Title: Remorse, Reunions and Renewal
Author: TC Amlin
Classification: Harm/Mac, Angst, Drama
Rating: PG.
Disclaimers: JAG and it characters belong to CBS and DB.
Spoilers: This is the sequel to Loves, Life and Loses, most likely want to read it first to make s sense, it starts after Harm has been missing for nearly 4 years as a MIA from after being shot down in war, and Mac is still at JAG HQ serving under AJ.
March 3rd 2004
JAG HQ
0830 EST
Mac came around her desk and headed to the admirals office for their usual Monday morning meeting that started every week since Harm had gone down.
Morning sir, how was your weekend? She asked as she set a stack of files on his desk.
AJ growled a hello as he took a sip from his coffee.
Mac smiled, Alex keeping you up again?
How long does it take for one tooth to come in? Sydney just gets up and walks patiently with him while I nearly pull out what hair I have left.
Mac started to laugh, Just be glad that you dont have 2 that went through that at the same time.
How are Matt and Trey?
Fine as to 3 year olds can be. Mom is in town keeping them for me this week while Dad is at a meeting. They decided to come out early before the boys birthday.
AJ smiled as Mac called Harms parents mom and dad. He knew that without them that she would not have been able to get though the tough pregnancy she had with Harms twin boys. Even though everyone had been there when they came early, it was Trish that held Macs hand everyday till they came home.
He also smiled because through some silent agreement, they called him grandpa. Yes, I am glad that I only have one child at a time to go through teething. I dont remember much of when Francisca went through it.
Could it be because you were in another country at the time? Which brought her back to the reason she had come in the first place. Any news from the hotline?
I was just pulling that up.
He logged online and bought up the POW/MIA website, typed in Rabb along with Navy and waited. Seconds later popped up a screen he had seen to many times but would continue for the young lady in front of him. The site had gone up after the war had started slowing down, it wasnt officially over but the fighting had stopped. The site started just for current missing and killed but after some complaints added everyone from other wars
Name Rank Service Status Date
Rabb, David Lt. Cdr. Navy KIA 06/03/1942
Rabb Sr. Harmon Lt. Navy MIA 12/24/1969
Rabb Jr. Harmon Capt. Navy MIA 10/02/2000
What a list and a waste AJ thought as he read the history of the Rabb pilots. He sensed that Mac could read what he was thinking.
They were only doing their duty. My boys have a lot to live up to. I just hope that they break the chain.
Well with any luck Mac, maybe our sons wont have to go and fight. AJ said as he though he inwardly prayed that Alex would never have to fight for his country even though he wanted him to follow him into the navy.
Wanting to change the subject, I got a call from Harriet last night. She likes her new duty station and that Commander Pike has been very good to her. She has already won 2 cases.
Thats great, how are the boys?
Patrick is growing like a weed and AJ loves pre K school.
It hardly seems like 5 years ago that she gave birth to him right here.
Silently Mac recalled a promise made 5 years ago and how Harm might never know that he fulfilled it.
1800 EST
Rabb Residence
Mac was met and nearly tackled as she came in the door, Mommy, Mommy. Trey and Matt were shouting as they fought each other for her attention.
Mac smiled as she bent over, dropped her stuff and scooped both of them up in her arms, Be careful dear, those two are getting a little big for that, especially at the same time. Trish said as she entered the living room of the house they had finally convinced Mac to buy. Dinner is almost ready.
I know mom, I just wish that they would stay small a little longer. So what did you guys do today with Grandma? She asked as she headed off to her room to change.
She listened to them both babble on while she changed, nodding to this or that as needed and then headed into the kitchen to help Trish with dinner.
Trish had told her time and again how the twins, identical, looked exactly like their father at that age. Both had his blue eyes, his smile and knew how to steal her heart by one turn of their head or just a shrug that Harm used to do when he was caught getting in trouble.
Grandma fixing chicken for dinner. Matt said as he carried around one of the many airplane toys the boys had.
And mash tatos too. Trey added.
Well why dont you two go and play till Papaw gets here and we eat.
A chorus of okay was followed by them running off to the playroom.
How was your day Mac?
Okay, poor AJ and Sydney are dealing with teething. Alex isnt letting them sleep. I told him he had it easy with only one. Otherwise a few new cases came in and they finally set a date for a trial I have coming up.
Trish laughed with Mac as she reached over and turned on the TV to check the news. Frank should be here soon and then well eat.
Anything left for me to do?
You can set she started as the news came across with
.. today in Geneva American negotiators were finally able to get a list of American service personnel who have been missing in action that have actually been POWs. The list is being compared to the KIA/MIA list as it stood when the cease fire was called two years ago ..
Mac and Trish looked at each other, Maybe well know something?
I dont know Mom, whats worse, knowing he could be still be missing or that he is dead or that he has been tortured for the past 3 and half years? It is something I ask myself every night.
I know that you have access to the reports of what they have done to American prisoners, but Harm would fight to come home to you. No matter what he had to suffer.
Mac wiped the few tears that found their way down her cheeks. Every day the pain got a little easier and she knew that if it hadnt been for her sons that she would have gone crazy. They had been her reason to live, to hang until Harm came home. She just hoped that he had held on to their love as a reason to come home.
I know Mom, I know. She said as she found herself in her mother in laws arms.
AJ and Sydneys Residence
1800 EST
Come on Clayton answer the damn phone. AJ said as he paced his kitchen with Alex asleep in one arm.
Webb here.
Clay, it's AJ.
I know what you are calling for and I havent seen the list yet.
As soon as you do.
I know, call you. I really want Harm on that list, too. A copy should be here within the hour.
Call me first so I can go over and see Mac personally.
I want to be there, too.
Then call me as soon as you know.
I will AJ, I will. Later. As Clay hung up the phone.
AJ felt sorry for the young man who had lost a leg below the knee while trying to get information on POWs last year. Mac was never told the real reason but AJ knew. The man had nearly died doing what they all wanted to do, go in and find their friends.
Any news? Sydney asked as she came into the kitchen to help AJ with dinner.
Clay is going to let me know as soon as he has something. How was your day?
Fine, long. I was so glad to see my last appointment leave so I could come home to my two guys here. She said as she played with Alexs foot, smiling the smile only a mother could have for her children. Her gaze caught AJs as she thanked God everyday that he was here safe and sound and not overseas.
"I know what you're thinking. And I'm glad to be here for you too. I have some soup almost ready. So, if you will set the table, we can eat.
How about I take this guy from you and you set the table. As she took Alex from him and walked off humming to him as she went to put him in his playpen.
AJ just shook his head as he walked over to the cabinet and pulled down the soup bowls.
CIA Headquarters
2000 EST
Clay stared out the window of his office as he waited for the fax to come through from the office overseas. He hoped that the news he received would be good news. Hed lost to many friends already.
He remembered the day when he got the news on Harm. A day that he would never forget, a mission he would never forget, a friend he promised he would never forget.
Oct 1st 2000
Are you sure about this, Clay?
Yes, I have it on good authority that the site the Navy has been looking for is that one.
We have already lost several good men, women and planes over that area, I dont want to waste more on bad information.
Sir, I dont deliver bad information.
Fine, pass this on to Navy and let them take care of it then.
Back to the present
My information was good alright, muttered aloud to him self. When he received the post mission report the next night, he had excused himself and had gone and gotten drunk.
