself, life without her little one.  "Go!" she yelled. Kim returned to his sniper position as Kathryn huddled into a corner and tapped her comm badge.  "Tuvok, report!" "Several Promaran ships were destroyed in the explosion, but others are still attacking, Captain." "Where the hell is security?" she demanded.  "We could use a little help down here." "They are currently engaged in a battle on deck 10.  Their progress to your position has been halted." "Are any intruders near the Bridge?" "No, Captain.  They have been unable to get past emergency bulkheads on Deck 4." "Good."  Just then, a shrill whistle assaulted her ears, and Kim came flying back, landing at her feet.  He was holding his shoulder, his face contorted in pain.  Kathryn knelt beside him, quickly inspecting his wound.  A quick survey of the area left her despairing.  "Tuvok, we need assistance.  We're losing this battle, and quickly!" "I will do my best." "Do better than that," Kathryn ordered, focusing all of her attention on Kim.  "Harry, are you all right?  It looks like just a nasty flesh wound." He nodded with some effort, and she helped him back up to his knees, then carefully crawled forward to look below.  The enemy was advancing too close to the ladders, and she quickly fired a few clean shots to deter them from progressing.  The view she was afforded forced tears to her eyes.  Even the tiny life within her turned uneasily, sensing the anxiety of its mother. Duty seized her.  Working on the hope that there would be a common denominator between her physiology and that of her attackers, as there generally was in all humanoid species, she removed her comm badge and began dismantling it.  Harry took notice of what she was doing, and managed, "Captain?" She glanced up.  "Contact the Bridge.  Tell them that I'm going to attempt to immobilize the enemy by emitting a high frequency sound burst.  Unfortunately, it's also going to immobilize us, so have them prepare Security teams and the Doctor.  They should have a good ten minutes before anyone regains consciousness." "Yes, Captain," he said, tapping his comm badge. She immediately returned her full attention to her work.  The sounds of the battle hummed at the edge of her awareness, but she pushed it away, disconnecting wires and reconnecting, tying some together to get her the desired end result.  In a few more minutes, she finished, and the deafening whines of weapon's fire brought her back to the present. "Harry?” "Commander Tuvok's been notified." Shuffling noises from behind her caught her attention, and she spun to see several enemies climbing onto the upper level.  "Here goes nothing," she said quietly, and pressed the comm badge.  Instantly, an ear-splitting hiss seared through her mind, and she collapsed, dropping the comm badge as she brought her hands up to cover her ears.  She didn't hear the others' screams, didn't even hear her own.  Several seconds passed before unconsciousness would mercifully quiet her. Part 3 "Is this it?" Chakotay asked in a whisper. L'Haite only nodded. Chakotay, Tom, and Captain L'Haite had spoken at length about the situation.  In the course of discussions, the two Starfleet officers had learned that Redik was an arrogant man hungry for power and control.  He believed himself to be the fulfiller of one or another of the Promaran's ancient scrolls, and had taken it upon himself to band together a smattering of followers.  But his group was very much in the minority with very little support from the general populous.  "I believe," L'Haite had said, as Chakotay listened with rapt attention, "that Redik intends to wipe out the High Council.  With all of our leaders dead, there would be little resistance, even by our so-called military." "I would agree," Chakotay had responded, "Just from the comments he made to us.  But does he have the means?" "It is rumored among some of my old crewmates that he has a dialogue with one or more members of the Council." Chakotay had frowned.  "Then there are those to whom you still speak from your crew?" The pride in L'Haite's eyes had been unmistakable.  "When Redik took us by surprise, I told my senior officers to go along with his plans, and spread the word around to the rest of the crew to do the same, knowing Redik would spare them in order to augment his own forces if it looked like they'd mutinied.  After I was put in confinement, my crew tried to undermine Redik, but he discovered their tricks too soon.  He is an intelligent man."  Here, his gaze had been very sad.  "Consequently, he had all of my senior crew killed and many others confined.  They told me that everyone had been killed, but some were able to maintain their positions and have secretly kept me informed.  At great risk to themselves." Chakotay leaned forward, his voice hushed.  "So it may still be possible to reclaim the ship?" "With your help, perhaps it will be so." And, so nearly half an hour later, Chakotay and L'Haite had left Tom behind in the Brig while they worked a quick escape through a hatchway Redik's forces never thought enough of to examine, and were crawling with urgency toward L'Haite's quarters.  Chakotay had to see Kathryn before they put their plans of retaking the ship into motion.  He had to see her to hold her again, and make sure she was all right.  To hold her, and to warn her. L'Haite moved past him and breached the hatchway exiting into his quarters very carefully.  "He is not here," he whispered.  "But you will have only a few minutes, as we do not know when he shall return." "Understood," Chakotay responded.  With great stealth, he slipped from the tubes through which they had been crawling, and scanned the massive bedroom.  There, on the bed, she slept on her side, with her hands bunched up under the pillow, as was her custom.  He smiled at the sight of her, her very presence soothing his tension, but the lines of worry on her forehead forced his frown of concern to return.  He knew her sleep was troubled. Moving to her bedside, he brushed the hair away from her face and whispered gently, "Kathryn, wake up." She stirred apprehensively, and at the feel of his touch, she jerked away and sat up, breathing hard.  Recognition did not come instantly, and he tried putting his hands on her shoulders.  "Hey, calm down," he said soothingly.  "It's me." Kathryn froze.  "Chakotay?" she asked shakily. He drew her immediately into an embrace.  "Oh, God, you're safe," he whispered into her hair as he inhaled her scent deeply. She held onto him as if he were her lifeline.  "How did you get here?  It's dangerous.  Do you know what Redik will do to us if he finds you here?" "He hasn't hurt you has he?" Chakotay asked, holding her away from him so that he could stare into her eyes.  She hadn't been able to avert them quickly enough for him to miss the truth he saw there, and he said in low and deathly serious tones, "He didn't--" "No," Kathryn interjected quickly, knowing his thoughts.  "No, Chakotay.  He's had his fun, but he hasn't taken it that far.  Not yet." He pulled her to him again.  "If he touches you, I swear, Kathryn." A noise behind Chakotay caught his attention.  Looking over his shoulder as Kathryn did the same, they saw L'Haite's head emerging from the hatchway.  "We must go now.  The guards will be back at the cell to check on us soon." Chakotay nodded and returned his gaze to Kathryn.  "Listen to me.  We have a plan to get out of this.  I can't explain it all to you now, but you have to trust me." Kathryn stared at him.  "You know I do." "Good.  I'll try to send word to you somehow by morning, if everything works to our advantage." L'Haite was again at the hatchway.  "Chakotay," he urged.  "Now." Chakotay quickly kissed his wife's lips and then dipped down to caress her abdomen and kiss it gently.  "You both be good."   "We always are," Kathryn said, grasping his hand for a fraction of a second before he pulled it away and re-entered the hatchway, to disappear a few moments later.  The sound of the hatch door sealing tightly somehow filled her with dread. Back in the holding cell, Chakotay handed Tom a scanning device that he and L'Haite had filched from the captain's suite.  "I think we can use it to tap into the main computer.  If Redik sends any message to Voyager, we might be able to piggyback his signal with a message of our own." "Good idea," Tom said.  "But how do we hack in without being detected?  This is more Harry's area of expertise." Captain L'Haite came forward and took the instrument from his hands.  "I wouldn't be the captain of this ship without knowing how to get around its security measures."  He focused his attention on the device. Chakotay afforded Tom a grin, and smiled wider when it was returned.  While L'Haite worked, Tom moved closer to Chakotay and asked, "How's the Captain?" "She's all right.  But, I want to get this taken care of as quickly as possible.  I don't trust Redik with her for a second." "So, what is the plan, Commander?" Chakotay sighed heavily.  "When Redik came to take over the ship, he attacked it much in the same way he attacked Voyager, swiftly and with little hope of combating him.  But the forces he retained on the ship itself are surprisingly few in number, a good many are from L'Haite's original crew compliment." "But what about the men who are still loyal to Redik?" Tom asked. "They're not as loyal to him as you might think.  Apparently, he's a heartless bastard, and some have begun to question his tactics, tired of being afraid for their lives, maybe. "Now, L'Haite says the man who brings the dinner is one of his old officers.  We can spread the word that way, and hopefully, we have enough followers to incite a mutiny against Redik.  After the plan circulates, we wait for them to spring us." "Do you think it'll work?" For a moment, Chakotay paused and watched L'Haite working with his tool.  Even if they got word to Voyager of their plans, the ship would never be able to come to their aid in the state that it was in; they were completely on their own. Looking at Tom, he said darkly, "It damn well better work because we don't have any other options."  Kathryn didn't know how long it was until Redik returned, but as soon as she heard him entering, she closed her eyes and feigned sleep.  She heard him coming closer and taking a deep breath as she opened her eyes slowly, Kathryn acted as if she were just waking up. Redik crossed his arms in front of his chest.  "Did you sleep comfortably?" "Yes," Kathryn said quietly. "Good.  If you'll excuse me then, I'm due on the Bridge.  Someone will be by in about five minutes with your dinner."  Redik turned without another word, and began to head for the doors. Taking another deep breath, Kathryn swung her legs off the side of the bed.  "Redik, wait a moment, I-" She stopped when he turned and stared at her expectantly, suddenly realizing that she hadn't a clue what she was going to do to distract him. "You have something to say?" he prompted impatiently. "I've been feeling ill" she began slowly. "Ill?" Redik frowned, coming back toward her. "Yes," Kathryn nodded soberly.  "My Doctor told me that this far into my third trimester, I might begin to experience false labor pains." Redik sat beside her.  "Indeed?" "Yes, and I've been in pain all evening." "Perhaps my medic could give you something," Redik proposed. "I'm afraid not.  Drugs are much too dangerous."  Kathryn looked down into her lap.  "If it happens again.  Well, I'd just prefer not to be alone." Redik arched an eyebrow.  "You are asking for my company?" he asked, not without suspicion. "Even your company is better than none at all." At this, Redik laughed loudly.  "Can't hold that tongue of yours for anything, can you?"  He rested his hand just above her knee and said, "I have important business, my dear."  As he stood, Kathryn reached up and grabbed his sleeve, saying desperately,  "Redik, please." He turned to look at her, singularly amused.  "I didn't mean for you to think I'd be going indefinitely.  I won't be gone ten minutes," he said, untangling himself from her grasp and heading for the doors.  "Then, I promise you, you shall have my very undivided attention." Kathryn waited until he was gone to let out the breath she'd been holding and hoped he would come back before Chakotay put his plans, whatever they were, into motion. While she was pondering her next steps for when Redik returned, Redik himself was walking with an exultant air onto the Bridge.  "Kamit," he announced pompously, "Record a message for me, eh, my friend?" Kamit had looked up with surprise at his leader when he came into the room, and now fumbled for words.  "Yes, sir.  Of course, sir.  A moment, please." Redik straightened his uniform, and with great will power, he forced the smile to leave his face when Kamit reported that he was ready.  After a beat, Redik began to speak.  "Starship Voyager, I'm sure you are aware that I currently have your three officers on board my ship.  I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you, but I am willing to negotiate for their safe return.  I will, of course, want full access to your technological data base as compensation for my trouble, if I were to bring them back."  He smiled a cunning smile.  "And I do urge you to respond quickly.  Your captain has not been in the best of health.  She may need medical attention that my men are unable to give."  After a moment of silence, he said inconsequentially, "Redik out." Then he turned to Kamit.  "I trust you'll send this out immediately." "Of course, sir." "Good.  When the response comes, you'll find me in my quarters."  He even went so far as to clap the younger man on the shoulder.  "Have a good night." Kamit merely nodded at his superior and turned to his work.  Redik grinned fiendishly and stepped into the turbolift. He was watching her as she ate, she knew that, but she ignored him and continued eating.  She couldn't deny that she was starving, and though before her pregnancy she would have never given a man like Redik the satisfaction of seeing her eat anything, Kathryn wouldn't deny her child the nourishment that was so vitally necessary for survival. "I hope you're enjoying that," Redik said, as he rested his head in his hand.  "It's one of my favorite dishes." "It's fine," Kathryn responded, taking another bite.  When she was finished, she sat back and looked directly at him.  "Thank you," she forced herself to say.  "For staying with me." Redik nodded, and for a second Kathryn thought he was going to excuse himself.  Resolved not to let him out of her sight until she knew that Chakotay was safe, she moved to stand and immediately collapsed back into her chair, fixing what she hoped to be a stricken expression on her face.  "Oh," she groaned. He eyed her mindfully and stood. "It's a contraction," she said through pained gasps. "Remain calm, my dear," he said, taking her hand and guiding her to the bed.  "Just breathe easily." His tone was cool and very nonchalant, and Kathryn found herself wondering if he were really falling for this at all.  She allowed him to sit beside her, his left hand kneading her lower back insistently while she concentrated on breathing.  Watching him out of the corner of her eye, she could see that his expression had become very serious as he stared at her, and she shivered. "Are you feeling better now, my dear?" She swallowed and merely bowed her head.  When this was over, she was going to cram his condescension right down his throat, but for now, she would simply have to capitulate to his games. His hand left her back, and he had repositioned himself behind her, adding both of his hands to the task of massaging her shoulders.  She was in the very least thankful that he could not see the look of disgust that swept across her face at the feel of his hands and the sound of his voice as he said, "You must learn to spend a little more time relaxing.  Your stress cannot be good for your child." "No, I suppose it can't," Kathryn said quietly.  "But circumstances being what they currently are." "If you are worried about your safety at my hands, please don't be," he said softly.  His hands caressed her neck lightly.  "I won't hurt you." Kathryn kept her voice even and devoid of accusation as she responded, "That certainly wasn't the impression I received earlier."   "No, and I suppose that's my fault, isn't it?"  His voice became even softer still as he asked, "Would you consider staying on board if I released your two officers?  Alive," he added for good measure.  When he received no answer, he continued, "There is nothing in the Empire that you and your child would be denied when I become the Cardinal Chancellor."    This transition had not been anticipated, and Kathryn noticed that her hands were shaking.  What could she say to him now that would not make him suspicious, or worse, angry?  Cautiously, she questioned, "Where has this idea come from, Redik?  