Title: A Love She Can't Live Without
Author: TC Amlin
Disclaimers: Jag and its characters are owned by DB and CBS, the song Love She Can't Live Without is owned by Clint Black/Skip Ewing
Classification: V,
Spoilers: after Surface Warfare, sequel to In Another's Eyes, Mac thinks over the summer and her lovelife
August 25th
2000 EST
Mac's Apartment
Mac sat in the dark going over the events of the past few months. Since Mic had come to town her and Harms friendship had all but disappeared. He had grown quite reserved and after Renee's death had all but completely closed up. Allowing no one in. Bud had tried, as had several others to talk with him but without success. Once or twice he had even crossed AJ and had been told that he was on shaky ground. A week later, AJ had temporarily transferred Harm to Corpus Christi, TX in hope that a few months of punishment and time away from Washington would help. The CO there had called last week to tell AJ that Harm had come in drunk a few times and that if he didn't clean up soon that charges might be drawn up.
Tonight though as she sat alone, she had finally made a decision concerning her future.
Quietly the CD player changed,
He gives her attention, he's constantly, carefully planting the seeds
The only thing missing, is really the only thing she needs
And he can't give that to her and she can't find it with him
So she'll have to find her way out of love she's not really in
Chorus:
She can live with what goes with leaving
She knows it's the only way
Though it kills her to give up believin'
She can't live with herself if she stays
She could settle for what she'd be feeling
If she gave in and worked this one out
She doesn't want the kind of love she can live with
She wants the kind of love she can't live without
She finally got up to get ready for when Mic arrived. Looking in the mirror trying to find herself in the reflection.
She looks in the mirror and sees all the sadness in her eyes
It's never been clearer what he's asking her to sacrifice
But she can't be his forever, she can't even be his for now
She'll have to be kind to them both and let go of him somehow
Repeat Chorus
And hardest part is she loves him
But she doesn't want the kind of love she can live with
She wants the kind of love she can't live without
She went over when her mother had surprised her and showed up on her door unannounced in June. Mic had been there and Harm had stopped by once while she was there to just drop off a file. One look at Mac had told that her daughter was in the middle of the road in making a hard choice. Love that would be there for her forever or the love that she wanted forever. Her mother had asked Mic for some time alone with Mac and he had reluctantly agreed. Mic, who knew little about Mac's past was just surprised to find out that Mac had any living relatives. Harm on the other hand, and in the only display of friendship he had shown all summer, had told her to protect her heart. Mac had looked at Harm and wondered where the comment had come from. He had then gone on to say that he knew what she had been through the first time her mother had come and gone, he just wanted her to be okay. He had kissed her and left. It was the next Monday when she found out that Harm had been transferred out. He had left without saying good-bye to her in person. She silently had hoped that had been the real reason he had stopped by the Friday before. She could only hope.
She had finally made her decision with the help of her mother who had sent Sarah the CD that she had received the day before and had read the note she had sent too. < Honey, don't settle for anything less than what your heart wants, listen to track 9. If you ever take any of my advice, go for the man you cant live without. > She sighs as she continues to listen to the song as it plays again, as the CD player is set for only that song.
He gives her attention, he's constantly, carefully planting the seeds
The only thing missing, is really the only thing she needs
And he can't give that to her and she can't find it with him
So she'll have to find her way out of love she's not really in
Chorus:
She can live with what goes with leaving
She knows it's the only way
Though it kills her to give up believin'
She can't live with herself if she stays
She could settle for what she'd be feeling
If she gave in and worked this one out
She doesn't want the kind of love she can live with
She wants the kind of love she can't live without
She looks in the mirror and sees all the sadness in her eyes
It's never been clearer what he's asking her to sacrifice
But she can't be his forever, she can't even be his for now
She'll have to be kind to them both and let go of him somehow
Repeat Chorus
And hardest part is she loves him
But she doesn't want the kind of love she can live with
She wants the kind of love she can't live without
For the umpteenth time she listen to the song. She heads to the door where Mic waits for her to open it. She knows now that she had made the right choice that afternoon. Give Mic back his ring and tell him no. Her only hope now was to try and bring Harm back from the abyss he had fallen into. Could she save the man she loves, she knew that she could but would the love be returned after all that has happened. She knows as Mic takes her in to an embrace after she opens the door that she can live with her decision. She loves Harm and that she will wait for eternity for him.
Links to other sites on the Web
