What indeed? Well, take a look at this lot, because they have a tendancy to be uncannily accurate. Could be useful for anyone who knows the Benchwarmers:
Mike "Bobblehat" Blackmun
"The name Mike has given you a very imaginative, creative mind. You always have new ideas, but too often they are for an easy way out of a difficulty, or an easy way of making money. You do not have the inclination to apply yourself consistently to a job and to reach the fulfilment of your goals through perseverance and hard work. The influence of this name has caused you to feel unsettled emotionally and mentally. You are never satisfied with conditions, because your feelings and desires are so changeable. Hence you seek change in order to have the opportunity for travel, new experiences, and new friends and associates. There are people in your association who influence you unfavourably and mislead you; disillusionment, embarrassment, and bitter experiences then become your lot. You have a very talkative nature and because of it, you could do well in saleswork or in a position where you handle the public. However, you would find any position requiring self-confidence and aggressiveness very trying. You are subject to moods of depression and self-pity, arising in part from a lack of confidence. Nervous tension often affects your solar plexus and stomach area."
Mike was born on the 11th September. His astrology chart for that day says "Conscientious and ambitious, you are thorough and capable in your work; a good planner and competant in executing your plans. You have a keen mind, good judgement and are sincere and honest. You will be a loving mate and parent."
Frank
Frank's birthday is the 4th March (he's asked us to omit the year). His chart says: "Your personality is winning and graceous, but somewhat given to criticising (Mr Cloutman springs to mind....). You are easily influenced, and should try to be bold, diligent and faithful. You are a shrewd judge of people and a generally right in your estimate. You are fond of children."
Shirly
Shirly's birthday is the 26th March and here's what the stars say for her: "you are very positive in your opinions (we're going to win tonight, we're going to win tonight.....) and dislike opposition (Merv the bloody Perv), which is apt to make you bitter. You are generous, but will not allow imposition. You do not invite advances and are rather shy, but when you do yield, you will love with a deep over-powering passion."