Hours ago, I believed you ready to kill me and my child, if it would suit your whims." "That's true.  But, you amuse me, Kathryn Janeway.  More so than any woman of my own species." "So I would be nothing more than a toy, to be tossed away at the first sign of boredom," Kathryn surmised. There was silence, and for a moment, his hands lifted.  Then there was a callous laugh that rang through the room, and his hands were once again planted on her shoulders.  "You are also wiser than perhaps I give you credit for.  Well, it makes no difference to me.  Being the intelligent female you are, you already know I'm not one for asking permission to do anything."  Leaning close to her ear, he said, "I take what I want, regardless of what it wants." His hands started to trail down her arms, and unable to control herself, she shrugged him off.  "Redik, don't." She had just managed to stand and began to walk away when Redik grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him.  Before she realized what was happening, he had punched her twice, and she stumbled backward, falling to the floor.  Coming after her, he yanked her to her feet.  Instinct alone allowed her to duck and miss his next blow, getting in a couple of her own before she was pinned to the bed.  Redik was glaring down at her.  "I am not ordered by anyone, my dear, and least of all by you."  She tried to push him away, but he slapped her twice, hard, causing her to fall back against the pillows.  His hands were gripping her arms so hard that she could only squirm painfully as he shook her forcefully.  Disoriented and dizzy, she stopped resisting him. In the next few minutes, Redik began to become very familiar with her, and even though she wanted to scream at his touch, she was paralyzed with both disbelief and fear.  Her mind started to drift into a hazy, silent realm where she could not see Redik now suddenly on top of her, could not hear his increasingly aroused pants, could not feel his tongue forcing its way into her mouth. When a moment of reality crept past the barrier her subconscious had erected, and she perceived that her dress was being carelessly removed, her arms automatically rose to place themselves firmly against his chest.  "Please," she choked through tears she did not remember shedding.  "Please, no." Redik looked directly into her eyes.  They were both frozen, staring at each other. "Please," she repeated.  Tears streaming freely down her cheeks as her mind left its safe cocoon and relapsed into cognizance, she spoke the words she never thought she'd hear coming from her mouth with trembling urgency.  "I'll do anything."  Slowly, Redik's lips began to curl into a sadistic sneer.  "Yes," he murmured, leaning closer to her face.  "I thought you might." He was leaning ever closer to her when a hail interrupted.  "Kamit to Redik." Redik growled, "What the hell do you want?!" "Sir, you must come to the Bridge directly.  I believe a message has been sent covertly." "Damn it, you fool.  I'm on my way." "Yes, sir.  Kamit out." Redik looked down into Kathryn's tear-stained face.  "It appears, my dear, that this shall have to wait." The deliberateness with which he slowly moved away from her was agonizing.  The last thing she remembered before blacking out was Redik, hovering over her with triumph as she cradled the baby, still in her womb, and wept. The hours had been tedious, all officers on board relentlessly working to repair their damaged home, all officer's minds wondering whether or not their friends and commanding officers were even still alive.  The fatigue and stress of the situation was palpable in the short, clipped discussions occurring on every deck.  As Harry Kim pinched the bridge of his nose, a communiqué snapped him to attention.  "Commander Tuvok, we're receiving a long range communication, sir.  It's a Promaran frequency." Tuvok was frowning down at his tactical console.  "Put it-" "Sir, wait!" Harry exclaimed excitedly.  "I'm picking up another signal also Promaran, but with a Starfleet encryption code.  It's been piggybacked on the first signal." "Play them each in succession," Tuvok stated calmly, moving from behind his station to place his hands on the railing. All eyes were on the forward viewscreen as Redik's familiar face appeared and delineated his intent.  The hushed whispers of the crew were silenced as Harry spoke up.  "The second message is coming through now.  It's from the Commander.  Both he and Tom are fine, and they're working with Captain L'Haite and his crew to stage a mutiny and retake the ship."  Harry looked up at Tuvok.  "The rest has degraded, sir." Tuvok frowned deeply, which was no different from the expression he normally wore, and he turned to the Engineering station where B'Elanna was feverishly working.  "Lieutenant?" he asked. She faced him.  "We've got a quarter impulse engines."  With a growl, she admitted fiercely, "We just aren't in any position to help them fight." "Then we must hold our position and monitor our long range sensors closely for any developments," Tuvok responded, betraying nothing of his own emotions.  "Ensign Kim?" "Yes, sir?" "Notify the Doctor to prepare for casualties." Chakotay hadn't remembered falling asleep until Tom was anxiously rousing him.  "Chakotay, get up.  We've got to move."  Getting to his feet and wiping the sleep from his eyes, adrenaline coursed through his body.  "What's going on?" "L'Haite's men have come through." They joined L'Haite at the door of the Brig.  "How much support do we have?" Chakotay whispered to L'Haite. "All of my former men.  They're breaking free of the cargo bays as we speak.  As for Redik's men, some of them have turned, but I don't trust them.  We'll have to be careful." "Agreed." Suddenly, the door opened, and two limp bodies, the guards who had been assigned to Chakotay and Tom, were thrown inside.  A tall man appeared in the doorframe and addressed L'Haite.  "Captain, are you well?" Stepping up and placing a hand on the man's shoulder, he smiled, "I am now, Mehric.  Come.  We have work to do." "Yes, sir.  Our men are gathering in the galley it's the only place that isn't open at this time." "Good thinking."  L'Haite beckoned for Chakotay and Tom to follow him, and together, the four men walked cautiously through the halls.  The galley was two decks down, but they didn't run into any problems, thanks to the hour at which L'Haite's crew had chosen to liberate them. The galley was darkened when they stepped inside, and L'Haite spoke, "It is all right." Slowly, crewmen began to emerge.  "Captain," one of them came forward.  "It is glorious to see you in good health."  She was the only female that Chakotay had thus far seen on the ship. "And you, my daughter," he said, embracing her tightly.  Chakotay and Tom merely exchanged guarded glances at the reunion, for L'Haite was speaking again and they listened closely.  "Mehric, you will come with me."  Pulling away from his daughter, he said, "Lonni, assemble Crin, Henor, Tomba, and Sarid.  Bring them to me quickly." "Yes, Father."  She turned and was off to search for the four men of whom her father had spoken, squinting in the dim lighting. L'Haite turned to Chakotay.  "There will be two teams one to take the Bridge and the other, our Engineering.  Mehric has told me that Redik has been in my cabin since last evening."  He looked back and forth between Chakotay and Tom.  "He will take both of you there to overthrow him."  It was then that Lonni returned with those whom her father commanded, and they each bowed deeply in respect to their captain.  He touched them all in succession, empowering them.  "Listen, all of you," he said.  Sarid, Henor, you will gather up twenty men and take them to the Engineering while I will go with Crin and two others of his choice to the Bridge.  Tomba, I want you to take the rest and divide them up place so many men on each deck.  We are taking back what is ours." "Yes, sir!" the chorus rose, and then the men dispersed to gather their comrades. L'Haite called Mehric to him.  "Before we move out, I want to concentrate Redik's men.  I think we can do that by sounding the alarm that the prisoners have escaped.  You will go to my cabin and inform Redik of the trouble, but take care to make him believe the problem not dangerous."  Now, he looked at Chakotay.  His voice was low and sullen, and he stepped closer, putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder.  "I am sending you to Redik because it is your captain, who will suffer, if he learns what we are doing.  