Ted Sequitur dragged himself into his 7th period US History class with a tired gaze on his face. Like usual, Ted could barely wait for the end of school especially since today was a Friday. Images of the weekend soon to come rushed through his head taking the place of all the equations he had just remembered from physics. As Ted tiredly lowered himself into his graffiti covered wood desk, his best friend Alan Hominem walked across the room to take the seat next to him.
“Dude, this weekends going to be great. Did you hear Rich Herring is throwing a huge party Saturday” asked Alan.
“Yeah, I can’t wait. I just hope Mr. Eyeque doesn’t give us any homework over the weekend” replied Ted.
Just then Mr. Eyeque strolled into the room carrying his usual pile of books.
“Good day class, I thought since we have been going over Eygptian politics, today we could apply our knowledge to recent topics.”
Thinking this was nothing more than another impediment between him and his weekend Ted let out a moan.
“Well, Tom, if you would like you could write a paper about the similarities and differences between Eygptian and modern politics.”
“No, that’s ok, this discussion sounds like fun” Ted sarcastically replied.
“Ok, if Ted is done, we can begin. I thought we could start with the topic of the Iraq War. Does anyone have any thoughts? I’ll try my hardest not to make any comments.”
Almost instantly Paul Premises hand shot up into the air.
“Paul this is an open discussion, there’s no need for you to raise your hand.” said Mr. Eyeque
“Oh sorry, my mistake, well personally I think that because Iraq has weapons of mass destruction and Saddam Hussein is a known evil dictator we have to subdue him and his regime.”(False or Vague Premise)
“Come on, Paul you don’t know that, your just a stuck up conservative. You have no idea what’s going on.”(Ad Hominem) Alan quickly shouted.
“Now, now Alan, this is a class discussion. There’s no need for that. Give me your demerit card. I’m sorry for that interruption, we can begin again.” said Mr. Eyeque
“Well, I think since the terrorist who attacked us were Muslims and most of the population of Iraq is Muslim we have to invade Iraq.”(Non-Sequitur) said Ted Sequitur.
“We have to be in Iraq because we have to be there, it’s that simple.”(Begging the Question) stated Fred Begging.
“Ha, you’re all wrong if you think we should be in Iraq, why don’t you go there yourself!”(Red Herring) yelled Rich Herring.
“NO, you’re wrong!”
“NO, you are!”
“Shut up Ted!”
With the class shouting at each other, Mr. Eyeque jumped out of his chair and ran to the center of the room.
“Come on guy’s, that’s enough for today. I can not believe you are so uncivilized. Now I want you all to give me your demerit cards.” yelled Mr. Eyeque.
Right then the bell sounded and along with the rest of the class Ted handed in his demerit card and left the class room.
“Wow, I can’t believe our class is so wild.” Ted said to Alan.
“Yeah, I know. But hey, at least it’s the weekend.” answered Alan.
False
or Vague Premise- In the short story, Paul Premise makes the argument that
because a) Iraq has weapons of mass destruction b) Saddam Hussein is an evil
dictator therefore c) America should invade Iraq. Although the second premise
is a pretty solid statement and the conclusion itself is debatable, the first
statement has no real evidence to back it up. Therefore the first premise is
false.
Ad Hominem- Alan attacks Paul for being a conservative and doesn’t
actually make any point. So Alan is attacking the person and not the point the
person is making.
Non-Sequitur-
Ted uses a two premises that are true, a) the
terrorist involved in 9-11 were Islamic and b) most of
Begging
the Question- Fred’s argument that we have to be in
Red
Herring- By telling his classmates to go fight in