When he showed up for work the next day, no one asked any questions and didnt say a word as he volunteered for duty overseas to help find information on the MIAs and POWs. They also hadnt asked any questions when he had asked one favor for his missing friend. Mac never asked either when word of Palmers mysterious death was announced a few weeks later. Clay knew that if he couldnt find or save his friend that he would at least give him peace after death.
Clay nearly jumped when the printer went off, he grabbed the paper as it came out, and sheet-by-sheet he scanned looking for Harmon Rabb Jr. on one of them.
Rabb Residence
2100 EST
Mac sat alone on the back porch pondering what her world would be like in the morning after she found out if Harms name was on that list or not. Would her sons be able to find a peace that their father never had? Would she someday have to fear where they were in following some lead they had found on His whereabouts?
She and Trish had discussed the issue so many times and it was only after she knew her mother-in-law well enough did she give the details of her and Harms trip to Russia. Mac discovered that Harm told his mother enough to ease her pain about his father; his version was that Harm Sr. had died due to injuries from his crash. Trish had known then that Harm wasnt telling all but took what her son told her and left the rest alone, until she asked Mac what they had really found. Mac told her everything that she knew and had seen while helping Harm out. Trish took the news well and thanked Mac for coming clean with her. She told Mac that the last of her demons over her late husband could finally be put to rest.
Now Mac wondered if that would be her in the future, waiting for one of her sons to come clean with her.
Trish brought her out of her fog, Mac, AJ is here along with Clay.
Mac got up and followed her into the living room; it only took her a second to read their faces.
1800 EST
JAG San Diego
About time you got here Marine, I was wondering if you were going to stand me up again? Harriet teased.
Sorry. Got a new case in today that I am sure you will be getting into here soon. A murder on base and that is all I have to say about that. Did you hear the news from the wire? Victor asked her as he handed her cover to her.
No, I have been too busy preparing case notes for the trial I have next week. What was it?
The negotiating team was able to get a complete list of POWs. They are checking it against the list of MIAs and known POWs right now.
Harriet looked over to him and caught the catch in his voice as he spoke. She looked at him with care and understanding, he had been patient with her as she put Bud to rest in her heart and mind. They had been seriously dating for a few months now, the boys loved him and she knew he was in love with her. Have they released any names?
Not to my knowledge. I thought about calling the Admiral and seeing if he heard anything, but I figured I would just wait and call JAG HQ in the morning and see what Jason knows.
Sarah will be beside herself till she knows.
They will take care of her, Harriet. Just like I am here for you. He watched the emotions as they played across her face. What would become of them if Bud were alive? He knew that already, she would go back to him in a second, and he would be happy with that but that didnt keep his heart from breaking any less.
Rabb Residence
0600 EST
Trish felt her heart breaking when she found Mac asleep in the rocking chair in the twins room. The news that Harm was a POW had been both a relief and a source of new pain. Mac hadnt told her any of the reports but the news had said plenty about the treatment of Americans that were prisoners. Though she would never tell Mac she too had often wondered what kind of hell her son was living through.
She left Mac asleep and joined Frank in the kitchen.
How is she doing?
I dont know. I just found her sleeping in the twins room.
She will be okay, and I know that Harm will be okay. Hopefully he will be home soon and he can get back to living the dream life you always wanted for him.
Trish smiled at him. Thank you, I dont know how I would have managed through this without you.
You and Mac would have been just fine, but I wouldnt have wanted to be anywhere else than beside you. I love you.
I love you too.
Same time
Twins room
Mac hated to do it but she needed some time alone, so she had faked being asleep when Trish walked into check on her and the boys. After Trish left she had moved to Trey's bed and wiped the lock of dark hair from his face. The tears came easy once again as the conversation from last night came back.
Last night
Well?
His name is on the list Mac. He has been a POW since about 3 weeks after his crash.
Are you sure, Clay? I dont want to get my hopes up and have them torn apart like the last time. She was immediately sorry for the last comment after the look that came across his face.
Yes, I am. He said digging a piece of paper from his jacket. It isnt the best photo but I know it is recent and it is Harm. Just be ready for what he looks like.
Mac walked over to take it from Clay.
Mac? AJ asked as he stopped her hand in mid reach. Taking a deep breath, he said, He doesnt look good.
She looked at him and gave a nod in understanding. Clay handed her the photo.
Back to the present
It was Harm, but it wasnt her Harm. She could see that there was no light shining in his eyes, that he was just there, just hanging on, not really living but alive.
She looked at her son and wiped the tears from her eyes as she prayed that the man in the photo whose eyes were dimmed would brighten up once he came home to them.
JAG HQ
2 weeks later
March 17th 2004
1200 EST
Mac walked back into the bullpen and headed towards her office. She had won her case but felt no joy in it. Harms status had been upgraded from MIA to POW, but no new news on when he would be released.
Everyone had hoped that it was sign by the Syrians that they were ready to end all hostilities, but the verbal war raged on. She knew that if it hadnt been for Trey and Matt she would have gone herself and freed him.
Colonel.
Yes Myers?
There is a phone call from a lt. commander Simms on line 2 for you.
Thanks. She said as she headed over to her office. Harriet, how are you?
Fine Sarah, I was calling to see how you are? Im sorry I havent called before now but. She stopped and then went on, Victor and I were so happy to see that Harm was listed as a POW.
Victor and I? She knew that Harriet had been seeing someone but it was the first time she had given a name. Are you seeing who I think you are?
Oh, I did let that slip. Yes I am seeing Victor Galindez. He is assigned as detective here in the NCIS office. He got his commission after he left JAG. He asked me out a few time and we have been dating ever since.
Thats great, how are you doing after not seeing Buds name?
Mixed. I wanted him to be on there so bad Mac but I knew that he wouldnt be. When Kate, commander Pike, told me that Harm was I was so happy. I told you he would be coming home sooner or later. Much later than I figured but he will be coming home soon.
I wouldnt have made it through without you, AJ and mom behind me. Oh Harriet, you should have seen the picture of him.
Dont dwell on it. Be thankful that you will get to hold him and introduce him to his sons. He will recover. Just keep reminding yourself of that. I have gotten permission to come out there when he comes home. Free baby sitting in it for you.
I would love to see you and the boys. As soon as I hear anything I will call you.
Just know that Bud is taking care of him and that he will make sure he makes it back.
Thanks Harriet. I really needed your call this morning.
Youre welcome, now get back to work Colonel. She said with a laugh.
Aye aye maam. Later Harriet.
Bye Mac.
Good to see that you can still laugh Mac.
Hello Clay, anything new? She said as she set the phone down.
Yes and no. Good and bad. He said as he hobbled in on his crutches and took a seat.
What the bad?
That Harm was his usual self over there and was treated worse than the rest during his debriefing sessions. It seems the he pissed off his keepers and set an example for the rest of the prisoners since he was the officer in charge.
Being himself I see. Shouldnt surprise me at all. She said with a cringe when she thought over the types of sessions he went through.
The good is great and if you can have your bags packed and ready in an hour, I have a ticket for 1 to Germany.
What do you mean? she asked in shock, could he really be coming home?
The prisoners are supposed to be released some time today, 128 men and women will be flown to Ramstein and seen there before they are flown home 3 days later. I could only swing one ticket and I dont think that Harm could handle more than you right now anyway since he doesnt know hes a father.
I dont know what to say Clay.
Say nothing and get going or we are going to miss our flight. And I will take care of AJ for you. Here is the ticket and gate information.