But, I warn you Commander Chakotay, do not let your haste to bring Captain Janeway to safety and freedom make you foolish.  Even in his faults, Redik is an intelligent man, I told you that before." "Yes," Chakotay responded quietly. L'Haite nodded.  "Then in success, I will see you on the Bridge."  With those final words, he left Chakotay's side and disappeared among the crowd. Mehric approached him.  "Commander, I believe if we enter through the access tubes." "Wait," Chakotay interrupted.  "I told Kathryn I'd let her know what was going on.  I want to give her fair warning to get out of the line of fire." "You will have to do so as I am distracting Redik," Mehric said.  Go through the tubes with your Ensign, and wait for my arrival." "Understood.  Come on, Tom," Chakotay said, beckoning to his pilot.  Mehric saw them into the tubes and then quickly went to his task Part 4 She felt heavy and nauseous, and had it not been for angry voices in the next room, nothing would have roused her from the nightmarish stillness that held her in its cold grasp.  "Who was the fool who allowed them to escape?!"  This was Redik's outraged yell. "I do not know, sir, but we have them contained on the deck," these words were rushed, meant to appease, but she did not recognize the voice.  "I only need a few more men to keep watch.  They are cunning, and--" There was more being said, but a hiss detracted her attention, and through the darkness, she saw two men emerging quickly from the hatchway through which Chakotay had earlier disappeared.  They were in Starfleet uniform. She was on her feet in an instant and in Chakotay's arms in the next.  His voice was raspy and breathless as he told her, "Captain L'Haite is entrapping Redik's men as we speak, but several of them have already turned against him.  This will all be over soon.  Tom and I are going to hide.  We'll wait for your cue to deal with Redik." Everything seemed to be happening so fast, she barely knew how to react, but then she heard Redik wrapping up his conversation, and she heard herself say, "Hurry.  Find someplace to hide." They parted reluctantly, and Kathryn replaced herself on the bed as she heard the doors to Redik's office shutting, knowing that his visitor had left and that Redik would be returning to her.  That thought would earlier have filled her with paralyzing dread, but now, with both Chakotay and Tom here to defend her, she felt the fire of wrath rising in her, higher and higher until it had her tongue in its blazing hold. Now, she would make him pay. When she saw Redik's silhouette enter the room, she sat and turned on the lights.  He looked at her, faintly surprised.  As she stood, she explained, "I heard voices." "Sorry to wake you.  I know how tired you must be," he replied icily and with a smile that sickened her. Her stomach clenched, and she put a gentle hand over her womb to still the child within, ignoring the heaviness of her head.  "My people have escaped."  Kathryn glared at him in heated contempt.  "And now, your plan has failed you." "What are you talking about?" Redik asked incredulously.  "Do you honestly believe that I would let two unarmed men foil my plans?  No, my dear, no.  They have all ready been cornered, and once they've been caught, they will be executed."  He started forward.  "So, you see, I have not only won, Kathryn, but have also achieved more than I had thought possible when I began.  Within a day, your life will be mine, your child's life will be mine, your ship will be mine, the entire Promaran Empire will be mine!" "But, you've overlooked one minute detail, Redik," Kathryn said, grinning slyly, confidence returning. "What's that?" "You've underestimated my men's influence over your crew." "They have no influence over my crew," he said, laughing as if he were relieved of a threat that had never been.  "And if once they did, it will not matter when they are dead." Kathryn let herself smile now.  "Oh, Redik I'm going to enjoy proving you wrong." He inched closer to her and brushed his hand across her cheek.  "You?" he asked, dangerously close to her.  "Haven't you learned your lesson yet?  You are only the captain's woman-everyone on board knows this."  His voice became even more sinister as he said, "Another day will prove it to you as well." Kathryn could barely control her nausea.  "Another millennia wouldn't prove that to me.  And fortunately, my husband isn't very convinced of it, either." Redik's face darkened.  "What-" The words were unable to leave his mouth; before he was able to speak another syllable, Chakotay and Tom rushed from their hiding place.  Redik moved for his only bargaining chip, but she slipped out of his reach as Chakotay dove for him.  He wrestled him to the ground, and Tom aimed a phaser. "Chakotay, I've got you covered," Tom said quickly. Chakotay pulled himself away from Redik and stood.  "Take him out of here," he growled at Tom. Tom pulled Redik to his feet, but Redik resisted, shouting, "My men will not allow this to happen to me!" "A few days ago, they may not have, but you misjudged their loyalty to a tyrannical leader," Kathryn said angrily. Chakotay spoke up.  "They were more than happy with the immunity L'Haite and I proposed to give them in return for their loyalties." Redik sneered.  "It isn't over yet." "I'm afraid it is," Chakotay said, motioning to Tom. As Tom dragged him toward the door, Redik called out, "Kathryn, I may have underestimated you, but I warn you not to make the same mistake."  The ringing of his voice was cut dead by the sliding of the doors.  Kathryn staunchly stared at the doors until they had closed, and even afterwards, she stared at it, unmoving and contemplating the weight of the threat she had just been dealt.  Chakotay's eyes were shining, but he wouldn't let her see it.  Instead, he took her hand to capture her attention and then held her closely.  She returned the embrace gratefully. "Are you all right?" Chakotay whispered. She shook her head.  "I'm fine." Chakotay pulled away slightly, and laid a hand gently on her abdomen.  "And how about the little one?" Kathryn forced an amused smile.  "Kicking the hell out of my stomach as usual," she said with a short chuckle. They were both silent for a long time before the tears came, and Chakotay rocked her soothingly.  The only thing that would cut short her sorrow was the dimming and sudden total loss of the lighting.  Even the hum of the engines went silent.  Her crying quieted as she gripped the front of his uniform.  "What's going on?" "I don't know." A commotion in the hall drew them to the doors, and after several minutes of working at the doors, Chakotay was able to open them.  "Hello?" he called. A light flashed in his direction.  "Chakotay!"  It was Tom's voice. "Tom, what's going on?" Tom was accompanied by Mehric, who was carrying a wrist beacon.  It was Mehric who spoke.  "I have spoken with the Captain.  Redik's forces destroyed our main power cells, and it will be a while before they can be repaired." "But we've got a bigger problem than that," Tom interrupted.  "Redik got away when the lights went out.  He's somewhere on the deck." "Find him," Chakotay ordered, tightening his arm around Kathryn protectively.           Emergency lighting came on, and the instant increase in visibility was comforting.  Tom and Mehric resumed their search while Chakotay eased Kathryn further into the room, helping her sit on the bed.  She was shaking, grasping him in terror.  Redik's threat had not yet died away in her memory, and even with Chakotay at her side, she feared to see it become reality. Chakotay had not yet had the opportunity to examine her since they had been reunited, and now, he looked over her carefully.  He thought he detected bruises on her upper arms, her lip was cracked in the corner, and her eyes were haunted.  Her hands were like ice within his own, and despite the strength with which he held her he could not calm the shivers that controlled her. Kathryn rested her head against his chest, trying to block out the pain that assaulted her on every front.  Whether from Redik's beating, her pregnancy, or a combination of both, she could barely keep silent, and she waited in terrified anxiety for Tom to tell her that Redik was once again contained.  It was during that slightly comforting thought, that a pain greater than what she had been enduring seized her, and a cry escaped her mouth.  