Adventures in Cheeseland

    The tickets for the cat show are as follows: Families, $12.50; Adults, $3.50; Seniors and Children, $2.50; Cows, FREE.
    I got a bad first impression of Wisconsin.  We spent the night at a Walmart in a town called Berloit.  As we were only 30 miles or so from Stoughton, we decided to go to the local library so we could get on the Internet to take care of some banking needs and bill-paying.  The librarian turned out to be a major league asshole.
    "I'm sorry, only those who have library cards may use the Internet."
    "But we're traveling."
    "I can issue a temporary card if you're staying at a hotel in town."
    "We're staying in a camper at Walmart."
    "I'm sorry.  Maybe you should try the college library."
    As we were ushered out the door, I stopped to write a note for the library's suggestion box.  I pointed out that practically every library in the United States allows travelers to use their Internet facilities, that it costs them nothing additional in expenses, and libraries are supposed to serve their communities.  I ended the message with this comment: "YOU SUCK!" and stormed out, hating everything about Wisconsin.  Damned cheese eating rats.
    As we drove north,a thought occured to me.  What kind of name was Berloit?  French.  Who cheated me on this camper?  Frogs.  Maybe, although I hate to say it, George Bush is right about the French.  They do suck.
    When we got to Stoughton, we saw flags again.  Just as Elk Horn had been the land of the Danish, Stoughton was comprised primarily of Norwegians.  Blonde, white people were everywhere.  We stopped at the Chamber of Commerce and two kind ladies showed us where we needed to go for the cat show, and the Stoughton library.  When I told them how shabbily we had been treated in Berloit, they said they had never heard of such a thing."
    Trying to make a friendly kind of joke, I said, "I guess they're all Lutherans in this town, so we'll be treated better than Berloit, huh?"
    The lady smiled, and said we'd be fine here.  And we were.  Stoughton has a beautiful library and a very nice librarian who got us on the Internet right away.  And one more thing--if you ever need to do research on the Vikings, the Stoughton library has practically every book ever written on the subject.
    The library also had materials for three walking tours around the city, information about people owning historical homes and architecture.  We'll probably really enjoy walking around town after the cat show.
    The show is on the local indoor hockey rink.  It looks huge.  One of the show managers has a beautiful blonde farm girl daughter about Freddy's age.  When I pointed out the obvious possibility of making an attractive friend, Freddy said he'd rather go fishing, and off he went to go after carp and buffalo in a nearby stream.





CHAPTER NINE
 


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