Mac got up grabbing her notes and stuffing her briefcase as she headed out the door, but not before hugging Clay and giving him a kiss. She waited till she had gotten on the elevator before she let the tears start down. Not much longer now Flyboy. Was all she could think of?
AJ walked out to meet Clay as he watched the elevator doors close behind Mac. How long will she be gone?
Depends on how long you will let her.
When are you going to forgive yourself Clay?
When he is home, in one piece and is well. I owe him more than that, but it is a start.
My God man, you lost a leg trying to free him, forgive yourself so you can get well too. Harm would have flown that mission no matter what and he wouldnt have wanted any of his friends to make the sacrifices you have in trying to pay him back. It was war Clay.
Clay just looked at AJ and gave him a sad smile, thanks, I have a plane to catch.
Call me.
Is there any other order you have for me than call me Clay? That is all I seem to get from you besides bring them home in one piece.
None that I can think of and at least you obey them. AJ stuck out his hand and Clay shook it before he headed over to the elevators.
Harm heard the key open the door to his cell, he knew something big was up when the normal silence of the day had been broken an hour before hand. He had heard his men tapping questions back and forth between the cells as speculation grew.
Up.
Slowly he got up and headed for the doorway, turning so that they could cuff his hands and was surprised when none were place on.
Come.
Not knowing if it was a new plot so they could beat him again, Harm followed. Minutes later he was joined as the guards added to the line he was in as they headed for the open courtyard. The looks of fear between his men and the unanswered questions of what was going on bounced from man to man. Only once before had they been together outside as a group, it was they way their keepers had showed them what would happen if someone escaped. They all watched in awe, fear and sadness that day as two navy ensigns were beaten to death after trying to escape and then the guards had randomly picked 10 others and they had been beaten to death too. Harm was named officer in charge and had given the order he had hated. No one was to escape unless they all could.
Captain Rabb, front and center.
Walking slowly, giving into his right leg, Harm came before the formation.
A treaty has been signed for your release. There are new clothes along the walls by the showers. You may clean up and change. The flight out of here lands in an hour. So I suggest you and your men hurry.
No one moved.
I am not fooling you. The guards will leave and give you privacy. It has been fun Mr. Rabb. You are a worthy opponent. I wish you the best as you return home. The man that they called Habi said as he saluted Harm and ordered his men to leave.
Harm turned back to the formation, Well gang, lets get cleaned up and go home.
What if it is a trick sir?
Well Traybor, if it is then we will die clean and in new clothes. We will go by seniority here in the prison. And females can use the stall on the left. Lets hustle.
He wants to get home to Mac. Harm heard as the crowd headed carefully looking for the whole thing to be a joke.
If she is still there waiting for me. His promise to Mac had become the backbone for everyone else. They all wanted to know what kept him going and he told them that a promise to the woman he loved kept him going. He never told what the promise was but he did say that he had never broken one with her before and he didnt plan on starting now.
She was also known as the reason he never cried out, whimpered or begged when he was being beaten, the minute the whip or cane came down on his back, he was dreaming. Dreaming of the children he and Mac would have one day. Sons and daughters that would laugh and climb all over him for a bedtime story, sons and daughters that would learn to fly and go to the navel academy. It was the dreams of their faces that kept him from giving up along with the face of their mother, a beautiful brown eyed marine. I just hope she hasnt given up on me.
1100 am local
Germany
Mac couldnt believe that she had slept all the way over but knew that it had been one of the best naps she had had in what seemed like forever. She looked over to Clay who seemed lost in thought. She knew he felt guilty over something about Harm but after a word with AJ let it go.
Ready Mac?
More than you know. What is the word?
They will be landing about an hour after we do. All 128 on the list have been accounted for and all but a few are able to walk. The press has gotten word but wont be able to film anything until the military is ready. They know these guys have had a hard time.
An hour. The past 4 years hardly seem real now.
Are you ready for what he might be like?
I would like to think so, I have read up on the men who came home from Nam.
I know some people who will be there if you need them, along with all of your friends. I called Harriet back while I was waiting for you at the airport. She, Victor and the boys will be there when you get home.
I dont know why you are doing all of this, I mean I have some idea, but you can stop. We forgive you for what ever you did or didnt do.
I appreciate that , but,
No buts Clay, you have paid the price for your deed. Start living your own life after this as Harm and I start ours.
I will try Mac. He said with the best smile he could muster.
They didnt say anything else until they were off the plane and headed towards the airstrip the POW plane was due to land on.
30 minutes later she was standing among the other spouses of those coming home. They government had allowed the wives and husbands to come; other family member s would be reunited when the group flew home later in the week. A quick look around showed a group of about 50 or so beside her.
A cheer went up as the Air force 747 came in for a landing.
On board, the men and women strained to look out the windows as they cried. Home, they were finally going home, and for at least a few days, they were on home soil.
Sir.
Yes, Macmillan?
I get to be the lucky one here. We all wanted you to know that we wouldnt have made it through with out you. Your bravery and you guidance is the reason we get to have a second chance, and to let you know that we all made a promise to each other. Once we were set free that we would thank you and let you know that we were proud t be under your command. Even if it wasnt the most ideal command.
Harm stood up and found the entire plane standing up, in one fluid motion the entire group saluted him. With tears running down his face he returned the salute.
At ease, and thank you. I know how much each of you gave up the past few years, and the cost of following some of my orders cost you as well. But let it be known that I have never served or will ever serve with a greater bunch of men and women than I have for the past 3 years.
When the plane finally stopped there wasnt a dry eye on the plane. A young airman finally broke the quiet, excuse me sir? But you can debark now. There are some busses waiting to take you over to the hospital to be checked out.
Grabbing the cane he had been given, Harm walked out of the plane to the cheers of the crowd. He slowly made his way down the staircase to the tarmac, and saluted the general that stood there to great him. Welcome home Captain.
Thank you sir. He whispered out.
Harm was lost in thought as he made his way over to where the busses were parked, and missed the Marine that was standing there among the well wishers.
Only for a second, it was when she stepped forward that he saw her. And in what seem longer than that until she was in his arms, nearly knocking him over.
Same time as the men debarked
Mac watched with tears in her eyes as she saw him limp down the steps and stiffly salute the General waiting at the bottom and then he leaned heavily on the cane as he crossed the area between the plane and the busses. His head hung low and so lost in thought that he missed her until she stepped forward. It was that one step that she took that dragged him from the abyss he had fallen into, made the darkness in him start to disappear and a spark of life go through him as he saw her, and it didnt take many steps for her to run into his arms and pull him close.
He held on tight, dropping the cane as he pulled her closer to him as mixed emotions ran through him. He held on tight as she cried into his chest.
I love you Harm. She finally got out as she pulled back enough to look at his face. I missed you but I knew that you wouldnt break a promise and that you would come home to me.
You had a lot more faith than I did Sarah. He finally whispered.
I had enough for both of us, and more. I am so glad you are home. I have so much to tell you.
Why dont you let him get checked out first Mac before you shock him? Clay said as he came up besides them among the chaos of the crowd.
Harm looked Clay over as he took Clays out stretched hand and shook it. Good to see you too, Webb.
Welcome home, Captain. I have a car over here for you and Mac.
Thanks, Clay, I dont know what I would have done without you. Mac said as she leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Come on Flyboy, time for a check up and a good meal.