Chakotay slid back.   "Kathryn?" he asked, standing and urging her to rest against the pillows. She could only grip his hand tightly, her words lost among squeaks of pain.  Her hands went to her swollen abdomen   "Oh oh, God, Chakotay."  She squirmed painfully. "Paris!" Chakotay bellowed, looking at his wife in terror.  He turned to the doors as the pilot's running footsteps halted at the doors, still ajar. "Chakotay, what is it?" he asked, coming forward. "Kathryn.  There's something wrong.” Tom stepped around Chakotay.  "Captain, take deep breaths," he said, quickly examining her.  She lay still on the bed now, taking short gasps of air and gripping Chakotay's hand.  A moment later, Tom looked up.  "Captain, you've gone into labor." "Please tell me it's false labor," she whispered hoarsely. "No such luck." "Tom, it's too early," Chakotay said gruffly, pulling on the younger man's shoulder to get his attention. "There's nothing we can do about that.  Her water's broken, and she's already started to dilate." Mehrik entered the room.  Chakotay turned to him.  "Contact your Captain.  Tell him we've got a woman in labor, and we've got to get her back to Voyager now."  Mehrik pressed his wrist comm.  "Mehrik to L'Haite." "L'Haite here." "Sir, Captain Janeway has gone into labor," as if to prove it, Kathryn growled fiercely as another contraction tore through her.  Mehrik shifted uncomfortably.  "I believe we will be unable to make it to the medical bay.  Can Voyager be contacted?" "Standby." Through their tense conversation, Chakotay and Tom tried to ease Kathryn through her contraction.  Chakotay began to demonstrate lamause breathing but halted when Kathryn shot an icy glare at him. Tom tried to help.  "Chakotay, why don't you start gathering things we'll need.  Maybe some clean towels, anything sharp to cut the umbilical cord, if it should come to that.  Some water for the Captain." "Right," Chakotay said, kissing Kathryn's forehead reassuringly and then detaching his hand from Kathryn's death grip and scurrying around the quarters. "Just keep breathing, Captain," Tom said, trying to take her attention away from Chakotay and the pain.  Her eyes turned on him then, and a barely audible, "Stow it," was grumbled before the contraction eased, and she leaned back against the pillows.  "They're awfully close together, aren't they?" she asked breathlessly. "Yes," Tom said anxiously. Captain L'Haite's response cut off any more conversation. "Mehric.  L'Haite.  Voyager is limping toward us at a little over quarter impulse power.  I've got everyone I can working on getting us up and running, but there's no telling how long it will take." "Understood, Captain.  Mehrik out." "At a quarter impulse, it'll take them hours to get here," Tom said to Chakotay as he approached, setting the few items he'd been able to gather on the bed next to Kathryn.  "I don't think we have that long." "But, she could be in labor for hours the Doctor told us that," Chakotay said. "With the way's she's progressing, I don't think it'll be more than two.  And, that's pushing it, Chakotay," Tom warned. "Can we take a shuttle?  Meet them halfway?" Kathryn suggested, looking between the two men. "The closest shuttlebay is three decks down," Mehrik supplied. "We'd never get you there.  I don't want to jostle you," Chakotay said.  "We'll just have to bide our time." "Oh, that's certainly easy for you to say" Kathryn began to chide when she doubled over in pain.  "Oh!" Chakotay pushed her back so that she was lying against the pillows, and Tom began to count.  When he had reached sixty and she was still in pain, he feared the worst, and began to examine her.  He placed a hand on Chakotay's shoulder. "Chakotay--" Both Chakotay and Kathryn looked at him sweat sliding down her forehead as she winced. "She's bleeding." Kathryn huffed painfully and pulled on Chakotay's sleeve.  "Chakotay" "What does that mean?" he asked Tom. "It means the baby is in distress," Tom said quickly, Mehrik hovering over his shoulder. "What can we do?" Chakotay spoke for his wife as he moved to put an arm around her shoulders to quiet her sobs of pain and worry as she writhed on the bed. "There's only one thing to do deliver." "But you can't do that until she's dilated." "That's our problem.  She's nowhere near 10 centimeters."  Tom stared at him seriously, uncomfortably speaking above his captain's moans of torture.  "But, if we don't deliver the baby soon, it'll die.  And, the Captain's likely to follow." Chakotay squeezed his wife tightly.  "What options do we have?" "Only one that I can think of.  cesearn section." Chakotay thought too slowly.  "That'll save the baby but what about Kathryn after you've finished?" "I don't know," Tom admitted softly. Kathryn pulled Chakotay's face toward her.  Her own face was ghostly white with pain, even her lips having lost their color as she pursed them together.  "Chakotay," she forced out.  "The baby" "I can't lose you" "You're going to lose us both if you don't do." Kathryn tensed and tears spilled from her eyes as searing contractions took control of her body. Tom leaned forward.  "You have to make the decision now," he said urgently. Chakotay barked at him, "How the hell can I choose--" They began arguing, Mehrik stepping in to try to mediate.  Kathryn lay all but forgotten on the bed, agony forcing her head from side to side while her mind, numb though it was, tried to focus.  Her arm flew to the side, and as she grabbed the sheets, gathering them into her clenched fist, a cold object fell against her arm. Her eyes opened wide, her hand groping the sheets until she had a hold of the item. The knife. She dragged it along the bed, closer to her, and with thoughts of saving her baby, her little one, forcing strength into her fatigued muscles, she pulled the knife up to her stomach.  The motion caught Chakotay's attention, and he immediately grabbed for the knife, but Kathryn had it by both hands.  It took both Tom and Chakotay to pry the weapon that would be a life-saving tool from her hands. Her effort exhausted her, and she cried as she collapsed against Chakotay.  "Please Chakotay the baby please." Chakotay's own eyes were quickly filling with tears, and hesitantly, he abandoned the knife to Tom.  "Do it," he whispered. Tom nodded, looking to Mehrik.  "You're going to have to help me.  Chakotay, you'll have to hold her down." As Tom and Mehrik prepared, Chakotay positioned himself appropriately above Kathryn so that she couldn't see what was going on, and gazed into her eyes.  "Kathryn?" he whispered. Her eyes were glazed and vacant.  "I somehow never pictured" she tried to say as her eyes drifted closed. "I know, I know." Suddenly, her body jarred, and her eyes flew open, her mouth falling, but no sound coming out.  From behind him, Tom whispered, "Chakotay, we're cutting." Chakotay placed his creased forehead to Kathryn's.  "Breathe, Kathryn," he gently reminded. Her hands held fast to the front of his uniform and a gasp emerged from her parted lips. "Shhh, shhh easy," Chakotay comforted.  He could hear the two men behind him whispering to each other, could hear the sounds of Tom delving into Kathryn's flesh to retrieve their child, could hear Kathryn's tiny whimpers as she fought to stay conscious long enough to see her baby, her precious baby. And, then he heard nothing. Then the sound of Mehrik moving off quickly and Tom walking away.  Chakotay looked up as Tom moved off to the left, a small, silent bundle in his arms.  Kathryn's head lolled to the side to try to catch a glimpse of the baby, but Tom's back prevented it. "Chakotay" she croaked "Go." As Mehrik returned, hurriedly tending to Kathryn, Chakotay quickly headed for Tom's side.  "Tom--" he said quietly, stepping up beside him and gasping. Tom was hunched over the baby, clearing its mouth and nose and then hurriedly attempting resuscitation.  Chakotay watched in horror as his child his baby his daughter slowly slipped away into the night. For minutes Tom tried.  And Chakotay watched.  And Mehrik nursed.  And Kathryn fought.  And then, slowly, tears falling from his eyes, Chakotay lifted the lifeless body of his daughter into the air and wept more bitterly than he ever had.  The hope that had been in Kathryn's eyes fell away with her tears as she saw her husband and child, both shattered and broken before her.  Without conviction, she succumbed to oblivion, her eyes closing tightly.  