chris K.

(tinos)

 

My name is Chris, but my friends call me Tinos. In my life I have done and been many things, but first and foremost I am a complete wanker. I sing and write most of the lyrics for our band, that goes by the name Conshafter, or simply "the band who acts like a bunch of assholes on stage and can't play." I also attempt to play some guitar, but I'm even worse at this than vocals, so usually my bandmates unplug the guitar while I play. I really have no idea what I'm doing on stage, but I do try my darndest to flail around aimlessly and encourage the audience to break things.

I had the good fortune of attending a beautiful college down South where the girls are pretty and everyone is related. At UNC-Chapel Hill I busied myself in many fruitful activities, such as destroying my liver and pretending to be a student. It was here that Dave, my buddy from the crew team, and I decided that being wannabe rock stars was more fun than getting up at 5 am and rowing boats in tights, so we both quit the team in my last semester to actually give this silly dream a go. We quickly recruited some mates with actual talent, played a few shows and hastily recorded a nine-song CD in local Chapel Hill punk rock legend Greg Klaiber's (of Skurvy fame) filthy attic right before I graduated. The CD, Dork Epiphany, accurately sums up our live show experience in that it is barely listenable, through no fault of Greg's, who even drummed on the record (even though he's a guitarist).

My list of musical influences run from SoCal punk and "alternative" (whatever that means) to Celtic music and jazz, 60's Britpop to early 90's East Coast hip-hop. In my car, Weezer and the Pixies are likely to occupy the same CD changer cartridge as Dick Dale, Impulse-era Coltrane, Lincoln, De La Soul and the Cars, hell, even the Everly Brothers. Basically anything and everything. If you listen closely enough, you'll hear references to all of that in our music. Of course that doesn't mean it sounds good.

If the next question is what else do I do in my spare time, the answer would be nothing. I am now out in the wasteland known as Corporate America, in a position that occupies a very large portion of my time. Other than the occasional basketball game, debauched night of chaos, or good book, my energy is spent in the evil pursuit of the almighty dollar or the more meaningful pursuit of catchy tunes. Speaking of books, if you want to understand how I feel about life in general, read anything by Jack Kerouac, a flawed hero of mine and another large influence on my life. I recommend Desolation Angels.

We've hired Richmond producer Craig Nelson to attempt to professionally produce our new effort, Your Day Job, in his studio. Craig is a multi-instrumental genius who possesses more musical talent in his left pinky finger than the rest of the band has in our collective entire body. He has been charged with the arduous, nearly impossible task of making us sound decent. Through the advance of technology and expensive recording equipment, it may be possible. But probably not. Look for it here at this site or on amazon.com in January or February of 2001. What do we sound like? Probably shite. A better question would be: What do we want to sound like? The answer is the Beach Boys on amphetimines and 40 ounce malt liquor. We love the heavy, post-punk garage guitar sound sans the angst, with flashes of melody, psychedelia and hip-hop flavor to keep it interesting. And, for God's sake, no cliched love songs. Basically like Weezer or Pavement. Conshafter: pathetic pop-punk.

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