Mac, I am going to call AJ and the others and let them know that he is in your care and I will meet back up with you later.
I appreciate that, Clay. Tell Mom that I will call later and check up on everybody.
I will send them kisses too. Clay said smiling as he left.
Let's go Harm. Mac said as she tugged on the loose-fitting jacket he had on.
Harm followed her to the waiting limo and got inside with her, never letting go of her hand, too afraid that he would wake up and she would be gone, just another dream.
An hour later
Mac hated to leave him while he was examined but was left with little choice by the doctors in charge. She told him she was going to call home and would be back shortly. After getting back to the hotel, she called Trish and cried.
Oh Mom, what did they do to him? It's Harm but it isnt. Hes lost so much weight and scars on his back. I know he didnt catch me staring but they must have . She said as started sobbing again.
Sarah, honey, he is alive and he is home. The scars will never fade but they can be put behind you. The outer scars you see arent the ones that are hurting him right now, its the inner scars.
I know, I know, but I saw the haunted look in his eyes, Im not sure if he will ever get over them.
Trish sighed as she wished she were there beside Mac to give her daughter the comforting embrace of a mother. Mac, listen to me. My son is very strong, he wouldnt have made it through the past few years if he wasnt strong and in love with this terrific marine I know. I also know that this marine has made it through hell and back so she should be strong enough to help him. And I know that you are just having a weak moment because of the relief of having him in your arms. As soon as you get back to the hospital, hug him and never let go. Tell him about the twins and see the light you are looking for come back, tell him that everyone is here waiting for him and that we take whatever he has to give and in his own time.
Mac wiped the tears from her now smiling face, Thanks Mom, I didnt know how much I needed you till just now and I know where Harm gets his inner strength from, too. I just needed someone to tell me it is all going to okay.
This line is always open dear. Tell my son I will see him in a few days and I will tell his sons that their mommy is bringing their daddy home as a late birthday present.
I love you Mom. And thanks again.
Love you too Mac.
Mac set the phone back down and opened up her suitcase for a pair of jeans and a navy sweatshirt she received for Christmas as a joke from her sons from their grandmother. She wore it with pride and after a once over she grabbed her purse and set out for the hospital.
Ramstein Hospital
Harm sat in the wheelchair they gave him and stared out the window at the rain. She hadnt changed a bit save for some new worry lines across her face. Those were caused by me and shouldnt have been he thought. I hope she can forgive me for the hell I put her through the past couple of years, at least Harriet knew Bud wasnt coming back. The wait for an answer about me must have been torture. Just like Mom. Never knowing what the next phone call might bring.
What are you thinking about Flyboy? She asked after watching him for several minutes from the door.
Whether or not you can forgive me for putting you through hell. He said as he turned the chair around to face her. His voice a little stronger than the first time they spoke, The doctors promise that my voice should heal nicely and return to normal now that it wont be hampered in healing anymore.
No matter what it sounds like as long as I can hear you I will be happy. Just to be able to touch you again is enough for me.
Are you sure that you want me back?
How can you ask me that? I mean really Harm, I have prayed every day for nearly 4 years that you would come home to me and you ask if I want you back? I believe I said for better or worse, till death do us part.
He hung his head down, I am so sorry Mac, and I didnt mean it that way. What I meant was can you handle the mess I am now. I dont even know for sure who I am anymore.
She saw the tears start down his face and it was all she could do to keep hers at bay. She walked over to him and knelt before the chair. Taking one hand she nudged his chin up so that he was looking into her eyes. I will be there every day for you Harm, I will help you get rid of the demons that you have had to deal with the past few years. Together we will find the Harmon Rabb I married in a quickie wedding so that we both would have something to hang onto while we were waiting to start our life together. AND as for who you are, you are Captain Harmon David Rabb, Navy pilot and lawyer, husband to the next JAG, and father to two of the cutest boys I have ever seen, even if I am prejudiced because I am their mother.
Boys? he asked
Yes. Boys. I was pregnant when you went down Harm.
Oh Mac, I wish I had known. He was going to try to apologize when she stopped him.
The letters telling you I was arrived as you took off that day. They were the only reason I made it through the past few years Harm. Mom says they look just like you.
Twins, we have twin boys?
Yes, Trey and Matt. Mom feels for me as they are a combination of the two of us.
Mom?
Your mother kinda took me under her wing after you went down. She is as much a mom to me as Frank is a dad. They were with me when the twins came early. As we watched them struggle to live we knew that they were your sons. They never gave up and now they terrorize the house.
Harmon Rabb the third huh? He asked as she saw the light get brighter in his eyes.
And Matthew Mackenzie Rabb. They turned 3 last week.
Harm looked down at his wife and saw her in a completely different light, the one that he had been dreaming of since he had been captured. I love you Sarah Rabb. And I promise that I will never be far from home without you again.
Just promise to love me forever like you did on our wedding day. That's all I ask.
I do. He said as he pulled her up to him for a kiss. She soon was in his lap and holding on to him for dear life as they both let loose the tears and fears of the past couple of years.
Do you have any pictures? He asked when they had both finally calmed down.
Stupid man, what kind of mother do you think I am? There isnt a mother on this planet who doesnt carry at least 30 pictures of her children with her at all time. She smiled as she got up, hitting him lightly on the shoulder and went to get her purse. She pulled out a couple of small albums and took the chair next to Harm and told him all about his boys.
A pride he didnt know he had came through and busted a few of the well constructed walls that he had built since he crashed. A pride for his wife and for the sons he never met. He watched Sarah as she told stories about Trey and Matt and how much she loved in being a mother. For the first time in a long time he felt alive and he couldnt wait to get back home
0450 Local
Harms Hospital room
Harm awoke with a jolt as he realized he wasnt in his cell, the confusion stayed with him while he surveyed the room and found Mac asleep in the chair next to the bed. God she looked so beautiful asleep. Not a care in the world, her thoughts on their sons and what they were doing.
He was a father, a dream that kept him alive and the promise to her that kept him going was a reality. A reality that came crashing down on him as he listened last night as she gone on and on about their sons. What kind of father will I be churned over and over in his mind.
He had also listened as she had told him how AJ and Sydney had finally married and surprised when she found out she was pregnant. Alex was 14 months old and the image of his father, hair and all. She told him Harriet was living in California with her sons and that she was a lawyer now working out of the San Diego office under Kate Pike. That Jason Tiner was a lawyer now and her assistant, and that Victor Galindez was with NCIS in San Diego, he had made Captain and that he and Harriet were getting serious.
She even discussed the few letters she had gotten from time to time from Mic and how he was enjoying the married life with his new wife and that they were expecting their first sometime this summer.
He quietly made his way out of the bed, a skill he mastered so the guards wouldnt know he was awake and out of bed. A skill that was mastered so he wouldnt be punished, like so many other skills he found he could master.
He made his way down the hallway to the waiting room where he found several others from the camp that couldnt sleep.
Morning, sir. A couple of them said as they attempted to come to attention. Harm recognized Macmillan and Garrett but the other two were just faces that were familiar.
As you were guys, and until we are all back home and in uniform, just call me captain or Harm.
Yes sir. That woman yesterday, she is Mac. Isnt she? Macmillan asked pointing towards Harms room.
Yes, that is my wife, Colonel Sarah Mackenzie Rabb. The one I promised to come home to and start a family.
So that was what the promise was. We all guessed coming home was one of them since you said there were a couple of promises you intended to keep. Macmillan said.