She hoped they would never reopen. ***** The holographic Doctor stood at the doors to Sickbay with what was certainly not holographic worry as he waited for the gurney containing the captain's body to enter Sickbay.  He was afraid of what he would find.  Of course, he had been told what had happened, but he knew it would be no preparation for seeing what he was soon about to see.  So now, he paced Sickbay, frustrated that he could not greet his patient in the shuttlebay because of his mobile emitter failure, waiting to be handed a hopeless cause. Tom Paris and an officer from the other ship, Mehric, entered hurriedly, wheeling the stretcher upon which Kathryn's lifeless body lay nearly unmoving, save a few shallow breaths every several moments.  The Doctor helped them carefully place her on a biobed and was enabling the medical dome when Chakotay slowly entered, clasping his dead child to his chest. The Doctor looked at Tom with a raised and disdainful eyebrow as he ran the medical tricorder over Kathryn's body.  Tom explained, "He wouldn't let us touch her.  What would you have done?" The Doctor just continued his scans.  "The laser scalpel, please." Tom grabbed it from the cart and handed it off to the Doctor, taking the tricorder from him as he did so.  He made a move to assist the surgery, but the Doctor shook his head.  "Scrub up first.  She's been exposed to enough health hazards already." Paris nodded wordlessly and walked across Sickbay to the sonic cleanser.  He ran his hands under the sound waves quickly but thoroughly, and within minutes he was once again at the Doctor's side to help with the surgery.  Mehric had fallen back to some forgotten corner of the Sickbay unnoticed as Chakotay stared at the wall, tears falling silently, slowly down his cheeks. The mourning father noticed the sounds of hushed anxiety coming from his wife's direction but stifled his own voice.  The baby girl he cradled in his arms was silent and still.  He rocked her and hummed to her, thinking of all the times he had hoped he would share with his daughter and his wife in the coming years.  Uncontrollably lapsing into the fantasy that he would someday be able to do those things anyway, he imagined that this was a nightmare, and he would wake up to find Kathryn sleeping peacefully next to him, their child still alive and thriving in her womb. "L'Haite to Mehric." Chakotay's eyes followed the lines of the ceiling and down the wall against which Mehric was leaning uncomfortably.  Quietly, the man lifted his wrist and spoke into his race's version of a communicator.  "This is Mehric." "I need you back over here.  We've found Redik." At the mention of that name, something inside Chakotay snapped.  Suddenly, everything he saw was red.  Red as the hue of his worthless uniform.  Red as the feathery tuft of hair upon his daughter's head.  Red as the blood of his wife on his hands.  Red as he imagined Redik's heart to be when he ripped it from his body.  The room blurring, he carefully, reverently, laid his child on the bed behind him, and with hasty steps he followed Mehric's path from Sickbay.  His departure was unnoticed.  When he caught up with Mehric, they were entering the transporter room.  Mehric turned, surprised.  "Commander." "Let's go." "Commander, I cannot--" "I'm going with you," he growled, stepping up onto the padd, not leaving any room for argument.  As Mehric took a place beside him, Chakotay glared at the transporter chief.  "Energize." The moment they re-materialized on the other ship, Chakotay turned to Mehric.  "I want to see him." "Commander," Mehric said softly, respectfully, "You are in no state to see him presently.  If you wait and return to your ship I'm sure you are needed" Chakotay stepped forward, a menacing step of a desperate man.  His voice was low and demanding.  "I want to see him." Mehric stared at him for a few moments, but didn't know how else to respond except by saying, "Follow me." The men walked in silence, a harsh, tense silence that seemed to permeate the entire ship.  Five sections and two decks they walked in that silence until they came to the cell in which Chakotay and Tom had just under a day ago been placed.  Chakotay's fists were clenched in unmitigated rage as Mehric opened the door, and motioned the guard away. Redik sat inside, brooding to himself, but at the sound of the door, he looked up.  Chakotay's eyes blazed, but somehow he held his ground while he waited for Redik to get to his feet.  Their gazes were locked, hatred radiating between them, and the dead silence that had seized Chakotay's thoughts from the moment he held his daughter in his arms for the first time crashed down around him at the sound of Redik's remorseless voice. "Is she dead?" Chakotay lunged for his throat, tears streaming down his face.  He quickly and effortlessly overpowered the other man, for in rage, violence is made simple and is easily justified.  Mehric made a move to come forward, but a firm hand on his shoulder held him back.  The young officer turned to see Captain L'Haite shaking his head.  So, the two Promarans stood silent witness to Chakotay's pain. However, as Redik's life slipped through Chakotay's blood red fingers, the tortured father and husband's blood red vision slowly began to clear.  He had come here so ready to take Redik's life in payment for his daughter's, but how would he explain this act to Kathryn, to the crew to himself?  This is the kind of anger he had spent his life fighting, the kind of anger Kathryn had taken away with one gentle touch of her hand.  He wouldn't give this man the satisfaction of resurrecting it. Swallowing hard, he loosened his grip on Redik and let the man fall to the floor, gasping for air.  Chakotay turned from him without another word and walked past a surprised Mehric and L'Haite to the transporter room. He was one step closer to healing. ***** When Kathryn opened her eyes for the first time, Chakotay was there.  When she closed them again and slipped back into her coma, he was there.  When the Doctor ordered him to get some rest, still Chakotay was there.  Voyager had long since left Promaran space.  Captain L'Haite had given them the needed help to repair their engines and saw them off with a sympathetic heart and the assurance that Redik would come to justice.  It had been a week since then, and the ship was silent and tense.  The crew looked constantly to Sickbay, to their two commanding officers, and to the Doctor for signs of hope.  Finally, the Doctor began to see improvement, and tension eased just slightly. And, through it all, Chakotay was there--watching, hoping, praying for his wife and trying to come to grips with everything that had happened. The Doctor had told him that the bruises and cuts on Kathryn's body had been inflicted by a heavy physical assault and that the assault had brought on a recurrence of the placenta previa Kathryn had experienced earlier in the pregnancy.  With the resources available, they were lucky they hadn't lost Kathryn as well, but Paris' attempts to keep her blood loss to a minimum had saved her life, though Paris himself berated his actions daily with the charge that he had not saved the baby.  Guiltily, shamefully, he came to monitor Kathryn's progress every day after his duty shift on the Bridge, and as the haggardness of his appearance grew, Chakotay worried about him. One day, when Paris came in and stationed himself at the monitors, Chakotay left Kathryn's side and put a hand on his junior officer's shoulder.  "Tom." Paris wouldn't look up from the console.  "What do you need, Chakotay?" he mumbled. "You need to get some rest." He shook his head.  "When we're sure the Captain's out of the woods." Chakotay squeezed his shoulder.  "Tom," he said gently. Sickbay was still and quiet, and Paris began tapping at the console, checking Kathryn's vitals from the past few hours for comparison.  He knew what Chakotay was going to ask him, and as he worked, the answer came softly, "I went back to my quarters that night after we operated.  B'Elanna was waiting for me."  Chakotay noticed that a lonely tear dropped onto the workstation above which Paris stood.  "She's pregnant." Chakotay's voice caught in his throat.  After a moment, he said sincerely, "That's wonderful, Tom." Paris grunted harshly.  "How am I going to tell the Captain?  What is it going to sound like to her?  'I'm sorry I wasn't able to save your baby, ma'am, but look on the bright side, I'm going to be a father.'"  