Kids huh sir? I have 4 to go home to. They are the ones I made my promise to. I was told last night that my wife died last year from cancer, but the kids are there waiting for me. I just hope they understand where I have been.
I keep asking myself the same question Garrett. But after the greeting I got and the chewing out from her for me doubting her, I know all of our families will be glad to see us come home. And if they dont, we will always have a family between ourselves. No one survives an ordeal like this without becoming close in some aspect.
Sir, some of us have been talking and since you are still our CO, we would like to set up a yearly meeting among ourselves. A gathering of those who need to see and speak with someone who understands what we went through, and a way for our families to talk and meet with others who are just like them.
I have already decided that I would help establish a hotline for us Macmillan and I will see to it that we have a place reserved the first weekend in March for a reunion.
Thank you, sir.
Harm shook their hands and was headed back to his room when it hit him. Hey guys? I found out last night that I am a father of twin boys.
Thats great sir, congratulations. The men standing there said as they walked over and shook his hand and patted him on the back.
Mac leaned against the doorframe and watched her husband as he took the hands offered and beamed a smile he hadnt really showed her yet.
JAG HQ
The day after the prisoner release
930 EST
AJ looked over the document for the sixth time in thirty minutes and finally just gave up and tossed it on his desk. He was waiting for Mac to call and give him an update. He, as had the others, received a phone call from Clay saying the Harm looked good on the outside, but that he hadnt seen him long enough to know about the inside yet. Clay mentioned there would be a debriefing of all those released and then they would be allowed to call home. A call he was looking forward too.
Permission to enter?
Permission granted Commander. AJ said as the first smile of the day came to his face. How are you?
Forgoing rank and protocol AJ and Harriet met halfway and hugged. And as they released each other, he shook Victors hand.
Looking good there, Captain.
Thank you, sir.
When did you get your bars?
About two months ago. When I took over as head of the detective division at San Diego NCIS. It gives me a little more time at home, He said as he shared a look with Harriet.
I am glad you two have found each other, it is hard enough to find someone the first time.
Thank you sir. I know that Bud wouldnt have wanted me to grieve forever and it means a lot that you approve.
Bud was a good man, Harriet and he won't be forgotten. But youre right he would have wanted you to move on. Now I am not so sure to a marine? He said with enough lightness that got a smile from the two of them.
Has Mac called sir?
She called Trish last night while they were debriefing Harm, she said that he is okay, has some old injuries that will need fixing and a lot of TLC to bring him out of the shell he created. Said he was excited and wanted to meet his boys.
Well thats good. I know she was scared about his reaction. When are they due in?
Sometime tomorrow. Just a minute, as he answered the phone, yes?
Okay send her in.
Do you need us to leave? Harriet asked as Senator Bobby Latham walked in.
No Commander, you and the Captain can stay. I just needed to let AJ here know personally what the preliminary reports coming back on Harm said. Bobbie replied back as she took a seat in front of AJs desk.
Nothing bad, I hope. Clay said he was great according to what some of the men that were under him said. AJ asked as he returned to sit behind his desk as Harriet and Victor took up positions at the end.
He was great, some of the stories, each give the vision of what Harm and the others went through. Some of the tough decisions he made so the whole would have a chance. Because of all of that, he is being nominated for the CMH.
He was under investigation for it before this, wasnt he? Harriet asked as she remembered AJ handling the initial report right after Harm had been shot down.
Yes, for his actions the day he was shot down. But because of everything going on it was pushed side. So between his bravery in the air and leadership on the ground, as soon as he is up for it, he will receive the Congressional Medal of Honor. Bobbie said setting the file on the desk for everyone to see.
Wow. He wont be expecting that.
Lets keep it that way. I told the committee that he needed time home first before we start pinning medals on his chest. I assume that the same can be said for the rest of the returning POWs.
Can I at least tell Mac? She is the best at figuring him out and will know when to tell him.
At least wait till they get home tomorrow, the plane is due to land at noon. The press has gotten wind of it and there will be thousands there to welcome them back. I have 15 passes here for the family and friends of Harmon Rabb.
Thanks Bobbie, Harm will thank you himself later.
Just getting to hand these out is enough. It has to be enough since we took so long getting them out.
Germany
0800 local
Harm looked himself over in the mirror. He lost nearly forty-seven pounds while imprisoned and was so glad that they gave him a new uniform to fit him now. A few new ribbons he gained while gone added to the fruit salad on the front of his coat and his rank of captain shown by the number of braids along his sleeves. He ran a finger over his wings as he pondered his naval career.
He had finally talked with his mother last night, a thirty-minute conversation that had both in tears. He was so grateful to her for helping Sarah out and told her so. Her response was that it was a Rabb wife duty to help the newest Mrs. Rabb out while missing her husband. A duty he hoped Mac would never have to go through with their sons and wives.
Ready to go, Sailor?
Yes, Marine. I am ready, scared but ready.
Dont worry, there is nothing we cant get through as long as we are together. Just like the past 4 years we were only separated by space, but the faith in each other and the love was always there.
Thanks. I love you. You know that?
Yes I do and I love you too. But if you dont get your six in gear we are going to miss our flight.
You havent changed a bit Marine. He said laughing as he grabbed his cane in one hand and placed his other arm around her.
In flight
0900 EST
Harms curiosity was killing him so as soon as Mac nodded off he got up and went looking for Clay, who he found in the bar of the 777. Clay, Mac told me about all of the help you gave while her I was gone. I just wanted to thank you.
You owe me nothing Harm. I was just repaying a debt I owed you.
Clay, you dont owe me a thing. Harm replied back as he realized Clay was drunk.
Oh yes I do, that last flight you made, the one where you went after that secret target. He paused as Harm nodded, I was the one who found that site.
Harm quickly understood where Clay was going, I would have gone on that mission anyway Clay, and it was already assigned before we had a target. I was going to fly anyway.
Dont give me that Harm, I knew that you were off on that mission and only took it so you could make sure the site was taken out.
Is that true, Harm? Mac asked as she joined them.
He turned not wanting to face either of them, especially Mac.
Harm, answer me, did you add your name to the flight list that day?
Yes.
Well then Clay, it is time you forgave yourself and let Harm take some of the blame. You both have paid for your egos, Harm three years in hell and you with you leg trying to find him.
You lost your leg trying to find me? Harm asked in shock.
Yes, I was undercover trying to find out information on all POWs, but mainly you.
Well then you too are even, there is no more debt and there will be no more discussion of who gave up what for whatever. Harm is home Clay and Clay did so much for me and the kids while you were gone, Harm. So when this plane touches down in Washington, things will be even and we will all go on with our lives, unless you two keep digging up blame. I know we cant forget what happened but we will get past it. Please for all us, let's let it go. Mac finished with tears down her face.
Harm and Clay looked at each other and turned their attention to Mac. Im so sorry Harm, please know that. And Mac is right, I can finally let the ghost go.
No hard feelings, Clay, but I understand the ghost following you around. There will be a lot of ghosts following me. Mac, he said as he walked over to her and placed a hand on each shoulder. I can't promise that. I will try but I cant promise.
Its a start Harm, and I will take what I can get for now. If we have to bury the ghosts one by one well do it together.
Andrews Air Base
1215 EST
Trish scanned over the crowd one more time amazed at the number of people here to meet the returning POWs. The press had been held back to the terminal and only a family pass could get you to the tarmac. The plane was set to land about 200 ft away and those on board would walk over to their waiting families.
Trish wondered if this was what it would have been like if Harm Sr. had come home. She looked to the sky and thanked her husband for protecting their son and bringing him back to her.
There they are. AJ pointed out.
Why are they running late AJ?
I was told they ran into some weather over France. It slowed them down. He turned and told Frank, who was holding a fidgeting Matt.
Down Grandpa, Down.
Hold your horses young man. Mommy will be here in a minute.
With Daddy right? Trey asked from where he was standing holding onto Trishs hand. The boys had been told stories about Harm for since they were born and neither of them seemed to care that they had never met their father, all they knew was that he was coming home. They were excited and the longer they waited for the plane became a bigger handful.
Yes with your Daddy. Trish answered her grandson with tears in her eyes.
Frank looked at his wife and reached for her other hand, squeezing it in silent acknowledgment of what she is thinking. She gave him a smile back as the plane landed.
On the plane as it landed
Welcome home, Sailor. Mac said as she leaned over and kissed Harm.
He gave her a smile of thanks and returned to looking out the window at the people and signs that were waving as they touched down.
Have you found Mom yet?
No, but there are so many people out there. Kind of intimidating, three years without another sole to touch or feel and now people everywhere, I just hope this doesnt upset any of the men.
I am sure that they will make it through this like they have the past few years. They follow your lead Harm; dont worry about being strong because I am right here beside you to lean on. Why dont you say something to them?
He nodded and got up as the plane taxied to the spot where it was to be park. The Flight attendant handed him the mic.
Can I have your attention? He asked and was met with immediate silence. Something the flight crew hadnt managed since they took off. In just a few minutes we will be getting off this plane and into the arms of our loved ones. I just wanted everyone to know one last time that I was proud to serve with you and that my phone will always be available if you need someone to talk to. Now I also wanted to let you know that I too am nervous about getting off this plane, but remember as long as we all stand together we can make it through anything.
As before when they landed in Germany, the whole group stood up as one and saluted Harm, which he returned with tears in his eyes.
The front cabin door opened and Harm turned and shouted, Lets make them proud. He reached out for Mac and pulled her to her feet then lead the group out of the plane.
Harm walked across the strip with the aide of his cane and Mac as he headed towards the crowd. In what seemed like forever as they made their way over came to small voices that were running towards Mac with his Mother and Frank in tow.
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
Mac let go of his hand as Trey and Matt ran into her open arms as she knelt down before them.
Harm? Trish said as she came up beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Harm didnt trust himself to speak as he embraced her. Letting lose another downpour of tears. He held on for dear life until he heard, Daddy?
He let go of his mother and turned to Mac who was holding both boys up, I dont know which is which. He said as his voice returned.
Dont worry, Harm. Only Mac can tell you who is who 24 hours a day. I still get them mixed up. Frank told him as he came up beside the group that was one among the many mini reunions going on around them.
Im Trey, Daddy. He said as he reached out for Harm to take him.
Nervous as a cat, he took the boy from Mac, who was crying.
Hello, Trey. He got out before his voice caught.
I would hate to see him with a newborn. Probably drop it.
Sir. Harm said as he came to attention.
At ease Mr. Rabb. This is your day. Enjoy it and let the brass come to for you.
Aye, sir.
Now then, we are going to get going and have the house ready for everyone. I know it will take you awhile to get there so dont worry. I am sure the gang waiting there won't mind at all as long as they know you are here in Washington.
Thanks AJ, we will be there soon. Mac answered as Harm looked to her for an explanation. It is a welcome home party. For those who couldnt make it here or decided to give us some time alone before they mobbed you. Mom and I discussed it and think that it will be better if we get all of this out of the way so you can settle in a little more quietly in a few days.
How I have missed that marine take charge and plan everything out mentality.
Switch Daddy? Matt asked as he wanted to be held by Harm too.
Okay. He said as Frank took Trey and Matt jumped into his arms. He held the boy close, Thank you, Mac.
You're welcome, Flyboy.
2 hours later.
After saying goodbye to most of the men he knew and getting around the press, they finally managed to make it out of the airport.
Harm asked questions every now and then but mainly listened to Mac, Frank and his mom talk about things that were going on. He was about to ask Mac something when he felt a toy hit him on the back of the neck.
Trey Rabb, how many times do I have to tell you not to throw your toys?
Before Trey could answer his mother, Harm started laughing, the first good laugh he had had since being taken prisoner. And the looks from everyone else in the car caused him to laugh more.
Harm? You okay? Mac asked.
Mommy Marine. It fits you. It's just that I have never heard or seen you act like that. I have dreamt it so many times but hearing it just sounded funny.
Relief flooded Mac as she understood.
Trey looked at his parents like they had lost it, Im sorry Mommy. Sorry Daddy.
It's okay sport. Just dont throw your toys like Mommy asked you too, okay? Harm told his son as he picked up the little plane he had been hit with and showed it to Mac with a questioning gesture.
Okay Daddy.
Theyre future Marine pilots, so get used to it.
After handing the toy to his son took her hand kissed it. Mouthing the words as they pulled up into the drive, I dont think so.
Rabb Residence
1700 EST
The welcome home party was slowly dying out as guests realized how tired Harm was and promised to come back over soon and just visit with him. Some of the conversation had been awkward as Harm was not ready to give up details of his time as a POW.
He roamed around the house checking out his new home, seeing the touches that Mac put on the place and identifying things that had been in his old apartment.
He smiled when he found the boys room, all decorated with planes and the two beds shaped like cars. His mind went over the things he missed while she was pregnant. Finding out she was pregnant, her growing large with the twins, her feelings all over the place and none of them helped with him being MIA. How scared she must have been when they had arrived 9 weeks early. The elation of when she got to bring them home and watch them as they grew.
Im game for another one.
Hmm? What? He asked, as he didnt catch what she said the first time.
I said whenever you are ready, I am game for another one, but I would like to try for a girl this time. Just beware that my hormones go totally haywire.
Are you sure, Mac?
Yes, I am, whenever you are ready Harm. But no matter what, I am just glad you are home.
It seems kind of strange for me Mac. This may be home but I feel out of place.
If I could have raised the twins there, I would have kept your old apartment, one baby yes, two no. There wasnt any space for the stuff they require, so I made a decision with out you. It hurt, to search for the dream house we wanted without you, but I tried to pick something I knew you would like too. Mom and Dad were ready to shoot me when I finally found this place. It has a shop out back and there is still plenty of work to be done around here so you can play. I know you feel out of sorts here but this is your home.
Just give me time okay?
We have all the time in the world Harm now that you are home.
Mommy, can Daddy come play wit us?
Ask Daddy yourself Matt.
Daddy want to play?
Sure why not, it has been ages since I just sat on the floor and played. What Mac?
Go ask your father, what sweet words those are.
Come on daddy. Matt pleaded as he tugged on Harms hands.
Im coming Matthew.
Ill be in the kitchen cleaning up. Just remember that the toys stay in the play room guys.
A chorus of yes Mommy came from Matt and Harm.
In the Kitchen
Where is Harm? Harriet asked Mac as she entered the kitchen.
He is sitting in the middle of the playroom with Matt, Trey, Patrick and AJ. They finally dragged him in there and is at their mercy.
I think that I will go and join him so you ladies can talk.
Thanks Vic. Play nice. Harriet added as he walked out giving her a 'whatever' kind of look.