Bitterly, he walked to Kathryn's bedside and loaded a hypospray, injecting the medication gently into her bloodstream and watching her sleeping form with great remorse.  "Tom," Chakotay said with firm gentleness, following him, "I was there.  You did everything you possibly could have.  No one here faults you, and no one here would want you to deny the pleasure and wonder of becoming a parent.  Least of all Kathryn." "You were there, so how can you, of all people, say that?" "I don't blame you, Tom."  Chakotay leveled each word with conviction.  "You have to stop blaming yourself." Paris' eyes were shining.  "I don't know if I can.” "You will."  Chakotay clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly.  "Go spend some time with your wife, Paris.  That's an order." Paris looked down at his captain one last time before responding softly, "Aye, sir."  Then he left Sickbay and was gone the rest of the day.  He was back the next day, but he looked a little better, even offered Chakotay a hopeful grin.  It was the beginning of the healing, and Chakotay took another step toward his own recovery.  So, he returned his attention and prayers to his wife. He knew they didn't have an easy road ahead of them--he and Kathryn.  The Doctor had also told him that she wouldn't be able to have children.  Of course, there were alternative methods, treatments, and surgeries, but Chakotay knew Kathryn and so knew that there would be no more children for them.   But despite everything, after a few more anxious days had passed, and Kathryn startled herself awake with a small cry, Chakotay was there. But by the hollow, dim look he found as he stared into her eyes, it seemed that Kathryn wasn't there at all. Part 5 Janeway sat quietly in the Mess Hall picking at the food in front of her.  The Doctor had insisted that she eat, but she didn't seem to have the stomach for it.  She was nauseated and tired and sick of herself--sick of the life she had been living for the past two weeks. She pushed the plate away, staring out the oblong window, and she unconsciously rested a hand on her abdomen.  Jerking away from her own touch, she gasped slightly.  "There's nothing there, Kathryn," she whispered to herself. Nothing there.  Seven months of hopeful waiting.  Seven months of excited expectation.  Seven months and nothing to show for it except a distended abdomen, a lonely cradle, and a hollow, aching shell of a woman, who had played a role in the termination of the life she herself had helped to create.  Janeway didn't notice how cold she had grown, didn't realize how bitter and detached her deportment had become.  The crew was sagely keeping their distance from her, but she hadn't noticed that either.  Life seemed to cease wherever she went, a cruel irony that only strengthen her increasing callousness. She stood, her soul once full of purpose, now wandering and disoriented, lost in a world where working was the only thing that could keep it alive. But, was it alive?  Janeway strode across the floor, blind to the eyes of everyone on her, carrying herself proudly and stoically through the parting doors and down the hall.  No one would see the tears.  No one would see the pain.  No one would see the emotion. No one. No one. ***** Chakotay placed himself far from the ship, far from his worries, far from his heartaches and finally rested in the peaceful realm of the spirits. But his heart could not achieve the peace that it sought; his soul was still searching for a cessation of the disquiet that was plaguing it.  There was no relief in the end of suffering for his child, because his own suffering had just begun, and Kathryn's suffering had only been reawakened.  It had been stirred from a hiding place deep in her heart that he hadn't been able to discover until it resurfaced to encompass her, swallowing her in its unrelenting sorrow. Now, he shared that sorrow, but she wouldn't let him help her, wouldn't let anyone help her. "You are troubled greatly, my son." Chakotay opened his blood-shot eyes, grateful for the friendly voice he had been hoping to hear.  "Yes, father." Kolopac widdled some wood in his hands, patiently waiting for Chakotay to be comfortable enough to bring his discord into the light of the spirits.  Chakotay was content to watch him for a few minutes though--watch his father's strong yet gentle hands work carefully with wood, shaping and molding it skillfully in much the same way he had shaped and molded Chakotay's life and mind. "My daughter." Kolopac continued to widdle silently.  With a pleased look on his face, he asked, "Kathryn has had the child?" "She's dead, father." Kolopac's hands ceased their activity, and slowly, he began to set his work on the ground beside him.  He looked up at Chakotay gravely.  "I am sorry, my son." Chakotay glanced away.  He didn't want sympathy, he wanted an explanation. "You are worried for your daughter, but I sense there is something deeper." Chakotay longingly looked into his father's eyes.  "I want to be happy for her.  I know that she has gone to the spirits, and that she will remain with them in glory."  His words became filled with exigency.  "But, I don't understand.  Why was she taken from us?  Why now, before she was even given the chance to live?"  "Because the spirits had a different plan for her.  It was your plan that she would live and grow among the corporeal and the mortal.  Instead, the spirits have led her to her true course, the path that she was destined to follow from the moment she was conceived." "But--" "No, Chakotay," Kolopac stopped him.  "Do you trust the spirits?" "Father--" "Do you trust them, Chakotay?" "Of course.  But...."  His voice was choked off by the threat of tears.  "But, why?" Kolopac smiled sadly.  "That is something neither of us can know.  We must trust in the spirit's intentions."  He paused for a moment.  "You must not worry.  I have seen her." Eyes growing wide, Chakotay straightened. "She is quite boisterous, I must admit--not unlike her father," Kolopac said with a wry grin. "Or her mother," Chakotay added quietly.  He was afraid to ask the next question.  "May I see her?" Kolopac's forehead creased as he took a deep breath.  "Someday, you will, Chakotay, but today is not that day."  Kolopac smiled as if gratified.  "I am proud that she is my granddaughter.  She will do well on her journey, my son." Chakotay felt a small measure of relief.  His father had always led him on the right path, so should he himself wish that his own daughter would not follow hers?  Yes, he trusted the spirits; his faith was undaunted. Relief vanished, however, with one thought of his sullen, listless wife. "Kathryn has not accepted the path your daughter has taken." Chakotay's gaze had fallen, but he looked back to Kolopac immediately upon hearing these words.  His father's steady gaze gave him courage to continue.  "She has fallen into the darkness, father, and she won't allow me to guide her back into the light." Kolopac bowed his head.  "It is difficult for parents when they lose a child, I know, but especially for the mother.  You must let her find her own way.  If she does not seek the light, then you cannot force her to come into it." "I have to help her, though.  I can't stand to see her slipping away from me." "She loves you, Chakotay, does she not?" "I know she does." "Then this 'slipping away' that you speak of can never happen.  You must not doubt her ability to heal on her own; she is stronger than you think." "I know how strong she is, but doesn't marriage mean that the husband and wife share in each other's happiness and well as pain?" Chakotay argued. "Marriage also means knowing when to let go.  You can mend an eagle's broken wing, my son, but the eagle must choose whether or not to fly." Chakotay's head dropped, Kolopac's words resounding in his mind.  It made sense to him now, and because of his father, not only was his faith in the spirits renewed but also his faith in his love. "You must be patient, Chakotay," Kolopac said.  "And someday, she will choose to fly again." With these words his father left him, and Chakotay was back in his quarters, sitting on the floor alone.  His heart felt relieved of the burden it had borne for two long weeks.  Two weeks may as well have been two centuries for how slowly they seemed to pass. The doors opened briskly to admit Janeway, who was walking rather quickly. Chakotay got to his feet hurriedly.  "Kathryn, I--" She stopped only for a moment, to stare at him without recognition.  "I'm really very tired, Chakotay.  I think I'm going to turn in early."  Not waiting for his response and not expecting one, Janeway headed into the other room.  Chakotay didn't follow her, even though he desperately wanted to share his newfound peace with her.  She would be all right, and then she would come to him so that they could rejoice for their daughter.  Rejoice, and not mourn, because she was with the spirits; she was following her predestined path. He sat back down quietly in silent prayer for his wounded eagle. ***** Janeway took off her uniform jacket, hanging it over a chair as she kicked off her shoes.  It had been a long day, but then, they were all long days now, lasting for what seemed an eternity and fading into nightly ordeals of waking in cold sweats and bouts of shivering that wouldn't be calmed in the most sweltering of climates. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she began to take off her socks.  This had become her daily routine--coming off duty, pretending to eat in the Mess Hall alone, blocking Chakotay's attempts at conversation, and undressing to spend a sleepless night beside the man she had betrayed so many times over.... As she placed her socks in a basket, something in the corner of the room caught her attention.  Unsure at first of its origin, she moved closer to investigate.  The object now made itself visible--a tiny wooden cradle that Chakotay had made and that he had obviously begun to dismantle.  When she discovered what it was, she halted, struggling for the control on which she had relied for survival all her life.  But, visions of Redik and betrayal and blood and pain flashed before her reddening eyes.  Visions of the things she could have had, but never would.  Visions of her love and happiness always being ripped away from her at the moment she began to feel safe and secure. And that control she had been retaining for two weeks, the emotions she had been hiding from everyone, the pain that she wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge erupted with a howl of anger. Janeway reached for one of the wooden boards and with livid fury began the destruction of the rest of the cradle.  With each piece that was shattered, she exuded a frustrated, anguished cry. She felt strong arms grabbing the wood from her hands and faintly detected the shouting of her own name, but she was lost in a frenzied world where only she could exist.  Eventually she allowed the wood away from her and dropped to her knees, feeling dizzy and nautious. Composure was lost. ***** Chakotay jumped up at Janeway's first tormented scream and ran into the next room.  "Kathryn?!" He found her smashing the cradle to pieces.  Bits of wood were flying in every direction of the room as he made his way forward shouting, "Kathryn!" Swiftly grabbing the wooden weapon from her hands, he threw it clear of them.  She fought back with a mad look contorting her face, and then finally let go and dropped to her knees.  Chakotay fell with her, taking her shoulders in a firm grasp and forcing her to look at him. "Kathryn, look at me.  Kathryn!" She stared blankly at him, face unmoved by what she was witnessing in his own eyes.  Then, as if realizing something for the first time, Janeway's face twisted in a conflict of emotions only to succumb in the end to the tears she had not wanted him to see. Chakotay reached out for her, but she resisted and stood, turning away from him.  He stood persistently, "Kathryn--" "Chakotay, don't!" His voice caught in his throat.  "Why are you doing this?  What have I done?" "You haven't done anything," came from Janeway's lips between gasping sobs. "Then, why won't you let me in?" Janeway was silent, back still turned.  Quietly, she whispered, "Because I don't deserve it." "I don't believe you just said that." Janeway whipped around, ashamed and embarrassed.  "Do you have any idea what I did on that ship?" she hissed.  "I betrayed you, Chakotay.  I violated your trust, your faith... your love...." "Kathryn, what are you talking about?  If it's the baby--" "Redik, Chakotay," she spat out.  "I...." She turned from him, unable to continue without capitulating to tears again while Chakotay stood staring in stunned silence.  To be honest, he had suspected something, but he never believed she would keep something like this from him. He felt no anger or disappointment, though, only sympathy for her added suffering.  "You had no choice." "I did." "He threatened you." "I could have damned him to hell." "And with him, us and the entire ship, perhaps even the Promaran Empire."  Chakotay stepped closer to her but stopped short of resting his hand on her shoulder.  "You didn't betray anyone, especially not me.  Do you know how many lives your actions saved?"m She turned slowly to face him.  "I know which life they didn't save," she murmured. Chakotay watched her closely for a few moments and then attempted an embrace, but she shrugged it off. "Please," she said, shaking her head. He stepped away from her grudgingly, remembering his father's words.  "I love you, Kathryn.  You know that." She didn't even acknowledge the words, and he sadly walked from the room and resumed his prayers.  She hadn't heard him, he thought despairingly. Janeway collapsed onto the bed in the next room, sobs wracking her gasping body.  She would have to go on after this and continue as if it had never happened.  Having Chakotay know her disloyalty was excruciating enough, without having the entire ship know that she'd had an affair. Her body mentally and physically ached with despair, and all she wanted to do was sleep.  Sleep and forget.  She closed her eyes, searching for the only way to conceal the pain--unconsciousness.  But then she heard a familiar voice. "What are you going to do?  Sleep your life away?" Janeway's eyes snapped open.  She looked around the room for the person to whom the voice belonged, but was unable to find her. "You can't just stop living because something bad happened to you.  You have to face it." The words were coming to her from her memory, Janeway realized, with astonishing clarity.  At the point in her life that her sister had spoken these words to her, Janeway had been longing for the comfort of unconsciousness to take away her suffering, and for three months, it had almost served its purpose.  But, Phoebe hadn't been content to let Janeway die within herself, and told her as much.  Now, the words that had once sparked her back into the land of living were having the same effect. Janeway stood and walked slowly from the room, and saw Chakotay meditating silently and fervently.  The soul that had just minutes ago longed for sleep now yearned to live again.  She walked quietly forward. Chakotay opened his eyes and in his periphery saw her standing beside him.  He looked up at her; she was staring at him. She sat slowly, facing him.  "I'm sorry." "You don't have to be." "Yes, I do.  But I don't want to be alone anymore," she whispered, controlling her tears. Chakotay opened his arms, and she fell into them gratefully.  He held her tenderly, rocking her with a comforting gentleness while she allowed her tear-filled eyes to brim over onto her cheeks. As they sat there, praying together, finally able to celebrate life instead of languishing it, a tiny infant was met at the entrance of heaven by an unexpected gatekeeper and guided toward her destiny by a firm yet gentle hand. And, in a place where agony and torment had perpetually reigned, a wounded eagle was testing her wings in the golden light of eternal love. FLY Fly, fly little wing Fly beyond imagining The softest cloud, the whitest dove Upon the wind of heaven's love Past the planets and the stars Leave this lonely world of ours Escape the sorrow and the pain And fly again Fly, fly precious one Your endless journey has begun Take your gentle happiness Far too beautiful for this Cross over to the other shore There is peace forevermore But hold this mem'ry bittersweet Until we meet Fly, fly do not fear Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear Your heart is pure, your soul is free Be on your way, don't wait for me Above the universe you'll climb On beyond the hands of time The moon will rise, the sun will set But I won't forget Fly, fly little wing Fly where only angels sing Fly away, the time is right Go now, find the light --Celine Dion's "Fly" The End not really. Email me at KathJ520@yahoo.com. I want to know what you think!