Harriet, be nice.
Oh I am, he plays with the boys all of the time. He is so good with them and they like him.
So are you two getting that kind of close?
I think so, but I wonder who is more scared to let it go past where we are now. Him or me? I want to believe that I am ready to totally let Bud go and then there is something like MIAs found and POWs being freed that brings back how badly I miss him. Vic is so good to me during those times, understanding but how long do I hang on?
Harriet, Mac started as she placed her hand on Harriets shoulder. Only you know that question. Dont commit too early but then dont wait too long. Harm had to get over Diane before he was ready to move and you know how that story goes. It was almost to late, not because of the war but because of Mic. The war just woke him up; dont wait for something to wake you up.
Do you think there is a chance Bud is still alive?
I cant answer that Harriet, but I will say that if he was he would have been released by now. Harm told me all about the crash and what he saw. If he thought that there was a chance Bud was still alive he would have gone back in and looked for him.
I know. I just need someone else to say it. I know hes gone and never coming back but a small part of me wants it for his sons.
Harriet, I know how you feel. I have been in your shoes. Trish said as she entered the conversation. Harm and Frank never got along well but there is a man in the other room playing with your sons like they were his own. He loves them I can see that. Let go if youre ready to and move on with him. You cant wait for everyone else to approve either, just do what your heart is ready for.
Thanks Mac, Trish. I will. It wont be tomorrow but sometime this year.
Good for you.
Mac I just came in to tell you that everyone else has left and said they would call and come by again later this week.
AJ and Sydney too?
Alex was running a fever and they didnt want to spread what ever he has among the kids.
So that leaves Harriet and Vic as the only company we have?
Yep, so if you ladies want to you can help me warm up dinner and set the table.
Lead on, Mom.
A month later
April 14th 2004
JAG HQ
1100 EST
Mac sat idly at her desk staring at the file in front of her.
Colonel, you are never going to get anywhere just staring at it.
Uh, what? Oh Im sorry sir.
Problems at home Mac?
She looked up to AJ and let out a sigh, Yes.
Why dont you come to my office and well talk about it. I have an idea or two of what could be going on and I may have a suggestion to help.
Mac got up and followed him to his office and took a seat beside him. Harms having problems readjusting isnt he?
Yes, he still cant sleep at night. He gets up at all hours. The doctors told me that would be normal but how long is it supposed to last? He has taken to the boys but I can see him putting space between him self and them. Like he is afraid to get close and theyll go away. He treats me the same way. And she thought silently he hasnt even wanted or asked to be intimate with her. He has retreated so deep into himself I can hardly find him.
AJ didnt ask what he knew she wanted to add so instead he asked, How did the surgery go?
The doctors say he should regain full use of his leg by the end of the summer. He might always have a limp but a small one. They even told him he could re-qualify to fly again if he wanted to but he didnt even show an interest.
AJ saw the tears that threatened to fall. I have an idea Mac. Judge Janeway is retiring as of May 1st. Since it is not under my direct command, Harm could take her place on the bench. It is also something he can do while he finishes recovering. Get him out and back into main stream.
Ill ask him, but I dont know how he will react.
Mac I know you know this. But give it time; it is going to take time. Ask him and let me know. If he wants the position then I will do anything it takes to get him there.
Thank you, sir.
Why dont you take the rest of the day off and go home.
I believe I will.
And unless I hear from you, the boys can spend the night at my place.
Thanks AJ.
30 minutes later
Rabb Residence
Mac entered the house, Harm, Im home.
She set her purse down on the counter top and went searching the house. She found him on the back porch sitting on the stairs watching the dogs play. Harm?
Im okay Mac.
Are you really?
Yes, I am just sitting here trying to put the pieces of my life back together. What are you doing home so early?
Would you like some help in putting that puzzle back together? I have the whole afternoon off and AJ said he would keep the boys for us tonight. So I am all yours.
Are you sure you still want to be married to me?
Why are you asking me that Harm? Have I given you any reason to think otherwise?
No, you havent. But
But what?
I dont feel like I belong anymore Mac.
She sat down beside him and took his hand in hers and played with his wedding ring. Harm, I know that the world you left is gone. The life we had before is gone and we can never get it back. But we have a chance to start over, something your parents never got to do. I want us to find some way back to the dreams we shared with each other the day we said I do. Those dreams kept me going. Please dont take them away from me.
He looked over at her and saw she was doing everything she could to keep from crying as she kept going.
Harm, I have waited for you and have taken the hints and clues from you since you came home. Except for the one or two times that I suggested something, all you do is withdraw further from me. You keep shutting me out of your life. Harm, Ill wait for you for as long as you need. Whenever you are ready to live again, I will be here, but I want you to do something for me. I know you used to dream of what it would have been like had your father come home. How he would have behaved. I want you to remember those dreams and realize that your wife and children have the same ones. We want you back and we will take whatever we can get but just dont push us away.
I dont mean to Mac, its just so hard for me to realize that I am home. I feel so lost and I watch you and you go on like nothings changed. I feel out of place in those dreams.
Well then it is high time you got back into living too. Admiral Janeway is retiring in two weeks and you were nominated to replace her. I know it's not a tomcat or the same as being in front of the bench but it is a way to get back into life. Its a start.
Mac, I dont know.
Whats not to know, Harm? You have to reenter life sooner or later. So do it now while we still have a chance. Please Harm, if not for the boys and me do it for you. Please?
Harm saw the pain he was causing in her eyes and lowered his head. He felt the rejection go through Mac as she let his hand go, as she got up and left him alone on the back steps.
Harm, I waited for you once before to come to your senses and propose to me, she stopped before she could say anything else and rushed into the house. The only sound worse than the screen door slamming shut was the sound of her heart breaking.
It was over thirty minutes before Harm came in looking for Mac. After a long internal discussion about why he was holding back this time and what was important, he decided that Mac was right. It was time to live again, let the past four years go and move on. He would need her help as he overcame his demons but as she had been there before, she would be there again. Everyday giving to him only what she wanted in return. Love.
He finally found her in their bedroom, lying across the bed crying.
Sarah? He said as he sat on the edge of the bed. Mac, I am going to need your help in brushing up on the law. I havent cracked a book open in 4 years.
Surprised, Are you sure Harm? I dont want to push you into something youre not ready for.
I need you to push me, if you dont I dont know if I can make it alone. I need you by my side. It was the only thing that kept me alive over there and I need help reconnecting with everything here. I want to come home Mac. I need you.
She rolled over and saw the tears that streaked his face, the first tears she had seen since the hospital back in Germany, since they landed in Washington. She scooted over to him and pulled him into her arms. I told you, Sailor, I am here waiting for you and I will be here everyday for you.
I know Mac, and I am so sorry I can't open up just yet, smiling a little now, and I promise it wont be eternity either.
Small steps Harm. That's all we are asking for, the boys and I.
He spoke again after he regained some composure, I used to dream of what our kids would be like when they were beating me. It was a place I created in my mind so the whip wouldnt hurt so much.
What were they like Harm, our kids?
Much like Trey and Matt but there were little girls who looked just like their mother running around too. I think I had us up to five at one time, and dont ask me how many of each.
Mac lay back on the bed so she could read his eyes. So our sons get your looks and my brains, and the girls get my looks and my brains too huh?
I believe it was your looks and my brains for the boys and my looks and your brains for the girls, but I will take any combination. Cant be to picky when the mother is a marine now can I? He said trying to laugh.
Small steps Harm and together we will break those walls down. She said as she took his hand and squeezed it.
I love you Sarah, I miss holding you, kissing you, and the way you make me feel. He said as he lowered himself to kiss her. Allowing him self to really feel since he came home, awaking. How long are they keeping the boys?
All night unless you want to go and get them?
Matt hogs the covers and the center of the bed, and tonight I want you all to myself in the middle of the bed.
Ill call AJ and Sydney and let then know that well pick them up in he morning.
Later, you can call her later. And I apologize now, I havent done this since my honeymoon.
Thats okay sailor, neither have I.
1900 EST
Chedwiggin Residence
Hi Grandma.
Hello there Trey, where is Grandpa?
Feeding Alex. He said as he blazed a trail down the hallway.
AJ, Im home.
Good, you can watch the boys while I fix supper.
How long do we have them?
Unless Mac calls, sometime tomorrow. She and Harm needed some time alone and I offered to keep them for awhile and overnight should the services be needed.
You are a good man AJ, not many men would offer to baby sit 3-year-olds.
It is for a good cause. I needed to see why we are thankful to only have one. He said grinning at her.
May 13th 2004
JAG HQ
0805 EST
Good to see you without your crutches, Captain.
Thank you, sir. It was a pleasure to leave them at home, though I am sure my leg will remind me later why I still need them. The doctors assure me that this cast comes off soon.
Im glad to hear that, do you have a moment? AJ stopped him and had him in a position so he was facing away from the bullpen.
I have a case before me in about 20 minutes sir. Could this wait till after court today?
I have meetings at the hill. The hell with it, Harm, you have been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. The ceremony will take place on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend.
Harm stood there in shock, me sir? Why?
For your conduct as CAG and as CO of the prison camp.
I was just doing my duty, my job nothing else.
Well Harm, someone was impressed and the whole matter was investigated. I have read the report and it was thorough. Congratulations Harm for a job well done.
Harm shook AJs hand still bewildered by the honor.
And I also have this privilege. Your name is on the fall promotion list, come September 1st you will be Admiral Rabb. And God save us all then.
Harm turned to the clapping of the office staff and found Mac right behind him. You knew?
About the CMH yes, the star no. I am so proud of you. She reached up and kissed him, getting some whoops and hurrahs from the crowd then. I believe you have court in fourteen minutes, Captain." She said with a twinkle in her eyes.
Okay everyone back to work. AJ bellowed as the group scattered. He waited till everyone was out of earshot before speaking to Harm again. I know you dont think you deserve any of it Harm, but you did a damn good job out there and the men who served under you think they the world of you or they wouldnt have pushed for this. The men who flew under your command and those from the camp will be there to see you get that medal. And if you dont accept it for yourself, then accept it for all of those you fought for and with you that didnt make it home.
Thank you sir. Ill keep that in mind.
2 weeks later
May 24th 2004
The White House Rose Garden
Harm stood at attention on the podium while the President spoke of the sacrifices American service personnel had made over the years protecting the United States and keeping the future generations out of harms way.
He didnt have to look far to find Mac and their family. He smiled as he watched Matt and Trey try to stand still just like him while he waited to get his medal. His mother and Frank sitting besides Mac, a few rows back sat AJ and Sydney, along with Victor and Harriet.
And though he knew they werent really there, in the back he could almost make out his father and Bud. Standing together smiling at him and giving him thumbs up, along side of them stood the faces of the comrades who had died beside him. AJ was right, this medal wasnt for him; it was his way of honoring all of those who gave their life for his.
( Hearts and Safe Harbors is a fill in here if you wish to read it )
March 1st 2005
Bethesda Hospital
0900 EST
Come on Mac, push. You can do it. Push.
Why dont you push, Sailor. It was easier last time. Mac moaned as she took a brief break between contractions.
Well premies are my dear and this one is full term and I want to meet him or her so get your gung ho marine butt in gear and push. Harm said as he smiled at the look the doctor gave him , and he took the glare from Mac as the next one hit.
Alright Sarah. Just a couple more and this baby is out. So come on now push. Doctor Rosen said.
Come on Honey. Push 1 2 3 4 5 6 .
It hurts Harm.
I know it does but the heads almost out. See? he said as he pointed with one finger at the mirror.
Mac looked and gave it her all with the next contraction. She was rewarded with the sound of a crying infant.
Well folks looks like you got yourselves a new daughter. And she looks good. Here Daddy why dont you cut the cord.
Harm took the offered scissors and with a trembling hand cut where he was told to. The doctor then placed the baby on Macs chest.
Oh Harm, she is so precious. Mac said as she checked her daughter over.
She sure is, oh Sarah you did a good job. He said in awe as he brushed a finger over the babys hair. He leaned over and kissed Mac on the forehead. I love you, Ninja Girl.
I love you too, Flyboy. What are we going to call her? I know you wanted to pick the girls name.
Jessica Catherine Rabb, how does that sound little one?
Jessica grabbed one of his fingers and opened her eyes towards her father.
I think she likes it, Daddy. I know Mommy does and she has your eyes.
And the rest of her is you, she has your color and she has your nose. Lord I am in trouble now. Harm joked.
What do you mean by that?
If the boys look like me and act like me, then little Jessica here is going to be just like her mother. One hundred percent stubborn jarhead.
Mac was going to come back with something as the nurse came over to take Jessica away to clean her up and check her over. Dont worry Mom, well bring her right back. And Dad, there is a crowd in the waiting room you need to see to while we finish up with your ladies.
After Jessica was cleaned up, measured and weighed, Harm headed off to the waiting room.
Trish caught sight of him first. She had been invited to be there again at the birth but declined. She knew it just needed to be the two of them this time, besides someone had to watch Trey and Matt. Well, son? She asked as the group stood up and come over to greet him.
Its a girl, Jessica Catherine Rabb, 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 23 inches. She fine and so is Mac.
Congratulations Harm. Clay said as he offered Harm a cigar.
Thanks Clay, I know Mac will be happy to see you all in a bit.
Harriet came over and gave him a hug; We wouldnt have missed it for the world. You guys have always been there for me. And low for only Harm, Bud would be happy for you, too.
Harm stepped back and wiped a tear from his eye. I know. For you too. As he motioned towards Victor, When are you adding?
Weve only been married for 3 months sir. Give us a little time. Victor said as Harriet blushed alittle.
With a smile now, Not the marine answer I was expecting Captain.
Be nice Harm. Not all Marines are successful on their first attack on the beach.
Youre right, Admiral. Harm nodded in agreement with AJ.
You guys need to cut that out. You are embarrassing Harriet and Victor, Sydney piped in as she swatted AJ on the arm.
The whole group laughed as Harm turned towards the two boys who had come running down the hall as they spotted their father, he took their hands and led them down towards Mac room with the others saying theyd come back later.
1900 EST
Mac's Room
With a jolt, Harm woke up trying to figure out just where he was; it was then that he caught himself as Mac smiled at him. About time you woke up, Harm. I was about to get out of bed and check on you.
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he came over to the bed and sat down beside her as she fed Jessica.
While running a finger over his daughters cheek, Sorry, but someone kept me up all night.
Well get used to it because she gets to decide when we sleep for the next few months.
At least she wont hog the covers for a few years.
Thank you, Harm.
For what?
For keeping all of the promises you made.
Anything for you Mac, anything for you.
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